Ok really need help here with girl from work

[oldspice891]

Sup guys. Alright I'll try to keep this brief as possible and I'd like an opinion on how to go about this, as this has been KILLING me for the past month. I'm a good looking (been told this) 20 year old virgin that just wants to get laid so help me out here lol.

Met this girl at work. Known her for about 8 months and we talk a lot. She always asked me out. I denied, but I turned around when I got to know her better. Went out to dinner + movie, it was cool and we both connected really well. Afterwards, she flaked out on me a lot but we eventually went for a lunch thing and it went well too, but I didn't go in for a kiss (just didn't seem right timing, but I've done it perfectly with another girl I dated)

Heres the deal. Looking back like an idiot, I got infatuated too fast and I'm sure that sent her off, however the first date went well so I don't know why that happened that she started flaking. But I was never way clingy, I still had a life of my own to pursue. Anyways, she invited me over to her house one time and told me off giving me this ****ty attitude, I called her out on it at work, we talked it over and we're cool again. Now it seems as if we're almost back at stage 1 being flirty and friendly at work.

OK I know this is long but I really need help here. I'm a good looking dude now after working out and turning myself around and get along with women really well now and am very sociable, but growing up I was a shy, unsociable, and really fat. I've lost the weight and I feel and look great now(although I can still be that unconfident guy mentally) I'm highly ambitious, smart and focused, and respected by everyone I know. She grew up shy as well. She never texted me over that week we went out, but when I texted her would reply back immediately, and it would be flirty and fun the whole time.

So, considering that she grew up really shy her whole life, did she get to know me and think she wasn't good enough (she told me she hasn't dated that many guys), or did I give her too much attention, and she won me over after not doing it for many months. Was she trying to get me to chase her by not texting me and flaking out to see how much I really liked her? She said she wished the incident outside her house didn't happen, that she could take it back, and it was just a miscommunication(she seemed genuine about it but then again girls are girls).

I know that if a girl is interested, they'd still pursue you. I'm wondering, should I try to ask her out again? Knowing from my mistakes, I'm not acting clingy at all and I'm wondering if I should take some of the approaches I now read from this site to get her into me without me showing signs of infatuation.

Occam's Razor, the obvious answer is probably the right one, and I can sense that the sexual tension isnt there like it used to be, but it starting to appear a bit, or is it dead for good? It's still flirty and I see her looking at me a lot. Also am I friendzoned with her though? She hasn't talked to me about other guys or any of the other **** girls do.

I'm thinking about asking her out one more time and just asking her straight up, Look how about we give this one more go or is this just going to be an in work friendship. I've met other girls since then, but I still like her. Maybe it's cuz I haven't gotten my **** wet that I'm like this. Does this still occur even after laying a bunch of chicks?

So basically, what should I do next?

Whew that was long, but if anyone replies and helps me out, I'd really appreciate it.

 

[Allurre]

My friend, you are overthinking.

Just ask her out.

Otherwise you're just going to wind up in this loop of self-debating.

 

[oldspice891]

My friend, you are overthinking.

Just ask her out.

Otherwise you're just going to wind up in this loop of self-debating.

Lol yeah I am. It's sad and I hate it. Ask her out again, despite those other 2 times and her seeming not as interested? Is it going to seem pathetic, like her thinking "dude it didn't work before why are you still trying?"

 

[SchoolBoy]

Lol yeah I am. It's sad and I hate it. Ask her out again, despite those other 2 times and her seeming not as interested? Is it going to seem pathetic, like her thinking "dude it didn't work before why are you still trying?"

Here's some constructive criticism so you'll know for next time. You known her for 8 months and you're trying to pursue her now.. That's a tough one.. Because is a woman forms an initial opinion of you, and you don't spark attraction in her, there's nothing you can do about it. But in this case, whether she's shy or not that doesn't matter. What matters is you and how you deal with this situation.

So enough thinking and just "do it". Actions always speak louder than words, so get the balls and just ask her out. What have you got to lose? Friendship? Who give's a rat's ass about friendship in the world of seduction. Who cares what she thinks of you; does her opinion really matter? If her opinion does matter, then you have a lot of inner re-framing to do my friend.

If you wanna attempt seduction, stop talking like she's your friend. Talk to her like she's the girl you wanna sleep with. If you treat her as a friend, you WILL BE friendzoned I guarantee you that. So step out of your comfort zone and a be a man. Women don't want a pu$$y, they already got one. They want a man who has the balls to go out and take what he wants in life. And right now, it's your time to step up to the plate and take it. If it doesn't work out, then at least you know you are a MAN who took the risk. In life you only regret the things you don't do. Hope that helped...

 

[Allurre]

It doesn't bother her. What you are actually doing is inflating her ego.

Through time, people eventually change. She may feel like she could use a partner tonight.

If you let the 2 failed attempts become a problem, then that's what it'll continue to be.

 

[oldspice891]

Alright guys good stuff. I think I'll see if she wants to go out. If not, I'll have known my answer for sure and I'll just have to move on. Well I guess I also learned my lesson of don't **** where you eat.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

You are also a prime candidate to throw yourself into reading every post on this site. DJ Bible, Book of Pook, everything.

Unless you've been coming here awhile and just started a profile, that is.

 

[Veridin]

Maybe wait a while to show that you don't really need her, and then ask her out in a casual way?

 

[oldspice891]

You are also a prime candidate to throw yourself into reading every post on this site. DJ Bible, Book of Pook, everything.

Unless you've been coming here awhile and just started a profile, that is.

Yeah I'll get to reading that

 

[Proselytiser]

So, considering that she grew up really shy her whole life, did she get to know me and think she wasn't good enough (she told me she hasn't dated that many guys), or did I give her too much attention, and she won me over after not doing it for many months. Was she trying to get me to chase her by not texting me and flaking out to see how much I really liked her? She said she wished the incident outside her house didn't happen, that she could take it back, and it was just a miscommunication(she seemed genuine about it but then again girls are girls).

This is excuses that you invent for her because you are infatuated. Here's a tip: assume the worst. ALWAYS.

 

[oldspice891]

This is excuses that you invent for her because you are infatuated. Here's a tip: assume the worst. ALWAYS.

Well that's what she told me getting to know her. Also, could elaborate on assume the worst? Assume the worst about what?

You think that since there was no kiss on the 2nd hang out, she's pretty much nexted me in HER mind? Now that I think about it more (it was like a month and a half ago) there was a brief moment I went in, she sorta did, then I pulled back, which I feel like an idiot before because its been no prob for me to make out with girls in the past (usually been drunk though).

By the way cut me some slack lol I'm obviously new to this.

 

[SchoolBoy]

Well that's what she told me getting to know her. Also, could elaborate on assume the worst? Assume the worst about what?

You think that since there was no kiss on the 2nd hang out, she's pretty much nexted me in HER mind? Now that I think about it more (it was like a month and a half ago) there was a brief moment I went in, she sorta did, then I pulled back, which I feel like an idiot before because its been no prob for me to make out with girls in the past (usually been drunk though).

By the way cut me some slack lol I'm obviously new to this.

Just because you didn't kiss her on the second date, doesn't mean she "nexted" you. It just means your chances lower every time you don't kiss her. You say you've made out with girls in the past, but usually you're drunk. It's because alcohol gives liquid confidence, and you seem to lack that when you're sober. JUST DO IT n kiss her... don't think, just do.

 

[Proselytiser]

Well that's what she told me getting to know her. Also, could elaborate on assume the worst? Assume the worst about what?

You think that since there was no kiss on the 2nd hang out, she's pretty much nexted me in HER mind? Now that I think about it more (it was like a month and a half ago) there was a brief moment I went in, she sorta did, then I pulled back, which I feel like an idiot before because its been no prob for me to make out with girls in the past (usually been drunk though).

By the way cut me some slack lol I'm obviously new to this.

Assume that she lost interest because you gave her too much attention...