Oh, god, I can't believe I'm here

Colton

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First post on this board, or any like it.

Huh.

I've read the Game and all that, and Style was right about one thing: In many ways, going to a community like this is an admission of failure, of some kind.

I hate failing at things. I hate it more than anything else in the world.

I am sixteen years old. I have never had a girlfriend. I've never been kissed, much less gotten any kind of advanced sexual actions. I've never even been on a date. Not once.

Now, I can't figure out the reason for my startling lack of success. I'm fairly handsome. I'm ridiculously intelligent, I really am hilarious, and I'm generally pretty confident in most things. I'm one of the more popular kids in my highschool. Most people know and like me, in a bunch of clubs and activities (don't like sports much, though), get invited to stuff, all that bull****. Until recently, I didn't go to parties because of a misguided sense of honesty and over-protective parents. Recently, they've lightened up so that's good.

And I have to admit, I'm irrationally scared of women. Really, I know it's stupid, I know there's no harm coming, but I am. This fear stems from ignorance- I don't know how to ask a girl out, what to do once I do, etcetra.

Saddest thing is this: I've read PU material for about four years now. It started from a strong interest in psychology I developed in 7th grade (that's how I found out about this). I know all the ****, all the techniques, etc. But the problems were threefold:
First, and most importantly, me. I have the aformentioned irrational fear, and low-self confidence in the area of women due to no success. I have a bad case of pancake ass. Partly, it's because I just enjoy the subject (it's really interesting).

Second, my lack of knowledge is so ridiculously basic that I have no ****ing idea how to get to the stage where I'm on some kind of date.

Third, most of the material isn't that applicable to highschool.

I've been into self-improvement for almost as long. Since 9th grade I've kept a binder with updated yearly, monthly, and weekly goals. It seems to have worked for all areas but women- I've grown a lot, personally.

I'm almost entirely happy with my life, but there's just this one nagging area that isn't working. And it's not like me to have let such a major thing go on for so long with so many opportunities to fix it.

I hate having to ask for help, but: please help.

So there. That's out.


I guess this post is kind of whiny and worthless and really tl;dr. If so, oh well. I guess it's stuff that's been pent up inside for a while, and I wanted to get it all down.

Hi. My name is Colton, and I'm terrible with women.
 

War Against Betaism

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I've been through your situation; I wasn't very good with women when I was 16 as well. Read a lot of the material and was afraid of going through the growing pains. Believe me, it sucked, but let me tell you, it was more than worth it. I was ridiculed for it a lot of the time by my old friends, but now I'm a very confident outgoing and likable person that everyone really loves. You just have to literally throw yourself into the fire. It's frightening, but you'll come out as a man. It is much easier said than done, but eventually you WILL have to face your fears. There isn't any amount of reading that will compensate for this, just do it.
 

Five To One

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Colton said:
Hi. My name is Colton, and I'm terrible with women.

haha i love it

I hope we can help you out

but you say you have been reading about our methods or similiar methods for several years now?
Sounds like its time to take action and put your knowledge of the game to the test.


You said you have never kissed or even gone on a date. Thats fine theres plently of guys in the same boat.
My question is what about casual flirting? or is it that you just freeze when you know you should be making a move.


btw I wouldnt say that most of the material is useless for high schoolers. The street pickups and your bar game isnt nesessary but attraction and social proof and the way way you hold yourself is all similiar wheither your in high school or 35.
heres some good articles
read from the attraction and body language sections.


check out the dj bible too if you already havent. There is a link at the bottem of the page for it.
 

TheGunslinger

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I'm not the best person to give advice on this subject, but I felt this would be a good time to finally post.

I can't tell you how weird this is for me after reading your post; I'm literally exactly the same. I'm intelligent, funny (not to sound big headed or anything :p ) and I'm very sociable and well liked. But I also have somewhat of a fear of women. I don't know why, and I don't know where it came from, but it's there. I have no trouble when I start talking to them, but it's initiating and getting the confidence to just talk to them that's the problem.

I've been on this site for a month or so now, and I've read a fair amount of material. All I can say is; read the stuff here a step at a time. Digest it and look at it from your own perspective. Learn from it. Then, and this is the most important part, go out and try it and apply it.

I've done this, I'm taking it a step at a time, and the results have been amazing. I've barely been at school for more than a few weeks and already there's been a massive change. Coming here may be admitting you're bad with women, but that's not a fault. That's a major first step and hurdle you've overcome. Now you just have to deal with the problem.

I think one of the most important things I've learnt from the site is that this isn't about the women, it's about you. The focus is on you and no-one else. Grow, learn, and most importantly (in my opinion), learn to be a man. I think this is what my 'journey', if you like, on here is all about. To better myself and make the transition from a teenager to a man.

I'll be interested to hear your progress in the future. Good luck. :D
 

In Motion

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First of all, welcome. Coming here does not mean you have failed at anything.

Unless you have already read it read Pooks Fifteen lessons:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=59150

Hopefully this will help you with your confidence problems, and I have to say, confidence is EVERYTHING. It will get you places you couldn't even have dreamed of.

Ive always naturally been good with women, coming here just pushed me over the edge to a fullblown Don Juan. You will learn alot here young grasshopper, and hopefully achieve your goals.

If you are really looking for a challenge, try the bootcamp! But alter the challenges according to a 16 year old.

I remember, once when I was 15. I had huge oneitis for this girl, turning me into a driveling AFC, she actually had a crush on me too, but i was such a pµssy i didnt do anything about it. Eventually we drifted apart and I moved on. This was when I understood that i had to get past this invisible barrier that separated AFC from Don Juan. One night I went to a party with my friends, brimming with confidence. One girl there was attracted to me, so I decided; its now or never. I made my move and kissed her. It felt like a gigantic platform of donkeys had been lifted from my back. I ended up having sex with her that night.

I wish you the best of luck friend, if you have any questions, just ask. People here are helpful and understanding. My advice for now though, is: Just cross the barrier, be outgoing, confident and fun. Go to parties and have fun, try to make out with a few girls. Be a DJ.
 

Colton

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TheGunslinger said:
I'm not the best person to give advice on this subject, but I felt this would be a good time to finally post.

I can't tell you how weird this is for me after reading your post; I'm literally exactly the same. I'm intelligent, funny (not to sound big headed or anything :p ) and I'm very sociable and well liked. But I also have somewhat of a fear of women. I don't know why, and I don't know where it came from, but it's there. I have no trouble when I start talking to them, but it's initiating and getting the confidence to just talk to them that's the problem.

I've been on this site for a month or so now, and I've read a fair amount of material. All I can say is; read the stuff here a step at a time. Digest it and look at it from your own perspective. Learn from it. Then, and this is the most important part, go out and try it and apply it.

I've done this, I'm taking it a step at a time, and the results have been amazing. I've barely been at school for more than a few weeks and already there's been a massive change. Coming here may be admitting you're bad with women, but that's not a fault. That's a major first step and hurdle you've overcome. Now you just have to deal with the problem.

I think one of the most important things I've learnt from the site is that this isn't about the women, it's about you. The focus is on you and no-one else. Grow, learn, and most importantly (in my opinion), learn to be a man. I think this is what my 'journey', if you like, on here is all about. To better myself and make the transition from a teenager to a man.

I'll be interested to hear your progress in the future. Good luck. :D
Apparently, we have the same taste in books too.

Anyway, I'm posting here because hopefully it'll give me a sense of accountibility. Probably not the most alpha/dj/super-confident-pua-guy thing to do, but it's something that's worked in the past.

Thanks for the support, by the way. And yeah, I recently read the whole "HS Guide" and "Best of motivation" threads, so I didn't come in with 1000 already answered questions.

So first question: How do I know
1.) When it's been appropriate to ask a girl out on a date
2.) How to do it?

Right now, I'm thinking that as long as I can find a place in the conversation where I'd ask a guy for his number (you know, hang out, w/e), and then get hers. At that point, call a few days later of whenever and ask "hey would you like to go do X"?

That about right?
 

Five To One

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Its high school so you dont even need to that formal.
If you dont act like its a big deal that your asking to hang out then it wont be.

After talking to a girl for a while at school just casually ask,"hey im not doing anything tonight, wanna hang out?"
If she says sure then exchange numbers so you can contact her later to figure out the details of the "hanging out", what time and to give directions to your house or whatever.

Sometimes you will see them look like a deer caught in headlights as they think of a lame excuse so just be playful about it and next her. ex. "Allllright I see how it is" with a grin and move on.

Just be playful about it.
Its that easy
 

Triple T

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stop reading all this damn material and just go out and apply it!!

Seriously, just go out there and experience it in the field. You'll learn oh so much more from first hand experiences rather than reading countless articles and "techniques" on how to get women.

Sure at first you'll have a few failures, but you'll learn from them won't you?
Once you learn what NOT to do and what TO do then it'll all just come naturally and what not.

I personally think all this reading and crap is BS. You'll learn so much more by just going out and learning for yourself. Oh and most of this dating stuff is geared towards older women who have had more men than HS girls. Most HS girls are MUCH MUCH easier to game.

Good luck bro! Get out there now! :rockon:
 

Colton

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I got a date today, so that's good. thanks for the encouragement. Now for the date part.
 

Triple T

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Colton said:
I got a date today, so that's good. thanks for the encouragement. Now for the date part.
Good job bro! :rockon:

For your date just act normal. Be relaxed, and don't hesitate to do anything. If you want to kiss her, go for it, if you want to hold her hand, go for it. Just make sure its in the mood.

Show her a good time on the date, (where are you going anyways?) and at the end of the date maybe you'll get a kiss-close and then BAM!, gf + bf! :cool:
 

KontrollerX

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"In many ways, going to a community like this is an admission of failure, of some kind."

Actually thats just one man's personal opinion and a negative one at that.

Another way to look at it is coming to a place like this is the result of losing your way on the path to a successful life.

In short this place is the guide post that leads lost travellers back to the road of success.
 

Colton

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Triple T said:
Good job bro! :rockon:

For your date just act normal. Be relaxed, and don't hesitate to do anything. If you want to kiss her, go for it, if you want to hold her hand, go for it. Just make sure its in the mood.

Show her a good time on the date, (where are you going anyways?) and at the end of the date maybe you'll get a kiss-close and then BAM!, gf + bf! :cool:
I don't think I'll have too much of a problem on the date part. I'm fairly personable.
I'm going out on Wednesday, so I have some time to figure out **** to do. I don't think it will matter, the girl is kind of, well, dumb, so I'm probably going for something shiny with lots of distractions.

Also to the poster above, I understand your viewpoint, but it always felt like self-deception to say that it's completely normal and healthy to go and read people who, basically, apply the scientific method to getting laid.
 

War Against Betaism

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Scientific method? Did you think that people here are injecting drugs into their systems to "scientifically" up their game? It's really not smart to treat this place as if it was a drug rehab clinic and it was our last resort to getting our d1cks wet; how does that make us feel? And nothing is artificial about our methods. sosuave is unique because it concentrates on inner game moreso than techniques. It is no different than asking a friend for help on a girl you like.
 

Chase12

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Dude think like that movie, the 40 year old virgin... Go to a party and look for the drunk *****es, vomit on the hair, ****ed up heels thats all a good sign..

Seriously tho, if ur that uptight, i would grab some beers and relax some, we dont want u to puke ur guts out, on the other hand. Actually i left alcohol for a couple months ( i just been smoking too much damn pot) and last saturday i got wasted and damn man it ****ing ups ur game.. i mean i normally aint afraid of talking to girls but being wasted just make things flow perfectly and u just dont give a **** if a girl is being a *****.

Man do you live in the US? Dude getting layed there is easier than rolling a joint.. really man
 

Void

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Colton said:
Hi. My name is Colton, and I'm terrible with women.

HHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rofl.

You were right. You are damn funny.

Dude I'll tell you one thing, after reading your post I immediately like you and find that I'm really similar to you. I've been "studying" all this pua stuff since 7th grade as well. It helps, but at the same time, it doesn't.

I don't have time to make a drawn out answer but the best advice is simple and short. Here it goes. Get off this site and go talk and hang out with as many girls as possible.

You'll learn more in one day talking to girls than you will reading advice from a bunch of guys who are having problems from girls.
 

Colton

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Well I suffered basically the most crushing rejection ever today.

And it was GREAT.

Asked a girl out to homecoming who I thought was in to me. I guess I drastically misread her signals, because she responded by laughing for two minutes.

And guess what? Nothing what so ever happened. Didn't turn purple and start sprouting boils, didn't have some hulking boyfriend come out of nowhere to kick my ass, didn't break down into a gibbering mass of tears, didn't even get made fun of more than a bit.

The girl was kind of crazy so it's not that bad.

Then it was announced that I won Junior Class Homecoming King next period.

I really don't see how I can ever be afraid of rejection again. I mean, after having someone laugh hysterically like that, I don't see how I can get a worse rejection.

Oh, date also went...okay, not great. Didn't kiss because I got nervous (this stuff is way easier when you're reading it). Also, I learned that I kind of hated the girl because she was vapid, shallow, and judgemental. Also, easily offended and couldn't really take a joke that well.

So yeah, that sucked.
 

SinJester

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I wrote a huge reply to this awhile ago. My computer decided to take that moment to do something strange (as computers do) and delete the whole thing. It went somewhere along the lines of having a massive list of some of the pickup material I've read and telling you to stop reading it.

The DJ Bible more times than I can recall. Double You Dating, Body Language DVDs, ****y Comedy DVDs Man Tansformation - by David DeAngelo. The Blueprint Decoded 20 DVDs set, Transformations, Foundations - by Real Social Dynamics. How To Be A Pickup Artist - Juggler. How To Be The Jerk Women Love - FJ Shark. The Venusian Arts Handbook - Mystery. Magic Bullets - The Mystery Method (Savoy). Real World Seduction - Swinggcat. Enlightened Seduction - Zan. Power Of Presence, Power Of Appreciation, A bunch of inner circle CDs - Authentic Man Program. Body Language and Kino by Pickup 101. Mode One - Alan Roger Currie. David X's ebook. The Attraction Code - Vin DiCarlo.

Yep that's some of the stuff I've read/seen/listened to about pickup. Aka TOO MUCH. Oh and I started back in year 8, now I'm in senior year. I got a lot out of it. Would I recommend it to anyone? No! Not one person needs all that. Hell it didn't even help me very much. When it comes down to it you can read as much as you like and you won’t be any better off. It's like reading about how to swim compared to actually learning. At some point you've got to jump in. Eventually you will laugh about how you didn't know how to.

I just think it's funny that Colton said he has read too much material and the first few replies tell him to go read more. I think you’re on the right track now. Reading your first post it sounded like your only problem was that you were a ****y prick (jokes) so I don't think you will have any trouble whatsoever once you have a little experience.

Don't worry it wasn't so much an admission of failure as the start of success. Honestly there are very few guys who actually know what to do with women. Even the guys who are successful probably have no idea how they do it. The thing is almost no one will admit it.

Well I suffered basically the most crushing rejection ever today.

And it was GREAT.

Asked a girl out to homecoming who I thought was in to me. I guess I drastically misread her signals, because she responded by laughing for two minutes.

And guess what? Nothing what so ever happened. Didn't turn purple and start sprouting boils, didn't have some hulking boyfriend come out of nowhere to kick my ass, didn't break down into a gibbering mass of tears, didn't even get made fun of more than a bit.
lol that's brilliant. There's no such thing as faliure, or a mistake, there's just experience. Same with your date.

To end this I'll just quote something I've posted a few times and I will probably post a few more times before I'm done. This is what Sean Messenger told me. He is a former instructor of Pickup 101 and now has his own company LV03:

STOP reading pickup material right now.

You don't need it. What you need is to start living your life and being as social as you can.

...Practice talking to as many people (esp. as many GIRLS) as you can every day.

And again, do NOT read pickup material. NONE of it is designed for a 17-year old. It's all designed for coke-head club girls in LA. For real.

Love,

Sean
Don't worry, when we are chasing crack *****s in LA all this will come in handy!
 

2.0

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Colton said:
I'm fairly handsome. I'm ridiculously intelligent, I really am hilarious, and I'm generally pretty confident in most things. I'm one of the more popular kids in my highschool.
You have your answer right there. :rolleyes:
 

Colton

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2.0 said:
You have your answer right there. :rolleyes:
urgh. I know. I read over that and thought I sounded like a huge *******, but I was just trying to give as honest an assessment of myself as could. Really.
 
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