Not someone who likes to commit...

[Makro2323]

When a chick says she isn't the kind of person who is into relationships and is someone who likes to drift, is this actually true?

Bear in mind this wasn't a response I got after asking someone out, it's just an off the cuff remark from a girl I like. Surely every girl likes relationships if their interest level is high enough? Do you think there are any genuine reasons why someone might say they're not the type that are into relationships?

 

[PlayToWin]

I myself have run into girls that have said this before, be it either a friend of mine who is a girl, or a more recently a girl I was dating for a bit, it kind of came up somehow in a conversation about something else. I think it depends on the girl to be honest. I have heard girls say they totally don't want a relationship with anyone and 3 months later they are acting like they are in love. Others have said it and despite plenty of guys asking them out or for there numbers, I have not seen them hook up with anyone or go on any dates with anyone, and this girl is someone I hang out with frequently as a friend.

So I think it all depends, some girls say it and its just because they have not met a guy they had a high enough interest level in. Others say it for a variety of reasons, whether its because they have a very low sex drive(rare but happens) or maybe they are just looking for flings because they are either busy in other aspects of there life or just plain aren't in a stage to settle down.

 

[Makro2323]

Well it's not a low sex drive anyway She's 23, so I'm not sure what stage she could possibly be at given that in 5 years she'll be heading over the hill, and she hasn't recently broken up with anyone. Do you think this situation's worth pursuing, if even just for sex?

I don't see the point really as ultimately I'm the kind of person that wants a relationship in the end, but I guess her statements only serve to make her more of a challenge and therefore more attractive...

 

[PlayToWin]

If my opinion if you base every girl you meet on whether they could be potential marriage material then I think you are going to unfortunately be lonely and bored for a while. My philosophy is that a lot of girls out there have something going good for them and are worth pursueing for whatever they qualities are as long as they are into you as well. For example some girls may be extremely funny, some are fun to party with, some are good friends to talk to, some are a fun date, some have great bodies, some have great faces, some are freaks in bed. Basically my point is, that most girls have at least a couple of things going for them and it makes more sense to be having fun dating or spinning plates with these girls than it does to be alone at home by yourself.

Then one day you will meet someone and they will grow on you or maybe it will just click and then you might marry them. But if this girl is 23 then you are probably around that same age and you should use this time to be having fun, in this day in age getting married at 35 is not even considered unusual anymore.

So my answer is most definiately pursue this girl with sex in mind, and if she turns out to be more than that than so be it. You can't go around looking for a relationship right off the bat otherwise you'll come off as way to needy and you will get attached to every girl you date and end up getting oneitis. Relationships are something that generally just happen over the course of weeks of months where both parties get attached from what started normally as just a fling.

 

[Makro2323]

Thanks PlayToWin, very good advice.