not returning the call

[crotchrocket]

How do you deal with a girl who didn't return your phone call? What is the right way?

I know the whole thing about not phoning too much, not leaving several messages and on and on... But it is inevitable, eventually you're going to have to leave a message. Whether it is a girl you've dated a hundred times or a girl you've dated just once, it's going to happen-you leave a message. And as inevitable as it is that you are going to have to leave a message, so to is it that the girl in question will eventually not return that message, whether it be just once, or repeatedly. This is not 'she's not interested' issue here, I'm not looking for the answer to anything but dealing with her-not returning the call.

What is the proper way to handle it the next time you see her? Not mention it? How do you let her know that you don't tolerate rude behavior, without sounding like ... a whiner, AFC...?

 

[Krunk Widdit]

what up

Listen man, If you really want this brod, wait a few more days then give her another call back.

Now, If you guys have a good talk and what not, then she doesn't return your call. Just forget about her.

Since she didn't return your first phone call, it might be that she was busy, or lost your number, or plain simply she doesn't want you. I've done the same sh!t , but reversed. It could be a number of things, but don't overanalyze this

NOW, as far as seeing her again. If it were me, I would act like it never happened. When you see her, just say a "Hi" and that is it. Don't even say "How are you?" because then she might start yappin the lips. DO NOT TELL her that you don't accept the "rude behavior" , cuz frankly man, if she didn't return your call(supposing she is not feelin you), then she could care less if you dont accept the "rude behavior", then you will look like a square.

 

[Aztec]

A lot of things may be going in your head why this chick you totally adore didn't (or doesn't) call you back.

Give her the benefit of the doubt, call after 3-4 days later but not the weekend. I know that those days that you just have this burning desire to call her right away. Do something else to keep yourself busy otherwise flying thoughts of AFCness will hover over your head.

Aztec

 

[jakeyboy]

yup, wait a few days then call. if she still flakes on you then (i assume you're calling for a date) she's not fvcking worth your time. delete her number and look for a chick that responds to your call.

 

[tristan22]

Some of you may disagree, however through experience i have concluded that leaving a message on a females phone is golden when it comes to finding out whether or not she's interested.

If you leave a message and she doesn't call back chances are she's not interested. Even if she does have some interest, if she's not calling you back you're low on her priority list. Why give her the benefit of the doubt and call her back?

Listen fellas, females will blow your phone up when interest is high!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by tristan22
Some of you may disagree, however through experience i have concluded that leaving a message on a females phone is golden when it comes to finding out whether or not she's interested.

If you leave a message and she doesn't call back chances are she's not interested. Even if she does have some interest, if she's not calling you back you're low on her priority list. Why give her the benefit of the doubt and call her back?

Listen fellas, females will blow your phone up when interest is high!

It's as simple as that. I said it before and I'll say it again, if you're sarging multiple women at once, you won't have time to worry about one or two that haven't returned your call.

 

[crotchrocket]

When they don't call back, is it always an indication of low interest or can it be some sort of 'test' that we all fail when we don't persist? that's what I'm wondering. I've heard at several weddings that I've gone to the groom telling, "at first she didn't even return my calls..." and how he persisted to snag his hb.

I agree with tristan22 in that it can give you some insight as to where you stand on her priority list,. and I do agree that a chic with high interest will light your phone up, but is that the only women that a DJ should go after, the easy ones? the ones with immediate high interest?

For me it is the ones that have some fairly obvious signs of interest that always surprise me and do this. The HB 8+ chic that inspired my question this time, at the end of our first date (2-1/2 hour ride on my sportbike), told me she wondered if it was me with every bike she saw ride by the days before, invited me to a football game with her and friends after our ride (I couldn't go-I had another date), sounded and looked disappointed when she said "I'll see you on monday" (at a class we take together) and I told her I wouldn't be there, she even stood on her front lawn and watched me ride away until I was out of site... I could go on.

Unless she hooked up with another guy since (that's happened to me before) and I have become low priority-maybe, and I'm fine with it, I have other options.

But if it is a test, how long will it be before the next chic is doing the same thing?, so isn't handling it right somewhat important?

 

[becker]

Originally posted by tristan22
Some of you may disagree, however through experience i have concluded that leaving a message on a females phone is golden when it comes to finding out whether or not she's interested.

If you leave a message and she doesn't call back chances are she's not interested. Even if she does have some interest, if she's not calling you back you're low on her priority list. Why give her the benefit of the doubt and call her back?

Listen fellas, females will blow your phone up when interest is high!

I'd agree, but only to a certain extent because a girl may think the same way as us, meaning that they do not want to come off as desperate and will therefore not contact you immediately. A girl right now that I'm playing this type of game (it's so stupid in my opinion) will call me back, so she's at least showing signs of interest, but at the same time, we are not exactly dating regularly.

It's always so difficult it seems to move from that initial date to the second date when you aren't sure of how she feels about you. I know she agreed to do something with me this coming weekend, so I guess that's a good thing, but my friend is coming along because I figured out this activity for us to do which involves her opinion on making the guy over. Sort of a cool original project I guess, lol.

 

[2niceaguy]

c.rocket,
Do a search of this topic and you will get many different viewpoints and advice. Many say don't bring it up, because she probably will at some point and then you can address it. Others say act like it never happened and was no big deal. I know you may feel "played or punk'd" right now and in a way you were like we all have been but DO NOT GET EMOTIONAL about it. If it is a stupid game then realize that and play it off. If she just doesn't like you or has low IL then realize that and don't take it personal. I, as you do, expect people to keep their word and be accountable when they tell me they are going to do something...this apparently doesn't apply to woman and dating them. They will flake and play games galore. This site helped me realize how many games most all women can actually play or are capable of playing. No matter how "nice, kind, sweet, different" you think they are they are capable of games and bullsh*t.
I may not leave a message (comes off as desperate/needy) I would wait to run into her again in person and let her bring it up or just move on from it. Ask her to do something again in person and wait for an answer. If she says she'll call you then she may just be playing you and then you will know or she may call this time. You see games where the woman makes up the rules as she goes along are tough for us to know how to play by so if it looks like a game player you may just save yourself the time and NEXT her. Good luck.

 

[becker]

A good example happened to me just today.

I spoke to a gal I went out with one night like a month ago tonight. She has a lot of stuff going on in her life, meaning that there just always seems to be something happening. Her mom is in town, she's got friends who are guys over at her place, etc. I'd call her, and she wouldn't return some of my calls.

This happened for like 3 weeks to a month, and there were sooo many times where I could have just made an issue out of her not calling me back, but I didn't. I played it totally cool.

See, the hard part for most guys here is that they have a hard time not being able to see the girl. I agree that this part sucks the most, because if you like her to any degree, you want to spend time with her. The key is to just play it cool. Keep in touch with her, don't have that urge if at all possible.

Anyways, this girl's friend just left and I asked her to do something this week, and she was totally up for it. I told her I'd call her tomorrow, and she totally wanted to do something with me.

There's something about not panicking in such situations that works. However, as you can see, it is very time consuming, hence the need to have other women on the side. I personally don't like juggling women, but apparently that's what must be done.

 

[jakeyboy]

Originally posted by tristan22
Some of you may disagree, however through experience i have concluded that leaving a message on a females phone is golden when it comes to finding out whether or not she's interested.

If you leave a message and she doesn't call back chances are she's not interested. Even if she does have some interest, if she's not calling you back you're low on her priority list. Why give her the benefit of the doubt and call her back?

Listen fellas, females will blow your phone up when interest is high!

look at it this way, most phones nowadays have caller IDs, your number will sure as hell be reflected on her phone. if she's interested, she'll call. dont waste your breath over a msg unless you're sure she doesnt have caller id... its a matter of preference i guess

 

[crotchrocket]

becker, your example from today sounds like the girl that inspired this post (and many others I've dealt with before for that matter), and interestingly enough before I started this post I had decided to drop it until I see her in person again, which will be sometime in the next week or two-guaranteed.

According to the replies here it seems I have been playing it right all along, I guess you never know until you ask. I have been accused by women (my last long term girlfriend in particular) that I play it cool because I don't care (which isn't true), so playing it cool is not a problem for me, and I will continue to do so.

Even though the games these women play can occasionally be somewhat annoying I do usually see the importance of seeing these things as just that, games. Emotion really doesn't enter into it for me, (at worst -maybe briefly but privately) and I certainly would never let them see it get to me.

Patience is a virtue, and never is this more true than when dealing with women, particularily the hottest and most popular ones. I guess we should all be thankful for the challenges that women give us, if there were no challenges, what would separate the men from the boys, the AFC's from the DJ's? Thanks guys for the input!