Ok it happened... am I ****ed?

[sazc]

Just tell her you realized that, while you do find her attractive, you're not in the position to be monogamous right now, much less the mindframe to have a quality relationship, and you don't want to lead her on, and you are sorry if you did, and regret hurting her, if you did.

Tell her you want both of you to continue with "your independent social lives" for the remainder of her time at your place.

 

[sazc]

Don't be surprised if she tries to take your inventory later. Just let her. Not worth the argument or the drama

 

[Ranger]

You have to have a good think on this yourself before you chat with her. It's evening in UK already and y'all might be chatting now.

The way I read the situation as presented in the thread is that BOTH of you are trying to have it both ways. You both want the girlfriend/boyfriend experience but you both want to be able to sample other lovers.

You both have caught some level of feelings for each other but nobody is willing to acknowledge that...and so there is massive game playing going on and you both have the ability to hurt the other.

This is a direct result of your proximity by living together.

Can you accept her as promiscuous and LTR her anyway? Can she accept you as a player and LTR you anyway? Doesn't appear so from this thread.

You need to sort out how this benefits YOU as Spaz said. And do be diplomatic in your communication with her. You guys are very similar in your behavior with other potential partners but then seem to try holding each other to a higher standard. That's not really working so well is it? Y'all can trade insults and accusations all night or you can actually have a conversation. Your choice.

he has all the stroke. Why would he have a negotiated conversation. That will make him lean more to the feminine. He should just constructively and directly state his position as a definitive statement. It’s not really a two-way communication. There’s nothing really to discuss. It’s not open ended. He has as much right to cut anything he wants off. Women do it all the time. Saying that he should have a conversation leads to frame breakdown if he pursues it.
There’s no need for him to be mean or remorseful. No need for cruelty or any type of emotion that would lead to discussion.

 

[BeExcellent]

he has all the stroke. Why would he have a negotiated conversation. That will make him lean more to the feminine. He should just constructively and directly state his position as a definitive statement. It’s not really a two-way communication. There’s nothing really to discuss. It’s not open ended. He has as much right to cut anything he wants off. Women do it all the time. Saying that he should have a conversation leads to frame breakdown if he pursues it.
There’s no need for him to be mean or remorseful. No need for cruelty or any type of emotion that would lead to discussion.

Sure. If they weren't already living together.

But they are. So if he wants to have a hostile home environment...absolutely go your route.

His domecile situation could go extremely south. Extremely south. He could be accused of requiring sexual favors as a condition of her renting there. She is from a family with enough money to afford the lawyers to make his life hell.

So yeah. He better have a two way conversation. The potential consequences could be serious if he doesn't.

I think moving her in was ill advised.

I think sleeping with her after moving her in was even more ill advised.

Now he's got a ticklish situation on his hands at best; a nightmare situation at worst.

All of his own construction. Brilliant.

 

[Ranger]

Sure. If they weren't already living together.

But they are. So if he wants to have a hostile home environment...absolutely go your route.

His domecile situation could go extremely south. Extremely south. He could be accused of requiring sexual favors as a condition of her renting there. She is from a family with enough money to afford the lawyers to make his life hell.

So yeah. He better have a two way conversation. The potential consequences could be serious if he doesn't.

I think moving her in was ill advised.

I think sleeping with her after moving her in was even more ill advised.

Now he's got a ticklish situation on his hands at best; a nightmare situation at worst.

All of his own construction. Brilliant.

We disagree. Flip the script.

 

[Soflobro#3]

She has spoken before about wanting to get hypnotised so she doesn’t get aggressive when drunk, I’ve never seen it but her old housemate said did.

She just text me this

This is basically admitting what she did imo. Oh well nice while it lasted. Fwb arriving in 2 hours.

This b1tch is nuts. Man its fine if you want to drink and do drugs, just don't get seriously involved with women who do it.

 

[Soflobro#3]

Sure. If they weren't already living together.

But they are. So if he wants to have a hostile home environment...absolutely go your route.

His domecile situation could go extremely south. Extremely south. He could be accused of requiring sexual favors as a condition of her renting there. She is from a family with enough money to afford the lawyers to make his life hell.

So yeah. He better have a two way conversation. The potential consequences could be serious if he doesn't.

I think moving her in was ill advised.

I think sleeping with her after moving her in was even more ill advised.

Now he's got a ticklish situation on his hands at best; a nightmare situation at worst.

All of his own construction. Brilliant.

He should demand sexual favors as a condition of her living with him. That's very fairm

 

[Murk]

Sure. If they weren't already living together.

But they are. So if he wants to have a hostile home environment...absolutely go your route.

His domecile situation could go extremely south. Extremely south. He could be accused of requiring sexual favors as a condition of her renting there. She is from a family with enough money to afford the lawyers to make his life hell.

So yeah. He better have a two way conversation. The potential consequences could be serious if he doesn't.

I think moving her in was ill advised.

I think sleeping with her after moving her in was even more ill advised.

Now he's got a ticklish situation on his hands at best; a nightmare situation at worst.

All of his own construction. Brilliant.

"Brilliant" yes it makes good reading, I prefer the term, "fvcked".

It's 23:30 here, I've been out drinking across the road with Kim who I'm rekindling something quite deep with I was seeing her for 2 months, 2 months ago (meeting up this weekend to go cinema, she cut me off because she wanted commitment, we agreed to part ways because I want there yet). Anyway house is empty, I came home, inspected her room out of drunken curiosity and just rolled and smoked half a spliff. Found Temazepam I quick google search; go ahead, I'll wait, reveals it treats insomnia so at least she's not a nutjob who will kill me in my sleep, but I should have been told about this previously imo.

I smashed my phone in the pub with Kim earler, my iphone graciously opened up like a notebook, horrifying stuff, I saw parts of an iphone you shouldn't see, it was like watching midget porn... or realizing your parents aren't smart as you. anyway, the phone's fvcked and I can't see or hear ****. This girl was meant to be home at 11ish for a chat and I've just spent 14 minutes typing (backspace click and deleting ((for a more coherent experience) this ****).

 

[Murk]

He should demand sexual favors as a condition of her living with him. That's very fairm

I suggested that today and was greeted with a "hm" I would screen shot and post but you know, my Iphone currently identifies as a
notebook now

 

[BeExcellent]

We disagree. Flip the script.

You can disagree all you want. He is still the landlord having sex with a tenant.

That is a power inequality that in the courts are well established as a sexual harassment context, just as a boss having sex with a subordinate.

The court won't care about PUA or "flipping the script".

Just have some sense here @Murkserious. I have seen tenants sue landlords and WIN under circumstances like yours.

Ranger and Soflobro clearly don't understand the legal liability you are exposed to. As a landlord myself I do. I never get involved with renters, employees, or subordinates. It is WAY too risky.

You're already involved obviously. It's a delicate situation, and you are emotionally involved as well.

Keep your cool whatever happens. I cannot believe some of the advice you have been given in this thread; so cavalier as to be dangerous to your financial well being.

All the Best - BE

 

[Murk]

You can disagree all you want. He is still the landlord having sex with a tenant.

That is a power inequality that in the courts are well established as a sexual harassment context, just as a boss having sex with a subordinate.

The court won't care about PUA or "flipping the script".

Just have some sense here @Murkserious. I have seen tenants sue landlords and WIN under circumstances like yours.

Ranger and Soflobro clearly don't understand the legal liability you are exposed to. As a landlord myself I do. I never get involved with renters, employees, or subordinates. It is WAY too risky.

You're already involved obviously. It's a delicate situation, and you are emotionally involved as well.

Keep your cool whatever happens. I cannot believe some of the advice you have been given in this thread; so cavalier as to be dangerous to your financial well being.

All the Best - BE

THANK YOU

I take with a pinch of salt, all my real life meaningful threads, because there are so many demons out there, I don't take on board all the rubbish. There are real posters here to speak to on PM.

 

[Ranger]

You can disagree all you want. He is still the landlord having sex with a tenant.

That is a power inequality that in the courts are well established as a sexual harassment context, just as a boss having sex with a subordinate.

The court won't care about PUA or "flipping the script".

Just have some sense here @Murkserious. I have seen tenants sue landlords and WIN under circumstances like yours.

Ranger and Soflobro clearly don't understand the legal liability you are exposed to. As a landlord myself I do. I never get involved with renters, employees, or subordinates. It is WAY too risky.

You're already involved obviously. It's a delicate situation, and you are emotionally involved as well.

Keep your cool whatever happens. I cannot believe some of the advice you have been given in this thread; so cavalier as to be dangerous to your financial well being.

All the Best - BE

It was not too long ago when I could read your posts and think I saw reasonable things. Well that was a problem.
You see, you come from a reality of social dynamics where all the psycho babble, all the feminine ideas of life and living are laced throughout your thought process. I had it to.
Of course I’m looking back from my new position. I believe in treating everyone good. That’s why I posted that he should be emotionless and strait forward. No harming of anyone need take place. Just state it right out and make sure you’re calmly and intelligently looking her in the eyes. If you waver....she will jump on it.

Now I can read your post and see gurl all through it. You see, I’m no longer part of your world. I can now see.
Yes he is just as responsible as her and to be honest more responsible. As a man, he can own it and rise above it. He can actually be stronger, more powerful and have even more dignity.
The things you are suggesting will keep him where he is. Squandering around and making mistakes because he doesn’t see your world for what it is yet.
You can’t even see it because to you it sounds so reasonable. He can come out of this with bigger balls than ever or he can wallow. If he has a debate, or some form of negotiating two way conversation....it will stick him. He can do this with dignity and courage. He is a man. He doesn’t need some communication where she can use her words to slam him covertly for falling for this. She knew exactly what she was doing. She WILL play the victim card. Not openly but in the ways of a social master. And you know this so don’t blow smoke up my arse.
If he has a two way conversation with her he will never stop dwelling and thinking on it.
It’s a girls meat and potatoes playground. He can’t win there. He will be silently eaten up from the inside.
You let him stand his ground, own up to it, and come out a better man.

 

[Ranger]

Behaving like a sap would be the best way to get her off his case lol. It's damage control.

I see the truth of it. Repel her almost instantly.
It’s just too undignified for me now.

 

[Spaz]

Just tell her you realized that, while you do find her attractive, you're not in the position to be monogamous right now, much less the mindframe to have a quality relationship, and you don't want to lead her on, and you are sorry if you did, and regret hurting her, if you did.

Tell her you want both of you to continue with "your independent social lives" for the remainder of her time at your place.

That's diplomatic and workable.

 

[Spaz]

Don't be surprised if she tries to take your inventory later. Just let her. Not worth the argument or the drama

I predict she will.

 

[Spaz]

Behaving like a sap would be the best way to get her off his case lol. It's damage control.

That's another good way.

Murk there you go, pretty good options to get out of this mess.

Choose 1.

 

[Ranger]

I need you Sorsha. I love you Sorsha. I dwell in darkness without you.
That would be hilarious.

 

[Spaz]

I need you Sorsha. I love you Sorsha. I dwell in darkness without you.
That would be hilarious.

Add a few tears and maybe some grovelling on the floor.

She'll run...and would feign ignorance of ever knowing him.

I would call this a slam dunk sure fire win !

 

[BeExcellent]

I need you Sorsha. I love you Sorsha. I dwell in darkness without you.
That would be hilarious.

I think the most sensible thing is what @sazc suggested. It's honest, it leaves him with the ability to go about his life, including being able to unapologetically bring other chicks home, and it makes things uncomfortable enough for her to be motivated to buy her own place & move out sooner rather than later. I just don't think he needs to be a jerk about it.

Women are utterly unpredictable at times. The sap approach could backfire a number of ways, none to his benefit unless he wants to LTR her.

 

[Spaz]

I think the most sensible thing is what @sazc suggested. It's honest, it leaves him with the ability to go about his life, including being able to unapologetically bring other chicks home, and it makes things uncomfortable enough for her to be motivated to buy her own place & move out sooner rather than later. I just don't think he needs to be a jerk about it.

Women are utterly unpredictable at times. The sap approach could backfire a number of ways, none to his benefit unless he wants to LTR her.

Impressive BE.

Keep on posting in this fashion, I'll not hv issues with you.