Oh lordy, how did I fvck this one up...

[Brighty]

Basically I was at a small party and this one girl was all up on me the entire time, to sum it up she was really into me (IOIs were through the roof). Then afterward she texts me (I tried to replicate the texts, with the extra letters that girls usually put when theyre excited about things)

Her: Hey so ahh my stomach hurts (everyone had some questionable food).. its all acheey
Brighty: Well you better not got sick, cause that means we wouldnt be able to hang out
Her: ahh... im really trying.. dont worry... ive got a steeel gut... what are youu and your buds doing?
Brighty: exciting stuff, what are you and your buds doing?
Her: I had to bee home.. so im brushing my teeth
Brighty: thanks for the play by play.. i cant wait to hear what happens next haha
Her: haha this is when i sprint out to my neighborhood pool... and go for a dip..
Brighty: well... you know i still have my trunks...
Her: haha... yeah what are those? likkke old fashioned suitecases?
Brighty: yeah see i open up the suitcase and cut out two holes for my legs and im good to go haha. what time were you planning on going for a dip? maybe i could show you

Aand its like 20 minutes later and no response. I don't know if I'm impatient or she's waiting until her parents fall asleep or what (it's 1:10am), or if my come on was too strong? I mean she was really fvcking feeling me at the party (whenever I would reach out she'd always touch my hand or lay her hand on my knee and eye**** the **** out of me) and I felt for sure I would have had that. I mean I got pvssy two days ago, but still man, thought that was guaranteed. Any DJs that can shed some light into this?

 

[King Turi]

I ain't a DJ, but to me it looks like she was just texting for the sake of it, then probably hit the sack.

I wouldn't look to far into it, either way it's been 20 minutes and you're whingin' on an internet forum about?
For fucksakes man haha..

 

[Captain]

You kept texting her. Don't you need your beauty sleep, Brighty?

Should have just said goodnight and called another day to set something up together.

 

[Brighty]

You kept texting her. Don't you need your beauty sleep, Brighty?

Should have just said goodnight and called another day to set something up together.

Well, I texted her to close it, and I'm going to bed now:

"I'm leaving my friends house now and I'm down for a swim, but if not we definitely need to hang out sometime"

So yeah, damage assessment.... How bad?

 

[SickAgain]

Her: I had to bee home.. so im brushing my teeth

I would've ended it right there. There's nothing more you can do once she's getting ready for bed. Just say "have a good night" and call her tomorrow. A rule of thumb: saying less is saying more. Don't text to sleep man wtf.

If you have any hope of salvaging this CALL her tomorrow and ask her to hang out. If she has a lame excuse it's obvious she wasn't into you and just wanted another person to use her unlimited texting plan with.

 

[Brighty]

I would've ended it right there. There's nothing more you can do once she's getting ready for bed. Just say "have a good night" and call her tomorrow. A rule of thumb: saying less is saying more. Don't text to sleep man wtf.

If you have any hope of salvaging this CALL her tomorrow and ask her to hang out. If she has a lame excuse it's obvious she wasn't into you and just wanted another person to use her unlimited texting plan with.

Yikes, is it that bad? Granted, she's 17 and I'm 18 and she was really infatuated with me at my friend's house as I explained in my earlier post and there was no drinking (used every opportunity she could to touch me, hell, even when we were looking in the refrigerator for food she'd lean her head on mine, we slapped each others asses on the way out of the house, lots of kino and IOIs, her friend said she'd never seen her this hyper before, etc.)... but did I **** this up that bad? Is it on the level that I have to salvage this now? I mean, lesson learned and hindsight is 20-20, but how badly did I ****block myself?


On that note, I don't get why she mentioned that she was going for a dip in the pool when she wasn't interested in me coming with? What was the point of even texting me that? Was she saying that just to talk? Cause that threw me off, definitely. Christ, women are stupid.

 

[RandallLambert]

I wouldn't send a volley of texts like that imho - I'd send one , maybe two maximum, and then thats it. If we want to talk, we can use the phone!

 

[Brighty]

I wouldn't send a volley of texts like that imho - I'd send one , maybe two maximum, and then thats it. If we want to talk, we can use the phone!

Yeah, hindsight is 20-20, but assessing the damage now, how bad is it?

 

[Brighty]

Don't panic.

You texted too long after she signaled that she wasn't up for anything more that night and you last comment about maybe skinny dipping together was weak.

You didn't do anything that would take the High IL girl that you claim she was and turn her into Low IL.

Just call her the next day and continue where you left off with her at the party. Invite her to join you doing something you are going to do, then judge her response.

Just don't come across as so eager. Chill out a little.

Report back.

Yeah, will do. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks bud.

 

[SickAgain]

you last comment about maybe skinny dipping together was weak.

Haha yeah that was weak as hell. He probably didn't even know what kind of trunk she was talking about. Either way very stupid.

Brighty, all because a girl is into one moment doesn't mean that she'll like you the next. Their attraction levels aren't like ours: a girl that is hot stays hot and thus constantly attractive. You mess up on one thing and she'll get turned off real quick and you're done. Who cares if you were smacking butts before you leave. If you haven't had sex with her, you haven't done anything to make her "infatuated".

 

[Brighty]

Haha yeah that was weak as hell. He probably didn't even know what kind of trunk she was talking about. Either way very stupid.

Brighty, all because a girl is into one moment doesn't mean that she'll like you the next. Their attraction levels aren't like ours: a girl that is hot stays hot and thus constantly attractive. You mess up on one thing and she'll get turned off real quick and you're done. Who cares if you were smacking butts before you leave. If you haven't had sex with her, you haven't done anything to make her "infatuated".

Oh, well, we had an inside joke about me calling swimtrunks trunks and her not getting it at the party, sorry if there was some confusion.

But good to know.

 

[Brighty]

So I've been out going to open houses today, but she just texted me saying "ahh soorrry i fell asuhleeep" lol.

Anyway, I was planning on responding with "dont worry about it, I was exhausted anyway... what are you up to tomorrow afternoon?", but considering how I royally screwed up last time I figured I'd run it by you guys :crackup:

 

[FunnyMan]

cut the first part out your giving her power, try just the end
"what are you up to tomorrow afternoon?"

 

[Igetit!]

You texted too long after she signaled that she wasn't up for anything more that night and you last comment about maybe skinny dipping together was weak.

Just don't come across as so eager. Chill out a little.

EXACTLY.

You want to know what you did wrong? Neediness dude.

Neediness.

You may not have been extremely needy,but a hint of it was there.

You know that it's commonly taught on the forum that we men are the prize,and that women should chase us. This is true,but in this situation,she couldn't chase you. Like DonS said,you came across as eager. Well,how can she chase someone who is eager to see her?

Two people CANNOT chase each other. One has to be moving away from the other while one is moving towards the other one. Your comments about how she can't be sick because if she is,you two won't be about to hang out,and asking her about possibly getting together tommorow make it obvious to her that you're just waiting for her to give you the green light.

That's a bad position to be in.(waiting on her)

You know why? Because she'll switch over from being interested/attracted to you to being an AW....if this "waiting" goes on too long.
She won't need to meet up or spend time with you. She'll just get her ego stroked from your constant texts and phone calls to her asking her when you two are going to see each other again.

Just follow DonS's advice and chill out.

 

[Brighty]

EXACTLY.

You want to know what you did wrong? Neediness dude.

Neediness.

You may not have been extremely needy,but a hint of it was there.

You know that it's commonly taught on the forum that we men are the prize,and that women should chase us. This is true,but in this situation,she couldn't chase you. Like DonS said,you came across as eager. Well,how can she chase someone who is eager to see her?

Two people CANNOT chase each other. One has to be moving away from the other while one is moving towards the other one. Your comments about how she can't be sick because if she is,you two won't be about to hang out,and asking her about possibly getting together tommorow make it obvious to her that you're just waiting for her to give you the green light.

That's a bad position to be in.(waiting on her)

You know why? Because she'll switch over from being interested/attracted to you to being an AW....if this "waiting" goes on too long.
She won't need to meet up or spend time with you. She'll just get her ego stroked from your constant texts and phone calls to her asking her when you two are going to see each other again.

Just follow DonS's advice and chill out.

Well I haven't sent her the text yet... in fact I haven't replied to the text at all. Are you saying I should just not reply or what?

 

[Igetit!]

Well I haven't sent her the text yet... in fact I haven't replied to the text at all. Are you saying I should just not reply or what?

It depends. When was the last time you two interacted with each other? If it was yesterday,then go at least one or two more days of no contact. I say go at least two days in between contacts....ESPECIALLY if you're the one who contacted her last.

Now let's say you do this and she contacts you at the end of the two days,or before then. What you do is you talk to her,ask her what's up/what she's been up to,get a little conversation going....but don't spend too much time talking to her.

Then what you do....and this is HUGE....you end the phone call WITHOUT saying anything about you two getting together.

I'll repeat that last part.

End the phonecall WITHOUT asking her about when you two will see each other again.

Toughen up Brighty. Stop needing her.

Now if you do this,my guess is that she'll notice that...

1:You went 2 days without calling or texting her (which she probably isn't used to). And...
2:When you two did finally reestablish contact and talk for a while,you didn't say anything about seeing her again.

She'll definately notice number 2,and wonder why. If you go from constantly calling and/or texting her trying to spend time with her,to her not hearing from you for 2 days,and when you do finally talk to her again,you didn't saying anything about wanting to see her,she'll wonder what the deal is.

Then,more than likely,she'll ask you about when she can see you again.

You can go 2 days of no contact. It won't kill you.

Just keep yourself preoccupied with other things so your mind won't be on her.

 

[Brighty]

It depends. When was the last time you two interacted with each other? If it was yesterday,then go at least one or two more days of no contact. I say go at least two days in between contacts....ESPECIALLY if you're the one who contacted her last.

Now let's say you do this and she contacts you at the end of the two days,or before then. What you do is you talk to her,ask her what's up/what she's been up to,get a little conversation going....but don't spend too much time talking to her.

Then what you do....and this is HUGE....you end the phone call WITHOUT saying anything about you two getting together.

I'll repeat that last part.

End the phonecall WITHOUT asking her about when you two will see each other again.

Toughen up Brighty. Stop needing her.

Now if you do this,my guess is that she'll notice that...

1:You went 2 days without calling or texting her (which she probably isn't used to). And...
2:When you two did finally reestablish contact and talk for a while,you didn't say anything about seeing her again.

She'll definately notice number 2,and wonder why. If you go from constantly calling and/or texting her trying to spend time with her,to her not hearing from you for 2 days,and when you do finally talk to her again,you didn't saying anything about wanting to see her,she'll wonder what the deal is.

Then,more than likely,she'll ask you about when she can see you again.

You can go 2 days of no contact. It won't kill you.

Just keep yourself preoccupied with other things so your mind won't be on her.

Well, I was over at my friends house and I didn't get to read this until now. Just FYI, I wasn't clingy or anything in person, she just caught me off guard last night with the text about going swimming which I thought was an invitation and I let my guard down. I played it perfectly in person.


Anyway, here's what happened (Keep in mind I didn't read your post until now):

She texts me the "sorry I fell asleep" and I decided not to respond. Lo and behold she texts me again two hours later asking me what I was up to. I told her I was hanging out with a friend from college and asked her if she had any plans tonight. She said she was at an open house with some of her friends and "can you say chocolate-covered strawberries". I guess no, I could not, because I didn't text her back. An hour later she texts me again and asks me what we're up to, so I text her back and tell her that we're just hanging out and said what about you. She responds with "Hmmmmmmm..." so then I figured she has no idea what shes doing later and said "well, your a little slow, take your time" and then she responded "baha "


Go ahead and critique it. Its like a knee-jerk reaction to perpetuate the conversation forward and follow up her question with another question (e.g. what are you doing?) but is she just putting me through a ****-test or is she just trying to play shy?

I'm kind of I'm getting the vibe that I shouldn't of responded to any of those?

 

[Igetit!]

A simple question: What do you want from this girl?

Another question: Does she know what your intentions are?

 

[NewAndImproved]

Nevermind what she's doing. What about you? What do you want to do? Meet up with her...right? So take the lead and make plans with her.

 

[Brighty]

A simple question: What do you want from this girl?

Another question: Does she know what your intentions are?

To pursue her and see where this goes, whether it be a summer fling or a relationship. I sort of see her as relationship material.

And I'm pretty sure she has an idea of what my intentions are, from the way we were at the get-together and the nature of my texts.

Nevermind what she's doing. What about you? What do you want to do? Meet up with her...right? So take the lead and make plans with her.

You're right. I just felt like I needed to cool off a bit and not be so quick to make another move after going into chode territory last night with "swimming pool" texts.