ok i finally met her for the last time, i'll do it the sosuave way from now on, FB?

[Eternal87]

look this is all well and good you telling me she wasn't into me.. then explain to me precisely WHY that 2 weeks ago, we kissed, she stops and says it was a stupid mistake and we wont' be together again and again and says she didnt want to see me again.

then 1 hour later texts me 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss u.'

granted the alcohol that night left her tipsy so if she had changed her mind by the next day i would know it was just the alcoholl.. HAD we actually met up the next night the 1st thing we would have done was kissed intimately.

we didn't meet up not cos she didn't want to, but when she came back saying to make it later in the evening i offered a few days later instead, rather than later that night. that was my mistake. i should have met up with her that next day no matter what.

PLEASE explain to me why at that very point that girl was not interested in me (i'm not talking about right now i'm talking about back then) if the 1st thing we would have done would be to kiss properly. does that sound like a girl who's not interested and never was??

EXPLAIN THIS TO ME PLEASE.

I agree with everything else you have said but this 1 issue still sticks with me.

This is Schoolboy,

At the very beginning she wanted to get to know you and gave you a chance to see if you're a real DJ.

She kissed you because she saw potential.

Ever since you started showing your AFC behaviors, she's been playing you.

At that point you should have listened and stopped contacting her.

But you instead decided to follow your AFC emotions and dig yourself into a deeper hole.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I understand that she probably was just using me for attention especially that's what she feels now but read my post above about us kissing and that whole scenario.

Obviously you don't have enough experience with women/girls to know not to put so much stock on a kiss, get together or date. Just because you kissed her, doesn't mean much. It was just a kiss, which you impossed yourself on her, as I recall. Didn't she reject your kissing attemps before? Once she didn't want to kiss you, that should have told you more than the time you actually landed your kiss. You were told here that she wasn't interested in you.

Call it attention or whatever, but I know that sometimes I kiss women who I later loose interest in, and it has nothing to do with attention. I just know when to let it go and it doesn't mean that I was head over heals for them. I don't put too much importance on a kiss or at a failed attempt. Simple enough.

im not saying i wouldn't be in the same position i am in now, but had i actually met up with her the next night where things were still fresh and the sexual tension was still there it might be a very different story now.

Who cares? Is your ego that fragile that you need the validation of her at least really being into you initially? You are not paying attention to me. She was mildly interested, initially, then she wasn't. She most likely smelled your neediness and insecurities. Maybe she likes somebody else. Maybe she wants to enjoy her single life. Whatever. Who cares! You let her questionable attraction towards you go stale.

are you saying that night we kissed, then she pushes me away saying we wont be together and it was a stupid mistake and her not wanting to see me again.. then texting me 1 hour later saying 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss u' is that not an indicator she was actually into me finally at some point??

If that's what she actually did, and said, that is further proof that she wasn't into you by that point. Sounds more like she was just saying it to calm you down and let you down easily. She didn't want to kiss you, so what she said meant: "Hey, do you actually still want to hang out with me even though I only want to be friends with you?", that's when you needed to exit with dignity. You didn't.

All along, she kept realizing how clingy you are, so yes, things can change from one minute to another, literally.

i just dont agree with this whole notion she never was interested me at all to the extent where she saw me as bf material.

EGO. She might have entertained the thought, but it was just too early even for that. By the time she's not feeling you and doesn't want to kiss you, you are out, she is no longer interested, she knows enough to know that. Off course, she is not about to come out and say it straight out, so she plays games.

all i know and im resolute in this that had i saw her that very next night we would have been making out most of that night cos i felt i finally reached the point where interest in each other was almost on par.. the events that occurred after that destroyed everything but at that very moment had i actually made it happen then i wouldn't be in this mess now.

You would have just messed it up that much sooner. Sorry bud, you are too caught on in this EGO trip. If that helps you cope, then so be it, but why is it even important to dwell on the "Could haves", "would haves" and "should haves".

i think it was as pivotal defining moment.

If you had actually had gotten anything worthy started with her, then you could try to find a "pivotal moment". That "povotal moment" happen somewhere between when you first met, and when you first tried to kiss her. The following weeks just confirmed her suspicions .

i knew she was coming back late from a prior engagement, i could have just told her to meet me at 9.30pm seeing as she was running late rather than offering sunday. she definitely would have met up with me no flaking no nothing. im 100% sure of it.

Could have, should have, would have. A woman will go to great lenghts to go out of her way and accomodate you and will let No one, NObody, or anything get in her way of a potential good thing, if she's really into you.

is this still a girl at that very moment was still pllaying me and never interested??

Still a girl who has very low interest that is sinking faster than the Titanic. No more, no less.

i'd understand that say after she sent that text and the next morning regretted it and didn't agree to meet up the next night then it was just the alcohol.

By this point she is really loosing respect. Whereas before she didn't really care, at this point she is fidning out what an AFC you really are.

i will definitely encounter situations like this again in future and i felt when i received that text from her asking me to if we could make it later that day it was a pivotal moment and i was so stressed out by the night before i didnt know whether to choose sunday or just see her that night.

AFC. Putting too much stock on a single interaction. You had way too much invested on something that never was and was clearly apparent wasn't going anywhere, from her point of view.

now i know now that in future always deal with the issue and tension straight away while it's fresh otherwise i'll have the scenario i have now which is just dire.

Sounds like in the future you will blow things out of proporting right from the start and creep them out. STOP THAT. In the future don't be so damn clingy, pushy, and needy.

Look pal, you just kissed her, and she reluctantly kissed you back and soon after, pretty much told you she wasn't interested, due to your demeanor or whatever the reason. That is no big deal. A kiss doesn't mean that much. If you think it does, you are not ready to be dating.

You had NOTHING going with her. Well, maybe you did, but only in your head.

You might need a few weeks/months to stay in denial before you are ready to move on.

 

[ENIGMA16]

Does this thread remind anyone else of that episode of the Simpsons where Bart thinks he's going out with that girl that kissed him?

 

[drift king]

Obviously you don't have enough experience with women/girls to know not to put so much stock on a kiss, get together or date. Just because you kissed her, doesn't mean much. It was just a kiss, which you impossed yourself on her, as I recall. Didn't she reject your kissing attemps before? Once she didn't want to kiss you, that should have told you more than the time you actually landed your kiss. You were told here that she wasn't interested in you.

Call it attention or whatever, but I know that sometimes I kiss women who I later loose interest in, and it has nothing to do with attention. I just know when to let it go and it doesn't mean that I was head over heals for them. I don't put too much importance on a kiss or at a failed attempt. Simple enough.



Who cares? Is your ego that fragile that you need the validation of her at least really being into you initially? You are not paying attention to me. She was mildly interested, initially, then she wasn't. She most likely smelled your neediness and insecurities. Maybe she likes somebody else. Maybe she wants to enjoy her single life. Whatever. Who cares! You let her questionable attraction towards you go stale.



If that's what she actually did, and said, that is further proof that she wasn't into you by that point. Sounds more like she was just saying it to calm you down and let you down easily. She didn't want to kiss you, so what she said meant: "Hey, do you actually still want to hang out with me even though I only want to be friends with you?", that's when you needed to exit with dignity. You didn't.

All along, she kept realizing how clingy you are, so yes, things can change from one minute to another, literally.



EGO. She might have entertained the thought, but it was just too early even for that. By the time she's not feeling you and doesn't want to kiss you, you are out, she is no longer interested, she knows enough to know that. Off course, she is not about to come out and say it straight out, so she plays games.



You would have just messed it up that much sooner. Sorry bud, you are too caught on in this EGO trip. If that helps you cope, then so be it, but why is it even important to dwell on the "Could haves", "would haves" and "should haves".



If you had actually had gotten anything worthy started with her, then you could try to find a "pivotal moment". That "povotal moment" happen somewhere between when you first met, and when you first tried to kiss her. The following weeks just confirmed her suspicions .



Could have, should have, would have. A woman will go to great lenghts to go out of her way and accomodate you and will let No one, NObody, or anything get in her way of a potential good thing, if she's really into you.



Still a girl who has very low interest that is sinking faster than the Titanic. No more, no less.



By this point she is really loosing respect. Whereas before she didn't really care, at this point she is fidning out what an AFC you really are.



AFC. Putting too much stock on a single interaction. You had way too much invested on something that never was and was clearly apparent wasn't going anywhere, from her point of view.



Sounds like in the future you will blow things out of proporting right from the start and creep them out. STOP THAT. In the future don't be so damn clingy, pushy, and needy.

Look pal, you just kissed her, and she reluctantly kissed you back and soon after, pretty much told you she wasn't interested, due to your demeanor or whatever the reason. That is no big deal. A kiss doesn't mean that much. If you think it does, you are not ready to be dating.

You had NOTHING going with her. Well, maybe you did, but only in your head.

You might need a few weeks/months to stay in denial before you are ready to move on.

well the kiss didnt necessarily flow like that, i was sitting back she was leaning in i negged her about something then i went for it then she pulled me in andshe went back, maybe she kissed out of vulnerability i dont know. but we kissed twice then she freaked out.

i think i see what you're saying but i dont know why the b1tch told me she still wanted to kiss me in the text later if she thinks shes letting me down easy.. she's just leading me on! pulling me 1 way than another.

i agree with what you're saying about how if she's really into u then nothing will stop her from seeing u even if u offer 2 times, i offered later that night or sunday. she chose sunday.

she originally came up with sunday i refused saying i wanted to see her that night and rejected her offer of the next day saturday cos i was busy.

it's so strange cos so many things would indicate signs of interest, on the day after she texts me at 10pm at night asking what im doing.

all these things seem to contradict the rules about high interest.. i thought girls only text u out of the blue cos they're interested not cos they're testing your response.

it infuriates me now how i got treated if what u say is true. but i dont understand.. how is her texting me 'i still want to kiss u' a way to let me down easy?

i felt as if had i met her the next night and just kissed her i would have been more relaxed cos i'd have felt that i'd finally made progress that was lacking previous 2 weeks. obviously i f'd it up completely after that and she's a b1tch for putting me through these bullsh1t tests.

 

[drift king]

This is Schoolboy,

At the very beginning she wanted to get to know you and gave you a chance to see if you're a real DJ.

She kissed you because she saw potential.

Ever since you started showing your AFC behaviors, she's been playing you.

At that point you should have listened and stopped contacting her.

But you instead decided to follow your AFC emotions and dig yourself into a deeper hole.

at that time i didnt' know what to do.. i kissed her, she freaked out then she texts me that she stil wants to meet me the next night and still kiss me.

i was confused as hell at that point. i felt it was a test so i posted on here to get a response. i should have walked then is what u suggested?

im bound to encounter a situation like this in future so its better i know now what i should have done otherwise i'll keep making the same mistake and i dont want to follow it up by following the same route i took after this.

i shouldn't even need to be posting about how i got angry at her etc.. i should have walked away then and not replied when she said 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss u..'

should i have just ignored it completely?

i jumped at the opportunity which showed my desperation rather than respecting myself.

if she didnt follow up then she never was interested then?

 

[Eternal87]

at that time i didnt' know what to do.. i kissed her, she freaked out then she texts me that she stil wants to meet me the next night and still kiss me.

i was confused as hell at that point. i felt it was a test so i posted on here to get a response. i should have walked then is what u suggested?

im bound to encounter a situation like this in future so its better i know now what i should have done otherwise i'll keep making the same mistake and i dont want to follow it up by following the same route i took after this.

i shouldn't even need to be posting about how i got angry at her etc.. i should have walked away then and not replied when she said 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss u..'

should i have just ignored it completely?

i jumped at the opportunity which showed my desperation rather than respecting myself.

if she didnt follow up then she never was interested then?

You know why you're confused? Because woman are naturally good at playing games. They send mixed messages, that's what they do!

It's time to put this to rest. If you respect yourself, you'll stop obsessing over what you did wrong and move on.

Go improve your life so that you're not so dependent on women to make you happy.

 

[drift king]

You know why you're confused? Because woman are naturally good at playing games. They send mixed messages, that's what they do!

It's time to put this to rest. If you respect yourself, you'll stop obsessing over what you did wrong and move on.

Go improve your life so that you're not so dependent on women to make you happy.

i hear what you're saying. but i feel i need to clear some things up before i put this to rest.

i dont understand why it took so long for us to kiss, obviously its cos her IL was low and i was too pushy.. should there be a time limit on by when i should have kissed her by?

also if im being so pushy which i dont think i was in regards to wanting to kiss her.. but obviously im not doing something right when im with her thats making her feel as if im only after that or waiting for that. how do i build rapport?

i seem to encounter this alot during dating after 3rd or 4th dates if i haven't banged them already. how does one build this rapport so that she feels closer to you?

something i must note yesterday when it was over was when she said 'i thought u were like me and liked spending time with me.. but u dont even want to be friends with me and only interested in more..' i was like 'i am interested in u ' and 'whoa wait a sec i told u from the start what i was interested in..' she acts as if i was only after 1 thing with her and never really liked her.. why is she doing this or jumping to this conclusion?

also when i said 'well we could try to be friends my female friends suggested i should try it..' then she gets nervy and is like 'wait so you've been telling all your friends about my private life??' i was like 'its my private life too..'

there seem to be a loss of trust completely after that, thats when she told me to leave and not walk her back to her dorms. and didn't even want to be friends after that!! why did she react that way?

 

[Eternal87]

i hear what you're saying. but i feel i need to clear some things up before i put this to rest.

i dont understand why it took so long for us to kiss, obviously its cos her IL was low and i was too pushy.. should there be a time limit on by when i should have kissed her by?

The only time limits are the ones you make for yourself.

also if im being so pushy which i dont think i was in regards to wanting to kiss her.. but obviously im not doing something right when im with her thats making her feel as if im only after that or waiting for that. how do i build rapport?

Kissing someone does not build rapport, it builds sexual tension. You build rapport over conversations and hanging out.

i seem to encounter this alot during dating after 3rd or 4th dates if i haven't banged them already. how does one build this rapport so that she feels closer to you?

By getting to know her, listen when she speaks and respond accordingly.

something i must note yesterday when it was over was when she said 'i thought u were like me and liked spending time with me.. but u dont even want to be friends with me and only interested in more..' i was like 'i am interested in u ' and 'whoa wait a sec i told u from the start what i was interested in..' she acts as if i was only after 1 thing with her and never really liked her.. why is she doing this or jumping to this conclusion?

She's jumping to conclusions because you directly said you can't only be friends with her. Your giving her an ultimatum saying if she's not going to be sexually interested in you, you want nothing to do with her.

also when i said 'well we could try to be friends my female friends suggested i should try it..' then she gets nervy and is like 'wait so you've been telling all your friends about my private life??' i was like 'its my private life too..'

there seem to be a loss of trust completely after that, thats when she told me to leave and not walk her back to her dorms. and didn't even want to be friends after that!! why did she react that way?

She's reacting this way because women don't like it when people talk behind their backs especially to other women.

Hope that cleared some things up.

 

[drift king]

Hope that cleared some things up.

yeah thanks.

1 last thing, you said in your last message that women dont like ultimatums that if i wasnt going to be sexually interested in her i wanted nothing to do with her.

i told her from the beginning that i was interested in dating to her in order to avoid being friend zoned she so many times put guys in and was wary she'd do the same thing. she asked me if we could be friends during the date i said jokingly 'for 1 week..'

if i didnt build rapport with her very well where she trusted me, should i have been friends with her for a little bit to regain the trust?

i just dont understand her jumping to that conclusion even though i was upfront about my intentions.. i dont want to be friend zoned so i never accepted friendship. should i have??

her dad died when she was 8 and im starting to see some issues she has from that, like when i asked about her friends, she tells me that she has no friends from growing up they went their own separate ways, or she had experiences where she had no friends.. i dont know if these are red flags or whatnot but i know she has lots of male friends.. a lot of suspcious male friends too.. probably ones that are banging her.. but is it likely she has abandonment issues and is afraid of having people come close to her as they may abandon her?

im just trying to figure out where i went wrong in the earlier stages when trying to build rapport with her before i AFC'd up.

it's over now i have to accept that, but i must note that i didn't do a very good job during the rapport building stage where she felt she could trust me, me being 'pushy' as she says must have told her that i was only interested in s3x despite what i said.

maybe a year from now i can try again but i need to work on myself improving my mistakes. most people dont try to come back after it's over. is it pointless trying again after 1 year, will the mistakes i made towards the end still be there and manifest itself even if i've improved myself?

before her i just wanted to bang girl after girl not caring for a relationship cos i never found a girl i liked her personality enough to chill with. she was different but her behaviour was awful but that's synonmous with low IL rather than her being the problem itself in many ways. i failed the sh1t tests. the ironic thing is that had we got together i think me and her would be really close, cos my ex during the summer fell for me and i only really got her cos the fact it was a summer thing so we had to move quicker.. the pace was to my advantage rather than a hindrance like it is now.

 

[Eternal87]

yeah thanks.

1 last thing, you said in your last message that women dont like ultimatums that if i wasnt going to be sexually interested in her i wanted nothing to do with her.

i told her from the beginning that i was interested in dating to her in order to avoid being friend zoned she so many times put guys in and was wary she'd do the same thing. she asked me if we could be friends during the date i said jokingly 'for 1 week..'

if i didnt build rapport with her very well where she trusted me, should i have been friends with her for a little bit to regain the trust?

i just dont understand her jumping to that conclusion even though i was upfront about my intentions.. i dont want to be friend zoned so i never accepted friendship. should i have??

Your actions determine whether you get friendzoned or not. It's good that you didn't "accept" friendship. But it shouldn't be something that's verbally said. You can show that you aren't friend by your actions.

I see the whole asking you to be friends as a sh1t test in order to snatch the frame from you. And in this case it worked.

I personally would've agreed and amplified when she asked to be friends by saying "I agree.. you would make a good friend, you're not my type anyways." to take the frame back.

Live and learn from your experiences. I have to say that your major downfall is that your lacking inner game. You understand the techniques taught all over SS but without an inner frame to back it up, it won't work because your AFC behaviors will eventually show itself.

 

[BlackJackal]

the thing is it was pretty clear i was going to go through with seeing her yesterday cos i wanted to salvage what potentially would be the last chance i had cos i felt i could turn things around with her. i had the opportunity, she was very friendly much more than i expected and i didnt capitalize on that i just assumed that cos she was b1tchy a few days ago she'd be like this in general hence i didn't listen to what she wanted and go just for coffee and insisted on going bowling.

was she just using that as an excuse about how i dont listen to her to end things with me? it seems rather convenient.

she's the youngest of 3 kids all sisters and in the past told me she had a lack of attention from her parents, her dad died when she was 8 so it was a single parent household. it made me think that maybe me not listening to her reminds her of her bad childhood and lack of attention and people not listening to her cos her older sisters would scream louder.

i want to be able to learn from my mistakes from her cos despite everything i could have turned it around, she was friendly, ok we had a time constraint but we went over it by about 1 hour (it was suppose to be a 1 hour date) but i couldn't let some things go.

also i didn't like how she was rationalising in her mind that we never 'dated' i was like ??? 'so do u go out with loads of guys like this..?' she goes 'yeah all the time..' i go 'and kiss their faces and lick their lips? ' that caught her out there but in her mind i dont like how she made herself believe we never dated and the kiss was just a mistake 2 weeks ago.

this frustrates me after all the effort i put in. i felt like saying straight to her 'it doesn't matter if u pretend we weren't dating, we were. believe what u want to believe the facts dont lie.' i know it's totally unnecessary but i dont like how if she tells other people about me, it'll be like 'oh he's just a friend'

even with the paying at the end, as she tried to force to pay for the coffee, i insisted on paying.. and then i stopped her from paying. then she got annoyed, and this was after the whole 'u dont listen to me that annoys me the most' speech.

so i tried changing and when the waitress came back with the change i gave it to her and she gave me a $20 bill like i gave to to the waitress. i said to her.. 'u pay cos u want to backwards rationalise in your mind that it's not a date, but it clearly is regardless..' she says 'oh you're thinking too much..' then i said something along the line of 'no im not it is like that.' i cant remember if she got annoyed again but i still felt it was a stunt to disarm me.

i had to learn the hard way and should have listened to sosuave advice. despite her being in such a great mood and friendly towards me, was yesterday really not salvageable from my viewpoint?

everyone was saying she didnt want to be there and she was forced, which she was but she was very pleasant and friendly like she was giving me 1 last shot i think she said her friends said she was stupid coming out to see me 1 last time also. maybe she used it as a way to reaffirm in her mind that she moved on and made the right decision.

her telling me to back off and do nothing and didn't want to see me anymore alarmed me after a good time we had, so strange she was all so friendly.. then suddenly leaves me with the bombshell that she doesnt want to see me at all in any form, tho i told her numerous times we couldnt be friends.

now she goes away with this stupid thought that i was pretending this whole time to like her as a person by saying 'all this time i thought u were like me and enjoyed being around me as a person like i like u but u dont even want to be friends..'

and retorted back 'what do u mean? i been telling u since i first met u what my intentions are, u cant be surprised what has happened..' what the hell is she doing?? it's like shes trying to pretend using selective memory about what happened.. lying to herself etc..

girls lie to themselves about how situations occurred?

The impression: "A hard head makes a soft ass", applies here.


Dude, you're really making it hard to feel sorry for you. And the things you do to annoy that girl is reflecting in your post. I feel like you're trying to press the issue about gettig this girl to like you again on us. Basically, you're annoying. Quit analizing the girl, and let her go for the hundred time.

BTW: You're trippin about this girl over a kiss man. A KISS!!!!! Think about that. It's not like she let you hit it. And by the way you've handled things, you'll never hit it.

 

[drift king]

Your actions determine whether you get friendzoned or not. It's good that you didn't "accept" friendship. But it shouldn't be something that's verbally said. You can show that you aren't friend by your actions.

I see the whole asking you to be friends as a sh1t test in order to snatch the frame from you. And in this case it worked.

I personally would've agreed and amplified when she asked to be friends by saying "I agree.. you would make a good friend, you're not my type anyways." to take the frame back.

Live and learn from your experiences. I have to say that your major downfall is that your lacking inner game. You understand the techniques taught all over SS but without an inner frame to back it up, it won't work because your AFC behaviors will eventually show itself.

what if she asks to meet up with me for coffee?

i see her on campus all the time im bound to bump into her again at some point.

 

[tafakna]

i swear she just used the whole 'u dont listen to me' reason...

She's wrong in accusing you of that. You actually don't listen to ANYONE.

You're neglecting real facts and outside opinion, and hanging on to made up rationalizations and internal voices.

We all know you can be better than this, but right now your behavior is borderline psychotic.

TAKE CARE.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

The impression: "A hard head makes a soft ass", applies here.


Dude, you're really making it hard to feel sorry for you. And the things you do to annoy that girl is reflecting in your post. I feel like you're trying to press the issue about gettig this girl to like you again on us. Basically, you're annoying. Quit analizing the girl, and let her go for the hundred time.

BTW: You're trippin about this girl over a kiss man. A KISS!!!!! Think about that. It's not like she let you hit it. And by the way you've handled things, you'll never hit it.

+1000!! I was gonna say the same thing. I get INCREDIBLY frustrated just reading Drift's posts because we tell him E-X-A-C-T-L-Y what to do, then he does the complete opposite and comes here freaking out.

Then to make matters even MORE FRUSTRATING he starts coming up with retarded rationale as to why this chick doesn't like him.

"If I didn't blink at 1:34pm and would have smiled, she would like me."

Sadly, he will continue to chase this girl and embarass himself whether he posts here about it or not.

One of the biggest AFC's I've since in 6 years on Sosuave.






PIMP

 

[Da Realist]

what if she asks to meet up with me for coffee?

i see her on campus all the time im bound to bump into her again at some point.

Right now, you're in denial. You keep thinking of these hypothetical ways you'll see her when most likely it won't happen.

The best thing to do right now is absolutely nothing. Just go out and have some fun. The more time you waste thinking about how to fix it, the worst it gets.

 

[sodbuster]

YOu took a drunk kiss and a drunk text as a profession of love? She WASN'T sober an hour later-the next day she was.

I've had women tell me they wanted to date me and showed me their boobs in the bar. I've had some I never got home to my place. You'd believe she was going to marry you in the morning if she did that.

Reading your initial posts reminded me of conversations with my ex-wife. Alot of chick speak and no listening to what a man tells you. Get a grip, my 13 year old is more manly than you are. Take the advice we give you next time,or else we'll stop helping you. We've got better things to do than reply to your mental masturbation.

 

[hansol]

Dude, wait til you've been banging a chick for a while, she confesses her "unwavering love" to you", and then you find out she has been banging another guy all along and is "in love with him too". If a liquored-up kiss blows your mind, I can only imagine that you'll pull a Wicked-Witch-Of-The-West and start to melt or something...

It's game over with her dude. Done. Finished. And until you sort your actions out, and stop talking to her about "Why don't you like me?" nonsense, you're going to have every woman you encounter thinking you're a grade A douche. Sort your life out.

It's not her fault, it's YOUR fault. Fix YOURSELF

 

[drift king]

Your actions determine whether you get friendzoned or not. It's good that you didn't "accept" friendship. But it shouldn't be something that's verbally said. You can show that you aren't friend by your actions.

I see the whole asking you to be friends as a sh1t test in order to snatch the frame from you. And in this case it worked.

I personally would've agreed and amplified when she asked to be friends by saying "I agree.. you would make a good friend, you're not my type anyways." to take the frame back.

Live and learn from your experiences. I have to say that your major downfall is that your lacking inner game. You understand the techniques taught all over SS but without an inner frame to back it up, it won't work because your AFC behaviors will eventually show itself.

i had a think about what you said and everything everyone else said and realised that i must probably be in denial and just want to see things the way i wanted, for my own sanity could you try to answer these following questions for me:

assuming you're all right and she was just leading me on all this time and was toying with me, was she conscious of this?

or was she as she 'says' 'didn't know what she wanted at the time and just wanted to meet to see how it went whether we'd be together or just be nothing' she then went on to say how she was upfront from the start..
bullsh1t! she never was upfront about it, i was, she was saying all this on the walk back.. why the hell is she doing this?

it's like she's tryna rationalise in her mind she never led me on and she's innocent in all of this.. i felt i should have said something cos i was so p1ssed off about this afterwards that i was led on.

secondly, im so full of rage and vengeful hate right now about how she could treat someone like this who genuinely cared for her? i felt sorry for her in some respects of her life but now i just want to get back at her, yesterday i was still so into her now realising she must have led me on all this time makes me despise her.

like u say judge her actions not words, prior to the kiss she was saying 'we're at a stage where we either move forward or part ways..' then we kiss.. she freaks out and says 'it was a stupid mistake, we wont be togther' again and again wtf does she mean we wont be together?? did she just meant that she never intended to kiss me and get serious like that?

it's like the text after was her regretting her decision then obviously i AFC'd up..

furthermore this above is explained by when i forced her to meet up and made the arrangement on monday she said 'its not fun anymore, it got all serious..' in other words as soon as this whole game toying with me got serious and she had to put up or shut up she freaked out and was just playing with me??

this makes me so mad. so many things she did seemed as if she feigned interest, she'd give me a little bit more affection every date, kiss my face, kiss my neck, then next 1 lick my lips, but never kissed me till that 1.

was she really just playing with me this whole time and all these supposed IOI's were just feigned and she was just pacing herself?

she even said 'it was fine before we kissed, it was fine.' i was like what the hell?? what do u mean it was fine before we kissed? what did she mean??

i understand girls are c0ckteases and just like the attention and ego boost, but i feel infuriated cos i really cared for her and now i cant stand the b1tch. under that cute innocent sweet smile she's an evil wh0re.

finally, unfortunately i met some of her close friends yesterday who she parties with and really like me and invited me to dinner at this restaurant (i want to eat at but dont know where it is..) with them next weekend, im suppose to forget her now but i couldn't bear seeing her with some other guy or flirting with some other guy, should i just bring a hot girl to dinner and ignore her the whole night?

 

[drift king]

YOu took a drunk kiss and a drunk text as a profession of love? She WASN'T sober an hour later-the next day she was.

I've had women tell me they wanted to date me and showed me their boobs in the bar. I've had some I never got home to my place. You'd believe she was going to marry you in the morning if she did that.

Reading your initial posts reminded me of conversations with my ex-wife. Alot of chick speak and no listening to what a man tells you. Get a grip, my 13 year old is more manly than you are. Take the advice we give you next time,or else we'll stop helping you. We've got better things to do than reply to your mental masturbation.

yeah i know she was tipsy an hour later when she sent that, she was never drunk, she only had 1 drink and was tipsy at most.

that's why i didn't want to take anything for granted till the next day, if she still wanted to meet up the next day then i was more sure she was serious. but then again she could still be carrying on the toying with me once i agreed.

 

[hansol]

Awe muffin, you're engraged because you can't understand why a woman would say something and do the exact opposite? Unbelieveable! Scandalous illogical wenches!

Dude, cowboy up. Woman say stupid things for NO reason. It's convenient and easier and they don't consciously think about it. And when you do call them on it, they get angry and hate you. End of story. There is nothing more to it, so stop analyzing.

Like a sergeant used to tell me, "Sort your life out, d u m b a s s". Stop acting emotionally, start acting rationally, figure out where YOU went wrong, and fix it so you don't make the same stalker-esque mistakes with your next broad. And I say "next broad" because this girl is sick of you and you have no damage control options here.