Number One rule to simplify your life as a man when it comes to dating

[BackInTheGame78]

Biggest issue I see with men is they spend 95% of their time, energy and efforts with women trying to convince uninterested women to become more interested rather than spending that time, energy and effort effectively by finding more women who are already interested.

By far this is the one thing you can implement that will have an immediate impact. The girl isn't interested? It's OK...really...just relegate her to the 5% club and actively go out and find more women who are highly interested already. Whether it's online, social circle, cold approaches, warm approaches(service industry people like retail stores, waitresses, etc), etc.

Stop being lazy. Lazy is the reason why guys end up posting the majority of posts in this forum. They think because they have spent time and energy getting a woman to go out with them, get their number, etc they need to make it work, and will go to extraordinary lengths to try and get her to change her mind to prevent them from having to do more work.

This is a TERRIBLE mindset. If you buy a share of stock at $100 and something bad happens to the company they will never recover from and the stock starts falling, you sell it ASAP and get out to cut your losses. Instead, guys do the equivalent of holding the stock and holding the stock and hoping it recovers until it becomes worthless and the company goes bankrupt and you've lost all your money. When you could have only lost $25 out of the $100 and then taken the remaining $75 and invested it into a stock that will make money. Think of your time like this. You only have x amount of hours each week you can spend talking with/dating/fvcking women. Cut your losses and take the remaining time and invest it into something that will produce dividends rather than become worthless...

STOP. JUST STOP. Embrace the work. It will get you laid, it will get you more women than you have time for and it will make you look back and wonder "What the hell was I doing??" thinking about your previous self...

Just stop investing time and energy into these uninterested women, and invest it into yourself...put the work in, talk to and go out with more women and look at it as a numbers game. Which is what it is. The more women you talk with, the more uninterested women you'll find and the more interested women you'll find. The uninterested will always outnumber the interested so handle them appropriately and relegate them to the 5% club.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Glad to see a post that would help the majority of guys here gets so much attention...

Guess I should have posted about how I don't know what to do when I went on a date and the girl won't text me back...that would have gotten 3 pages of replies by now...

SMFH...what the hell has happened to this board?

 

[Mike32ct]

Honestly, the post was so good that there was nothing to add. I'm not just saying that now. I read it when it was first posted.

Sometimes really good posts end up with <crickets>.

Or sometimes really good reply posts can end an otherwise interesting thread.

 

[oOh Nasty]

It's good advice. It's just that, people are too busy flaming each other in other threads. And also, fundamentals such as this are sort of becoming taboo to half the posters these days.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Biggest issue I see with men is they spend 95% of their time, energy and efforts with women trying to convince uninterested women to become more interested rather than spending that time, energy and effort effectively by finding more women who are already interested.

By far this is the one thing you can implement that will have an immediate impact. The girl isn't interested? It's OK...really...just relegate her to the 5% club and actively go out and find more women who are highly interested already. Whether it's online, social circle, cold approaches, warm approaches(service industry people like retail stores, waitresses, etc), etc.

Stop being lazy. Lazy is the reason why guys end up posting the majority of posts in this forum. They think because they have spent time and energy getting a woman to go out with them, get their number, etc they need to make it work, and will go to extraordinary lengths to try and get her to change her mind to prevent them from having to do more work.

This is a TERRIBLE mindset. If you buy a share of stock at $100 and something bad happens to the company they will never recover from and the stock starts falling, you sell it ASAP and get out to cut your losses. Instead, guys do the equivalent of holding the stock and holding the stock and hoping it recovers until it becomes worthless and the company goes bankrupt and you've lost all your money. When you could have only lost $25 out of the $100 and then taken the remaining $75 and invested it into a stock that will make money. Think of your time like this. You only have x amount of hours each week you can spend talking with/dating/fvcking women. Cut your losses and take the remaining time and invest it into something that will produce dividends rather than become worthless...

STOP. JUST STOP. Embrace the work. It will get you laid, it will get you more women than you have time for and it will make you look back and wonder "What the hell was I doing??" thinking about your previous self...

Just stop investing time and energy into these uninterested women, and invest it into yourself...put the work in, talk to and go out with more women and look at it as a numbers game. Which is what it is. The more women you talk with, the more uninterested women you'll find and the more interested women you'll find. The uninterested will always outnumber the interested so handle them appropriately and relegate them to the 5% club.

This. Wasting my time on uninterested bishes is prob my biggest weakness. Def needed to read this.

 

[Steady Eddie]

Unlimited optimism is for the young or the stupid. Lets hope you're the former OP.

 

[fastlife]

How many guys here,are actually putting in the legwork? I mean, there are still arguments cropping up about whether or not Cold Approach even works or if you have to be X, Y, or Z to even get women in the first place. Half of the guys hate clubs or bars or girls who have sex freely when they meet an attractive man whose able to confidently navigate her into a situation where sex can take place (almost every girl, honestly).

I think part of the problem is there's so much talk around here of 'Nexting' and 'Spinning Plates' but so little practical advice about how to generate options in the first place. And, let's face it, most guys would rather complain & create reasons why it can't work for them than to get out there and face rejection.

 

[Konada]

Scarcity plays a huge part in why many men are wasting time with uninterested women. Think about it, if one really experiences true abundance and has women who are highly interested in him on a consistent basis, I'd bet he won't even give uninterested women a second though.

The caveat comes when men (including me), have the inability to generate options because of 1. looks, 2. game, 3. status. It is terribly frustrating and painful to look at oneself and honestly say that 'my SMV is ****' and people would rather rant about how women are b!tches while they are operating to their true nature.

Even for myself, it is tough to acknowledge that the legwork to put in to become a high SMV male is an uphill battle for most of us and consistency is key. That being said, I think BITG has a point about focusing on interested women... It takes far less effort and that energy used to chase uninterested women can instead be used to improve your SMV.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Scarcity plays a huge part in why many men are wasting time with uninterested women. Think about it, if one really experiences true abundance and has women who are highly interested in him on a consistent basis, I'd bet he won't even give uninterested women a second though.

The caveat comes when men (including me), have the inability to generate options because of 1. looks, 2. game, 3. status. It is terribly frustrating and painful to look at oneself and honestly say that 'my SMV is ****' and people would rather rant about how women are b!tches while they are operating to their true nature.

Even for myself, it is tough to acknowledge that the legwork to put in to become a high SMV male is an uphill battle for most of us and consistency is key. That being said, I think BITG has a point about focusing on interested women... It takes far less effort and that energy used to chase uninterested women can instead be used to improve your SMV.

All that time wasted on chasing uninterested women coulda gave you a hella SMV or you could make money with it. Attraction is most of the battle. You can even say stupid things and she will buy it if she is attracted enough.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

How many guys here,are actually putting in the legwork? I mean, there are still arguments cropping up about whether or not Cold Approach even works or if you have to be X, Y, or Z to even get women in the first place. Half of the guys hate clubs or bars or girls who have sex freely when they meet an attractive man whose able to confidently navigate her into a situation where sex can take place (almost every girl, honestly).

I think part of the problem is there's so much talk around here of 'Nexting' and 'Spinning Plates' but so little practical advice about how to generate options in the first place. And, let's face it, most guys would rather complain & create reasons why it can't work for them than to get out there and face rejection.

This is a huge issue I think...the negative self talk is a big hurdle most people face, making them unwilling to actually put in the work to not only get dates but go on enough of them to actually start becoming successful.

It's a proccess...it probably took 3 years or so of going on lots of dates, figuring out what worked for me and what didn't and then capitalizing on my opportunities...

But it's like anything else in life. The more you do something and the harder you work at something, the better you become at it...might not ever reach the level of someone who is a superstar with women but you can damn sure reach the level where you are regularly banging new women...you just have to accept there will be things you need to change, learn and that there is a lot of work to put in. But nothing worthwhile in life comes easy...if you aren't willing to put in the work, then you really don't have any room to complain...

Because honestly, if I can become good with women you can too...I was TERRIBLE for a good portion of my life and had enough...I put the work in and have been rewarded with a lot of hot sex over the past year and a half...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Unlimited optimism is for the young or the stupid. Lets hope you're the former OP.

I'm not young, and I don't have unlimited optimism. I believe if you work hard towards something you will always become relatively good at it compared to where you were at previously...

Probably not awesome at it, but good enough to make a big difference in your sex life...

 

[Roober]

Interest is a tricky one for most guys. Maybe their ego gets in the way, or they are thinking too much about DJing and such.

 

[BreezyB84]

The issue also is the quality of the interested women. I can go out and get a bunch of 5's. will they keep me occupied enough to not think about the ones I am really interested in? that's a different issue itself .

 

[Roober]

The issue also is the quality of the interested women. I can go out and get a bunch of 5's. will they keep me occupied enough to not think about the ones I am really interested in? that's a different issue itself .

Not sure I would go any lower than a 6. To me, most women that are in decent shape are at least a 6. You can get a 6 easily, 99% of men can get a 6 easily. Meeting lower women will at least give you practice on interactions with women. You should do your thing and treat all women the same. It also gives the abundance mentality because if you cold approach and don't get much success, you know you still have a solid bang on lockdown...

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Biggest issue I see with men is they spend 95% of their time, energy and efforts with women trying to convince uninterested women to become more interested rather than spending that time, energy and effort effectively by finding more women who are already interested.

This is very true. Especially for newbs. But I think that's the way it will always be. New guys need to practice with one or two women to start with to learn the very basics. Recognising genuine interest is a skill one has to learn and can't really be gained from reading a forum. That's why there are so many associated questions. I understand why more experienced guys get frustrated at mundane questions which with obvious answers. Trouble is, the answers aren't obvious to some. This site, after all, is about becoming better with women, not only about being good with women.

As more and more guys become involved, so the game evolves. That means guys' mindsets have to evolve as well.

I see some of the old-school theory has become out-dated, or at least isn't applied properly, especially when it come to interest levels.

IoI's for example are an old favourite of newbs. They see a twirl of the hair, a smile, or a touch of the arm, even a kiss on a date as a sign they are about to get laid. Wrong.

As I was explaining to someone earlier, gauging the interest level of a woman is far more complex than simple IoI's. For example, you very rarely see guys talking about rapport, tone of voice, content of conversation, what they actually think the girl in question wants (i.e. relationship, or just casual hook ups); the finer nuances of the encounters.

Sure they are dating women, but ultimately get confused and fail, because they are still in a very primitive mode of analysis. The complexity thought processes and depth of analysis are not developed enough yet to mentally deal with what's happening to them. And for a good half of even these men, they never will be because they will just give up at the first or second hurdle.

 

[fastlife]

This is a huge issue I think...the negative self talk is a big hurdle most people face, making them unwilling to actually put in the work to not only get dates but go on enough of them to actually start becoming successful.

It's a proccess...it probably took 3 years or so of going on lots of dates, figuring out what worked for me and what didn't and then capitalizing on my opportunities...

But it's like anything else in life. The more you do something and the harder you work at something, the better you become at it...might not ever reach the level of someone who is a superstar with women but you can damn sure reach the level where you are regularly banging new women...you just have to accept there will be things you need to change, learn and that there is a lot of work to put in. But nothing worthwhile in life comes easy...if you aren't willing to put in the work, then you really don't have any room to complain...

Because honestly, if I can become good with women you can too...I was TERRIBLE for a good portion of my life and had enough...I put the work in and have been rewarded with a lot of hot sex over the past year and a half...

Totally agreed. But you have to trust the process and endure a sh1t ton of rejection and hits to your ego before you even start seeing results; most guys aren't willing to do that. Even my IRL friends, who've watched me over the last 11 months since I started approaching girls, and have seen me go from when I couldn't get a set to open to me pretty consistently taking girls home, all act like it's some magical ability I have.

I've even had guys freak the fvck out when they point out a girl they think is hot and I offer to bring her over to meet him.

 

[dude99]

A few rules for dating but the first one i feel is most important


1. Never settle.

2. You take take the lead. They follow.

3. Make sure they know you will walk.

4. Never let them know how you feel. Keep them guessing.

5. One chance per lifetime. When they blow it they are out, for good.

 

[Steady Eddie]

I'm not young, and I don't have unlimited optimism. I believe if you work hard towards something you will always become relatively good at it compared to where you were at previously...

Probably not awesome at it, but good enough to make a big difference in your sex life...

Work at what exactly?
How to dress? Opening lines? Improving his physical appearance? Handling rejection?

A woman knows whether she's attracted to a man within seconds of meeting him. Shouldn't the man know this as well? How does he go about finding out, so as not to waste his time with her?

Most men are average looking and in this economy not doing so well, financially. How much rejection do you think these men can take?
Mating strategies are dynamic not static like the advice you're giving.

 

[BeExcellent]

Thoughts from the old lady:

It really gets down to being cool with who you are. If you as a man are truly comfortable in your own skin then you are not coming from a place of "am I good enough for xyz?" whether it's a woman or a job or an opportunity.

When you have an attitude that questions your own worthiness you have already lost the war before the battle begins.

I've seen ugly men in t shirts pull women with confidence and I've seen handsome men in brogues and Robert Graham shirts falter with insecurity.

I agree that women appreciate men who understand and display fitness, fashion and style. An average man can become a stand out on aesthetics alone because many men forgo the importance of style and fitness & grooming, especially as men age. It's true that men can pull younger and younger as they get older, but getting fat or sloppy will relegate you to the functionally obsolete pile quickly unless you are very rich.

The only way you get good at dealing with people is to get out there & deal with them. Practice everywhere. On the train, in line, at the store, just going about your business.

We are all people. Become a positive person & watch how people light up around you and want to be near you. As you get more experience you'll learn when sh1tty & funny is best, when an unusual compliment is best, when something goofy is best. Become an observer of people and an observer of self. The men who are best with women are incredibly self aware (and so are the women who are best with men).

If you are comfortable with yourself others will be comfortable with you too. And it will amaze you how women are drawn to you.

And yes only give your time to those who are drawn to you. You can learn where you are on the spectrum by what sort of women are paying attention to you & spending time with you.

And you can improve yourself and in turn your results.

 

[Steady Eddie]

Thoughts from the old lady:

It really gets down to being cool with who you are. If you as a man are truly comfortable in your own skin then you are not coming from a place of "am I good enough for xyz?" whether it's a woman or a job or an opportunity.

When you have an attitude that questions your own worthiness you have already lost the war before the battle begins.

I've seen ugly men in t shirts pull women with confidence and I've seen handsome men in brogues and Robert Graham shirts falter with insecurity.

I agree that women appreciate men who understand and display fitness, fashion and style. An average man can become a stand out on aesthetics alone because many men forgo the importance of style and fitness & grooming, especially as men age. It's true that men can pull younger and younger as they get older, but getting fat or sloppy will relegate you to the functionally obsolete pile quickly unless you are very rich.

The only way you get good at dealing with people is to get out there & deal with them. Practice everywhere. On the train, in line, at the store, just going about your business.

We are all people. Become a positive person & watch how people light up around you and want to be near you. As you get more experience you'll learn when sh1tty & funny is best, when an unusual compliment is best, when something goofy is best. Become an observer of people and an observer of self. The men who are best with women are incredibly self aware (and so are the women who are best with men).

If you are comfortable with yourself others will be comfortable with you too. And it will amaze you how women are drawn to you.

And yes only give your time to those who are drawn to you. You can learn where you are on the spectrum by what sort of women are paying attention to you & spending time with you.

And you can improve yourself and in turn your results.

What you've written is a little vague and ill defined. I can't help but think, if you're a woman why would you want a man to advance his sexual strategy over that of a woman's?
It's a bit like a man (who isn't a solicitor or known to the woman) giving a woman advice on how to fleece her ex husband during their divorce. Knowing all the while that same advice could be used against him in similar circumstances.
You begin by basically saying 'just be yourself'. This is just plain wrong for all the reasons given in following article.

https://therationalmale.com/2012/01/13/just-be-yourself/

You follow this by suggesting men shouldn't question their worthiness. Everything has some value attached to it. Understanding your value in the sexual marketplace is important if you want to succeed. It strikes me, if you don't question anything, you'll remain ignorant to it's true nature.
A well worn strategy with women in regards to men.
A man who approaches a woman without assessing whether she'll be receptive to his overtures, will soon find all the confidence drained from him when she (and every other woman) blows him off.

Your advice is the touchy feely type that reads well, but hold no practical purpose.