jackofasses
Don Juan
Ok, here's hoping that this doesn't turn into a random rant/insult the poster thread.
I'm posting it here because I wonder how many people might actually respond and how many people this might apply to. I'm sure it gets dealt with quite a bit and maybe it'll be a refreshing change from all the "Girl x wants to leave me! what do i do!" or "I want to approach this girl! How do i do it!" or even "So you have herpes and your life is over" type threads.
Anyway, since starting the last thread (and reading some of the links given by all those positive people as well as others which were suggested to me the other day) I have gone out.. done some things, talked to some friends, ex's and random people.
I listen to alot of stuff on this forum about the desire for love and how you'll never find it.. lots of stuff about that on here and some people disbelieving the concept all together.
I don't like to discount that it is possible, that there is someone out there for everybody (even the ****ed up ones because you see it daily as they walk the streets) not JUST the Don Juans. I believe in love, that you can find it (or rather, that it will find you) and that it is a real part of truly being happy and satisfied with life. You can love, love freely and without restrain.. just be careful of obsession/posession.
I myself am guilty of obsessivness/posessiveness. It's what brought me here, and why I am going into therapy. I do not however blame it on love.
I have posted once or twice about fear... sadly I think most of them have been deleted (rather the threads they were in got deleted). Posessiveness/obsession is a direct result of fear. Being afraid of something (losing someone, being stared at, being judged) leads to having insecurities.. those insecurities build up and make you question yourself.. so on and so forth. As long as you can love without FEARING the loss of someone or worrying about all the what ifs.. you should be able to eliminate obsession.
Posessiveness can be caused by fear as well.. you need to feel in control, to make sure she'll never leave, to not give her any room to give her that chance. It is a product of fear and obsession.
Only when you can get past fear can you truly love someone. This is why self improvement is powerful, it empowers you to be fearless about YOU and the things you do. Do i believe in all the games? About the call at this time, don't call then, don't do this. No, I don't believe a word of it. Why? because if you're focussing on these things.. these.. tools.. you may be successful, but it is not natural. By being fearless.. by calling when you want.. by not needing to worrying what will happen if you don't call her when she asks you to.. you are doing things YOUR way and it is NATURAL. It takes away the stress of the planning and waiting and all the other crap that JUST playing the game will give you.
Not sure if that makes sense. But it sounded good in my head... then again.. there's a marching band up there.
Feedback is welcome.
edit: probably should put something about fear in the title... dah well..
I'm posting it here because I wonder how many people might actually respond and how many people this might apply to. I'm sure it gets dealt with quite a bit and maybe it'll be a refreshing change from all the "Girl x wants to leave me! what do i do!" or "I want to approach this girl! How do i do it!" or even "So you have herpes and your life is over" type threads.
Anyway, since starting the last thread (and reading some of the links given by all those positive people as well as others which were suggested to me the other day) I have gone out.. done some things, talked to some friends, ex's and random people.
I listen to alot of stuff on this forum about the desire for love and how you'll never find it.. lots of stuff about that on here and some people disbelieving the concept all together.
I don't like to discount that it is possible, that there is someone out there for everybody (even the ****ed up ones because you see it daily as they walk the streets) not JUST the Don Juans. I believe in love, that you can find it (or rather, that it will find you) and that it is a real part of truly being happy and satisfied with life. You can love, love freely and without restrain.. just be careful of obsession/posession.
I myself am guilty of obsessivness/posessiveness. It's what brought me here, and why I am going into therapy. I do not however blame it on love.
I have posted once or twice about fear... sadly I think most of them have been deleted (rather the threads they were in got deleted). Posessiveness/obsession is a direct result of fear. Being afraid of something (losing someone, being stared at, being judged) leads to having insecurities.. those insecurities build up and make you question yourself.. so on and so forth. As long as you can love without FEARING the loss of someone or worrying about all the what ifs.. you should be able to eliminate obsession.
Posessiveness can be caused by fear as well.. you need to feel in control, to make sure she'll never leave, to not give her any room to give her that chance. It is a product of fear and obsession.
Only when you can get past fear can you truly love someone. This is why self improvement is powerful, it empowers you to be fearless about YOU and the things you do. Do i believe in all the games? About the call at this time, don't call then, don't do this. No, I don't believe a word of it. Why? because if you're focussing on these things.. these.. tools.. you may be successful, but it is not natural. By being fearless.. by calling when you want.. by not needing to worrying what will happen if you don't call her when she asks you to.. you are doing things YOUR way and it is NATURAL. It takes away the stress of the planning and waiting and all the other crap that JUST playing the game will give you.
Not sure if that makes sense. But it sounded good in my head... then again.. there's a marching band up there.
Feedback is welcome.
edit: probably should put something about fear in the title... dah well..