Observations on this forum

Plinco

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I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed this. Whenever people complain about about something, people generally agree on what the problems are. Whenever members give newbies basic advice, people generally agree on basic concepts. However, whenever an abstract solution gets hammered out, that's when some members get at each others throats. Is this a result of different philosophies? Different cognitive preferences?

Is there a way to solve this problem or is this a permanent feature of this forum?
 

jimwho

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Describe a hammered out abstract solution, << Oxymoron. I think?
 

Willie Naylor

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I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed this. Whenever people complain about about something, people generally agree on what the problems are. Whenever members give newbies basic advice, people generally agree on basic concepts. However, whenever an abstract solution gets hammered out, that's when some members get at each others throats. Is this a result of different philosophies? Different cognitive preferences?

Is there a way to solve this problem or is this a permanent feature of this forum?
I say all the time, even to my real-life friends, when people ask for advice, they're looking for 'advice' that aligns with how they feel about the situation.

People are only interested in what they WANT to hear. Nobody's interested in hearing what they NEED to hear.
 

Plinco

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Describe a hammered out abstract solution, << Oxymoron. I think?
Explained by the poster, not always clear to the reader. Maybe hammered out is not the correct term.
 

Plinco

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I say all the time, even to my real-life friends, when people ask for advice, they're looking for 'advice' that aligns with how they feel about the situation.

People are only interested in what they WANT to hear. Nobody's interested in hearing what they NEED to hear.
This is true in many cases
 

Don't always be the one putting yourself out for her. Don't always be the one putting all the effort and work into the relationship. Let her, and expect her, to treat you as well as you treat her, and to improve the quality of your life.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

mjb3617

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I think the problem stems from the fact a lot of men don't want to do the hard work of really looking at themselves and making a change. Believing that a change needs to happen and taking action is much harder than asking for advice to make themselves feel better.

Accepting the true reality of the world we live in and doing the deep work of improving oneself is the hardest pill to swallow for a lot of guys.
 

Plinco

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I think the problem stems from the fact a lot of men don't want to do the hard work of really looking at themselves and making a change. Believing that a change needs to happen and taking action is much harder than asking for advice to make themselves feel better.

Accepting the true reality of the world we live in and doing the deep work of improving oneself is the hardest pill to swallow for a lot of guys.
This is true in many cases.

People also have a tendency to project themselves when giving advice too. I'm guilty of that.
 

Zimbabwe

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This is human nature and you can't really change that, this forum has a lot of really good advice you just need to do some digging.
 

Epicenter

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I'm sure I'm not the only one who has noticed this. Whenever people complain about about something, people generally agree on what the problems are. Whenever members give newbies basic advice, people generally agree on basic concepts. However, whenever an abstract solution gets hammered out, that's when some members get at each others throats. Is this a result of different philosophies? Different cognitive preferences?

Is there a way to solve this problem or is this a permanent feature of this forum?
There might be many ways to solve the issue. For example you only are allowed to post if you meditated 20 minutes already.

Mostly we post to rant not to make reasonable contributions.

Another approach is to get at things scientifically and artistically. That way the post does not come from a egoistical standpoint.

Emotional control and humor can help.

So improve yourself and you will improve the forum or so.
 

mjb3617

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This is true in many cases.

People also have a tendency to project themselves when giving advice too. I'm guilty of that.
So am I. I've only been on my RP journey for about 8 months so I'll still freshly unplugged. I was BP for all of my life and unplugged late in life. I'm 35.

However, in that span of time, I've learned a lot about myself and what I need to work on. It's not easy and the goal is to be better than you were yesterday. Slow progress is better than no progress at all.

I'm by no means an expert on the subject, but I can confidently say the deep work required to truly improve yourself is the most critical to success.
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Bokanovsky

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Explained by the poster, not always clear to the reader. Maybe hammered out is not the correct term.
I think you've answered your own question. Abstract points are unclear by definition and thus subject to multiple interpretations.
 
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