OK we can stop now with the "player mentality" vs "relationship mentality"...

[squirrels]

Enough is enough. People keep insisting that somehow looking for a long-term relationship with women requires a completely DIFFERENT set of skills and ideas than being a "player" and having one-night sex or f-buddy relationships with women.

The two are NOT diametrically opposed, people. In fact, the ideas are the SAME. You're NOT going to be able to maintain attraction for a girlfriend if you can't excite and dominate her as a man. So if someone gives you a tip and you think, "That's only for players...I'm looking for LOOOOOOOVE", that's adorable, really, but shut up and listen. A healthy sexual love is important for the development of the kind of relationship you're looking for. That needs to be in place before you worry about the friendship/pairing dynamic because if you never get it right, your woman will be banging someone else behind your back.

And if all you're interested in is playing women, then if you see a thread that involves the extra factors inherent in developing a longer-term pair-bond and maintaining a healthy male-female dynamic for more than just idle sex, then DON'T post just to B!TCH about it. Just skip it. Be SECURE in your player lifestyle instead of trying to validate yourself by convincing the "AFCs" that their thinking is wrong. Of course, tips are always welcome if you think something from the "player mentality" can benefit this individual in a relationship, up to and including a wake-up slap. But don't b!tch because this isn't exclusively a "player" or "pimp" forum.

I'm done.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Re: OK we can stop now with the "player mentality" vs "relationship mentality"..

Originally posted by squirrels
Enough is enough. People keep insisting that somehow looking for a long-term relationship with women requires a completely DIFFERENT set of skills and ideas than being a "player" and having one-night sex or f-buddy relationships with women.

The two are NOT diametrically opposed, people. In fact, the ideas are the SAME. You're NOT going to be able to maintain attraction for a girlfriend if you can't excite and dominate her as a man. So if someone gives you a tip and you think, "That's only for players...I'm looking for LOOOOOOOVE", that's adorable, really, but shut up and listen. A healthy sexual love is important for the development of the kind of relationship you're looking for. That needs to be in place before you worry about the friendship/pairing dynamic because if you never get it right, your woman will be banging someone else behind your back.

And if all you're interested in is playing women, then if you see a thread that involves the extra factors inherent in developing a longer-term pair-bond and maintaining a healthy male-female dynamic for more than just idle sex, then DON'T post just to B!TCH about it. Just skip it. Be SECURE in your player lifestyle instead of trying to validate yourself by convincing the "AFCs" that their thinking is wrong. Of course, tips are always welcome if you think something from the "player mentality" can benefit this individual in a relationship, up to and including a wake-up slap. But don't b!tch because this isn't exclusively a "player" or "pimp" forum.

I'm done.

THANK YOU! NOW MAY I HAVE MY SOAPBOX BACK!!!???

Good post!

 

[JT47319]

A player can later make relationships.

While as someone relationship oriented will find it dramatically more difficult to become a player once his oneitis has broken up with him.

 

[CapiCrimini]

Agreed, Its been said a million times.

the DJ mentality isn't LTR or PUA. it's the fundamental mindset to get you whatever you desire and allow you to make the choice. It's freedom.

 

[Dirtheart]

Sorry, but I have to disagree upto a point.

Attraction in terms of relationships is different in that there are long term considerations, such as loyalty, potential, maturity and common interests. But in terms of casual sex these things don't matter at all. On the other hand, the player styles/techniques/qualities are sure to be offputting for a person seeking a long term mate.

I agree that sexual attraction is universal and if you lack this, then you'll lose out. But there's also emotional attraction, which is important to a LTR, but not to casual sex/dating.

Picking up a ONS can also be done with lines, techniques and even lies if you feel like it. What does it matter? LTRs need a more genuine approach.

So personally I think there are many major differences between the two. In fact, the only similarity I see is the sexual attraction.

 

[Nocturnal]

I agree with Dirtheart.

Also, a lot of posts (look at some of PS's and you'll see what I mean) concerning how to be a "player" just don't fit with the whole "self improvement/LTR" side of things.

 

[Ricky]

This is a very interesting topic.

There are girls that I'd only consider for ONS or repeating as f buddies.

There are other girls I'd be more interested in dating.

In both cases I'd try to get them in bed ASAP. The only difference is the f buddies I am pretty sure I wouldn't want a long term thing with.

 

[smoothiet]

*tears...

i gave up my playa ways for a "relationship" as i thought i no longer needed them, i wanted to be "serious" did all those lovey dovery stuff AFC do, i even let her trample my pride.... and now its over, i get the debriefing that she was only attracted to me cuz i was more of a challenge than her "afc" chasers....
oh well should have know better

 

[Survivor]

Originally posted by Nocturnal
I agree with Dirtheart.

Also, a lot of posts (look at some of PS's and you'll see what I mean) concerning how to be a "player" just don't fit with the whole "self improvement/LTR" side of things.

Disagree. We can learn soooooo much from our "player" brethern.

The "player" is MASCULINE. The "nerd" or "AFC" is ANDROGYNOUS.

"Self-improvement" to become more masuculine can never be a bad thing. LTR or otherwise.

Androgynous males will lose no matter what their pursuits are, be it exclusive LTRs or to be a player.

The goal is not to be in an LTR, nor is to be a player. Hell its not even to be a DJ. It is to be MASCULINE, physical proof to her that you are indeed a MAN. (In fact, that's gonna be my new sig...)

squirrels is right.

 

[CapiCrimini]

Hell its not even to be a DJ. It is to be MASCULINE, physical proof to her that you are indeed a MAN. (In fact, that's gonna be my new sig...)

I'm going to disagree there. From what i've read women psycologically need two men. A gene passer and a provider.

So if you kill off the population and create all players[alpha] then there are no providers[beta]. Same with vice versa. What nature needs is an equalibrium. Therefore some men will be beta and some alpha. You can change through desire to be the other. But niether is truly better, just different paths.

So being a DJ shouldn't be about either one of them. It should be about improving both sides. To make the choice better for whichever side of the puzzle people want to end on.

thus. Self-Improvement, not getting laid is DJism

 

[MrCode]

So if you kill off the population and create all players[alpha] then there are no providers[beta].

I don't think that providers are always betas. A lot are, sure, but I think the wealthiest men in the world are damn good providers for their loved ones, yet I wouldn't consider many of them betas.

Still, I agree with your point that we as men and budding DJs need to find the right balance between lover and provider.

 

[CapiCrimini]

I used beta and alpha as words to describe provider and suplimenter, not in thier usual context on this site.

The only problem with finding a balance is they normally cancel themselves out. So if you want to be both you have to learn to be both and learn when to be both. Which is extremely harder then being a beta or a alpha alone. It take being able to control two different personalities and understand when to use either all without thinking about it and staying happy. Possible, but most people don't do it...

 

[strong like bull]

So if someone gives you a tip and you think, "That's only for players...I'm looking for LOOOOOOOVE", that's adorable, really, but shut up and listen.


ahaahahah. quote of the week.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I agree with squirrels.

After you get the girl to bed, you decide what to do with the girl. If you want a LTR and the girl is a good one, go ahead.

And this whole thing of being alpha, beta, teta, zeta male is bul$hit crap!

The terms I consider:

The jerk (assh*le)
The player
The Good guy
The AFC (chump) guy

 

[rgeere]

Originally posted by CapiCrimini
I'm going to disagree there. From what i've read women psycologically need two men. A gene passer and a provider.

So if you kill off the population and create all players[alpha] then there are no providers[beta]. Same with vice versa. What nature needs is an equalibrium. Therefore some men will be beta and some alpha. You can change through desire to be the other. But niether is truly better, just different paths.

So being a DJ shouldn't be about either one of them. It should be about improving both sides. To make the choice better for whichever side of the puzzle people want to end on.

thus. Self-Improvement, not getting laid is DJism

Capi, I think you are looking at things a little too deeply.

Have you ever had your father tell you to be nice to the ugly girls when you are young because they might become beautiful when they are older?

Young girls are told similar thing by their mothers "be nice to the nerdy guys, some day they might have a good income."

But the truth is that women do not want nerdy guys nor do men want ugly women. They eventually end up with each other because of a 'lack of manhood/womanhood.'

One thing I get tired of hearing is the assumption that all women are mindless droning users, who screw the bad boys and milk the losers. There are quite a few that are like this, but I would not point the finger at all of them even though it shouldn't be put past a woman to be tempted to cheat in light of finding another man of quality. Whether she does or not depends upon the quality of manhood you project, but that's all realitive.

 

[Player_Supreme]

Your mixing apples and oranges. Let me break it down for ya as I understand it to be:



PUA

A PUA is a guy who enjoys picking up and doing one night stands on women. He rarely will be in a relationship.



THE PLAYER

Has the attributes and skills of a PUA, but is often involved with his targets other than one night stands. That will mean that he has a girlfriend and a few fawk buddies on the side.

The player often ends up playing himself in his constant quest for new Pvssy.





THE MACK

Or player-supreme is the one who has mastered many levels of game and has taken his game to the ultimate level. He can now get money, objects, gifts, trips and other items from his women.
He has learned to "Reverse the Game".


THE PIMP

A over used word in todays society and it has no place on this site. Infact those with it in their screen names I feel should take it off, cause you really don't know a thing about the real game of pimping women for money. Nor am I even suggesting that you find out.





THE DON JUAN

Thats you guys or what you guys are striving to be. What that concept is I haven't quite figured out yet. But let me make an attempt here:

A guy who strives to improve himself in all things including relationships with women. A fellow who strives to be honest and upright in his dealings with women.

He strives to be a Real Man at all times....whether he is looking for a one night stand or a long term relationship.


I do not see a need for a special Player or PUA section anymore. I did when I first got here. Being hounded by what I call Symps ( sympathizers to women) for my ideals and beliefs, at that time I felt the need for a seperate section.

Squirrels has made a good point. The audience of LTR's need to respect the PUA's/Players/ect..ect. for their skills at getting women without critisizing their lifestyles and vica versa.

You have no idea how many heads have criticized me for the way I live my life. And I've done the same to the LTR's.

I also agree with Dirtheart. He hit it on the nail.

 

[frivolousz21]

playa supreme

that is a great post man. the use of the word "respect" to each is his own. we know what you want..you know what "we"(the striving dj's want")

and I like that mutual repsect. I love PUSSSY..i would love no more than to have new Pusssy all the time.

but Its not in me..id rather stive to be the best man at all times..and the LTR.

so good times for you my man!

CHEERS!