Objective: Your views on Fvck Buddies

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops!


I just got off the phone with a Fbuddy and she is coming over shortly. Quite honestly, I've never been one to frequently do the Fbuddies thing like many of you here seem to actually prefer.lol

I've usually been the type of guy who uses his DJ skills to weed thru the fake/attention wh0re/unavailable babes in order to find ONE to game specifically. My views on this kind of thing are ALMOST in the same vein as what ANTI-DUMP preached. I've actually only been doing the "fvck OTHER chicks inbetween while you're looking for an LTR" type of thing for under a year.

The only fortunate thing about that is that I have ALWAYS found a new target shortly after an old STR/LTR ends. But times have changed and the pickings of babes of the type that I really go for are very slim these days.

I may go for about a month before I find a babe that I'm geeked up enough to go and sarge her. And No. I have no fear or hesitation when it comes to approach ANY babe ANYWHERE. But, I'm very selective in my tastes, and I know that that delays my babe acquisitions. That's the price I usually pay.

The problem now is that my sex drive has increased due to all the pvssy I've been getting this year---and this is what has made me FINALLY try fvck buddy situations. Quite honestly, the very idea of this actually goes against EVERYTHING that I have felt and believed since birth. But on the other hand, a part of me knows that there are many things about my beliefs that have not been working and that I need to change. And yes, I'm working on doing that internal, emotional work as well.

Therefore, taking on fvck buddies is something that I have been MAKING myself do. And the girls seem to have NO problems with it. But deep down, I DO.

Which I sometimes still find alarming. It seems this whole "truth about women" is something that I'm still struggling with. Not on a mental level, because I accept it. But on an emotional level, my battle to come to grips with how women REALLY are continues to be waged.

I'm not saying my opinion of this is necessarily wrong or right, but I'm just being honest with you guys----This stuff STILL makes me a little uncomfortable. Why? Because I'm not a child, and ultimately, I'd rather have a relationship with a woman that's far more multi-faceted than JUST sexual. Now don't get me wrong. On the outside I mostly make the right moves, and I never let THEM see me sweat (about ANY damn thing).

But on the inside, this fvck buddy stuff feels kind of hollow to me.

So my simple questions for all the troops (especially the mature ones) are this:

What are your views on Fvck Buddies?

How do you really feel about them?

Or have some of you found a way to successfully have NO feelings for these women at all?



'cuz I'm feeling...




NO peace...today.

 

[Porky]

So my simple questions for all the troops (especially the mature ones) are this:

What are your views on Fvck Buddies?

How do you really feel about them?

Or have some of you found a way to successfully have NO feelings for these women at all?

1) Fvck buddies rarely work, but when they do it is awesome. Either way, it's a relationship worth pursuing unless you are really into the girl and you know she just wants to sleep around.

2) I enjoy them.

3) of course not, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I have had hook up buddies who I developed feelings for, or who developed feelings for me, and sometimes it would progress to a relationship but usually not.

I would hope that you would have some kind of feelings for any girl you're having regular sex with, even if it's just friendly ones. I have a steady F-buddy right now, and she knows that I very genuinely care about her, but not in a romantic way, and vice-versa.

Look, you're clearly feeling guilty because you feel like you're just using this girl for her body. Think about it like this - have you been up front with her about what you want? Do you care about her as a friend? Does she enjoy having sex as much as you do?

Am I using my friend for sex? Yes, and no. If she met a guy who she really liked I would be very happy for her, and I know that she feels the same way. I bet that you aren't just using this girl for sex because you clearly care about her enough to be concerned that you might be exploiting her.

go pursue other women who would be better for a relationship. that's not breaking any boundaries of your FB relationship and it's what you want to do. You're getting the best of both worlds - just sit back and enjoy.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Would you rather be right or do what actually works? BTW, F-buddies do work as long as you have more than one.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Porky and Francisco,


I appreciate both of your responses. Both are food for thought.

To Francisco:

The answer to that question you asked has been mostly a consistent one. Yes, most of the time I decide in favor of doing what works. And the good news is that the choice to do what works is usually ALSO the same as what's right.

But it is during certain times, like today, that the choice to me isn't quite so clear. But overall, I'm satisfied with the DJ path that I have taken. I have no lasting regrets, only temporary ones so far----thankfully.

Porky:

Thanks for the insights and the concise clarifications you offered. And yes, you are right. I too have found that F-Buddy relationships ultimately do not work on a babe by babe basis. And I believe the reason for ultimate failue is a spiritual one.

I believe it is devinely designed for sex to be a bonding experience on all levels(spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, etc.). I believe that the only way we can "stop" the bonding process is by somehow choosing to, in various ways, desensitize ourselves to the women.

Because if we don't, as you've said, SOMEONE will eventually want a more multi-dimensional relationship---because it's NATURAL to desire this. I believe we run the risk of severly damaging our consciences if we were to continue INDEFINITELY on this kind of path.

And so, you DO have to replace exiting F-Buddies with others---just to keep those POSITIONS filled (so to speak.lol).

Some of my guilt is due to my values and upbringing, and some of it is actually self-induced. And the good news about the F-Buddy in question is that she is convinced that this whole arrangement was HER idea!!!! Of course I "helped" her reach that conclusion through some DJ tactics, but IT IS actually the truth. So in this case, I guess the hang-up is mine. So my short-term mission here is to simply "GET OVER MYSELF". lol

Reconstructing myself is still a work in progress, troops. But rest assured, I'm marching on.

Here's what I know for sure:

The old, AFC, head-in-the-sand, mindset IS NOT an option when it comes to dealing with women. I KNOW that. And I can no longer pretend that I don't. So there's no danger in me ACTUALLY reverting all the way back to that. It seems that times like these come about to challenge my newly formed world view. It affords me the opportunity to question my deeper motivations and to decide if they are right for ME. And in the end, I usually come away with a clearer understanding of myself. This situation will be NO different.

So this is my latest personal revelation:

Fvck Buddies are like temorarily rationed, cool sips of water you can choose to take while you're marching through the desert.

It's up to YOU whether of not you choose to take these cool sips of water to sustain you, AND to inspire you to consistently and confidently search for your very own more-permanent OASIS.



Thanks Troops.








Peace...one day.

 

[Porky]

great analogy.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

great analogy.

I agree.