Yo Troops!
Here's an update on one of the DEAD MEN WALKING that I wrote this post about. Specifically----Henry G. I’ve been meaning to post it for awhile now, so here goes:
Henry G.
He's the guy who chased his dikk as his "dikk" chased after a woman OTHER than his wife. True, his wife was rather unaffectionate, society-driven (VERY concerned about how her marriage "appears" to the outside world), and had plenty of baggage (problematic, hanger-on siblings who were ALWAYS staying over at their house)------but rather than end the relationship, he chose to cheat.
And if you read his "obituary" that I wrote earlier-----you see how that worked out for him. Anyway, I heard from his wife recently. She was trying to convince me to come and meet her somewhere "to see the kids"----I hadn't seen Henry, her, OR the kids in two years now.
Yeah...as of THIS month, it's been TWO fukking YEARS since I've seen my "friend" that I have known since we were kids back in 1980. Sad. But I told her that I couldn't meet with her, so she just talked to me over the phone instead.
It appears that Henry has moved out, but has refused to give HER the divorce that she has been asking for two years. What he HAS done is continuously expressed his regret, and undying love for her. Every time the court day comes up, he contests the divorce (in tears...mind you).
And it gets worse------he apparently has moved next door to her in her apartment complex. Now he gladly (and strategically?) plays "Mr. Mom" with the kids while his "almost" ex-wife, who has lost some weight and is apparently looking better than when HE was with her, is out living her life as much like a "single" woman as possible.
So here we have a situation where a guy who was once dissatisfied with his marriage NOW gratefully taking mere scraps of a relationship that he used to complain about. The guy's wife, confessed to me that she was trying to invite me, and a few other friends over in order to AMBUSH HIM-------because she was gonna invite him too, but NOT tell him that "we" were coming.
I'm glad I had the Intel to dodge THAT fukking Psycho-Bomb Scenario. I haven't seen this man in so long-----I realize that I "may" not even KNOW him now. He "may" have change so much that not only might any kind of "reunion" be unfruitful-----it's possible it could also be confrontational, or it could even spark within his mind some kind of psychotic, delusional, vengeance gambit.
Who knows.
So I simply told her about the times during the past two years that I've reached out to him via email----inviting him to respond, by email, telephone, whatever. And although I know he got both those emails-----he NEVER responded. His wife told me that to this day------he "claims" that he didn't get them. And that no one in my "army" reached out to him.
All lies.
I told his wife to tell him that I still love him like a brother----and that my door is open----and that I welcome his return, but I will NOT be reaching out anymore to him. HE has to reach out to me.
His wife said she understands and that she'll give him the message. That's been a few months ago. Still-----"radio silence". No word from him. I think what irritates, and SADDENS me the most are the little things.
This former friend, the estranged "brother" and I have shared so much of our lives together that there is STILL a void that exists because he's no longer "here" for me. Sure, life goes on. And my victories continue to mount----but there are always times when I have to stop myself from picking up the phone and calling him just to say "Dude, did you see 24 last night? That shyt was off the chain!" Or, "Yo Henry, this event or THAT event just happened-----what's your take on it? How do YOU see it?"
But...I can't do it. Why? Because he's still DEAD to me. What's worse, he KNOWS that I'm open to welcoming him back into the fold-----but he WON'T come. He'd rather have his "pride" than our friendship. So in THAT sense, you may as well consider his ass as the newest member of THE GRATEFUL DEAD. lol
But seriously, I just wanted to say that sometimes, guys who purposely derail their lives due to an inability or an unwillingness to relate to "women (i.e. PUSSSY) correctly, wind up killing not only their hopes and dreams-----but their peripheral friendships too.
So in that sense, men who blow themselves up with an AFC bomb often cause their friends to be hit by so much shrapnel that WE become casualties of war as well.
Losing valuable friendships, I imagine, is a lot like losing a limb.
You NEVER really get over it or past it to the point where you can live your life like it didn't happen----because things are never the same afterwards.
So instead, you just learn how to improvise, adapt, overcome-----you compensate-----you learn how to live WITHOUT it.
I hope this uncharacteristic rant of mine actually helps someone somehow.
Soldier on, men.