oh Lawd ---- Dear Abby section ----

Maximummax

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DEAR ABBY: My husband keeps all our financial information, be it bank accounts, statements, savings, investments, etc., away from me. He has been unemployed for more than three years and keeps telling me we need to economize, which I do.

When I ask him to let me know what our finances are, he tells me, “We’re running out of money.” He keeps everything a secret, and when I asked, “What if something terrible happens? What shall I do?” he said, “You will be informed.” What kind of an attitude is that? He says he doesn’t trust me with money because he thinks I’ll spend it all. We sold our house for more than a million dollars and I never saw a penny in my name, let alone a bank account.

I don’t have a job. I’m a full-time student right now. I’m concerned whether I should get a divorce. Your thoughts, Abby? — IN THE DARK IN NEW JERSEY

DEAR IN THE DARK: It would be interesting to know where the money you and your husband are living on is coming from, and how your education is being financed.

It appears your husband is withholding financial information as a means of controlling you. I do think you should consult a lawyer, not necessarily to discuss a divorce, but to find out once and for all what your rights are as a wife in the state of New Jersey.
 

zekko

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I think the man should run the finances, presuming he is capable. But that doesn't mean the woman should be left completely in the dark about the state of their finances, if she is interested. I agree with Abby, the guy sounds shady.
 

Yewki

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Sounds like a princess in a castle complaining about the view from her window. When she says "our house" and "our finances" I take it what she really means is "his house" and "his finances." The guy doesn't trust her spending "his money." I'm guessing she never had money or a legit career and has been leeching off the guy.

Full-time student with no job wants to know how much money her unemployed husband still has left, or else will get a divorce. First world problems. She's trying to decide whether jumping ship to another chump is economical. The guy probably knows this and doesn't want to reveal his hand. If she finds out he still has a lot of money, she'll be inclined to get a divorce and take as much as possible. If she finds out he has no money, she'll also want to get a divorce. Better for him she doesn't know anything. His mistake was getting married in the first place.
 

hithard

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I once had a guy boast how he gave all his wages to his wife at the end of the week to pay the bills and save. I politely told him he was a "idiot". He then tried to tell me thats how it is when your a man. I impolitely told him he was a "farken idiot". It got fairly heated when I suggested he should rethink and control the money.

Fast forward a couple months and I see him at the shops. He now tells me he controls all the money. Good for him but why the change? Well his wife had spent all the money for the bills and all their savings. So now he is behind in bills and has no money, plus he resents his wife. Good for you dikhead.

Always have a separate stash of cash and investments that can be held away from prying eyes and the law.
 

VladPatton

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See, that's the thing, you can't really hide jack shît from your "wife"! That's it, son, she's in on the deal, like it or not. If you have a million dollar house, 50% of that is her's by law. Look, just don't get married and if you do, consult a team of lawyers to protects your shît. Put it all in your momma's name if you have to. In case of a divorce she can suck it cause you don't own dîck legally. Take the house, take the car, take the couch. Oh, no, wait, I don't own that lol.
 
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