Victory Unlimited
Master Don Juan
Yo Troops!
The following is an excerpt from a book I wrote a couple of years ago. I like to think of it as basic information on how you "armor up" to engage a babe you're attracted to.
I say "basic" because to me, it is. Bu as my Granddad used to say "Victory, ain't no such thing as common sense." As I grew older, I realized he was right. Why? Because what's common to SOME, is NOT common to ALL.
Enjoy.
AMMUNITION FOR ATTRACTION
This may come as a shock, so brace yourself: PEOPLE LOOK FOR REASONS NOT TO DATE YOU! There can be no denying that everyone, including yourself, is looking for specific things in another person before they decide to get with them. As unfair as it may seem sometimes, unless you meet these narrow criteria that the person doing the picking has set, you are quickly disqualified.
Getting the person you want to want you is a lot like interviewing for a much-coveted job. The preparation process is very similar. It’s all about marketing who you are to convince the person in the decision making position that you are the best one for the job. You are, in effect, selling yourself.
It is true that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. This is why the importance of putting your best “self” forward cannot be overstated. The aggravating part of all of this is that no matter what you know you have to offer the person you’re pursuing on a deeper level, you’ll never get an opportunity to show them if they reject what they see on the outside. Nobody is ever eager to rip open a present that they feel is not attractively gift-wrapped.
You must make yourself as seductive as possible. You must be inviting. This is why it is not enough to just “be yourself”. You’ve got to be the best “you” you can be. You’ve got to be yourself to the “Nth” degree.
Sure, it’s possible to meet the love of your life by just letting them find you, but research shows it’s better to hunt. But, if you are one who is adamant about refusing to do your own shopping then you can at least prepare yourself as a package.
There are four things that emerge from all the individuals interviewed that are determining factors in their decision to date. You must have The Look, The Confidence, The Fire, and The Focus.
The Look
The look has absolutely nothing to do with who you are, but how you appear. It is a very superficial criterion by which to judge someone, but it is a harsh fact of life. The look criteria doesn’t necessarily have to be met by being stunningly handsome.
Thankfully, attractiveness is such a subjective thing that there is a place for everyone on the “Fine” scale. No matter who you are, there is something physically attractive about you in the eyes of someone. Some people like jeeps and some people like sports cars. What is important here is to determine what features you have that are most attractive and how to exploit them.
The better you take care of yourself through diet and exercise, the better you’ll look. Everyone is different, wear the clothes and hairstyles that compliment you. Remember, what works for someone else may not always work for you.
It is always better to be a trendsetter than a fad follower. Develop your own look by mixing existing styles that flatter your overall physical appearance. Dressing to impress is really about impressing yourself. Fashion fever is just like a real fever. When you go too far and the fever breaks, you’ll sometimes look in the mirror and won’t know who you are.
People who are too trendy often go to ridiculous lengths to keep up with every trend. When they are successful they often only succeed in looking just like everyone else. Thus, they get lost in the shuffle. Your goal is to be an individualist who has a flair and a style that makes you stand out in any crowd.
The Confidence
Confidence is the engine that drives everybody’s individual personality. Without confidence, it is impossible to “be all you can be”. Having confidence is the same as having assurance. Having confidence means that you have a strong belief in yourself and your abilities.
Confidence comes from knowing who you are and being comfortable with the knowledge. Confidence is like the wind, it cannot be seen with the naked eye. No one can actually see the wind, but everyone can see the effects of the wind. So it is with confidence.
The way a person carries himself provides casual onlookers with enough information to determine whether or not he has confidence. Given a certain amount of exposures to you, people can also tell just as easily when you don’t have it.
Think about it; does anybody ever have to tell you when the wind is NOT blowing? People can tell when you are having a crisis of confidence. If you don’t verbally put yourself down, you will communicate your discomfort through fumbling and fidgeting.
When you don’t have confidence, people seem to be in a big hurry to get away from you. And the more pompous and insensitive the object or your affection is, the more mercilessly she will dismiss you from her presence. In fact, it is mindboggling how insensitive women can be to someone whom they already know would give the world just to be with them.
Confidence is not something that comes with ease for many people. It is also AREA specific. It’s possible to have great confidence in the way you look, but absolutely no confidence in the way you talk. The fact of the matter is, we gain confidence from remembering our past successes. It is built stone upon stone into a platform that enables us to elevate to new heights of accomplishment.
The people interviewed for this book had a lot to say about confidence. The most important suggestions culled from the minds of confident people are as follows: Focus on the areas you do feel confident about when you are trying to make a good impression. This usually acts as a stress reliever in otherwise tense situations because you are drawing comfort from thoughts about yourself that you find pleasing.
The second suggestion is to simply fake it ‘til you make it. This may sound like a flimsy or shallow strategy to use, but really it isn’t. If you practice acting like you’re “The Bomb” long enough, eventually even you will start to believe it. Remember, the initial way that people think about you is based on the image that you choose to present to them.
The Fire
The fire is another word for enthusiasm. Enthusiasm and fire have a lot in common; they both are catching! Enthusiasm is a sense of zeal or passion about something. It is an attitude of intensity or of eager interest.
The fire is an inspiration that comes from within. It burns from the inside out, with a warmth and a glow that invites others to bask in it. The fire can only burn brightly when it burns from the heart. Whether it’s dating or mating, when your heart isn’t in it, the other person can tell.
Everything you do should be done with enthusiasm. If you have no enthusiasm about dating someone, it’ll show immediately. Never forget that not only is enthusiasm catching, but so is boredom. You know the woman you’re interested in has felt your “fire” when they too get excited in our presence. Let’s not be ridiculous though, it is unrealistic to think it’s possible to be “on” all the time. However, it is within your power to be “on” enough to avoid turning someone you’re interested in “off”.
The Focus
How attentive are you when you are out on a date? Do you let the other person know they are your primary object of interest? Do you have a habit of checking your watch and looking everywhere else in the room but at the lady you’re with? Or, do you sit at the table with the girl you brought but STILL keep your eyes on the door to see if someone “better” comes in?
If any of these questions sound like some you could answer “yes” to, then you may have a focus problem.
What you focus on tells you, and the person you’re with, what you would REALLY rather be doing. There’s no denying it, if your attention is focused everywhere else but on your date, you should question your initial attraction to them.
Sometimes though, maintaining your focus on the person you’re with is a matter of practice. There had to be a reason why you wanted to date this woman in the first place. Remember what those reasons were and focus on them. You may be delighted to discover little qualities and nuances that the woman has that will make you even more attracted to them.
The power of focus will help you to see the other woman more clearly. If the woman really does have what you are looking for in a lover and you fail to focus your attention on her, you’ll miss out.
Everyone likes the idea of knowing somebody is really into them. If you want to receive attention from someone, the best chance you have of getting it is to know WHEN and HOW to give it yourself.
The four criteria listed as The Look, The Confidence, The Fire, and The Focus are all intertwined. Any one area operating without the benefit of the others is usually rendered useless. If you have The Look with no Confidence, you’re like a gun with no trigger. Also, if you have The Fire without The Focus, you’re like a loose cannon with no target. But when all four are working in unison, you’re a LETHAL WEAPON!
Peace...one day.
The following is an excerpt from a book I wrote a couple of years ago. I like to think of it as basic information on how you "armor up" to engage a babe you're attracted to.
I say "basic" because to me, it is. Bu as my Granddad used to say "Victory, ain't no such thing as common sense." As I grew older, I realized he was right. Why? Because what's common to SOME, is NOT common to ALL.
Enjoy.
AMMUNITION FOR ATTRACTION
This may come as a shock, so brace yourself: PEOPLE LOOK FOR REASONS NOT TO DATE YOU! There can be no denying that everyone, including yourself, is looking for specific things in another person before they decide to get with them. As unfair as it may seem sometimes, unless you meet these narrow criteria that the person doing the picking has set, you are quickly disqualified.
Getting the person you want to want you is a lot like interviewing for a much-coveted job. The preparation process is very similar. It’s all about marketing who you are to convince the person in the decision making position that you are the best one for the job. You are, in effect, selling yourself.
It is true that you never get a second chance to make a first impression. This is why the importance of putting your best “self” forward cannot be overstated. The aggravating part of all of this is that no matter what you know you have to offer the person you’re pursuing on a deeper level, you’ll never get an opportunity to show them if they reject what they see on the outside. Nobody is ever eager to rip open a present that they feel is not attractively gift-wrapped.
You must make yourself as seductive as possible. You must be inviting. This is why it is not enough to just “be yourself”. You’ve got to be the best “you” you can be. You’ve got to be yourself to the “Nth” degree.
Sure, it’s possible to meet the love of your life by just letting them find you, but research shows it’s better to hunt. But, if you are one who is adamant about refusing to do your own shopping then you can at least prepare yourself as a package.
There are four things that emerge from all the individuals interviewed that are determining factors in their decision to date. You must have The Look, The Confidence, The Fire, and The Focus.
The Look
The look has absolutely nothing to do with who you are, but how you appear. It is a very superficial criterion by which to judge someone, but it is a harsh fact of life. The look criteria doesn’t necessarily have to be met by being stunningly handsome.
Thankfully, attractiveness is such a subjective thing that there is a place for everyone on the “Fine” scale. No matter who you are, there is something physically attractive about you in the eyes of someone. Some people like jeeps and some people like sports cars. What is important here is to determine what features you have that are most attractive and how to exploit them.
The better you take care of yourself through diet and exercise, the better you’ll look. Everyone is different, wear the clothes and hairstyles that compliment you. Remember, what works for someone else may not always work for you.
It is always better to be a trendsetter than a fad follower. Develop your own look by mixing existing styles that flatter your overall physical appearance. Dressing to impress is really about impressing yourself. Fashion fever is just like a real fever. When you go too far and the fever breaks, you’ll sometimes look in the mirror and won’t know who you are.
People who are too trendy often go to ridiculous lengths to keep up with every trend. When they are successful they often only succeed in looking just like everyone else. Thus, they get lost in the shuffle. Your goal is to be an individualist who has a flair and a style that makes you stand out in any crowd.
The Confidence
Confidence is the engine that drives everybody’s individual personality. Without confidence, it is impossible to “be all you can be”. Having confidence is the same as having assurance. Having confidence means that you have a strong belief in yourself and your abilities.
Confidence comes from knowing who you are and being comfortable with the knowledge. Confidence is like the wind, it cannot be seen with the naked eye. No one can actually see the wind, but everyone can see the effects of the wind. So it is with confidence.
The way a person carries himself provides casual onlookers with enough information to determine whether or not he has confidence. Given a certain amount of exposures to you, people can also tell just as easily when you don’t have it.
Think about it; does anybody ever have to tell you when the wind is NOT blowing? People can tell when you are having a crisis of confidence. If you don’t verbally put yourself down, you will communicate your discomfort through fumbling and fidgeting.
When you don’t have confidence, people seem to be in a big hurry to get away from you. And the more pompous and insensitive the object or your affection is, the more mercilessly she will dismiss you from her presence. In fact, it is mindboggling how insensitive women can be to someone whom they already know would give the world just to be with them.
Confidence is not something that comes with ease for many people. It is also AREA specific. It’s possible to have great confidence in the way you look, but absolutely no confidence in the way you talk. The fact of the matter is, we gain confidence from remembering our past successes. It is built stone upon stone into a platform that enables us to elevate to new heights of accomplishment.
The people interviewed for this book had a lot to say about confidence. The most important suggestions culled from the minds of confident people are as follows: Focus on the areas you do feel confident about when you are trying to make a good impression. This usually acts as a stress reliever in otherwise tense situations because you are drawing comfort from thoughts about yourself that you find pleasing.
The second suggestion is to simply fake it ‘til you make it. This may sound like a flimsy or shallow strategy to use, but really it isn’t. If you practice acting like you’re “The Bomb” long enough, eventually even you will start to believe it. Remember, the initial way that people think about you is based on the image that you choose to present to them.
The Fire
The fire is another word for enthusiasm. Enthusiasm and fire have a lot in common; they both are catching! Enthusiasm is a sense of zeal or passion about something. It is an attitude of intensity or of eager interest.
The fire is an inspiration that comes from within. It burns from the inside out, with a warmth and a glow that invites others to bask in it. The fire can only burn brightly when it burns from the heart. Whether it’s dating or mating, when your heart isn’t in it, the other person can tell.
Everything you do should be done with enthusiasm. If you have no enthusiasm about dating someone, it’ll show immediately. Never forget that not only is enthusiasm catching, but so is boredom. You know the woman you’re interested in has felt your “fire” when they too get excited in our presence. Let’s not be ridiculous though, it is unrealistic to think it’s possible to be “on” all the time. However, it is within your power to be “on” enough to avoid turning someone you’re interested in “off”.
The Focus
How attentive are you when you are out on a date? Do you let the other person know they are your primary object of interest? Do you have a habit of checking your watch and looking everywhere else in the room but at the lady you’re with? Or, do you sit at the table with the girl you brought but STILL keep your eyes on the door to see if someone “better” comes in?
If any of these questions sound like some you could answer “yes” to, then you may have a focus problem.
What you focus on tells you, and the person you’re with, what you would REALLY rather be doing. There’s no denying it, if your attention is focused everywhere else but on your date, you should question your initial attraction to them.
Sometimes though, maintaining your focus on the person you’re with is a matter of practice. There had to be a reason why you wanted to date this woman in the first place. Remember what those reasons were and focus on them. You may be delighted to discover little qualities and nuances that the woman has that will make you even more attracted to them.
The power of focus will help you to see the other woman more clearly. If the woman really does have what you are looking for in a lover and you fail to focus your attention on her, you’ll miss out.
Everyone likes the idea of knowing somebody is really into them. If you want to receive attention from someone, the best chance you have of getting it is to know WHEN and HOW to give it yourself.
The four criteria listed as The Look, The Confidence, The Fire, and The Focus are all intertwined. Any one area operating without the benefit of the others is usually rendered useless. If you have The Look with no Confidence, you’re like a gun with no trigger. Also, if you have The Fire without The Focus, you’re like a loose cannon with no target. But when all four are working in unison, you’re a LETHAL WEAPON!
Peace...one day.
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