NY Times Article on Sugar Daddy Relationships

[MrLuvr]

A rather long article in the NY Times today about Sugar Daddies. I am not sure what to think. On the one hand it continues the theme that older men have to be rich to get hot, young women. But, the men in the article mostly appear to be typical AFCs.

This abundance of possibility is part of what the site is selling, along with fantasy. Some of these men — especially those shopping for women half their age — are digging deep into their pockets to pay for an illusion: that despite their receding hairlines and wattled skin, they’re still enchanting enough to charm pretty young women.

What appeals to them about the arrangements are the expensive gifts — “I just LOVE being spoiled,” gushed one 19-year-old woman on the blog — because those gifts make them feel valued, as if the money spent measures just how desirable they are.

Whether sugar relationships amount to prostitution is hotly debated among the site’s members. “Let’s get real here,” wrote GoldenGate on the blog. “I’m with a guy who’s old enough to be my dad, short and balding. Not to mention his other shortcomings, ahem. But he gives me a great big fat allowance every month. If that wasn’t there, we wouldn’t be together.”

For the full article:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/12/magazine/12sugardaddies-t.html?pagewanted=1&_r=1

 

[STR8UP]

So many fine lines.....

There is a fine line between prostitution and "an arrangement". Isn't it funny how things get blurry? On one side of the spectrum you have obvious prostitutes. Women who exchange sexual favors directly for an agreed upon sum of money. On the other end of the spectrum you have people who are supposedly together because of the other "person" with no regard to perks or financial status.

What people really hate to admit is that even the latter type of relationship is not "pure". ALL women factor in what they can get out of a relationship, monetary or otherwise. This romanticized notion of "true love" is bullsh!t. There is no such thing as "true" love between people who are not related- it's all about CONDITIONS.

We also have things such as escort services and massage parlors which is essentially "barely legal" prostitution. Only the language of the transaction constitutes its legality.

The most interesting one though is the relationship between the sugar daddy and sugar baby. Utterly transparent when exposed on a dating site, it is a HUGE threat to women who have a vested interest in keeping the value of pu$$y astronomically high and lacking of transparency.

Polite society shuns this type of arrangement (religion and older women in particular), but aside from outright prostitution it is one of the most honest and arguably one of the happiest and successful types of exchanges of sex for resources a man and a woman can have.

The other "fine line" is between a woman being ATTRACTED to a man because of his wealth, and one who uses him for his wealth despite not being attracted to him.

The Anna Nicole type arrangement where you have a decrepit old billionaire cavorting with a buxom Playmate is one thing, but what if the guy is in his 50's, in decent shape, has alpha qualities, and has high social status and a fat bank account? Is it not possible for a nubile young woman to be sexually attracted to such a man?

Society's blindness cracks me up. Wake up people. Everyone is "using" everyone else. Don't criticize people who are honest about it. If it works for two consenting adults, leave it be.

 

[MrLuvr]

, but what if the guy is in his 50's, in decent shape, has alpha qualities, and has high social status and a fat bank account? Is it not possible for a nubile young woman to be sexually attracted to such a man?

Yes, but the way that society is structured today, it would be difficult for her to date him publicly. Moreover, she would justify her attraction by calling it a sugar daddy relationship. Somehow that seems more palatable than just saying, "yeah, I am attracted to the guy."

Society's blindness cracks me up. Wake up people. Everyone is "using" everyone else. Don't criticize people who are honest about it. If it works for two consenting adults, leave it be.

True, but then this sort of thing further codifies the widely held believe that the only way an older guy can get young pvssy is to pay.

 

[Hooligan Harry]

Yes, but the way that society is structured today, it would be difficult for her to date him publicly. Moreover, she would justify her attraction by calling it a sugar daddy relationship. Somehow that seems more palatable than just saying, "yeah, I am attracted to the guy."

The day all woman in a sugar daddy relationship ADMIT that they are only in it for the money is the day we witness the second coming of Christ. Women will never admit to gold digging because even gold diggers hate gold diggers. Society programs people to view gold digging as an evil and women who do that are considered *****s.

She will say that she loves his maturity, confidence, intelligence or some other bull****. I am not quite sure where you have come with this notion that it is socially unacceptable for older men to date younger women though. The wealthier you are, the more acceptable it actually is. This is not something that is happening in secret here. Its out in the open.

True, but then this sort of thing further codifies the widely held believe that the only way an older guy can get young pvssy is to pay.

Well, with all due respect, it is. An older man is more established and has had a longer time to acquire resources. As a man you are a provider and an older man with money provides a lot more security. If he was a pauper, he would not be getting any tail. The women he did land would require a tremendous amount of effort to not only land, but keep.

I fail to understand why people refuse to acknowledge that women find wealth attractive. Money, and everything that goes with it, IS ATTRACTIVE. You ability to provide, and provide well, is probably the most attractive trait to any woman.

You dont find many average looking gold diggers do you? Normally when you spot the young woman with a very rich man she is an absolute knockout. This irritates the young bucks because they cant compete with his money and they have been conditioned to believe that their nice guy attitude should be enough. It irritates the average girls even more because they get stuck with the paupers, who they "love for their personalities". More then anything, it irritates the older women who never managed to land the man who became wealthy and helped secure her future in the process. So society shames them for what is probably the most genuine, natural relationship there is to the protect the feelings of those who could not quite cut it. They dont see it as a high value female (very attractive) and a high value male (alpha through his ability to provide) they see it as an old pig who refuses to date older women so he pays the young ***** for sex through his gifts. This is of course instead of keeping the older, uglier ***** happy with his gifts and lifestyle.

And those that do admit that they are in it for the money? I am willing to bet its cheaper for that guy to keep a mistress then it is for him to keep a wife. Not only does he get a better looking piece of ass, he does not have the 50% chance she is going to walk away with a fat percentage of his total wealth.

Jealousy hey. Men shame wealthier men for living the lifestyle and banging the women they never had the balls to land. Women shame those same men for having the audacity to ignore them and not delivering on their sense of entitlement.

Does that mean older men cant land younger women without money? Of course not. It happens all the time. It just so happens though that the guy with money is going to have it easier. That is regardless of age.

 

[edger]

For my age, I make substantially more than my peers;

Just curious, what do you do?

 

[Slipper Hero]

The most interesting one though is the relationship between the sugar daddy and sugar baby. Utterly transparent when exposed on a dating site, it is a HUGE threat to women who have a vested interest in keeping the value of pu$$y astronomically high and lacking of transparency.

Why would it be a threat to them? It's confirming the belief that youth, beauty and ***** are valuable commodities that the people who lack them have to pay for. In simple terms a young, beautiful woman is more valuable than an old, unbeautiful man. If he has money, then that can help him to hide from that truth, but it doesn't change it.

The article shows that a lot of the older men will mentor the young woman whose company they're paying for. That's another way for them to feel they have value: Value as an older, wiser mentor - but if they weren't prepared to stump up the cash, the women probably wouldn't be interested in getting that mentoring from them.

Two people being together because they enjoy eachother's company is the most honest form of relationship. You can't see that because you're jaded past the point of return.

 

[STR8UP]

Two people being together because they enjoy eachother's company is the most honest form of relationship. You can't see that because you're jaded past the point of return.

I've never seen a prostitute cheat on her trick, but it's quite common for a woman who "enjoys a man's company" to cheat on him.

Jaded? Nah, just realistic.

Shame away.......

 

[Juando]

My current gf is half my age.

I'm a teacher. No trust fund or inherited wealth.

Is she attractive? Ask her modeling agency, rhymes with "TOWARD"?

Is she into me? Tonight she begged me again to marry her.

Is the sex good? The smile on my face is not from the ice cream.

Am I special? Sure, but aren't all of us here on SS who have absorbed a critical mass of wisdom and experience?

Can my situation change? On a dime, but I'm determined it change for the better, so I'm setting up to connect with another plate who's younger.

I'm tired of beating this dead horse; c'mon guys I'm old, don't make me work at this.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

All this talk of gold diggers and sugar daddys just serves as a further reminder to me that we have only been out of the woods for a few thousand years, a blip on our evolutionary timescale. Yes, modern society has so many social conventions and shaming schemes, but it wasn't long ago that the idea of "true love" was unthought of. Women wanted the male with the most resources because it was a life or death decision for them. The easier our lives have become, the more bullsh!t we have created to occupy our minds and misdirect our attention.

I'm reminded of the post on here that read "Women would rather share a successful man than be exclusive with a loser." This is 100% true, especially with older women. The man I work for is a self-made millionaire and a captain of industry here in my neck of the woods, and he openly has both a wife and a girlfriend. I've never seen his wife, but he takes his gf with him everywhere.

It tells me that instead of spending my precious time worrying about picking up chicks, all that I will concern myself with is my business and financial interests. Seriously. If chicks fall in my lap along the way, as they do, that's fine, but no longer will pickup remotely be a priority for me. Women are just a distraction from what I SHOULD be doing anyway. Become wealthy and successful, and you have your pick of the litter without any of the bs that unwealthy men put up with every day.

Do they love him for his money, or because he is the kind of man who went out in the world and got what he wanted? Who cares? Money is the great equalizer, with or without women you have a kicka$$ life anyway, and there is no shortage of candidates for a man who is TRULY the Prize.

 

[wjh]

Do they love him for his money, or because he is the kind of man who went out in the world and got what he wanted? Who cares? Money is the great equalizer, with or without women you have a kicka$$ life anyway, and there is no shortage of candidates for a man who is TRULY the Prize.

I agree with this.

Money gives you power, and the resources to experience many of the things life has to offer.

With basic self-esteem, and a no-nonsense attitude towards women, money brings you a lot more options. Being smart about those options is critical, no doubt, but that's something I sure hope to have.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Arent´these girls "gigolos"?

 

[Trader]

What's missing in this discussion is *how* the guy uses his wealth to attract girls.

If a guy relies on his wealth to attract girls by deliberately trying to flash expensive items or going to one of those "Sugar Daddy" dating websites, he will automatically lose the frame. He will probably get the girl, but the girl will never respect him. She will just think of how she can milk him for all his money.

If a guy has wealth but has game - primarly by realizing that "He is the Prize to be won" and does not try to *buy* girls, then he is truly exhibiting Alpha behavior. She will be into him and actually respect him.

An AFC and an AFC with money are really the same creature. Oh the AFC with money stands to have a better chance of getting the girl, but girls will not respect either breed.

 

[Warrior74]

What's missing in this discussion is *how* the guy uses his wealth to attract girls.

If a guy relies on his wealth to attract girls by deliberately trying to flash expensive items or going to one of those "Sugar Daddy" dating websites, he will automatically lose the frame. He will probably get the girl, but the girl will never respect him. She will just think of how she can milk him for all his money.

If a guy has wealth but has game - primarly by realizing that "He is the Prize to be won" and does not try to *buy* girls, then he is truly exhibiting Alpha behavior. She will be into him and actually respect him.

An AFC and an AFC with money are really the same creature. Oh the AFC with money stands to have a better chance of getting the girl, but girls will not respect either breed.

WWTTD? (what would tim tebow do?)