Not sure to Next or Pursue

[Donaldinho]

A couple weeks ago a (female) cousin of mine met this girl and for whatever reason she thought to set me up with this girl. So the girl looks me up on FB and friends me.
Cousin calls me to let me know, at first I was skeptical, but the girl is HB 7-8 from the pics I saw, so what the hell.
I message the girl on fb (I didn't have her # or any other contact info) to say let's hang out. The next day she messages me back saying she'd love to and gives me her #.
I text her towards the end of the week to meet up the coming saturday (I can only do weekends for now, due to other factors, otherwise she'd have gotten a week day). I get no answer so I text back saturday saying I can't do it anymore (still haven't gotten an answer at this point). She texts back that she couldn't meet that weekend.
Next week, same deal, text for a saturday meet, this time she texts back after a few hours saying she can't this weekend, but offers up the next weekend (which was this weekend).
And AGAIN, this week I text midweek for saturday and get no answer (been 2-3 days now).
Question is, I kind of think it's time to next her, but then again I've never met face to face with her so I feel I didn't get a good crack at her.
What do you guys think?

 

[Purefilth]

low/no interest. Next.

 

[devilkingx2]

why would you possibly pursue? you have no reason to proceed, drop her and don't talk to her anymore, what a waste of your time.

 

[VladPatton]

Don't delete her just yet. Wait a month and see if she hits you up on her own. Don't contact her anymore, stay silent, you did your part. If no contact in a month, she's got deek somewhere else.

 

[LondonTowers]

I don't think this has anything to do with you. She probably has another option that got there before you. She knows you are down for meeting up so just go silent now. If her other prospect doesn't pan out she will get back in contact and you can have your crack then. If you start sounding needy or p1ssed off now. You won't ever get that chance.

 

[Meisterman]

You shouldn't actually "next" her yet, but you should detach mentally/emotionally. The ball is in her court now. If she hits you up in the future then cool. Go from there. But mentally you need to tell yourself it's over and move on, you can't be checking your phone every 2 hours hoping she hit you up. You did your part. Now just move on and focus on yourself and let things unfold as they may.

 

[nismo-4]

Don't hold your breath.

Why are you even wasting your time with this girl? She blew you off twice, what more signs do you need to see the fact she's not interested?

Unfortunately, you can't next a girl you haven't f**ked. She already nexted you first, so just bury the hatchet and move to another girl who has more interest in you.

Online attention wh0res piss me off.

Case closed.

 

[Donaldinho]

Thanks for the input guys, I'm going to go silent on her and not actively pursue.
Like you said, if she comes back, good, otherwise no biggie, got other prospects to work on.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

"Texting KILLS (potential) Relationships." You should have called her.

(Note to the pro-texting crowd: I already know someone's going to want to say "but if she didn't have interest, it wouldn't matter if he called or texted her." Psychologically, though, it does. For one, the boldness of the action of being willing to pick up the phone and have a vocal conversation with her is more impressive and attractive to a girl than the "safeness" of the texting action. And two, being able to hear how a person sounds allows you to better gauge the kind of person they are, and if you'd enjoy being around them or not; text, meanwhile, can be worded in a way that makes you appear cold, too sarcastic, not fun to be around, etc. So, even if she didn't pick up and he would have left a message, he would have had a better chance of her responding back based upon her liking the way he sounded in said message.)

 

[LMFAO]

"Texting KILLS (potential) Relationships." You should have called her.

(Note to the pro-texting crowd: I already know someone's going to want to say "but if she didn't have interest, it wouldn't matter if he called or texted her." Psychologically, though, it does. For one, the boldness of the action of being willing to pick up the phone and have a vocal conversation with her is more impressive and attractive to a girl than the "safeness" of the texting action. And two, being able to hear how a person sounds allows you to better gauge the kind of person they are, and if you'd enjoy being around them or not; text, meanwhile, can be worded in a way that makes you appear cold, too sarcastic, not fun to be around, etc. So, even if she didn't pick up and he would have left a message, he would have had a better chance of her responding back based upon her liking the way he sounded in said message.)

There are conflicting opinions on this:

"Calling Girls: Texting is Better

Okay, if you liked the above… if you also consider it GOOD NEWS that you don’t have to be overly clever and gimmicky in your texts… then you will REALLY like what I have to say about calling girls.

I don’t ever call girls anymore!

what to text girls

Just like with text game, I spent a LOT of time working on my “phone game”. I studied it, practiced it, analyzed it, and collected a TON of empirical data about it, from the first phone call to the last one.

And while I found that a minimalist approach often works best with texting, this is even more extreme with the phone: it’s often best not to talk on the phone at all.

I know some guys who are really good at talking to girls on the phone, getting them attracted by teasing them, breaking the ice and creating a nice vibe that will guarantee that the girl will meet them again… so this is a bit a matter of preference, and different things work for different people.

But for me, there’s a reason…


…Why I Never Call Girls

In most cases, it’s highly likely the she’s busy when you call. She might be with a friend (or a boyfriend, for that matter)… she might be sleeping, she might be at work, she might be doing one of a million things.

When do people EVER have nothing to do other than sit waiting for a call… especially in this day and age? Pretty much never!

If she doesn’t pick up the phone, she will usually call back or send a text as soon as she’s free… unless she wasn’t attracted enough in the first place. She has SEEN your call… there is no good reason to start chasing after her like a puppy now.

But a text is non-intrusive. She can answer whenever she's free. She WILL answer if she likes you…. So there is no need to mess around with phone calls. And if you know what to text girls, you will usually get a response sooner or later. Even if you're incredible at phone calls there's no guarantee she calls back.

Phone calls with strangers can also be somewhat awkward. Sure, there are ways to consistently break the ice on the phone, or to even “script” your phone calls… but talking in person is a lot more natural.

The Exception to the No-Calls Rule

There are a few rare exceptions to this rule.

Sometimes it can really help to vibe with her a bit... maybe she’s on the fence about meeting you, and if she can tell over the phone that you’re a normal person and a cool dude that she can have a non-awkward conversation with, this might up your chances a lot.

But even in that case, I prefer to at least ask her in text first when a good time to call would be."

http://www.girlschase.com/content/what-text-girls-get-dates

 

[randombrah1]

You shouldn't actually "next" her yet, but you should detach mentally/emotionally. The ball is in her court now. If she hits you up in the future then cool. Go from there. But mentally you need to tell yourself it's over and move on, you can't be checking your phone every 2 hours hoping she hit you up. You did your part. Now just move on and focus on yourself and let things unfold as they may.

This ^

Put her on the back burner just as she does with you. Talk to other girls and make plans to hang out.

If in a few weeks you are going out, lets say a party, hit her up with "Im going to a party in XX at XX, you should come by, it'll be fun!" and let it be. If after doing this once or twice, then next completely. Low interest seems to get interested if you have that "dont give up attitude" while at the same time you have options. But dont fool yourself by not going out with other girls and using this tactic with her. It might work, but your inner self will still be on the same weak place, and thats no bueno.

 

[Donaldinho]

As for the call/text debate, I have no issues with calling to make further arrangements, but I tend to favor texting because I believe it gives off a more laid back vibe and I hate leaving a message or playing phone tag.
Then there's the chance she'll call back while I'm in meetings or with other plates etc. Far easier to just glance at texts and respond when I'm available (or make her wait to seem like I'm busy, but usually I actually am busy).
Anyway, I wasn't desperately waiting for a reply, that's why the first time around I texted back a few days later.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

You can't really expect a girl you've never met in real life to be so keen on prioritizing you right off the bat.

Two problems I see here in your approach:

1) Trying to set up a time to hang out so far in advance, the way I'm reading this your asking her a week or so in advance.

And 2, which is probably the bigger issue:

2) You don't have a specific plan - a place and time for her to meet you.

How far away does she live from you? Same city, hour away etc?

When she told you she wasn't available this weekend, but she was free the following week, you should have had a set plan (see number 2 above)

Then all you would've needed to do is hit her up the day of telling her you're on your way.

You gave her an out and since you plan was poor (you didn't have a plan) it was easy for her to not commit.

Be smarter about this and take the lead and you will get your chance.








PIMP

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I'll piggy-back off what Pimp-sicle just said: with no plan, there's nothing for her to get excited about.

Think about when you were a kid. Your parents come to you to talk about going out that weekend. Which one of the following would you be more apt to respond to:

Example 1: "Hey son, what are you doing Saturday morning? Keep it open so we can hang out."

Example 2. "Hey son, what are you doing Saturday morning? I want to take you to [an amusement park; a new pizza place in town; your favorite cousin's house] so hopefully you don't have any plans already!"

Most likely, you're going to be more amped up if they used example #2. Why? Because they're giving you an idea of what's going to happen, which is going to make you feel motivated to respond with a "yes." Unlike the first example, where things are vague, you can't really figure out what's going on, and - if you already have other plans - you're less likely to change them because you can't gauge the level of fun you may have were you to say "yes" to their invite of the unknown.

So yeah... always have a plan that you're ready to TELL THEM about when you ask them out. This isn't the time for surprise dates, btw - those come later after you've taken her out a few times and you have a better idea of what she likes. For now, always let them know what you have planned - a man with a plan is a man that gets DATES.

 

[Donaldinho]

You guys are right about having a plan. I should've had something more concrete, but I was just trying to figure out a time since she works different hours. So rather than going through the whole "I can't, I'm working then" I wanted to get a time that was good, then I was going to say "OK, meet me at X place at Y time".
I wasn't asking a week in advance, I'd text midweek for saturday, so 2-3 days in advance.
Pimp-sicle, I agree about her not prioritizing me since we've never met face to face, which is why I posted the question here. If this was for a 2nd date, I would've gotten the message, but we haven't even been on a first date heh

 

[sylvester the cat]

Never mind not calling her. A real man would have knocked on her door. This is why you were rejected.

 

[Donaldinho]

Nah, a REAL man would've dragged her by the hair into his cave while wielding a bat in his other hand.