ok i finally met her for the last time, i'll do it the sosuave way from now on, FB?

[SchoolBoy]

i had a think about what you said and everything everyone else said and realised that i must probably be in denial and just want to see things the way i wanted, for my own sanity could you try to answer these following questions for me:

assuming you're all right and she was just leading me on all this time and was toying with me, was she conscious of this?

Yes and no. Women are conscious about leading the guy on, there's no doubt about that. They do it because they love the attention and drama. But the tactics they employ are subconscious. This explains why women are better at the game than men, it's because majority of them are naturals at it.

or was she as she 'says' 'didn't know what she wanted at the time and just wanted to meet to see how it went whether we'd be together or just be nothing' she then went on to say how she was upfront from the start..
bullsh1t! she never was upfront about it, i was, she was saying all this on the walk back.. why the hell is she doing this?

Don't try to understand the sh1t women say in literal terms. Most of the time they don't even know why they do certain things when it comes to dating. Ingrain this into your head: WOMEN THINK WITH THEIR EMOTIONS AND TEND TO BE HIGHLY ILLOGICAL. The problem is, you kept asking for answers from her. But the fact is, she probably doesn't even know the answer. So she just made up an excuse to give you an answer. But I'll translate it to you for 100th time: "I thought I could get to know you from the start and see where this goes. I was interested in you until you starting acting creepy, needy and totally AFC on me. I'm no longer attracted to you and I want us to be friends. But if you don't want me to be my friend, I still want to keep you around because you give me attention and make me feel special."

it's like she's tryna rationalise in her mind she never led me on and she's innocent in all of this.. i felt i should have said something cos i was so p1ssed off about this afterwards that i was led on.

Women ALWAYS try to rationalize to the point where it's not their fault for anything. She led you on, that's what most women do when they get used to your attention. But you shouldn't blame her for leading you on. There are no victims in the game, only volunteers. Nobody can lead you on without having your consent first. You gave your power away. Next time don't do that.

secondly, im so full of rage and vengeful hate right now about how she could treat someone like this who genuinely cared for her? i felt sorry for her in some respects of her life but now i just want to get back at her, yesterday i was still so into her now realising she must have led me on all this time makes me despise her.

Have you not read the DJ bible or learned anything from this site? It's not about how "nice" or "caring" you are. It's whether you make her WET or not. Get that into your brain. You're thinking with logic saying that if you care about her, she'll care about you. Sorry buddy but attraction doesn't work that way.

like u say judge her actions not words, prior to the kiss she was saying 'we're at a stage where we either move forward or part ways..' then we kiss.. she freaks out and says 'it was a stupid mistake, we wont be togther' again and again wtf does she mean we wont be together?? did she just meant that she never intended to kiss me and get serious like that?

Kissing doesn't mean anything's serious. Stop putting so much emphasis on the "kiss". Kissing someone doesn't mean sh1t. Hell even s3x doesn't mean much. When she says we won't be together, it means "I'm not sexually attracted to you."

it's like the text after was her regretting her decision then obviously i AFC'd up..

Maybe you should take our advice next time and stop being so stubborn and hard headed.

furthermore this above is explained by when i forced her to meet up and made the arrangement on monday she said 'its not fun anymore, it got all serious..' in other words as soon as this whole game toying with me got serious and she had to put up or shut up she freaked out and was just playing with me??

Well yes, you turned all serious and AFC. Women like to have fun, and not be serious all the time. It's okay to be serious at CERTAIN TIMES. But it's not okay to be all serious and repeatedly ask her questions regarding where you stand in her life. That's total AFC behavior. She freaked out because YOU FREAKED HER OUT.

this makes me so mad. so many things she did seemed as if she feigned interest, she'd give me a little bit more affection every date, kiss my face, kiss my neck, then next 1 lick my lips, but never kissed me till that 1.

was she really just playing with me this whole time and all these supposed IOI's were just feigned and she was just pacing herself?

At the beginning she probably had some interest in you. But as time went on, you let your AFC behaviors take over and lost her attraction.

she even said 'it was fine before we kissed, it was fine.' i was like what the hell?? what do u mean it was fine before we kissed? what did she mean??

She means she's not turned on by you sexually.

i understand girls are c0ckteases and just like the attention and ego boost, but i feel infuriated cos i really cared for her and now i cant stand the b1tch. under that cute innocent sweet smile she's an evil wh0re.

LOL yes now you're starting to get it. Women seem sweet and nice on the outside, but as soon as you let your guard down, they'll destroy you. This is why I do not trust women unless they prove to me through TIME and ACTIONS that she's worthy of it.

finally, unfortunately i met some of her close friends yesterday who she parties with and really like me and invited me to dinner at this restaurant (i want to eat at but dont know where it is..) with them next weekend, im suppose to forget her now but i couldn't bear seeing her with some other guy or flirting with some other guy, should i just bring a hot girl to dinner and ignore her the whole night?

I'll tell you what you SHOULD do but I doubt you'll listen to me. You should stop worrying about her and stop trying to manipulate her. Bringing a hot chick for the sake of making her jealous is total AFC behavior. If you continue acting like an AFC you will never become a proper DJ. The key is "indifference"! I've said it time and time again. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER. WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF because that's all that matters. If you don't feel as though you can handle seeing her with someone else. Then Don't go! or cut her out of your life. We are only hurt by the things we allow to hurt us. Women only have power over us if we allow them to. Do you understand?

I really hope you learn something from what I'm saying. Get it through that stubborn hard head of yours and take the advise that's given to you.

 

[drift king]

I really hope you learn something from what I'm saying. Get it through that stubborn hard head of yours and take the advise that's given to you.

yes i'm finally starting to get it and listen cos im clearly too stubborn to follow through.

however, is the fact she wasn't sexually attracted to me was cos i failed the kiss test? is it bullsh1t the saying that women judge everything from the 1st kiss?

i'm frustrated cos i felt if i regressed back going back to the same scenario i dont know how i would create anymore attraction, before i acted afc i mean.. did i need to focus more on rapport building rather than initial attraction?

i had her in hysterics all the time, i was c+f i negged her, i kino'd maybe too much.. she did say i was too 'pushy' so maybe i should have focused more on rapport building to make her feel i wasn't just after 1 thing through my actons to make her feel more comfortable.

it feels so weird how i have to use all these psychological tactics like making myself scarce, seem less desperate, not responding to her texts so soon to trick her into getting an emotional response of attraction by her missing me etc it seems very contrived this aspect i mean? not the talking in person, just the stuff u do after the date/outside the date.. does this mean all attraction based on this is faked and man made?

right now i'm sad cos i dont know what i could have done differently prior to the crazy AFC meltdown. do you have any suggestions what i could have done to have made her more sexually attracted to me in the earlier stages when she had attraction?

i know inner game is important cos it'll just shine through as a relaxed confidence where u dont care whether u have her or not and she'll sense that and want u.

i have anxiety issues where i cant deal with uncertainty couple that with my impatience u can see where all my afc crap comes from. my stubbornness relates to the fact im a little narcissitic where i think im awesome but then i keep over-analysing things which makes me raise questions which makes me doubt myself or things that have happen even tho i have no reason to believe that. this is my number 1 problem, i've seen a therapist to help with the anxiety issues and need for certainty. for instance i needed to know sooner rather than later whether this girl liked me so i could finally relax and be myself.

all my relationships in my life have been either non existent as i'd never get past the pick up stage or i'd bang them and it'd be over, i always struggle with the 1st month, once i actually am with them surprisingly everything seems to go so well, i think cracks will definitely appear if i got into a long term relationship but this 1st month i struggle with cos all the uncertainty is at its highest. does this make sense at all to you? it's not inner game issues so to speak cos it affects all areas of my life where i cant deal with uncertainty.

also, is it bad that her attraction for me was building slowly rather than superfast date after date, is it just sometimes like that?

final question: a lot of guys complain about how this girl did this and that to them, put them through tests etc which they failed, and usually the responses are 'she's not worth it..' etc etc.. is the fact of the matter is had you not acted afc then she wouldn't have put u through as many tests and she actually is worth it but u just weren't man enough for her?

i know u are suppose to avoid attention wh0res.. which i assume this 1 might have been? she doesn't dress of behaviour like a typical attention wh0re she seems almost shyish but shes very private about her private life (clearly a way to keep all the guys hidden and has something to hide) her behaviour sometimes is suspicious, people hate her, girls don't like her, she's by herself a lot of the time (makes her target for pick up) pretends her coffee meetings with guys are just friends.

the worst part: towards the end of our last meeting 2 days ago she had the audacity to say that me and her were not or ever dating! wtf!!??

i was like 'are u f-ing kidding me?' what the hell caused her to say this bullsh1t?

i called her out on it saying.. 'of course we were.. u licked my face unless u lick the faces of all the guys u go for coffee with..' she knew she was caught out there but in her mind it's like shes trying to convince herself that me and her never dated when she looks back on this in future or tells anyone about it..

is that why she kept telling me to 'forget' the night we kissed and the aftermath, she even got angry i kept bringing it up. i was angry too cos it's like 'u can pretend it never happened, but it did and it always will be there..'

is she trying to convince herself it never happened and we were only ever friends?

 

[Asasione]

Get a better therapist! Stop wasting everyone's time here with threads about this girl. People who don't listen can't be helped,

 

[SchoolBoy]

yes i'm finally starting to get it and listen cos im clearly too stubborn to follow through.

however, is the fact she wasn't sexually attracted to me was cos i failed the kiss test? is it bullsh1t the saying that women judge everything from the 1st kiss?

i'm frustrated cos i felt if i regressed back going back to the same scenario i dont know how i would create anymore attraction, before i acted afc i mean.. did i need to focus more on rapport building rather than initial attraction?

i had her in hysterics all the time, i was c+f i negged her, i kino'd maybe too much.. she did say i was too 'pushy' so maybe i should have focused more on rapport building to make her feel i wasn't just after 1 thing through my actons to make her feel more comfortable.

it feels so weird how i have to use all these psychological tactics like making myself scarce, seem less desperate, not responding to her texts so soon to trick her into getting an emotional response of attraction by her missing me etc it seems very contrived this aspect i mean? not the talking in person, just the stuff u do after the date/outside the date.. does this mean all attraction based on this is faked and man made?

right now i'm sad cos i dont know what i could have done differently prior to the crazy AFC meltdown. do you have any suggestions what i could have done to have made her more sexually attracted to me in the earlier stages when she had attraction?

i know inner game is important cos it'll just shine through as a relaxed confidence where u dont care whether u have her or not and she'll sense that and want u.

i have anxiety issues where i cant deal with uncertainty couple that with my impatience u can see where all my afc crap comes from. my stubbornness relates to the fact im a little narcissitic where i think im awesome but then i keep over-analysing things which makes me raise questions which makes me doubt myself or things that have happen even tho i have no reason to believe that. this is my number 1 problem, i've seen a therapist to help with the anxiety issues and need for certainty. for instance i needed to know sooner rather than later whether this girl liked me so i could finally relax and be myself.

all my relationships in my life have been either non existent as i'd never get past the pick up stage or i'd bang them and it'd be over, i always struggle with the 1st month, once i actually am with them surprisingly everything seems to go so well, i think cracks will definitely appear if i got into a long term relationship but this 1st month i struggle with cos all the uncertainty is at its highest. does this make sense at all to you? it's not inner game issues so to speak cos it affects all areas of my life where i cant deal with uncertainty.

also, is it bad that her attraction for me was building slowly rather than superfast date after date, is it just sometimes like that?

final question: a lot of guys complain about how this girl did this and that to them, put them through tests etc which they failed, and usually the responses are 'she's not worth it..' etc etc.. is the fact of the matter is had you not acted afc then she wouldn't have put u through as many tests and she actually is worth it but u just weren't man enough for her?

i know u are suppose to avoid attention wh0res.. which i assume this 1 might have been? she doesn't dress of behaviour like a typical attention wh0re she seems almost shyish but shes very private about her private life (clearly a way to keep all the guys hidden and has something to hide) her behaviour sometimes is suspicious, people hate her, girls don't like her, she's by herself a lot of the time (makes her target for pick up) pretends her coffee meetings with guys are just friends.

the worst part: towards the end of our last meeting 2 days ago she had the audacity to say that me and her were not or ever dating! wtf!!??

i was like 'are u f-ing kidding me?' what the hell caused her to say this bullsh1t?

i called her out on it saying.. 'of course we were.. u licked my face unless u lick the faces of all the guys u go for coffee with..' she knew she was caught out there but in her mind it's like shes trying to convince herself that me and her never dated when she looks back on this in future or tells anyone about it..

is that why she kept telling me to 'forget' the night we kissed and the aftermath, she even got angry i kept bringing it up. i was angry too cos it's like 'u can pretend it never happened, but it did and it always will be there..'

is she trying to convince herself it never happened and we were only ever friends?

Quit thinking about the situation. It's time to move on. Stop worrying about what if's.

The answer to all your questions are: YOU ACTED AFC AND GOT THE BOOT.. it happens deal with it.. MOVE ON

I'm not spending anymore time if you don't get it by now. You'll never get it.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

yes i'm finally starting to get it and listen cos im clearly too stubborn to follow through.

Read your whole post, and you aren't starting to get it. Keep reading, or better yet, have you not read what the fellows posted in the past few hours?

however, is the fact she wasn't sexually attracted to me was cos i failed the kiss test? is it bullsh1t the saying that women judge everything from the 1st kiss?

No. It was because you failed the AFC test with all your bizarre, needy, wussy, clingy, annoying ways. The kiss had nothing to do with it. Irrelevant.

i'm frustrated cos i felt if i regressed back going back to the same scenario i dont know how i would create anymore attraction, before i acted afc i mean.. did i need to focus more on rapport building rather than initial attraction?

You need to focus on getting rid of all that AFC, unattractive behavior you exhibit. Forget about what you need to do. You need to focus on everything that is getting in your way, FIRST thing.

i had her in hysterics all the time, i was c+f i negged her, i kino'd maybe too much.. she did say i was too 'pushy' so maybe i should have focused more on rapport building to make her feel i wasn't just after 1 thing through my actons to make her feel more comfortable.

This is the stuff you need to focus on. You better make sure you don't repeat the same stuff next time. Focus on this kind of stuff, NOT the kiss.

Damn right you "kino'd" her too much. You creeped her out.

it feels so weird how i have to use all these psychological tactics like making myself scarce, seem less desperate, not responding to her texts so soon to trick her into getting an emotional response of attraction by her missing me etc it seems very contrived this aspect i mean? not the talking in person, just the stuff u do after the date/outside the date.. does this mean all attraction based on this is faked and man made?

No, it is not fake. You are just not aware of the realities of this game. If you want to play on a semi even field, you best learn and apply the rules.

Wouldn't it be great it they would just jump on your c0ck without you having to do anything? Just be your creepy self and they should all flock to you.

What you were doing was just plain needy and creepy, not just from a woman stand point. Haven't you listened to what people told you here. We all thought you were creepy and very disturbed. The natural thing is TO NOT DO WHAT YOU DID. What you do/did is fake a$s stuff you do to manipulate. That is not the real you. Unless you do all that suplicating and behave that way with your male friends too.

right now i'm sad cos i dont know what i could have done differently prior to the crazy AFC meltdown. do you have any suggestions what i could have done to have made her more sexually attracted to me in the earlier stages when she had attraction?

STOP DOING all the creepy things we have pointed out to you. Simple.

Neither of us was there to know, but learning what to and not do takes time. It is situations like yours that will help you learn and get some life experience. Hard knocks, pal!

i know inner game is important cos it'll just shine through as a relaxed confidence where u dont care whether u have her or not and she'll sense that and want u.

Get to work on that.

i have anxiety issues where i cant deal with uncertainty couple that with my impatience u can see where all my afc crap comes from. my stubbornness relates to the fact im a little narcissitic where i think im awesome but then i keep over-analysing things which makes me raise questions which makes me doubt myself or things that have happen even tho i have no reason to believe that. this is my number 1 problem, i've seen a therapist to help with the anxiety issues and need for certainty. for instance i needed to know sooner rather than later whether this girl liked me so i could finally relax and be myself.

That's not how this whole dating/sex game works. This game has been rigged against men. Don't worry about the way things should be, concern yourself with the way they are and make adjustments.

all my relationships in my life have been either non existent as i'd never get past the pick up stage or i'd bang them and it'd be over, i always struggle with the 1st month, once i actually am with them surprisingly everything seems to go so well, i think cracks will definitely appear if i got into a long term relationship but this 1st month i struggle with cos all the uncertainty is at its highest. does this make sense at all to you? it's not inner game issues so to speak cos it affects all areas of my life where i cant deal with uncertainty.

INNER GAME.
You need so much certainty. You are a control freak.

also, is it bad that her attraction for me was building slowly rather than superfast date after date, is it just sometimes like that?

Let me be bold here. Her attraction for you was not building slowly. It was decreasing slowly, if not quickly after each time she spent time with you. Why? She smelled your AFC reakness.

final question: a lot of guys complain about how this girl did this and that to them, put them through tests etc which they failed, and usually the responses are 'she's not worth it..' etc etc.. is the fact of the matter is had you not acted afc then she wouldn't have put u through as many tests and she actually is worth it but u just weren't man enough for her?

You sir, are correct, FINALLY. MOST guys who say that, "she's not worth it" "next her", either say it because the situation is not reparable, meaning, the poster is not skilled to fix it;or if they always say that, the see it is a lost cause and/or don't quite know how to advice to get it repaired.

It is a "the rich will get richer; the poor will get poorer" mentality and reality. Once you avoid all that AFC behavior and know what you are doing, you will rarely get $hit tested, and if you do, you put her in her place, and she'll know better than to feel the need to test you that way.

i know u are suppose to avoid attention wh0res.. which i assume this 1 might have been? she doesn't dress of behaviour like a typical attention wh0re she seems almost shyish but shes very private about her private life (clearly a way to keep all the guys hidden and has something to hide) her behaviour sometimes is suspicious, people hate her, girls don't like her, she's by herself a lot of the time (makes her target for pick up) pretends her coffee meetings with guys are just friends.

She was/is not an attention *****. Stop projecting. This one's on you. It was YOU and YOU ALONE who was responsible for what happened. Stop pointing fingers, it will only keep you in denial and delay your progress.

You don't know what she's thinking. Stop saying she pretends, she is this or that. $hit, you don't even know and understand yourself, much less anyone else.

the worst part: towards the end of our last meeting 2 days ago she had the audacity to say that me and her were not or ever dating! wtf!!??

i was like 'are u f-ing kidding me?' what the hell caused her to say this bullsh1t?

You little putz. Have you not read what anybody pointed out to you. KISSING does not equal "dating". I feel so bad for this girl. Nobody deserves to be put through this. Had this been my friend, I would have adviced her to run away, not walk away. I told you that already, but I'm sure you don't even listen to most of what everyone is telling you here. GO AND READ THE POSTS FROM THE PAST FEW HOURS. You're going in circles in an attempt to protect your fragile EGO.

i called her out on it saying.. 'of course we were.. u licked my face unless u lick the faces of all the guys u go for coffee with..' she knew she was caught out there but in her mind it's like shes trying to convince herself that me and her never dated when she looks back on this in future or tells anyone about it..

No. She realized how delusional you are and realized she needed to eradicate you from her life, PRONTO! Stop "calling out" people when you are so out of touch. That is insulting and will always create resentment to the people you talk to that way.

I bet she wishes, and she told you, she had never even gone out with you. There was a reason she regretted kissing you. GO AND READ THE OTHER POSTS FROM THE FELLOWS REGARDING THE "KISS".

is that why she kept telling me to 'forget' the night we kissed and the aftermath, she even got angry i kept bringing it up. i was angry too cos it's like 'u can pretend it never happened, but it did and it always will be there..'

YES, she regretted it and wished it hadn't happen. Ok, you left your permanent imprint with your kiss. Does that satisfy your ego. She changed her mind about you. Have you ever changed your opinion of somebody or something?

is she trying to convince herself it never happened and we were only ever friends?

No. She knows it happened, and knows what a stubborn and persistent, pain in the a$s, clingy dude you are, so she was wishing she could take it back; you off course, cling to that irrelevant kiss to support and justify your FATAL ATTRACTION on.

Memo: You and her were not lovers. Not bf/gf, not even friends. You were casual aquaintances who happened to go out. She didn't like something she saw and exercised her right to not pursue anything romantic with you. She got this memo; you didn't apparently. So here it is. You're welcome.

All the answers are already in this thread. Pay attention.

 

[SchoolBoy]

Agreed with Gangster Of Love.