ohhh the dreaded ex syndrome

[imarockstar]

hey guys, i havent posted here in a while, but recently i found myself wanting to get back with my ex. the problem is, i was the one who dumped her. we had been dating about 5 years, i moved away with her, left all my friends and family for her, but soon after i found myself resenting her for it. i guess i just wanted to be single for a little bit and just grow and find myself. i felt that i let everyone make my desicions for me and i wanted to take life into my hands. we were broken up for about 5 months, but the problem is that every girl i meet and talk to i just feel they dont compare to her or could never be what she was to me.

i dont know what to do. i talked to her about it and told her how i felt, but it seems that she met a new guy, and theyve been hanging out here and there. she says she feels she has to move on, and that i hurt her so bad when i dumped her and she doesnt want to experience that again. but i know deep down she still cares for me and that i still have a chance. besides this guy lives hours away. but the worst part is that she did the same thing to me not too long ago, just needing her own space for growth, and it hurt me like crazy, but i still took her back. i just dont feel like its fair. but then again i dont blame her, because i told her i was going to move back home and i havent really given her a reason to have hope for us. im just so confused right now, me and her had something great but it just kinda fell apart, we fought everyday for a while and i didnt know how to deal with it, so i just broke up with her.

she still wants to be my friend and hang out with me, but i just want what she and i had before we moved here. should i just keep my feelings to myself and let her decide? i need some advice from the fellow don juans on how to get this chick back

PS i know i sound like a b*tch but, well man i got extreme oneitis for this girl and i dont know what to do in this situation

 

[Vypros]

but the problem is that every girl i meet and talk to i just feel they dont compare to her or could never be what she was to me.

Yeah they do and yeah they can.

Move on.

 

[coolf1r3]

Man, I totally know where you're coming from. As a matter of fact, I'm in the same position you are in. It's so fvcking annoying. But dude, you gotta understand that there are plenty of girls out there that you should give a chance to. I'm trying to move on, also, but I sympathize in that it's very hard. My ex and I were going out for about 8 months until I decided to break it off because she was becoming too clingy. To the extent where she wouldn't let me go out with my friends! Wtf! So yeah, we broke up in August and she's found a new boyfriend. At first, it started out with me wanting to beat him up, but as of late, it's transformed into full-blown frustration. Yesterday, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought: "Wow, what the FVCK am I doing? I'm chasing this b*tch around like I'm some sort of puppy dog. Is this any way a man should act? Hell no. Where have my balls gone? Oh, there they are." I called her that night and told her that I wasn't going to call/text/contact her any more and that if she wanted a relationship with me in the future, she could contact me. It was hard to say that because I'm afraid that this college freshman is going to take her V-card.But...there's nothing I can do about that. All I can do is take pride in the fact that I am a man, an aspiring DJ, and that I'm going to be a United States Marine!


I hope that I was helpful and I'd appreciate it if you kept me posted on what goes on!

 

[MrGold]

If ya want her back dude, its gonna be difficult. Requires total cut from contact for a couple of months and she will come back to you.. Now when (not if) she does, DO NO immediately commit. Youve gotta keep yourself busy and alive, and eventually curiosity is what'll bring her right back. That fact that your able to live your life without her can enjoy life on your own will draw her back.

It may sound harsh, but believe me it works. My ex dumped me after 2years being together.. I cut total contact, a year on she poured her heart out to me and admitted her undying love for me. Lol i told her to f-off but thats totally optional lol.

Let me know how it goes..

Regards, Gold.

 

[imarockstar]

man you guys are awesome, i was expecting to hear a lot of 'quit whining', but you guys are totally right. its just so weird. a month ago i couldnt have gave 2 ****s about what she did. I TOLD HER TO MEET NEW GUYS! then all the sudden i come back and i guess i just miss what me and her had. but then again, i notice that shes changing and not quite the same girl i used to know. well, i guess we'll see what happens. shes coming by later to hang out. i just feel like such a chump. i mean im glad i broke it off, i feel 100% better about myself and my confidence is through the roof, i guess i just felt comfortable with her, like she was a safety net. ill keep you posted

 

[Energizer]

I believe that an ex should remain an ex. I'll put money on you feeling lonely and unappreciated as the reasons for wanting her back. I bet as soon as you find another girl, you're pining for the ex will stop. In contrast to you, I broke up with mine some seven weeks ago and I don't miss her in the slightest. I sucked it and moved on.

 

[sodbuster]

When I went back,I realized why I left in the first place

 

[imarockstar]

thanks for the replies. i hung out with the girl earlier. we watched some tv before she was off to meet a gf of hers to eat dinner. midway through the show, we had a deep talk. i told her why i dumped her. i told her that i wasnt happy with myself, my job, or my future. i told her that i lacked so much confidence, that if she ever dumped me i wouldnt know what to do with my life. it was a sick feeling i realized one day and i had to put it to an end.

i broke all contact with her, spent a lot of nights alone in my apartment, but also a lot of nights at the bar and clubs meeting people. but i always had this guilt in the back of my head, that i was betraying her i guess, even though i established a break up.

i told her that now, i have a lot of confidence, my self image and esteem are so much better, and that im happy with being me. i said that i wouldnt take back the breakup because eventually, maybe a month, a year, 10 years, she would lose respect for me, because i had none for myself.

but the fact remains, she spent a lot of time mourning our breakup, went through a lot of pain, but over the holiday break, she met some guy. she claims they havent hooked up, which i believe, but it doesnt matter. this guy helped her get over me. haha, i even joked about how many orgasms i gave her last time we fvcked and how i hoped this guy would be up to the task. anyway, she says she still wants to be my friend, and she doesnt want me to move away. it hurts a little, i mean it was 5 years.

honestly now, i feel a sense of closure. i had been feeling guilty for talking to women while she was at home crying about me. now i feel free to date who i please, because shes past it. lifes crazy, a month ago i was ready to move away and couldnt give a damn who she was banging, and she wouldve loved for me to come back to her wanting a relationship back. now shes past it and i want her back? i dunno why, maybe it was comforatable and safe. But its true, you always want what you cant have.

ill be back on here to post some fr's of my upcoming weekend! thanks again fellow dj's, i almost lost my head for a second

 

[Byezbozhniy]

Love for a man is when he sees things precisely as they aren't.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

 

[KidwithSocks]

thanks for the replies. i hung out with the girl earlier. we watched some tv before she was off to meet a gf of hers to eat dinner. midway through the show, we had a deep talk. i told her why i dumped her. i told her that i wasnt happy with myself, my job, or my future. i told her that i lacked so much confidence, that if she ever dumped me i wouldnt know what to do with my life. it was a sick feeling i realized one day and i had to put it to an end.

i broke all contact with her, spent a lot of nights alone in my apartment, but also a lot of nights at the bar and clubs meeting people. but i always had this guilt in the back of my head, that i was betraying her i guess, even though i established a break up.

i told her that now, i have a lot of confidence, my self image and esteem are so much better, and that im happy with being me. i said that i wouldnt take back the breakup because eventually, maybe a month, a year, 10 years, she would lose respect for me, because i had none for myself.

but the fact remains, she spent a lot of time mourning our breakup, went through a lot of pain, but over the holiday break, she met some guy. she claims they havent hooked up, which i believe, but it doesnt matter. this guy helped her get over me. haha, i even joked about how many orgasms i gave her last time we fvcked and how i hoped this guy would be up to the task. anyway, she says she still wants to be my friend, and she doesnt want me to move away. it hurts a little, i mean it was 5 years.

honestly now, i feel a sense of closure. i had been feeling guilty for talking to women while she was at home crying about me. now i feel free to date who i please, because shes past it. lifes crazy, a month ago i was ready to move away and couldnt give a damn who she was banging, and she wouldve loved for me to come back to her wanting a relationship back. now shes past it and i want her back? i dunno why, maybe it was comforatable and safe. But its true, you always want what you cant have.

ill be back on here to post some fr's of my upcoming weekend! thanks again fellow dj's, i almost lost my head for a second

why did you tell her how you felt? poossyyy, gj on moving on though.
tough love *****

 

[WC2]

thanks for the replies. i hung out with the girl earlier. we watched some tv before she was off to meet a gf of hers to eat dinner. midway through the show, we had a deep talk. i told her why i dumped her. i told her that i wasnt happy with myself, my job, or my future. i told her that i lacked so much confidence, that if she ever dumped me i wouldnt know what to do with my life. it was a sick feeling i realized one day and i had to put it to an end.

i broke all contact with her, spent a lot of nights alone in my apartment, but also a lot of nights at the bar and clubs meeting people. but i always had this guilt in the back of my head, that i was betraying her i guess, even though i established a break up.

i told her that now, i have a lot of confidence, my self image and esteem are so much better, and that im happy with being me. i said that i wouldnt take back the breakup because eventually, maybe a month, a year, 10 years, she would lose respect for me, because i had none for myself.

but the fact remains, she spent a lot of time mourning our breakup, went through a lot of pain, but over the holiday break, she met some guy. she claims they havent hooked up, which i believe, but it doesnt matter. this guy helped her get over me. haha, i even joked about how many orgasms i gave her last time we fvcked and how i hoped this guy would be up to the task. anyway, she says she still wants to be my friend, and she doesnt want me to move away. it hurts a little, i mean it was 5 years.

honestly now, i feel a sense of closure. i had been feeling guilty for talking to women while she was at home crying about me. now i feel free to date who i please, because shes past it. lifes crazy, a month ago i was ready to move away and couldnt give a damn who she was banging, and she wouldve loved for me to come back to her wanting a relationship back. now shes past it and i want her back? i dunno why, maybe it was comforatable and safe. But its true, you always want what you cant have.

ill be back on here to post some fr's of my upcoming weekend! thanks again fellow dj's, i almost lost my head for a second

I hate to drag this on, but something tells me you don't really feel closure.

You may be telling yourself this, however you know it's false.

The reason you don't have closure is because SHE has found someone new, and you are right back where you were before, looking to get back into a relationship with her.

Trust me, I've been there.

A year after I broke up with my ex I spent that whole time screwing around with her and others (her friends as well). Again, this went on for a whole year. I'd screw her, stop talking to her and screw one of her friends. Then she'd act like she didn't want me anymore and try to screw some dude.

Eventually it got to the point where she was on the prowl all the time just to spite me. And eventually, it happened. She found a dude that was worthy of her and she never contacted me again.

Which is GOOD, but it's really no sense of closure.

The best closure is when our ex's are still latched on to us, and we can find someone new who is as good or better. This is the ultimate closure for a man who's trying to leave his bad habits (his ex).

However both you and I cannot take this route (obviously) which is ok. Our path to closure is realizing that we are worth so much more without a woman like this. We have to realize that our individual selves are very valuable to many people around us. There was a reason why these women were interested in us more than we were interested in them in the first place.