OK GUYS,,,,,,,,,,, I am getting back in the ring help me out with this one.

[badger04]

A friend I was talking with told me she had a co worker who is 3 weeks out of a LTR. Her ex cheated on her, she dumped him, and it's been 3 weeks since.
So, she told her friend about me and she called yesterday to see if I was in the shop. She told her friend at work that there was guy she wanted her to meet that just became single.
Of course I wasn't supposed to know they were coming by This girl is 26 has a 6 year old daughter and is really pretty cute. I would say 8-8.5 and a nice body as well.
After they left my bud called me back and said that the girl told her that I was very cute and really nice.
SO, she told her friend that I naturally said the same thing and she told her she would give me her number.
GREAT SO FAR? I called tonite around 11:00 "she was at work shes a paramdeic" and they just got back off a run and she was getting ready for bed.
She seemed interested and told me about how she was out late last night and such..LOL Than she kind of freaked on me and said " welllllll it's getting late and I have had a long day so I am going to hit the bed" I tried to keep it brief and only talked about 5-7 minutes. BUT, she told me to call her tomorrow and she gave me her home phone number. I am a little rusty here as the 3 day rule wouldn't apply as It's been 3 days since I saw her in the first place. Would you guys call tomorrow seeing how it has went so far. This could DEFINITELY help in getting over the ex so to speak as I have had to look at her and her new love for the past 2 weeks........ I think the girl would be a good time and it will be nice to show the ex that "yeah I CAN find someone just as hot as you. But in all reality I was just looking for a little advice before I proceed as I was in the LTR for toooooo long and lost some of the skills.

 

[sql]

ok. so shes a single mom, out of an LTR. she told you to call her tomorrow and she gave you her number. and then she bailed on you on the call for whatever reason before you could set something up.

i wasnt there, so i dont know, but if she didnt outright ask you to do something, before she ended the convo, then maybe thats not too high up on the IL meter. id give her a call tomorrow to set something up, and then if shes not available watch for the counter offer. if shes interested shell make the time to meet with you.

it seems to me shes dominating you since she basically told you what to do about calling etc. next time i'd put up a fight for control and say something like "well tomorrow isnt too good for me, how about i call you the day after or sometime this week in the evening so we can set something up." i dunno. it just doesnt seem right that you're accepting what she told you. this kind of behavior is only acceptable in the bedroom (sometimes).

there was something else i wanted to say but i forgot. ill post a reply if i remember.

just 2 cents

 

[sql]

oh yeah, about the 3 day wait thing.

i dont know who made that up but it seems sort of silly to me to give it a set number like that. i think you're better off given a situaiton where this can apply to say something like "well, my schedules somewhat tied up so i'll give you a call sometime this week probably in the evening". and then the next time you really have nothing better to do, use the number. thing im trying to get at is if you say "ok ill wait 3 days, then ill call her," then she'll be running around naked in your mind and before you know it you'll be sweating this girl and really looking forward to calling her. this is wrong. this is a bad thing. you want her to float around feely in your mind and low on your mental VIP list. you need to be aware that you said you'd call her, but you have to do it at a point in time where its reasonable for you to do so.

i guess what im trying to say is dont schedule/make the time to give her a call, but instead call when an opportune moments comes in - thats when you call.

 

[Jasmine]

Originally posted by sql
next time i'd put up a fight for control and say something like "well tomorrow isnt too good for me, how about i call you the day after or sometime this week in the evening so we can set something up." i dunno.

I really feel like this kind of behaviour is giving the relationship a bad vibe from the start. Why not call twice, three times maybe, and if you don't hook up, next. I just feel that if you get all bummed just because she couldn't go out in the first instance you suggested, you might be ruining a good thing from the start. She may be busy. And you getting upset and playing the game of 'I'll see you when I can', even when you could see her earlier, is giving the whole thing a negative edge. Like you don't trust her from the start.

Just the feeling I am getting. Correct me if I'm wrong!!

Jas

 

[sql]

jasmine, i agree with what you're trying to say, but i think what im trying to mean is a little different. they way it played out, the cards fell that way and thats no big deal. i think it would have been to his advantage for him to have been the agressor and set up a date before the end of the first phone convo.

i can see where people would get a bad vibe about scheduling conflicts, but thats really not an issue if the person's genuinely interested they just offer a an alternate date and time. if she wasnt interested she wouldn't offer any alternatives.


=T

 

[badger04]

Uhhhhhhh I am lost here....LOL I guess she was prying my friend asking her if theres a chance me and the ex will get back together, how long we were apart etc...
My problem is that the girls I really want to hook up with I screw up sometimes and the ones that I could care less about are the ones who are ALWAYS trying to hook up WTF.....? This stuff is getting to be to much work.........lOL