Not talking makes you creepy

[everywomanshero]

A lot of guys seem worried about knowing the right things to say. Having a sense of being "cool" and knowing what to say is good, but you will never get that by self-regulating to the point that you do not speak much.

I have this guy in a class who I never see talking. He sits in the front row to make matters worse. He dresses like his mother picked out his clothes and is really goodboy-looking. All the girls in his group are completely creeped out by him and usually talk about him everytime he leaves the room.

It's really important to talk, even if you don't have the best thing to say. It's definitely true that the energy you use behind the talk is more important than the words themselves. Being overly negative also sends out a big msg "HEY EVERYONE, IM FRIGGING MISERABLE!". I think Mystery is a good example of someone who has a good vibe. With that type of positive projection, most things will go over well and the person will be happy to have met you.

Don't be the creep guy who's scared to talk. This should be obvious but in any group of more than 50 people, I';ll notice at least 5 or 6 people like this.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I agree with you but unfortunately even guys who want to be successful with women fall into the "mysterious" trap and believe that they will have more success if they let women do all of the talking. You think that it would be readily apparent that women would prefer outgoing, charismatic men rather than the stoic brooders who believe that mystery means avoiding their interaction during conversations.

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

But don't forget the other end,the guy that won't shut up.Some silence here and there builds tension (if you have EC and BL that is).Mystery is all about wanting her to know more,you can talk all day and she would be intrigued or say nothing and read you like an open book.

 

[Freddy1]

I personally have a problem with having things to talk about. I know alot of Factual things to talk about but this is the type of topic that wont go down good with most women. I'v been trying to write up a list of things to talk about myself.
How do you start with small talk and end up with big talk or rather have a good conversation with a girl? You cant exactly talk about the wheather.

Somethings to avoid like the plague:
Politics, religion, ex girlfriends, negative subjects

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

I personally have a problem with having things to talk about. I know alot of Factual things to talk about but this is the type of topic that wont go down good with most women. I'v been trying to write up a list of things to talk about myself.
How do you start with small talk and end up with big talk or rather have a good conversation with a girl? You cant exactly talk about the wheather.

Somethings to avoid like the plague:
Politics, religion, ex girlfriends, negative subjects

FIND A TALKER.

Find a dude who is LIKE YOU WANT TO BE. Someone that you look up to. Find a guy that can make conversation (in this case) with anyone and hang out.

It rubs off.


Works with everything else too! If you want to get in shape, find a training partner that is stronger (mentally) and ahead of you. Train and learn from this person. The discipline rubs off.


You want to get rich? Find a successful businessman, investor and make friends. Or ask him to be your mentor.

It rubs off. Chances are he'll also show you the tricks of the trade and how to make connections with the right people. Not only that but you can see just what else he does inhis life that makes him successful and you can copy that behaviour and use it to your advantage.



FInd people who are already doing what you want and learn from them. If you do the work, you WILL be successful. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it comes ALL AT ONCE.

Good Luck,

And goodbye.

 

[Freddy1]

FIND A TALKER.

Find a dude who is LIKE YOU WANT TO BE. Someone that you look up to. Find a guy that can make conversation (in this case) with anyone and hang out.

It rubs off.


Good Luck,

And goodbye.

I will take your advice.
I'm going to find some frined whose a good conversationist who can make conversations lively and interesting. GOOD IDEAL!

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

Call me Daddy has it dead on. I did exactly what he suggests both for conversational skills and weight lifting. I since have had physical problems that have kept me out of the weight room, but I'll be able to pick back up as soon as I'm better and with all of the knowledge I picked up from my friend. As far as conversation goes, people tell me I talk all the time, and I actually make people laugh. In high school (about 8 years ago when I first decided to change my lifestyle with the help of this website) I was more than an AFC, I was a creepy, quiet, shy, sloppy, AFC with almost no friends and no interpersonal skills. I emulated one of the most popular people in my class and over time I became who I am today: me.

 

[Freddy1]

Thats inspiring Deadly-Ripped!

 

[everywomanshero]

The point isn't why he's talking or not, the point is that if you don't talk then people will interpret you as being creepy. I think more often than not, this is the case. You are usually better off talking about BS than being quiet and waiting for the reason to talk.

Same with bodylanguage. A lot of what people interpret isn't true, that's why we have something called attribution errors, but it doesn't make any difference... if people will interpret X causing Y, then it doesn't matter if there is a true causal relationship or not. Besides you're using personal experience whereas we are discuss typical experience.

If you're a learning theorist, you can give yourself some reward everytime you bother being talkative.I think the key is to get in the routine of being talkative, rather than being really
talkative in one specific social situation and quiet in others. CMD has a good point on picking up this from others, I have learned a lot of really effective conversation strategies from diff. people. A lot of guys have one or two things they do really well, when you stack those it starts to add up fast.

Let's talk about some:

Positive Vibe: Mystery as I pointed out earlier. Just watch some of his vids.

Talking over other guys: Normally, you don't want to do this, but in certain situations it can work pretty well. This is kind of a negative thing though, and I think it's better to stay focused on the positive side.

Things that get you opened: Some guys have one or two things that are really good at getting them opened. It's pretty unimaginative, but you can steal those (ideas, not the items) and use them back in your part of the city.

What else?

 

[Mr_knowit_all]

The point isn't why he's talking or not, the point is that if you don't talk then people will interpret you as being creepy. I think more often than not, this is the case. You are usually better off talking about BS than being quiet and waiting for the reason to talk.

Same with bodylanguage. A lot of what people interpret isn't true, that's why we have something called attribution errors, but it doesn't make any difference... if people will interpret X causing Y, then it doesn't matter if there is a true causal relationship or not. Besides you're using personal experience whereas we are discuss typical experience.

If you're a learning theorist, you can give yourself some reward everytime you bother being talkative.I think the key is to get in the routine of being talkative, rather than being really
talkative in one specific social situation and quiet in others. CMD has a good point on picking up this from others, I have learned a lot of really effective conversation strategies from diff. people. A lot of guys have one or two things they do really well, when you stack those it starts to add up fast.

Let's talk about some:

Positive Vibe: Mystery as I pointed out earlier. Just watch some of his vids.

Talking over other guys: Normally, you don't want to do this, but in certain situations it can work pretty well. This is kind of a negative thing though, and I think it's better to stay focused on the positive side.

Things that get you opened: Some guys have one or two things that are really good at getting them opened. It's pretty unimaginative, but you can steal those (ideas, not the items) and use them back in your part of the city.

What else?

This is nonsense. Let's face it, to some women, especially those in college, if you're not some "cute frat guy", you're perceived as creepy.

If you talk too much, you're perceived as creepy.....If you say something in the wrong tone of voice, you're creepy.....fvck that.

I think the most UN-attractive thing someone can do is put too much emphasis on what other people think. It's OK to be outgoing, but if your natural tendency is to be a bit more reserved, I wouldn't change just because some chick thinks I'm creepy.....

Again, political correctness gone haywire. Guys are walking around on egg shells, while women are filing a record number of harassment suits. Perhaps they should give up guys and become lesbos if they're so CREEPED OUT all the time.

P.S. I also think is does no good for guys like "hero" to look to women for some type of validation. People are going to think what the want to think; women included. If you're doing it the right way for one person, another person won't like it. It's ridiculous to waste your energy on such nonsense.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Call me Daddy has it dead on. I did exactly what he suggests both for conversational skills and weight lifting. I since have had physical problems that have kept me out of the weight room, but I'll be able to pick back up as soon as I'm better and with all of the knowledge I picked up from my friend. As far as conversation goes, people tell me I talk all the time, and I actually make people laugh. In high school (about 8 years ago when I first decided to change my lifestyle with the help of this website) I was more than an AFC, I was a creepy, quiet, shy, sloppy, AFC with almost no friends and no interpersonal skills. I emulated one of the most popular people in my class and over time I became who I am today: me.

BRAVO!!

I did the same thing also. I started to spend more time with a friend of mine who is a social *****. Already its taking it's toll.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I personally have a problem with having things to talk about. I know alot of Factual things to talk about but this is the type of topic that wont go down good with most women. I'v been trying to write up a list of things to talk about myself.
How do you start with small talk and end up with big talk or rather have a good conversation with a girl? You cant exactly talk about the wheather.

Somethings to avoid like the plague:
Politics, religion, ex girlfriends, negative subjects

How about your life, your plans and dreams, your childhood (how you use to get into trouble), your travels, your hobbies. Life is an experience, take notice of what's going on, have an opinion about those things and talk about them.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

I find that I'm MUCH MUCH MUCH more talkative and playful when I don't jerk off. In fact, I've stopped doing it except for the occasional knuckle child to avoid waking up and having to clean up. It was SO FING HARD to avoid doing at first, but after a week or two, it's not so bad at all. I am more aggressive, I workout harder, I get **** done easier, I wake up easier, and I'm more energetic and outgoing around my friends

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

I find that I'm MUCH MUCH MUCH more talkative and playful when I don't jerk off. In fact, I've stopped doing it except for the occasional knuckle child to avoid waking up and having to clean up. It was SO FING HARD to avoid doing at first, but after a week or two, it's not so bad at all. I am more aggressive, I workout harder, I get **** done easier, I wake up easier, and I'm more energetic and outgoing around my friends

How often do you get sex/masturbate?

What is your frequency of ejaculation?

Every________ what?


I've also found that after a week the drive goes WAY UP. But then it crashes unless I don't do it regularly... like once every 7-8 days.

 

[PJD]

How often do you get sex/masturbate?

What is your frequency of ejaculation?

Every________ what?


I've also found that after a week the drive goes WAY UP. But then it crashes unless I don't do it regularly... like once every 7-8 days.

Your experience is exactly inline with a chinese study of 10 men I read about. It found that testosterone levels in the men remained fairly steady, but on the 7th day, it had a giant peak, of approximately 147%. But soon after it went back to normal again.

 

[Deadly_Ripped]

About once per week if I'm not getting laid, and I try not to ever jerk off if I'm getting laid...

It just speeds sex up because if a rubber's on I go for like 2 or 3 hours and never pop one off if I'm jerkin it on the reg.

I usually have someone around to bone. The longest I've gone in the past 3 years without getting laid is about 3 months, and that just happened once. Unless I've got a gf it's like once per week to 2 or 3 times per month.

 

[Freddy1]

How about your life, your plans and dreams, your childhood (how you use to get into trouble), your travels, your hobbies. Life is an experience, take notice of what's going on, have an opinion about those things and talk about them.

Hey thanks Francisco. I will utilize some of those.
I must admit my life experinces are limited I lived a pretty sheltered life for many years. Its only now I'm really exploring the world.
I've been trying to write up a list of things to talk about.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Hey thanks Francisco. I will utilize some of those.
I must admit my life experinces are limited I lived a pretty sheltered life for many years. Its only now I'm really exploring the world.
I've been trying to write up a list of things to talk about.

Going against giving away what I usually talk about on initial meetings I'll give away one nugget of gold that I use to not only spur on a good conversation but to also qualify a woman. I just ask her if money nor time away from work was an issue, where would she go and what would she do. You'd be surprised at what you can gather from her answer.

 

[PRMoon]

I'm all for talking but I also think staying some what reserved can be helpful. When I'm out by myself, at the bar or what have you, I usually sit by myself near some vacent seats unless I see some one I'd like to sit next to. I order a drink watch tv and check the scene from time to time. I'm usually thinking and not speaking. Thinking about my day, my life, what I want to do, who I can call, sports so i'm not saying much of anything. If someone walks in who I'd like to associate with I'll give signals but interject ONCE at the right time saying the right thing.

If I'm out with friends I'm usually quiter still because I'm thinking about what I want to accomplish that night and how I want to go about doing it. I'm thinking about the type of girl I want to meet or could potentially meet. I'm also thinking about where we're going the layout even if I haven't been there etc etc but I'm not really saying too much of anything. If my friend meets some one or brings another friend into the fold I'll shake hands and say hello but little else. I won't actually start speaking until I know what I've got myself on a postive track and know where I'm going with my conversations and my game is in full swing.

In school I rarely spoke in class besides the people to my imeadeate left and imeadeate right if it was in a class room. In lecture halls I would only speak when I had a really good point to be made for the class that needed further discussion.

What I'm driving at is what you say can have a significant effect on peoples view of you even if you're not saying all that much.

 

[comic_relief]

Hey guys,

I was in this category of not that talkative. You know what I did? I started to actually live life and get life experience. Soon as that happened, I started having stories to tell like, "Yeah, I know what you mean, when I was living in Florida and I was down at the Florida Keys . . ." All of a sudden I have the interest of the entire group.

Just last week, I went to West VA and I slipped off of a five foot waterfall and fell on a rock, then went cave splunking. I immeadiately have about twenty different stories to tell.

I think the way to have a lot to talk about is to just live life. Not let life pass you by.

People just need to start living their lives to its fullest instead of just sitting around.

comic_relief