Obsessed over her (pedophile) ex boyfriend, and sexual history - how do I stop?!

[sirhummous]

So I've been seeing this girl for almost 3 months now, pretty damn solidly (as we've been living together), and it's become fairly serious. We both have very strong feelings, etc. and I've gotten past the point where I want to **** other women.

However, despite all the advice I've attempted to take from this website about not being an AFC, and being a "real man", etc. there still remains one major problem: I'm worried about her ex boyfriend.

Firstly, she has assured me that she's never felt the way she has before about anyone else but me, and that she thinks or wants about nobody else but me. And that's fair enough... BUT, she also admits that the sex with her ex boyfriend was "a little bit" better, because he had years of experience with her, and had a smaller **** which was more comfortable than my (sometimes painful) larger one. Despite the fact that she had somehow complemented my **** size, I took this as a huge blow to my ego and have been worrying about not being "the best" sex that she has ever had.

Secondly, I resent the fact that this guy had four years of experience with her. When they met, he was 22 and she was just 15... he took her virginity, which makes me so ****ing angry and incensed that I feel animalistic rage when I think about it. Also, she later discovered kiddy porn pictures on his PC, but stayed with him for a while after that. The fact that she didn't dump him, and that he is apparently a dirty pedophile REALLY enrages me, and I get horrible images of him deflowering her and enjoying every ****ing minute of it, the dirty ****er. :trouble:

Finally, she remains on friendly/good terms with the ex. They have no regular contact at all, but she admits to me that if they were to meet, she would feel pangs of guilt for breaking up with him since he claims he is still madly in love with her (although she has no interest in him).

So, DJs - should any of the above have me worried? Am I just being an insecure, petty ****wad who needs to leave the past where it belongs?

Your thoughts, please - all of them. Thanks.

 

[scrouds]

dude, you have me worried. 3 months and you're already living together. "Enraged" for no good reason. Penis envy cause your diick is too big.

Fucckin chill man. chill out.

 

[Tarzan the Ape Man!]

So I've been seeing this girl for almost 3 months now, pretty damn solidly (as we've been living together), and it's become fairly serious. We both have very strong feelings, etc. and I've gotten past the point where I want to **** other women.

However, despite all the advice I've attempted to take from this website about not being an AFC, and being a "real man", etc. there still remains one major problem: I'm worried about her ex boyfriend.

Firstly, she has assured me that she's never felt the way she has before about anyone else but me, and that she thinks or wants about nobody else but me. And that's fair enough... BUT, she also admits that the sex with her ex boyfriend was "a little bit" better, because he had years of experience with her, and had a smaller **** which was more comfortable than my (sometimes painful) larger one. Despite the fact that she had somehow complemented my **** size, I took this as a huge blow to my ego and have been worrying about not being "the best" sex that she has ever had.

Secondly, I resent the fact that this guy had four years of experience with her. When they met, he was 22 and she was just 15... he took her virginity, which makes me so ****ing angry and incensed that I feel animalistic rage when I think about it. Also, she later discovered kiddy porn pictures on his PC, but stayed with him for a while after that. The fact that she didn't dump him, and that he is apparently a dirty pedophile REALLY enrages me, and I get horrible images of him deflowering her and enjoying every ****ing minute of it, the dirty ****er. :trouble:

Finally, she remains on friendly/good terms with the ex. They have no regular contact at all, but she admits to me that if they were to meet, she would feel pangs of guilt for breaking up with him since he claims he is still madly in love with her (although she has no interest in him).

So, DJs - should any of the above have me worried? Am I just being an insecure, petty ****wad who needs to leave the past where it belongs?

Your thoughts, please - all of them. Thanks.

Tarzan say: Listen Tarzan young warrior! Do NOT get upset that you Jane's ex want to be reincarnation of Michael Jackson and use little ones as his sparkled glove hand puppets! True he take her virginity! BUT......One day he get taken away to far away camp.......where big hairy Green Mile size warriors take HIS virginity......from his hind quarters! She will prefer you giant spear over his enlarged poop chute! :moon: Trust Tarzan!

Learn to control ones powerful spear when slaying you woman! Then she will like much better! Unga!!!!

 

[KontrollerX]

"I'm worried about her ex boyfriend."

Don't let her know that. That'll sink your ship faster than anything else as it will make you come off like an insecure D-bag as well just in general make you look like the lesser man since if you're openly worried about this guy to her then well well well...he must really be something!

So don't be giving her any ideas in this regard.

"Firstly, she has assured me that she's never felt the way she has before about anyone else"

Doesn't mean anything. Thats what they all say. Actions not words is what you need to go on with women for the most part.

"BUT, she also admits that the sex with her ex boyfriend was "a little bit" better, because he had years of experience with her, and had a smaller **** which was more comfortable than my (sometimes painful) larger one. Despite the fact that she had somehow complemented my **** size, I took this as a huge blow to my ego and have been worrying about not being "the best" sex that she has ever had."

She was lying to soften the blow to your ego. In reality his c0ck was Peter North's compared to yours. Women's vagina's can expand large enough to accomodate just about any size human penis. Think that far fetched? Well when you remember that a baby comes out of that hole you won't.

The years of experience thing was a half truth. Yeah she did have years of experience with him but her saying that this is the reason he was better is just a weak attempt to lend credibility to the "his c0ck is smaller than yours" lie.

Still her honesty about you not being a dynamo in the sack is admirable albeit soul destroying.

She was at least honest in that regard.

P.S: Great sex doesn't necessarily hold a relationship together. It helps but it helps more to be inside a woman's head than inside her vagina at keeping the b!tch loyal to you.

"Secondly, I resent the fact that this guy had four years of experience with her. When they met, he was 22 and she was just 15... he took her virginity, which makes me so ****ing angry and incensed that I feel animalistic rage when I think about it."

Well your priorities/feelings are all mixed up and misplaced as you should only feel this way if she cheated on you. You should not give a fvck who was boning her before you as that was not a betrayel or demeaning of you like cheating would be. She was in a totally different relationship then. Now sure I know the majority of guys are bothered by a girl not being a virgin when they get with her but thats just the reality of our time that we all unfortunately are forced to get used to if we want to mentally survive.

In future relationships you have don't be asking a girl questions like who she was with before you and how many partners she had as its just going to fvck your mind up and p!ss you off again and besides women lie about the real number of guys they've been with anyway.

"Also, she later discovered kiddy porn pictures on his PC, but stayed with him for a while after that. The fact that she didn't dump him, and that he is apparently a dirty pedophile REALLY enrages me, and I get horrible images of him deflowering her and enjoying every ****ing minute of it, the dirty ****er."

She stayed with him because she like all women is amoral in relationships which means the girl's emotions and lust based feelings towards her man are more important than any crimes or foul behavior he does to others. That stuff doesn't even factor in with women. Only how you make her feel matters. Which means you could be Jack the Ripper and she'd still be dripping wet for you if you do it for her mentally with your game being so good.

Actually with the amount of fanmail serial killers get from women in prison being a Jack the Ripper type would actually probably improve the amount your woman is turned on by you though yeah I don't recommend becoming a career criminal...just saying.

"Finally, she remains on friendly/good terms with the ex. They have no regular contact at all, but she admits to me that if they were to meet, she would feel pangs of guilt for breaking up with him since he claims he is still madly in love with her (although she has no interest in him).

So, DJs - should any of the above have me worried? Am I just being an insecure, petty ****wad who needs to leave the past where it belongs?

Your thoughts, please - all of them. Thanks."

She's still friendly with him because you have zero frame and she's not all that into you.

When you first begin a relationship with a chick at the very beginning you need to cooly go over your do's and don'ts list and let her decide whether she is going to stay or go under that frame you set up.

If she doesn't like your way you boot her ass out the door with no regrets.

If she accepts your deal then congratulations you got a new female on your team.

You just have to be man enough to hold to your frame and drop her on the first deviation of it.

You can sit her down and talk to her about what she did wrong first and if she repeats that wrong you kick her out of your life and off your team.

If she goes nuts and begs to get back with you under your terms make her squirm for a few weeks by not responding to her and remaining no contact with her. When you eventually talk to her after a few weeks she will of learned her lesson and be more into you than ever.

So yeah tell a b!tch upfront no talking to ex's or you and she are not going forward with the relationship. Thats setting the frame and again she can take it or leave it.

Also getting back to her not being that into you...

She tells you so casually about that other guy because the second she gets a chance to be with him again you are history. You did not capture her heart. You are but a placeholder until the big and better deal comes along.

You should dump her right now, let her squirm for a few weeks and then take her back under a new frame you will construct. If she squirms at all for you to take her back it will be a result of her ego being crushed and brought back down to size by you a guy she was not all that into. She will need to repair that crushed ego and the only way to do it will be to get your approval again. By making her wait so long you provoke anxiety in her which she will interpret as love as this is how the fvcked up female mind works.

If you don't do this eventually she will be back with the pedo guy or someone else because for the billionth time she's just not all that into you. You have to do something big such as breakup with her to up your value in her eyes. Most AFC's don't have the balls to do that and I doubt you have the balls either to do that so you will just have to learn the hard way.

Sorry bro. If you can defeat your AFC side and do what I told ya you'll be successful and have her at your command and under your power.

If you don't do what I tell ya you'll be here or at Loveshack.org in a few months talking about how this girl dropped you like a meteorite.

 

[Joe Stud]

This guy writes a book each time he answers. Does anyone actually reads it entirely?

 

[KontrollerX]

This guy writes a book each time he answers. Does anyone actually reads it entirely?

Wipe the spittle off your chin tard boy.

 

[Scars]

KontrollerX is probably one of the most knowledgeable here joe. And yes, a lot of us read his posts. He doesn't surgar coat ****. He tells it how it is, and that's the way it should be.

 

[Warrior74]

KontrollerX knocked it out of the park. I say mentally prepare to walk. Doing all the tricks and powerplays aren't worth the damn work in my opinion. Once I realize she doesn't think i'm the sh1t in bed and shes openly telling me about another dude, it's time to go. She's made up her mind that you're second string...so **** it move on mentally. That way if the power plays do work, your not obessing on it. It's already dead in your mind and your just playing to enjoy the rest of the game while you look for someone else and start making plans to get her out of your crib. Good luck.

 

[Skydiver43127]

Frankly, if I knew a girl was friends with a pedophile I'd dump her on the spot, everything else aside. I'm not a judgemental person, but this is where I draw the line.

If you even want her follow the good advice KontrollerX and Warrior74 gave you. Dump her on the ground that the whole "friends with a pedophile" thing is disqusting and you won't tolerate it. If she wants to fix things it's kind of obvious what she shoud do.

And try to avoid using the word "deflowering". In this situation as well as in general.

 

[sirhummous]

Thanks for all the replies, guys.

I should make a few things clear: this is totally my problem. Had I been fine, she would have said absolutely nothing about her boyfriend - I was the insecure one who literally forced her to tell me all the explicit details about her past relationships, including admitting to my own rather obvious shortcomings in sex.

Also, she was still friendly with the ex before she even met me. Not that it makes much difference, but they don't have regular contact. Again, all of these issues surfaced because of ME being insecure enough to ask for the details. Living together is a must because of college terms, etc. dictating when and where we can see each other.
Finally, I truly believe the **** size thing - my bigger **** has caused a fair share of problems and she's been visibly upset at some points or frustrated because of it. I sincerely doubt she is softening the blow by pretending the other guy had a smaller ****.

So what I was asking was not really advice about her, but really about ME. How the hell do I stop myself obsessing over this ****? It's her past, it's happened, and I know bringing it up in her mind will definitely not help us move forward. But knowing that is not enough, it seems... please help.

 

[DJDamage]

However, despite all the advice I've attempted to take from this website about not being an AFC, and being a "real man", etc. there still remains one major problem: I'm worried about her ex boyfriend.

Your major problem would not be a problem if you didn't ignore alot of other good advice on here.

First off, your major error was dating 1 girl for 3 months and then moving in with her. You should have been spining plates because you would have had other options and wouldn't have settled for a girl with an ex boyfriend still in the picture. What are you doing moving in with her after 3 months?! this girl in my eyes is not worthy to be in LTR let alone move with someone based upon the little information you told us about what she told you.

This girl is what she is. You choose her knowing her faults so there is nothing to fix here but you either accept her knowing fully well that she still lusts for her ex boyfriend c0ck and under the right circumstances will make her ass available for him or you dump her ass now.