ok i finally met her for the last time, i'll do it the sosuave way from now on, FB?

[drift_king]

ok i finally met with her for the last time. sorry it's a super long thread with 2 more posts of continued ramblings but it's the last time i talk about this girl so please read and advise.

as per my other thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=167875

the advice given to me was to not meet up with her today and cancel but i insisted on doing it my way cos i felt she was being forced and she was and wanted to end things with me anyway and i was stupid/smart enough to believe i could get her to like me again.

this is how the date went: she wasn't in a pissy mean b1tchy mood with me so i anticipated wrong, i decided to go for an action date of bowling and she kept telling me about 3-4 times that she didn't like bowling but i insisted cos we only had a 1hour time limit to adhere to and there was nothing else nearby that ressembled an action date, she kept suggesting to go for coffee which i kept saying 'after' even tho there wasn't much time. this i thought was me taking the initiative and leading the date but it ultimately led to my downfall today,

after bowling we had coffee, and she revealed to me that she didn't want to see me anymore and wanted nothing and wanted me to give her her space.

she said her biggest problem with me was i don't listen to her when she doesn't want to do something or doesnt want to talk about something and i keep pressing her for it it annoys her.. to me she's right in some respects but it also a way for her to weasel out of answering the tough questions by getting annoyed/angry.

the whole date went better than i expected i was funny from the offset she recepted well up until the point near the end where i wanted to talk about what happened the night we kissed and she was getting sick of me bringing it up cos i wanted answers and she kept telling me to forget about that night i was like 'well u can pretend it didn't happen if u want, but it still happened and u pushing me away saying u dont want to see me anymore then text me an hour later saying u still want to meet up the next day and kiss me then the next day didn't change your mind tells me that u were interested at least a bit.'

she then goes on to tell me she 'never was interested' and it was her fault, so i go on to talk about how she led me on and she defends herself saying that she told me from the beginning she was looking to be friends.. then i retorted back that i been straight with her since the beginning and been direct about what i was looking for.. i didnt go as far to say to her that she shouldn't have led me on cos i could already tell it was a touchy subject.

did i make a mistake and should have pressed the issue more?

she was getting more and more annoy and more angry and had to leave soon cos we already went past hour 1 hour limit so i cant really blame her for that.

she said 'right now i dont want anything, i dont want to see u, i dont know what will happen in the future but right now i dont want anything, i dont want a bf, i dont want a relationship, theres so many things i want to do with my time so i dont have time for a bf right now.'

what is that woman speak for? i assume that she doesnt want me to be her bf right? cos she has low IL?

 

[drift_king]

then i talk jokingly about us fooling around, and she didnt know what it meant (she's foreign) i said 'u know kissing and more..' she says 'what, u mean sex? yeah of course we can do that (in a semi sarcastic tone)' it's hard to tell whether she's being half serious or joking. but i said it again and she seemed to play along so i dont know if i should have just gone for it from a physical standpoint from the beginning rather than try to get into a relationship with her. do u think i can turn her into a f-buddy? (although low IL takes that out of the question.. unless her low IL is relation to dating me rather than fvcking me.)


she also mentions that her friends thinks shes 'stupid' for coming out with me again today, i felt as if she was giving me a last chance to prove her friends wrong cos she still liked me, but me insisting on going bowling rather than coffee helped make her mind up that she didn't want to see me anymore. nail in the coffin really.

she gets mad at me again for not listening cos she tells me she wants nothing right now with me and i should respect her decision and i tell her to meet me halfway cos i felt as if im giving her everything she wants and nothing i want. was i unreasonable here?

it's like so many things i do make her like me, but then other things i do turn her off. she kept saying i was too 'pushy' time and time again, i felt me wanting to kiss her after we went out several times and attempting to wasn't pushy but in her eyes it is, or it's an excuse.

basically i feel like she led me on and she doesn't feel that she did but liked the attention and convinces herself she didnt, but when i bring it up she feels 'well he can believe what he wants to believe'

anyway i dont know when to drop the subject and i could tell all the rapport i built up on the date was being lost even though i'd throw in a few references during the intervals of her being annoyed.

the walk back was the worst bit, she got angry that i wasn't listening AGAIN to what she was saying. i always believed i should be the man so i should lead the date the arrangement etc in spite what she wants. she said 'i thought me and u were the same that we liked each other and enjoyed spending time with each other but it seems that everyone i meet every guy wants something more..' i told her there and then that 'well i told u from the start what my intentions were.. u cant pretend as if i surprised u with it.'

then she says 'well we could be friends but u said we cant be friends..'

then i caved in and thought 'well maybe i could be friends to weasel my way back in at some point especially seeing as i been pushy before.' so i go 'well maybe yeah we could be friends.. my female friends suggested maybe i should try to be friends with u..' then she got very angry and said 'so u been telling everyone about my private life???' i was like 'well its my private life too..' she is very private about her private life as you'd expect probably from someone who probably has a lot of skeletons in her closet. anyway this seemed to be the nail in the coffin. cos when i suggested us trying to be friends, at that point she didn't want to.. she seemed so turned off by me that i'd talk about my private life with her to other people that she lost trust in me and wanted me to go and her back to her dorms (i usually walk her back to her dorms)

she told me to go, and i insisted on taking her back.. then again im not listening to her as she requests and go with what i want. then she tells me shes really late for her meeting with her classmate for work.. this is true.

but i insisted on walking with her for a bit, then i think she got more and more angry. then suddenly told me to go when i brought up being friends again issue cos she refused. wouldnt' even hug me goodbye. so i just left.

will no amount of NC having other hot girls around me make her jealous enough to come back?

 

[drift_king]

i sense her attraction for me is so low now that nothing may work, and even if it does she feels she can have me anytime so the challenge is over.

she says she was never attracted to me and indirect words led me on.. but it still doesnt explain why she kissed me then pushed me away saying 'we wont be together, it's a mistake, it was stupid' then tells me later she still wants to see me.

I plan to follow sosuave advice now, i just wish i left things on a high note so that NC would work much better. right now she feels resolute in her decision and i could have swayed it had i not persisted on changing her mind using logic and her meeting me halfway rather than letting her dwell on a good time we had, she doesn't even want to meet me for coffee or to talk which tells me shes sick of me right now.. which must mean there's no hope salvaging this unless she starts to miss me through NC.

Would a mixture of NC and other hot girls around me making her jealous cause an emotional reaction in her?

right now i do believe she's right i should listen to her and not persist.. but at the same time if im a man i should be the 1 leading the relationship not following what she always wants. i get nothing out of this arrangement it seems.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Damn man, you really need to back off her. You're pushing her away to the point where you are coming off as way too desperate and creepy. Theres a difference between being the man and trying to run everything.

Her interest level is rock bottom, NC may or may not work.

You've only kissed her a few times; she was never your girl, and she's annoyed because your so infatuated with her and acting like ya'll are in a relationship.You're acting like the female in this situation. Drop her and learn from this..

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

drift_king said: "she said her biggest problem with me was i don't listen to her when she doesn't want to do something or doesnt want to talk about something and i keep pressing her for it it annoys her.. to me she's right in some respects but it also a way for her to weasel out of answering the tough questions by getting annoyed/angry."

It annoys all women. You keep trying to talk logically to her and to get her to think logically. Imagine if she talked (and tried to get you involved) and talked to you about painting her nails and the various colors all the time and why she picks different colors depending on how she feels or because some other girl wore the same color once (that *****!). And, every time you started having a good time but she wasn't getting what she wanted she'd start up about the damned nail painting again. No matter what happens, it's right back to the intricacies of nail painting.

and on and on and on and on and on and an and on and on and on

Yes, picture that and you'll see pretty much how girls view logical talk from a guy. Logical talk from a guy sounds like a chalkboard being endlessly scraped with those painted nails.

On top of that, they're going to feel like they're strapped in a chair with a spotlight in their face demanding answers about things they really can't answer about past events because it's all about emotional feelings that are very blurred by how she's feeling right at the current moment.

You really HAVE to stop this sort of thing with women. You need to try to see how things look from their perspective. Girls really, really, truly don't know why they do most of the things they do and when you try to pin them down it just upsets them. When you try to analyze out loud what they've done or are doing it upsets them. If they even think you're analyzing stuff it upsets them.

See a pattern? They'll get to the point where they don't want any interaction at all because they're feeling like the more they do the more crap logical talk they're going to get about it. If a kiss is being analyzed holy crap, how much is sex going to be analyzed?

She's not weaseling, it friggin makes them annoyed/angry/turned-off. Actually, most girls wouldn't have even bothered telling you pretty damned bluntly and this straightforward:

"she said her biggest problem with me was i don't listen to her when she doesn't want to do something or doesnt want to talk about something and i keep pressing her for it it annoys her.. to me she's right in some respects but it also a way for her to weasel out of answering the tough questions by getting annoyed/angry."

Girls really don't care all about talk with a man they want to look up to and respect, they want to FEEL GOOD, EXCITED, THINGS ARE TAKEN CARE OF, THE MAN ISN'T EFFECTED BY THE WORLD, etc...

Stop it with the logical talk and questions. Just be and exciting man to be with, not a prosecutor/investigator/judge all wrapped in one.

This girl is done with you. You'll just drag out your personal pain as well as hers and hold yourself back from learning if you have anything to do with her in the future.

 

[SchoolBoy]

i sense her attraction for me is so low now that nothing may work, and even if it does she feels she can have me anytime so the challenge is over.

she says she was never attracted to me and indirect words led me on.. but it still doesnt explain why she kissed me then pushed me away saying 'we wont be together, it's a mistake, it was stupid' then tells me later she still wants to see me.

I plan to follow sosuave advice now, i just wish i left things on a high note so that NC would work much better. right now she feels resolute in her decision and i could have swayed it had i not persisted on changing her mind using logic and her meeting me halfway rather than letting her dwell on a good time we had, she doesn't even want to meet me for coffee or to talk which tells me shes sick of me right now.. which must mean there's no hope salvaging this unless she starts to miss me through NC.

Would a mixture of NC and other hot girls around me making her jealous cause an emotional reaction in her?

right now i do believe she's right i should listen to her and not persist.. but at the same time if im a man i should be the 1 leading the relationship not following what she always wants. i get nothing out of this arrangement it seems.

What is this like your 10th thread about this girl?

I don't know why I waste my time responding to your posts. You obviously have selective hearing because through all the advice you were given to next her, you're still trying to make it work. It amazes me how SoSuave offers great advice and yet you choose to ignore it all by continuously acting like an AFC.

It's over. She won't miss you through NC and she won't be jealous. I've been following all your threads for the past month and you chose not to listen to ANY of the advice that was given to you.

You should have nexted her a long time ago but instead you let your oneitis get the best of you. I understand why she doesn't want to be with you. What kind of self-respecting woman would want a guy who's manipulative, needy, desperate, clingy, and totally AFC to the core.

Have some self-control and self-respect by walking away with whatever dignity you can salvage.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

did i make a mistake and should have pressed the issue more?

Pressed the issue more? Are you serious? You were adviced to NOT see her again, now you know why. Yet, you still went ahead and did it your way.

she was getting more and more annoy and more angry and had to leave soon cos we already went past hour 1 hour limit so i cant really blame her for that.

If you really couldn't blame her, why were you doing the very exact thing that was guaranteed to not work? She was getting annoyed that she had to spend any time with you.

she said 'right now i dont want anything, i dont want to see u, i dont know what will happen in the future but right now i dont want anything, i dont want a bf, i dont want a relationship, theres so many things i want to do with my time so i dont have time for a bf right now.'

Translation: Right now [and never), I don't want anything WITH YOU, I don't want to see you, NOTHING will ever happen in the future, I am opent to a bf, but not YOU, I am open to a relationship, but not YOU, there are so many things I want to do with my time, without YOU.

A little cruel, but hopefully this situation with her will be the want that figuratively "bitsh slaps you" into getting it together and not being so stubborn about always going about things your way.

what is that woman speak for? i assume that she doesnt want me to be her bf right? cos she has low IL?

No man, everything she just said was because she DOES WANT to be your girlfriend!

Are you kidding? How much more stubborn and in denial can you be.

Brother, please don't do this to yourself and do make it a learning experience. Whatever you do, DO NOT do something remotely similar with the next one your pursue. Come in here and ask some of the guys who always seem to offer the basic, solid advice, and take it.

Don't worry about this one anymore. You needed, and need to go through these, at one point eventually, in order to "get it".

 

[theunflushables]

My impression from this thread is you seem to think that by being insistent on what you want you are being the "man" in the relationship. While it is good to lead social interactions, you still have to have an "I don't give a fvck" attitude.

Always insisting that you do things your way or demanding these answers from women just makes you sound like a bratty little kid who demands the world from their parents.

I've also thought of two different lyrics that are pertinent to your situation.

"You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, know when to run."

"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime you just might find you get what you need."

 

[thecurtainfalls]

You need to dial it wayyyy back and chill the fvck out, or you are going to continue to give of a heavy vibe of "socially illiterate" and will continue to creep girls out like this.

I recommend spending some time reading the fundamentals of the DJ Bible, and some time reading some of the longer and more detailed replies that your fellow DJs have given you on this situation.

 

[drift_king]

What is this like your 10th thread about this girl?

I don't know why I waste my time responding to your posts. You obviously have selective hearing because through all the advice you were given to next her, you're still trying to make it work. It amazes me how SoSuave offers great advice and yet you choose to ignore it all by continuously acting like an AFC.

It's over. She won't miss you through NC and she won't be jealous. I've been following all your threads for the past month and you chose not to listen to ANY of the advice that was given to you.

You should have nexted her a long time ago but instead you let your oneitis get the best of you. I understand why she doesn't want to be with you. What kind of self-respecting woman would want a guy who's manipulative, needy, desperate, clingy, and totally AFC to the core.

Have some self-control and self-respect by walking away with whatever dignity you can salvage.

the thing is it was pretty clear i was going to go through with seeing her yesterday cos i wanted to salvage what potentially would be the last chance i had cos i felt i could turn things around with her. i had the opportunity, she was very friendly much more than i expected and i didnt capitalize on that i just assumed that cos she was b1tchy a few days ago she'd be like this in general hence i didn't listen to what she wanted and go just for coffee and insisted on going bowling.

was she just using that as an excuse about how i dont listen to her to end things with me? it seems rather convenient.

she's the youngest of 3 kids all sisters and in the past told me she had a lack of attention from her parents, her dad died when she was 8 so it was a single parent household. it made me think that maybe me not listening to her reminds her of her bad childhood and lack of attention and people not listening to her cos her older sisters would scream louder.

i want to be able to learn from my mistakes from her cos despite everything i could have turned it around, she was friendly, ok we had a time constraint but we went over it by about 1 hour (it was suppose to be a 1 hour date) but i couldn't let some things go.

also i didn't like how she was rationalising in her mind that we never 'dated' i was like ??? 'so do u go out with loads of guys like this..?' she goes 'yeah all the time..' i go 'and kiss their faces and lick their lips? ' that caught her out there but in her mind i dont like how she made herself believe we never dated and the kiss was just a mistake 2 weeks ago.

this frustrates me after all the effort i put in. i felt like saying straight to her 'it doesn't matter if u pretend we weren't dating, we were. believe what u want to believe the facts dont lie.' i know it's totally unnecessary but i dont like how if she tells other people about me, it'll be like 'oh he's just a friend'

even with the paying at the end, as she tried to force to pay for the coffee, i insisted on paying.. and then i stopped her from paying. then she got annoyed, and this was after the whole 'u dont listen to me that annoys me the most' speech.

so i tried changing and when the waitress came back with the change i gave it to her and she gave me a $20 bill like i gave to to the waitress. i said to her.. 'u pay cos u want to backwards rationalise in your mind that it's not a date, but it clearly is regardless..' she says 'oh you're thinking too much..' then i said something along the line of 'no im not it is like that.' i cant remember if she got annoyed again but i still felt it was a stunt to disarm me.

i had to learn the hard way and should have listened to sosuave advice. despite her being in such a great mood and friendly towards me, was yesterday really not salvageable from my viewpoint?

everyone was saying she didnt want to be there and she was forced, which she was but she was very pleasant and friendly like she was giving me 1 last shot i think she said her friends said she was stupid coming out to see me 1 last time also. maybe she used it as a way to reaffirm in her mind that she moved on and made the right decision.

her telling me to back off and do nothing and didn't want to see me anymore alarmed me after a good time we had, so strange she was all so friendly.. then suddenly leaves me with the bombshell that she doesnt want to see me at all in any form, tho i told her numerous times we couldnt be friends.

now she goes away with this stupid thought that i was pretending this whole time to like her as a person by saying 'all this time i thought u were like me and enjoyed being around me as a person like i like u but u dont even want to be friends..'

and retorted back 'what do u mean? i been telling u since i first met u what my intentions are, u cant be surprised what has happened..' what the hell is she doing?? it's like shes trying to pretend using selective memory about what happened.. lying to herself etc..

girls lie to themselves about how situations occurred?

 

[drift_king]

Pressed the issue more? Are you serious? You were adviced to NOT see her again, now you know why. Yet, you still went ahead and did it your way.



If you really couldn't blame her, why were you doing the very exact thing that was guaranteed to not work? She was getting annoyed that she had to spend any time with you.



Translation: Right now [and never), I don't want anything WITH YOU, I don't want to see you, NOTHING will ever happen in the future, I am opent to a bf, but not YOU, I am open to a relationship, but not YOU, there are so many things I want to do with my time, without YOU.

A little cruel, but hopefully this situation with her will be the want that figuratively "bitsh slaps you" into getting it together and not being so stubborn about always going about things your way.



No man, everything she just said was because she DOES WANT to be your girlfriend!

Are you kidding? How much more stubborn and in denial can you be.

Brother, please don't do this to yourself and do make it a learning experience. Whatever you do, DO NOT do something remotely similar with the next one your pursue. Come in here and ask some of the guys who always seem to offer the basic, solid advice, and take it.

Don't worry about this one anymore. You needed, and need to go through these, at one point eventually, in order to "get it".

yeah i know i shouldn't have met her but i had to learn the hard way. could i have not salvaged it yesterday?

she was very friendly and open and nice from the beginning, i wasn't expecting that. it's like she was giving me a last chance.

the 1 hour limit was actually extended to 2 hours but she had to go see her classmate to do a project for their exam, i knew this in advance even before the 1st hour started so getting a 2nd hour i was pushing things.

maybe i should have kept everything friendly and lighthearted and never spoke about 'us' but she asked me about it.. 'so what do we do about us?'

i swear she just used the whole 'u dont listen to me' reason to soften the blow of ending thing with me.. cos it doesn't make sense if despite all those things and the good time she had she doesn't want to see me at all in any shape or form right now tho she knows i dont want to be friends.

i know she likes me or liked me at 1 point and is in denial much like myself about it. is NC at this stage not going to work at all?

 

[thecurtainfalls]

Do yourself a favor... for your own sanity and the development of your own inner game, walk away from this girl and do not look back. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. There is a valuable learning experience in here, but you are too obsessed over this girl and too fvckin' antsy to see it.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

If I ever meet this chick I'm gonna give her a championship trophy for dealing with you for the past few months!!! GOOD LORD!!!! Was anyone else cringing as they read Drift's post???

Man, I'm not gonna even break down your fake date and all the errors you made, but you honestly just DON'T GET IT!!!!

I'm giving you some tough love here, I know your a good guy.... but your too wrapped up in your own soap opera to even see the reality of this situation. When your ready to start fresh, with new girls and want pointers hit us up. We will be more than happy to help you transform from the sappy AFC to the smooth girl getting machine that you have potential to be.

Read the Bible and don't post about this girl again..







PIMP

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

i know she likes me or liked me at 1 point and is in denial much like myself about it. is NC at this stage not going to work at all?

Good lord dude, you really need to change your perspective on this or you're going to end up with multiple PPOs over the next few years.

Your view: this is almost all her fault for a bunch of various reasons

You post your evidence: EVERYONE says your actions are the problem and you need to learn and get out of AFC land...that's by going from your view, good god, what if she posted her perception of all this here?!?!?!?

Your view: doesn't matter, i can fix it if i only blah blah blah i can't stop thinking about it 24/7 there's got to be a way

Everyone else's view: you're completely obsessed over a friggin kiss and aren't thinking rationally, with perspective, at all, in any way, not even .001%

Keep on typing all you want. You'll just keep getting the same responses and it'll show you just can't shake the oneitis you have.

Or, you could realize that everyone else here has gone or is going through similar situations and are trying to help snap you out of it.

You're not being looked down on. In fact, it's a reminder to others to not go back to being in that sort of situation or living like that.

There is exactly ZERO chance that this type of situation could be fixed by you, anyone here, or even the biggest grand master DJ in the history of the world trying to go back to repair what's been done.

It's done. Kaput. Fini. IT'S OVER.

 

[SchoolBoy]

Do you really need a slap in the face from her before realizing she's not into you?

She's was playing you from the start.

Now that she's done playing with you she wants to get rid of you.

Don't always think about what you "should've" done, think about what you're gonna do now! And that's to WALK AWAY.

NC won't work for 2 reasons:

1) You don't have enough self control to go NC. You're constantly clinging onto her like there's no tomorrow.

2) You messed it up waaay too much already by acting AFC. Whatever dignity you could have salvaged by walking away earlier is now gone.

You are right about one thing, she did use the "you don't listen to me" line to break it off with you.

Because we all know that's not actually the reason. "you don't listen to me" translates into "you're way too clingy, needy, AFC, and any attraction that I've had for you is now long gone."

 

[Gangster Of Love]

yeah i know i shouldn't have met her but i had to learn the hard way. could i have not salvaged it yesterday?

Yes, you definately need to learn the hard way, and apparently you are still not convinced.

NO, you could not have salvaged anything yesterday. If anything, you dug yourself into the whole even deeper.

she was very friendly and open and nice from the beginning, i wasn't expecting that. it's like she was giving me a last chance.

Wrong. It looks like she's just a normal, healthy, and nice person who was trying to explain to you that she was not interested in dating you and you just kept pushing all the wrong buttons and beating a dead horse. Everybody has a breaking point, and you exhausted her patience and had to resort to snapping at you and acting a little mean, and you still don't seem to get it. Most other girls would have just ignored you or not been as nice. It had nothing to do with her giving you a "last chance". You mistook her kindness for weakness and refused to listen to anything she had to say, and as I said, kept beating a dead horse. The girl is way beyond annoyed. If I was advicing her, I'd tell her to get a restraining order on your a$s.

the 1 hour limit was actually extended to 2 hours but she had to go see her classmate to do a project for their exam, i knew this in advance even before the 1st hour started so getting a 2nd hour i was pushing things.

To drag this tortuture was very inconsiderate, disingenous and disrespectful of her and her time. You just can't take NO for an answer. I picture you just like Pepe Lepew. The damn skunk just drools, pesters, and has absolutely no respect for his "date"'s boundaries!

Newton's Third Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

You pushed her too much and too hard, so she pushed back. Seriously, I might not be the only one right now who feels like literally slapping you:box: for your behavior with this young lady.

maybe i should have kept everything friendly and lighthearted and never spoke about 'us' but she asked me about it.. 'so what do we do about us?'

Well, once she told you she no longer wanted to talk about it, that is when you needed to end it. You went bonkers and pushed her even harder.

i swear she just used the whole 'u dont listen to me' reason to soften the blow of ending thing with me.. cos it doesn't make sense if despite all those things and the good time she had she doesn't want to see me at all in any shape or form right now tho she knows i dont want to be friends.

Yes, she was somewhat interested in you, when she really didn't know you. You made your own bed here. You did everything in the book to loose any attraction she might have initially had. This happened weeks ago, gradually. Yesterday was just the icing on the cake.

i know she likes me or liked me at 1 point and is in denial much like myself about it. is NC at this stage not going to work at all?

She liked you enough to go out with you. Minimal attraction. That is what men and women do. They meet up on dates or get togethers to see if there is something more. That is very normal. When you asked her if that's what she does with all guys, and she responded yes, she was in the right. That is what normal people do.

She couldn't put into exact words why she lost interest, but that was the best she could do. You made it so easy for her to tell you what she did. She lost interest weeks ago, and by this point, she was so turned off by you that she just went bold on you and told you why she wasn't interested. She is not in denial. You are, apparently.

NC at this stage, and as of a few weeks ago, will NOT work AT ALL. Stop beating a dead horse. I don't think you get it yet.

I have an assginment for you. Write the following standards:

"I HAVE NO CHANCES WHATSOEVER TO GET WITH THIS ONE GIRL. NOT EVEN NO CONTACT WILL WORK HERE. I WILL LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES AND BE MORE CONSIDERATE NEXT TIME."

 

[SchoolBoy]

drift_king we were all once like you. We lived and learned. Follow the advice given to you and move on.

 

[theunflushables]

Women are adept at fighting with someone while making it look friendly and polite. She was probably ready to blow from the minute you guys met up but really restrained herself until she couldnt take it anymore.

 

[drift_king]

Do you really need a slap in the face from her before realizing she's not into you?

She's was playing you from the start.

Now that she's done playing with you she wants to get rid of you.

Don't always think about what you "should've" done, think about what you're gonna do now! And that's to WALK AWAY.

NC won't work for 2 reasons:

1) You don't have enough self control to go NC. You're constantly clinging onto her like there's no tomorrow.

2) You messed it up waaay too much already by acting AFC. Whatever dignity you could have salvaged by walking away earlier is now gone.

You are right about one thing, she did use the "you don't listen to me" line to break it off with you.

Because we all know that's not actually the reason. "you don't listen to me" translates into "you're way too clingy, needy, AFC, and any attraction that I've had for you is now long gone."

look this is all well and good you telling me she wasn't into me.. then explain to me precisely WHY that 2 weeks ago, we kissed, she stops and says it was a stupid mistake and we wont' be together again and again and says she didnt want to see me again.

then 1 hour later texts me 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss u.'

granted the alcohol that night left her tipsy so if she had changed her mind by the next day i would know it was just the alcoholl.. HAD we actually met up the next night the 1st thing we would have done was kissed intimately.

we didn't meet up not cos she didn't want to, but when she came back saying to make it later in the evening i offered a few days later instead, rather than later that night. that was my mistake. i should have met up with her that next day no matter what.

PLEASE explain to me why at that very point that girl was not interested in me (i'm not talking about right now i'm talking about back then) if the 1st thing we would have done would be to kiss properly. does that sound like a girl who's not interested and never was??

EXPLAIN THIS TO ME PLEASE.

I agree with everything else you have said but this 1 issue still sticks with me.

 

[drift_king]

Yes, you definately need to learn the hard way, and apparently you are still not convinced.

NO, you could not have salvaged anything yesterday. If anything, you dug yourself into the whole even deeper.



Wrong. It looks like she's just a normal, healthy, and nice person who was trying to explain to you that she was not interested in dating you and you just kept pushing all the wrong buttons and beating a dead horse. Everybody has a breaking point, and you exhausted her patience and had to resort to snapping at you and acting a little mean, and you still don't seem to get it. Most other girls would have just ignored you or not been as nice. It had nothing to do with her giving you a "last chance". You mistook her kindness for weakness and refused to listen to anything she had to say, and as I said, kept beating a dead horse. The girl is way beyond annoyed. If I was advicing her, I'd tell her to get a restraining order on your a$s.



To drag this tortuture was very inconsiderate, disingenous and disrespectful of her and her time. You just can't take NO for an answer. I picture you just like Pepe Lepew. The damn skunk just drools, pesters, and has absolutely no respect for his "date"'s boundaries!

Newton's Third Law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

You pushed her too much and too hard, so she pushed back. Seriously, I might not be the only one right now who feels like literally slapping you:box: for your behavior with this young lady.



Well, once she told you she no longer wanted to talk about it, that is when you needed to end it. You went bonkers and pushed her even harder.



Yes, she was somewhat interested in you, when she really didn't know you. You made your own bed here. You did everything in the book to loose any attraction she might have initially had. This happened weeks ago, gradually. Yesterday was just the icing on the cake.



She liked you enough to go out with you. Minimal attraction. That is what men and women do. They meet up on dates or get togethers to see if there is something more. That is very normal. When you asked her if that's what she does with all guys, and she responded yes, she was in the right. That is what normal people do.

She couldn't put into exact words why she lost interest, but that was the best she could do. You made it so easy for her to tell you what she did. She lost interest weeks ago, and by this point, she was so turned off by you that she just went bold on you and told you why she wasn't interested. She is not in denial. You are, apparently.

NC at this stage, and as of a few weeks ago, will NOT work AT ALL. Stop beating a dead horse. I don't think you get it yet.

I have an assginment for you. Write the following standards:

"I HAVE NO CHANCES WHATSOEVER TO GET WITH THIS ONE GIRL. NOT EVEN NO CONTACT WILL WORK HERE. I WILL LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES AND BE MORE CONSIDERATE NEXT TIME."

I understand that she probably was just using me for attention especially that's what she feels now but read my post above about us kissing and that whole scenario.

im not saying i wouldn't be in the same position i am in now, but had i actually met up with her the next night where things were still fresh and the sexual tension was still there it might be a very different story now.

are you saying that night we kissed, then she pushes me away saying we wont be together and it was a stupid mistake and her not wanting to see me again.. then texting me 1 hour later saying 'hey do u still want to meet up tomorrow? i still want to kiss u' is that not an indicator she was actually into me finally at some point??

i just dont agree with this whole notion she never was interested me at all to the extent where she saw me as bf material.

all i know and im resolute in this that had i saw her that very next night we would have been making out most of that night cos i felt i finally reached the point where interest in each other was almost on par.. the events that occurred after that destroyed everything but at that very moment had i actually made it happen then i wouldn't be in this mess now.

i think it was as pivotal defining moment.

i knew she was coming back late from a prior engagement, i could have just told her to meet me at 9.30pm seeing as she was running late rather than offering sunday. she definitely would have met up with me no flaking no nothing. im 100% sure of it.

is this still a girl at that very moment was still pllaying me and never interested??

i'd understand that say after she sent that text and the next morning regretted it and didn't agree to meet up the next night then it was just the alcohol.

i will definitely encounter situations like this again in future and i felt when i received that text from her asking me to if we could make it later that day it was a pivotal moment and i was so stressed out by the night before i didnt know whether to choose sunday or just see her that night.

now i know now that in future always deal with the issue and tension straight away while it's fresh otherwise i'll have the scenario i have now which is just dire.