Now what? Bring the player back?

[captain55]

I hung up the player cleats. Reasons? A combination of baby fever, becoming more religious, and wanting the house with the white picket fence.

I met a 21 year old and we fell in love. Of course I got her to say she loves me first you ****s I’m no rookie

The girl prior to her was a stripper, of course she will never know this I Don’t ever want her to know how many women I’ve ****ed or about my player days. But yeah my game was good. I saw her across the bar and said “she’s next” and sure enough pulled her. That’s how advanced my game was ..not being ****y just being honest ...


Things were great for 3 months until about 3 weeks ago. Ive been stressed with work and my sex drive took a dip. Prior to this, she was calling me daddy and was very clingy to me. Now the tables have turned. I’m shocked she’s still with me honestly, Saturday she said she is sexually frustrated but says she wants to work it out. I can tell she’s hanging on...desperately waiting for the stud to come back that approached her at the bar that night and ****ed her brains out. I’m trying hard to get back to being that guy too. And I did Saturday night... I was hard as hell and she doesn’t do anything.

My confidence is at a low point right now and a simple ******* Saturday night I feel could of saved the relationship. I am having a hard time admitting to myself the girl I decided to settle down with is selfish in bed.

So what do I do fellas. Do I bring the bad boy back and start hitting the strip clubs? I used to game strippers and date them for fun. Do I become the cheating Verbally Abusive ******* like I was in the past? At least those women viewed me as alpha,

Life is a trip I will tell ya. i promise all you young players The girl you fall in love with will never be the girl you have the best sex with. And the girl you have the best sex with you most likely won’t be able to stand being around for more than a few hours.

I’m going to give it a week. If she doesn’t turn **** Around I’m out fellas. What would you do? I love her and I want it to work. But I feel like a shell of a guy that I was a month ago. I can’t let this girl take my confidence away. I need to **** the **** out of some hot slut and get back to being the guy that I used to be. Im counting on her, she’s everything to me. If the sex turns around I’m gonna wife her up. But she’s selfish in bed so I’m not getting my hopes up. **** this sucks..

 

[KindredSpiritzz]

so your performance is the issue here and its maybe stress related? Get some viagra.
Sounds like this is mostly all in your head if its performance issues. If she's not pulling her weight in bed then tell her what you require, if she refuses then let her know that'll be the end of things and move on.

 

[captain55]

so your performance is the issue here and its maybe stress related? Get some viagra.
Sounds like this is mostly all in your head if its performance issues. If she's not pulling her weight in bed then tell her what you require, if she refuses then let her know that'll be the end of things and move on.

Yes but I’m still getting hard without taking anything just throughout the day so it’s not a medical issue.... it’s the fact that she’s not making me comfortable in bed and the anxiety keeps me from getting hard. I’ve never been with a girl in my life that didn’t suck my **** prior to ****ing Throughout an entire relationship...I feel like all these problems could’ve been solved with some simple head

 

[LiveYourDream]

she’s everything to me.

Imho, beliefs such as this ^^^^ are dangerous for a man to have.

 

[Barrister]

Yes but I’m still getting hard without taking anything just throughout the day so it’s not a medical issue.... it’s the fact that she’s not making me comfortable in bed and the anxiety keeps me from getting hard. I’ve never been with a girl in my life that didn’t suck my **** prior to ****ing Throughout an entire relationship...I feel like all these problems could’ve been solved with some simple head

Does she refuse to give head or something? Is she a dead fish and just lay there expecting you to do all the work? If you are only 3 months in and experiencing this in bed that doesn't bode well. Sex generally is pretty great for at least the first 6-12 months with a new woman in my experience before it begins to taper off.

I agree with the above -- get some viagra even for just a one time use to get your mojo back and go from there.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Im counting on her, she’s everything to me. If the sex turns around I’m gonna wife her up. But she’s selfish in bed so I’m not getting my hopes up. **** this sucks..

She already chooses not please you sexually. Even if she “gives in” to your preferences (over her’s) and starts to give you BJ’s, etc, for a little while, do not mistakenly believe that suddenly now makes her wifey material.

She will most likely, sooner than later, revert back to her no BJ giving self. You say she is a selfish lover, do not expect for that to change long term.

 

[captain55]

Does she refuse to give head or something? Is she a dead fish and just lay there expecting you to do all the work? If you are only 3 months in and experiencing this in bed that doesn't bode well. Sex generally is pretty great for at least the first 6-12 months with a new woman in my experience before it begins to taper off.

I agree with the above -- get some viagra even for just a one time use to get your mojo back and go from there.

glad you asked. She was raped 4 months prior to us dating she told me. So it’s a control thing. She likes to be in control.

Never stopped me from having great sex with her I just stopped trying to be as dominant and let her come to me and that settled the issue.

Here is my issue with this weekend..., if your a chick and your mans not getting hard the last 2-3 times you get together and the relationship is on the line. i don’t give a **** if your tired...your in a hot tub at a private house any half decent chick would be sucking my **** or bending over the moment I got hard. She could of saved the relationship right there...but she “wasn’t in the Mood”. Just pure selfishness brother ...she knows my confidence is in the ****ter right now. She complains I can’t get hard but when I’m hard she doesn’t want it.

Lol...I was about to say “well no **** this is why I can’t **** you, you shut me down every time I’m ready to go”


watch...she will try to **** me on the most stressful day of the week at 2am and when I can’t get hard and then be pissed. I almost feel like she is subconsciously trying to get me to fail in bed because she enjoys punishing me. When I don’t **** her right she goes home 2-3 days. When I do **** her right she acts like she doesn’t remember. Lol. She’s knows I have an ego and she enjoys ****ing with it.

this is not your typical chick that cums from 5 minutes of pounding. I have to stay rock hard for half an hour and plow her through the mattress to even have a shot at getting her off. And I have no help (no head) to get me going. Feels like I got a gun to my head every time we **** now

 

[Barrister]

First 3 weeks of dating she gave me amazing head to get me off. Confessed to me she was raped 4 months prior And that’s why she kept rejecting me (red flag no **** I ignored it). I eventually made her comfortable enough to **** and the sex was great up until 3 weeks ago. it’s a control thing, she likes to be dominant because she lost that when she was raped. She tries to **** me when I don’t want it, when I want it she doesn’t want it. That’s part of the problem right there. When I’m hard and in the mood she doesn’t want it....

Why do you want an LTR with this woman let alone to wife her up as you said? This sounds like a terrible idea given what you are saying.

 

[LiveYourDream]

First 3 weeks of dating she gave me amazing head to get me off. Confessed to me she was raped 4 months prior And that’s why she kept rejecting me (red flag no **** I ignored it). I eventually made her comfortable enough to **** and the sex was great up until 3 weeks ago. it’s a control thing, she likes to be dominant because she lost that when she was raped. She tries to **** me when I don’t want it, when I want it she doesn’t want it. That’s part of the problem right there. When I’m hard and in the mood she doesn’t want it....

She gave you amazing head up until three weeks ago. Her rape history wasn’t stopping her from giving you all those amazing BJ’s. She gave you awesome BJ’s knowing it would help to get you hooked on her.

As soon as she has you hooked and you want her and more BJ’s, suddenly she can’t or won’t give them now?!?

Imho, it sounds more like she choose to give you awesome BJ’s intentionally, as a way to hook you and now that she has you, she’s reverted back to being more of who she
most likely truly is, a selfish and/or manipulative lover.

 

[cola]

Couple points I wanna make:

-You can’t determine if someone is “wifey” material in three months. You need to see how life effects her. How does she act when a tragedy happens? How does she treat you when you lose a job, or can’t do something important you promised? Does she lie about small things? Is she bad with money? Is she a complete slob and only cleans up prior to a guest arriving? You just can’t assess this stuff in months. I wouldn’t even utter the words “wife, marriage, proposal” or any of that for a minimum of 2-3 years.



-I’m always skeptical when a woman says she was raped. What does she mean exactly raped?I feel like the term is used too loosely by women. By raped, does she mean dragged in an alley by some strung out junkie and violently sexually assaulted, or does she mean she went to a bar with a guy, got too drunk, went to his house and doesn’t remember having sex?
While I agree they both are rape, the two situations would have totally different levels of psychological trauma.
If it was scenario one, highly unlikely she’d be ready to resume sexual activity after four months. I feel like society needs a different name for scenario two.

-Any woman who doesn’t sexually satisfy you, no matter what you are into isn’t going to be someone you can have a successful relationship with. It’s just not going to work.

From what I’ve read, she might not even be plate material, let alone “wife” material.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

You didn't screw her brains out, her imagination screwed her brains out, you were just a channel for her imagination to course through. That same imagination is now working against you.

You HAVE to go out and talk to other women, become desirable through your attitude and her imagination will work for you.

You need to talk to other women while in a relationship, you need to know your desirable.

 

[Glassguy]

Imho, beliefs such as this ^^^^ are dangerous for a man to have.

A "player" would never say such a thing. Only a beta.

 

[metalwater]

not going to work out for this one. based only on info in this thread.

stressed from work looks weak. have been in that spot, nothing you can do about it except work harder to get independent of the work. stress is when we have a challenge and no clear solution. kills our energy. not about working hard and being physically tired usually. usually, it is about conflict and not being in a winning position of that conflict. it changes our vibe and kills our libido usually.

she doesn't have oneitis for you now and if she did it was for the guy she thought you are that doesn't get stressed from work because he always wins. no one can hold that frame forever. well, not many, I sure can't.

until you do not need to work, you will sometimes get stressed at work. just how it is. do you want to support and be tied to a woman that does not and will not support you and does not have your back when you are being pushed? because from what you write you are hooked emotionally I think you should eject. this is going to get worse if not.

It's not beta/alpha stuff. just not the right girl or at least not the right time for her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Working out counteracts that being "beat down" by work and will allow you to carry positive strength. And lose the stress. When your Working like that, you HAVE to do for self.

not going to work out for this one. based only on info in this thread.

stressed from work looks weak. have been in that spot, nothing you can do about it except work harder to get independent of the work. stress is when we have a challenge and no clear solution. kills our energy. not about working hard and being physically tired usually. usually, it is about conflict and not being in a winning position of that conflict. it changes our vibe and kills our libido usually.

she doesn't have oneitis for you now and if she did it was for the guy she thought you are that doesn't get stressed from work because he always wins. no one can hold that frame forever. well, not many, I sure can't.

until you do not need to work, you will sometimes get stressed at work. just how it is. do you want to support and be tied to a woman that does not and will not support you and does not have your back when you are being pushed? because from what you write you are hooked emotionally I think you should eject. this is going to get worse if not.

It's not beta/alpha stuff. just not the right girl or at least not the right time for her.

 

[captain55]

You didn't screw her brains out, her imagination screwed her brains out, you were just a channel for her imagination to course through. That same imagination is now working against you.

You HAVE to go out and talk to other women, become desirable through your attitude and her imagination will work for you.

You need to talk to other women while in a relationship, you need to know your desirable.

interesting you say this. She grabbed my phone and saw some Snapchat’s from other hot women. I deleted them. When I really committed to her,thats when **** fell apart. When I had other bitches on my radar, things were better for me. She even asked me “baby are you hiding anything”

are you guys saying I have to cheat on her to keep her? I would rather not honestly just for karma

 

[captain55]

not going to work out for this one. based only on info in this thread.

stressed from work looks weak. have been in that spot, nothing you can do about it except work harder to get independent of the work. stress is when we have a challenge and no clear solution. kills our energy. not about working hard and being physically tired usually. usually, it is about conflict and not being in a winning position of that conflict. it changes our vibe and kills our libido usually.

she doesn't have oneitis for you now and if she did it was for the guy she thought you are that doesn't get stressed from work because he always wins. no one can hold that frame forever. well, not many, I sure can't.

until you do not need to work, you will sometimes get stressed at work. just how it is. do you want to support and be tied to a woman that does not and will not support you and does not have your back when you are being pushed? because from what you write you are hooked emotionally I think you should eject. this is going to get worse if not.

It's not beta/alpha stuff. just not the right girl or at least not the right time for her.

I told her it was from stress brother it wasn’t. The real reason was I started a steroid cycle. No way in **** I can admit that to her so I told her it was stress from work.

 

[captain55]

Guys I do want to say this. Things didn’t fall apart with her until she caught me talking to other women and called me out on it. She said “baby you wouldn’t be hiding anything from me right?” Ever since then it’s like I started caring too much instead of letting things happen naturally

at that moment I deleted the numbers and I decided to fully commit to her. Even though I never cheated on her, I had a couple girls I was keeping around in case **** hit the fan....but to be honest I’ve cheated on too many women and don’t want to cheat on this one.

It’s a ****ed up world we live in to where we have to spin plates to maintain frame with a woman we love. The guys saying it may be necessary to maintain frame...as much as I don’t want to admit it, I think it’s true sometimes. Women don’t respect loyalty. Come tot think of it I’ve never had a girl leave me for ****ing around on her lol

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Imho, beliefs such as this ^^^^ are dangerous for a man to have.

Especially after 3 months

 

[JayAce]

Yeah it sounds like you’re too into this chick, OP for such a short time period. I know it’s hard sometimes (even after going through a lot of things with women). I just know when I feel myself slipping like this it usually doesn’t work out because I’m already too invested to think 100% logically.

 

[Max Baker]

Whether you invest in chicks or not, its going to end at some point. Not investing keeps them invested and trying to hook you but soon they get sick of that and move on. Investing in them turns them off because they know they have you. Its a no win situation. She sounds like a manipulator and you should stay away form girls like that.

Just try to calm down, take a step back and look at the situation without emotions. Then you can work out on how to proceed.