Oh wow... worst thing ever? I don't want her back.

[Dude_man123]

!!!EDIT: Check bottom... problem solved... sorta.!!!

This is embarrassing as HELL. Wow. I really have no one I can talk to about this, so I'll post online, hope for some advice. Unlike most posts here, I am not trying to get back a girl who has flaked, or anything like that...

You see, I came here because of one girl, and all my posts have been about her. I worked my butt off to get out of the friends zone, I DID IT. Really.

My story with this chick I'll call Kim. Of course, I liked Kim. I'm sure she liked me, but she had mentioned friends, but idk, she was on and off. I learned a lot from this site, and put it to use to win her. It was really starting to work, and I felt so much better about myself as a person. Really, it was great.

I work with her. Shes 17, im 19. One day her and a friend pulled up in my driveway. I've been working on her, and I could tell I was causing attraction. Things were working. They wanted me to go out with them that night, and I didn't have anything to do, so I did.

Things have been rocky, I thought, and I would post here when they were. But the thing was, I WAS ALWAYS OVER REACTING. Seriously, I thought something was going wrong, and it always worked out a few days later, I couldn't believe and I was always totally wrong. Seriously. So I've been happy.

Anyway- I go out with Kim and her friend, on the way back I kiss her a few times on the neck. There were some pics, and some were shown at work. Anyway, a guy I'll call billy, who likes kim, didn't believe I kissed her, so then he decided he would ask her when I wasn't around. Cool, cool, I don't care what he thinks.

One day, she texts me and says "Billy asked if I liked it when you kissed me and I said yeah and told him to stop being jealous..." etc... etc...

Great, I was happy she liked it and said it in front of everyone at work. Its a good feeling right?

So, fast forward about... 3-4 weeks later, everything is going well between us and we are talking about going out and stuff (we haven't been able to)

So I am at work and I speak to billy tonight. He claims that she denied I ever kissed her. I was like- Nah, your lying cause she texted me and said that you asked her and she said she liked it. He was like, no, dude, you getting PLAYED!!!! She said that in front of me and [other coworker who was not present, but isn't trustworthy]

Billy said that in front of everyone, the boss, co-workers... other chicks wouldn't speak to me the rest of the night... and I'm torn, seriously. Well, work was over about 20 mins later, I get home, text kim and it goes like this:

ME: Hey
--3 mins later--

HER: Hey
--right away--

ME: So, Kim, I had a talk with Billy tonight, he said you denied me ever kissing you. True?

---20 mins later--

Me: Oh wow, I can't believe you haven't even replied. I want to believe Billy's lying, but... I have to know.


Never got any reply. Been like an hour. I'll update if anything changes. But WOW... horrible horrible feeling. I mean, she might of lied--- now she won't even admit it! I'm not asking how to get her back... cause... I don't want her now. I want revenge, but I am above that. Theres nothing I can do anyway. Its SOOOO embarrassing... wow. In front of all the people at work, including the boss... who of course, had to comment... and I was offended. Things were going too well.... now I feel used, badly... wow.... I can't even believe it. I wish someone had told me ... a month ago, when this happened so I wouldn't have gotten so involved with her.

Heck- it would be better if she would at least reply and tell me what really happened, or apologize... or something. I have reason to believe Billy is lying, but you know.. YOU HAVE TO KNOW.

EDIT: oh yeah, basically, has this happened to anyone? I need to get over this fast. Its a SERIOUS blow to my confidence, and... everything. It's all I can think about right now. I mean, It just happened like.. 2 hours ago, but still... I don't want to spend the next few days thinking about this. I am already thinking about leaving this job. (Heck, its fast food, I can get another job quick) not to mention the boss insulted me... man.... what a night.

 

[Dude_man123]

The sad thing is, your exactly right. I just can't believe this... I feel so low right now.

And yeah, dumb doesn't describe her. I don't know how she expected to LIE to me, and not think I would find out, SINCE WE WORK TOGETHER! And I don't know how she expected to lie about me kissing her when EVERYONE SAW PICS OF US KISSING.

I feel soooooo dumb... cause it happened a MONTH AGO. And I really thought things were going well, and she doesn't have the decency to explain this this, not even try, or say sorry or anything. Crap, she could have been lying to me all along, willingly. And I haven't even been pursuing her that hard... shes been coming back to me... looks like she was just.. using me.

Wow... all the work I have done to build confidence... feels lost... all in about a 20 minute timespan. I need to recover... but I don't know how now.

But yeah... I don't want anything to do with her now.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Oh wow... worst thing ever? I don't want her back.

Who said you even had her???

The "worst thing ever" is when you find out that your wife is horing with your daddy!!! A kiss? That's nothing in the Hor Matrix!!

Is she a virgin?

 

[i am me]

nothin u can do about it if she really was lying. accept the pain and expect to hav a lil time to deal with it...but after that, get on with ur life cus this is just a lil problem in the big scheme of things. sucks tho man, i feel ur pain

 

[DJDamage]

No offence, but this sounds like a post written by a chick (you worry and care about what other people say or think about you and your self esteem and worth depends on it. )

Your attitude should be: I don't care what people say or think about me.

 

[Dude_man123]

Yeah, shes a virgin. I guess I didn't have her, but.. unlike most guys, I am not going to try and pursue her now. At all.. most guys here are like "she flaked on me, how can I get her to not do this??" etc...

And your right, I shouldn't care what people think of me, but its hard as hell when someone jumps on your back and says "HAHA, you try to get with a girl but she was playing you all along." in front of everyone...

Your attitude should be: I don't care what people say or think about me.

How can I develop this attitude? I need this badly.

No offence, but this sounds like a post written by a chick (you worry and care about what other people say or think about you and your self esteem and worth depends on it. )

Well, not to mention she denied having anything to do with me... its like... "ewww, no I would never let him kiss me... " then she keeps coming back for more. I am glad we didn't progress (cause we were planning to...) that hurts your self esteem bad man...

nothin u can do about it if she really was lying. accept the pain and expect to hav a lil time to deal with it...but after that, get on with ur life cus this is just a lil problem in the big scheme of things. sucks tho man, i feel ur pain

Thanks pal Yeah, when I get over her I won't even care anymore. Heck, I am more mad, and confused (why would anyone do this anyway?) than I am hurt at the moment.

One thing I learned from my worse AFC days, don't get too attached, which I haven't with her. I just.. don't know why she would do this... she came after me more than I her. I mean, why lie? Why not just push me away and tell me straight up she didn't want anything to do with me. Heck, she coulda pulled LJBF on me, and that would be better than this.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Take it easy kid, she is not your wife!!! She denied you - meaning she wants to keep her optons opened - she wants someone else and hence the "cover-up"!!

 

[Phyzzle]

No offence, but this sounds like a post written by a chick (you worry and care about what other people say or think about you and your self esteem and worth depends on it. )

Bingo.

Dude. Man. Dude_man, I don't even know if Kim was lying, or if this guy and his friend were, but you have been totally reeking of insecurity and creepiness around Kim.

So you're BRAGGING to your co-workers about kissing some girl? The minute Kim heard this, she immediately decided you were a loser. Even if she didn't lie, it's basically over with her.

YOUR FRIENDS, COUSINS AND COWORKERS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE!

 

[KontrollerX]

DJdan said it.

Basically bro she's as dumb as a box of rocks.

Get a different job and chill the hell out.

It matters not one damn bit what Billy or any of those losers including the boss think of you. Think of it this way the boss of that place is probably some old guy and he works at a fast food place. Thats his pinnacle of success in life at his age and he's trying to laugh at you. The irony is thicker than that 17 year old bimbo's skull.

But yeah basically what you need to do is disengage from the situation, get a different job and in the immortal words of Rollo Tomassi "Spin more plates".

I promise your confidence will return if you do this.

Oh but this time don't sh!t where you eat. Find a girl that doesn't work with you next time.

 

[Dude_man123]

Bingo.

Dude. Man. Dude_man, I don't even know if Kim was lying, or if this guy and his friend were, but you have been totally reeking of insecurity and creepiness around Kim.

So you're BRAGGING to your co-workers about kissing some girl? The minute Kim heard this, she immediately decided you were a loser. Even if she didn't lie, it's basically over with her.

YOUR FRIENDS, COUSINS AND COWORKERS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE!

I wasn't bragging, some other chick took pictures and showed people. And I told kim what happened, and I told her they were gonna ask her, cause they said they were gonna ask her if I kissed her (why? cause billy wanted her to deny it so he could say i sucked at kissing...) She even said she didn't care and said "What do you want me to say" and I said "I don't care what you say..." At the time I really trusted her and stuff, so... yeah, I didn't care what billy thought. I never thought she would lie about it though.......! Even if she told them that it wasn't true, I don't understand why she told me she told them she liked it... when I didn't even ask. too many questions, and I'll never know the answers.

I'm just pissed that this happened a MONTH AGO, and she has still been coming back to me, wanting to kiss her more... and other stuff.

It matters not one damn bit what Billy or any of those losers including the boss think of you. Think of it this way the boss of that place is probably some old guy and he works at a fast food place. Thats his pinnacle of success in life at his age and he's trying to laugh at you. The irony is thicker than that 17 year old bimbo's skull.

Wow, thats funny... really funny. Thanks man. And your exactly right too...

I feel somewhat better today anyway, even though she hasn't texted me. Its cool. I am pissed that she can't admit it, or tell me I was lied to, but whatever. I'll get over it.

And how the heck can I be secure when stuff like this happens anyway??

 

[KontrollerX]

"And how the heck can I be secure when stuff like this happens anyway??"

If you are looking for a long term or short term relationship with a good person you simply have to trust your gut instinct to find that good person and it will filter out the scum that are the games players, gold diggers and bad apples.

Its a natural instinctual feeling about a person whether the person is male or female that we all have of whether the person is good and trustworthy, a bad games playing jealousy seeking drama queen, weak, wishy washy (meaning an indecisive easily swayed person) or whatever.

When young or inexperienced this inner voice is often ignored due to a good hearted nature of wanting to give the person a chance anyway or overlooked by telling yourself that voice is just your fear holding you back and that what its telling you isn't true at all etc.

Also being young and inexperienced you may ignore the negative signals because the chick is so pretty and you want her to be the one so badly because she's seemingly into you and you fear you'll never get one as hot or hotter again so you'll ignore your inner voice and her bad behaviour in hopes that she will change or that you can change her.

You cannot for change comes from within.

The gut instinct about a person is usually never wrong.

Some can observe a person from afar and get the feeling and others have to interact with them first to get it. If you meet another chick and you get a bad feeling about her but the other part of you wants to have something with her give her a chance which will be the test of your gut instinct.

When you observe all the bad behaviour and disrespect towards you and red flags that your gut instinct warned you about you can be able to trust it with confidence from now on.

If you are just looking for a short term fun fling with a chick your gut instinct will tell you which girl is perfect for that as well as it will help you find one that is untrustworthy or indecisive for a real relationship and those are the kind you can have fun with for a while as they won't try to pressure you into a relationship because they really don't want a steady one.

 

[Dude_man123]

Thanks for the advice. Found out HE was lying. No joke. In fact, Kim was worried cause I was mad at her. So worried in fact, people at work (I wasn't around) were asking her what was wrong, till she finally said I think [my name] is really mad at me. She didn't even know what I was talking about in the text messages, thats why she didn't reply... but eventually she texted me and wanted to speak with me in person so i met her at work, and we talked.

Anyway, I still have a problem--- all the stuff you guys said. Insecurity, neediness... I got to fix this stuff. Confidence is ok again. I need to trust her, and I need to find out if our 'relationship' is going anywhere.

Anyway- his witness didn't know what he was talking about, and someone told me that he has been making up rumors and lies... starting drama. I am relieved, but I still have those issues that need to be dealt with, if I want this to work out with Kim long term.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Bingo.

Dude. Man. Dude_man, I don't even know if Kim was lying, or if this guy and his friend were, but you have been totally reeking of insecurity and creepiness around Kim.

So you're BRAGGING to your co-workers about kissing some girl? The minute Kim heard this, she immediately decided you were a loser. Even if she didn't lie, it's basically over with her.

YOUR FRIENDS, COUSINS AND COWORKERS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR LOVE LIFE!

^- dude_man,read this a gazzilion times.

Billy:I don't believe you kissed her
OP:I DID KISS HER,I DID,I DID,THERE ARE PIX!! <- insecure

After text: op thinking "yeah that should teach billy!! woohooo!!!" <- insecure

Billy:She says you didn't kiss her
OP:WHAT? I KISSED HER DUDE SHE'S A LYING STUPID HO! <- insecure

texting kim.. "why did you say i didn't kiss you,I DID , I DID , THERE ARE FSCKING PIX!!" <- INSECURE

Add in all that that you timed how long it took her to respond to you,that you responded immediately and repeatedly and that you think the whole world is jealous of you and trying to bring you down or making fun of you.

If i would take a wild guess kim told billy to tell you she denied what happened so she can seal the coffin of you having no backbone.You're lucky she still talks to you but i would be cautious of the FZ.

Best of luck.
GI