Not replying is the best policy always?

[BackInTheGame78]

Yeah im doing things differently this time

When she messaged me she just got home on friday and the whatsapp messages didnt deliver ahe didnt say it was battery just she got home. I didnt respond quickly like she is used to so 8 mins later she replies with how about tomorrow instead? Saturday.

I delayed responding and reading till after midnight made her sweat a bit ans said it depends if she has her data on cos it isnt gona be easy finding each other where we meet.

She replies 20 mins later i went to sleep so didnt see it ajd replied in the morning

Me making her wait longer seemed to increase her speed.

But she ends up telling me she is late when we met.

I evem am paranoid now she met someone else before me hence why she was late cos she said she had a drink, she wouldnt let me kiss her when we were fooling around in the car she let me touch and suck her tits andnwe proh woule have f'd if a car didnt come by and startled her. We were parked outside her friends apartment she was staying with

But during the car ride back she said a friend was coming to visit her i suspect now maybe her plan was some guy was coming but cos we were getting back late it never happened it seems weird tho cos she was staying with a female friend.

So basically i dont know why she wouldnt let me kiss he maybe her breath smelt or conscious of it.

But her actions now lead to someone who had a date with someone before me then was horny i happen to be her ride home s was horny with me as she was ready to f*ck.

Then 180's when we parted.

Her actions now show someone who has sexond thought but regardless im trying to do things differently rhis time to see the results like this is the first time i waited before responding and made them sweat

Likewise now not replying to her let's try this weekend?

She knows i set aside monday for her today as took day off and she doesnt even want to meet anymore.

I have had this happen many times before and still baffled one min all over you asking when they csn see you again to having buyers remorse the next day

From what I am understanding this is simply a scenario where she isn't that into you, but you had a chance to fvck her because of right place, right time.

You didn't take it. That's on you.

Her interest level is low, but she probably would have fvcked you that night. This does NOT mean she is actually interested. It means you were the d!ck that was available to her that night when she wanted it, but you didn't deliver.

Now she likely has other c0cks available and you are not on that list of ones she wants.

Just because a woman may be interested in sex one night because she is horny does not mean she wants to date you or wants it on a frequent basis from you.

You seem to be swimming upstream a lot instead of making it easier on yourself.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Yeah im doing things differently this time

When she messaged me she just got home on friday and the whatsapp messages didnt deliver ahe didnt say it was battery just she got home. I didnt respond quickly like she is used to so 8 mins later she replies with how about tomorrow instead? Saturday.

I delayed responding and reading till after midnight made her sweat a bit ans said it depends if she has her data on cos it isnt gona be easy finding each other where we meet.

She replies 20 mins later i went to sleep so didnt see it ajd replied in the morning

Me making her wait longer seemed to increase her speed.

But she ends up telling me she is late when we met.

I evem am paranoid now she met someone else before me hence why she was late cos she said she had a drink, she wouldnt let me kiss her when we were fooling around in the car she let me touch and suck her tits andnwe proh woule have f'd if a car didnt come by and startled her. We were parked outside her friends apartment she was staying with

But during the car ride back she said a friend was coming to visit her i suspect now maybe her plan was some guy was coming but cos we were getting back late it never happened it seems weird tho cos she was staying with a female friend.

So basically i dont know why she wouldnt let me kiss he maybe her breath smelt or conscious of it.

But her actions now lead to someone who had a date with someone before me then was horny i happen to be her ride home s was horny with me as she was ready to f*ck.

Then 180's when we parted.

Her actions now show someone who has sexond thought but regardless im trying to do things differently rhis time to see the results like this is the first time i waited before responding and made them sweat

Likewise now not replying to her let's try this weekend?

She knows i set aside monday for her today as took day off and she doesnt even want to meet anymore.

I have had this happen many times before and still baffled one min all over you asking when they csn see you again to having buyers remorse the next day

I’ll be honest, you sound like a lot of work. You’re not making anyone sweat by texting them back at 20 minute intervals in the middle of the night. You could have just waited until the morning (even late morning) like a normal person who had typical sleeping habits, maybe a job or a gym to go to, something. But you may as well have said to her in a flyby beach airplane banner that you’re hanging on everything she does.

Secondly, the entire idea of playing games is also dumb and in your case painfully transparent. If you had confidence and intent you simply could have just said yes, no, offered a better time for you, and been done with it in a kind way and said see you then excited to see you. Act like a grown man with a life and abundance.

I don’t mean to be harsh but see the shoe from the other foot. Does a guy with options and resources and experience really think this hard?

 

[pete101]

I’ll be honest, you sound like a lot of work. You’re not making anyone sweat by texting them back at 20 minute intervals in the middle of the night. You could have just waited until the morning (even late morning) like a normal person who had typical sleeping habits, maybe a job or a gym to go to, something. But you may as well have said to her in a flyby beach airplane banner that you’re hanging on everything she does.

Secondly, the entire idea of playing games is also dumb and in your case painfully transparent. If you had confidence and intent you simply could have just said yes, no, offered a better time for you, and been done with it in a kind way and said see you then excited to see you. Act like a grown man with a life and abundance.

I don’t mean to be harsh but see the shoe from the other foot. Does a guy with options and resources and experience really think this hard?

I cant magically create options when i need them

I delayed messaging it was friday night i waited till midnight it seemed to work as usually i respond fast to everyone she responded quicker than normal

Then i waited till morning to reply as went to sleep.

Im very specific about what im looking for he happened to be coming over and fit that description i tried to find new options before she arrived to avoid this scenario.

I felt time pressured as she isnt here long.

Regardless of the time constraint i have to stay firm and not take the bait even if she offers to meet as she will just see it as me being available on demand which will further decline the IL i already lost

 

[Learning Curve]

She doeant reply to me about getting together yesterday night and a hotel nor spending time today as originally planned.

Pull-back 100%. Let her chase and contact only. Let her bring up getting together again, you stop arranging dates.

Im basically second choice and i have to remove myself from the situation.

Maybe yes, maybe not, maybe she is busy and maybe you did something to lower her attraction considering you are butt hurt for a whatsapp message. What ever the case is, i'm not justifying her actions but i always like to look at both sides before making an assumption.

Even being a second choice does not really matter at this stage. You can reverse situations like this quite easy by simply pulling back and seeing her true interest. She will either reach out and arrange a date or you just saved plenty of time.

I have a very specific woman in mind nationality and ethnicity wise and she was what i was looking for im just butt hurt she isnt what i hoped she would be more accurately she isnt into me as i was hoping.

Yes this is your problem. "Butt hurt"

You can't force attraction. You need to create it. By you being on your A+ Game. Not being on your C Game.

The way you talk and behave translates to this woman you are insecure and needy. If i was a woman i would have probably also canceled a date on you. Again. Neediness, being butt hurt over messages and being impatient is unnatractive.

 

[pete101]

Pull-back 100%. Let her chase and contact only. Let her bring up getting together again, you stop arranging dates.



Maybe yes, maybe not, maybe she is busy and maybe you did something to lower her attraction considering you are butt hurt for a whatsapp message. What ever the case is, i'm not justifying her actions but i always like to look at both sides before making an assumption.

Even being a second choice does not really matter at this stage. You can reverse situations like this quite easy by simply pulling back and seeing her true interest. She will either reach out and arrange a date or you just saved plenty of time.



Yes this is your problem. "Butt hurt"

You can't force attraction. You need to create it. By you being on your A+ Game. Not being on your C Game.

The way you talk and behave translates to this woman you are insecure and needy. If i was a woman i would have probably also canceled a date on you. Again. Neediness, being butt hurt over messages and being impatient is unnatractive.

I didn't communicate the butt hurt over message this is how im feeling outside.

1 min she is like when can i see you again

Then she is like sorry i cant today.

I should have left it there hut my time constraint is she leaves in a week.

Also i feel disrespected i took a day off to spend time with her and she just blew me off with a sorry.

She is meeting other guys off the app that is why she was vague about her plans and non commital

I have to be to the fact she hasnt followed up since i ignored her 'let's try this weekend?' Tells me she isnt interested anymore and nor should i be.

What confuses me is if we dont bring our A+ game how much leeway do you give women like this in regards to even potential long term situation even if she just comes back into my life?

Like the rules are there needs to be high interest from the start, red flag if there isnt, likewise if she is late red flag there also esp telling you an hour before hand she is running late if she had high interest then she wouldnt want to do anything to jeopardise losing you and the question is in general how much leeway is given when it is a stranger you never met + you didn't come with your A game?

Cos i will never trust her cos if i follow the rules on here about super IL from the start no hot cold, no flaking no non commitals or I'll let you know then she will forever be downgraded and i should avoid meeting her again to not be tempted to break these rules.

I dont want to get even worse oneitis.

She leaves in a week time is not on my side im butt hurt she isnt spending her week with me as planned pre meeting but im not communicating that through message.

I wondered even if i should have said in my last message that if she isnt going to be forthcoming with me then cant expect me to either.

And if she does reach out im not meeting her and will say im hanging out with someone else

If i dont see her before she goes so be it her loss im not accommodating her than i already have done im not a tourist guide she has taken my kindness for weakness i prob should never have recommended her places to go while in town retrospectively

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I didn't communicate the butt hurt over message this is how im feeling outside.

1 min she is like when can i see you again

Then she is like sorry i cant today.

I should have left it there hut my time constraint is she leaves in a week.

Also i feel disrespected i took a day off to spend time with her and she just blew me off with a sorry.

She is meeting other guys off the app that is why she was vague about her plans and non commital

I have to be to the fact she hasnt followed up since i ignored her 'let's try this weekend?' Tells me she isnt interested anymore and nor should i be.

What confuses me is if we dont bring our A+ game how much leeway do you give women like this in regards to even potential long term situation even if she just comes back into my life?

Like the rules are there needs to be high interest from the start, red flag if there isnt, likewise if she is late red flag there also esp telling you an hour before hand she is running late if she had high interest then she wouldnt want to do anything to jeopardise losing you and the question is in general how much leeway is given when it is a stranger you never met + you didn't come with your A game?

Cos i will never trust her cos if i follow the rules on here about super IL from the start no hot cold, no flaking no non commitals or I'll let you know then she will forever be downgraded and i should avoid meeting her again to not be tempted to break these rules.

I dont want to get even worse oneitis.

She leaves in a week time is not on my side im butt hurt she isnt spending her week with me as planned pre meeting but im not communicating that through message.

I wondered even if i should have said in my last message that if she isnt going to be forthcoming with me then cant expect me to either.

And if she does reach out im not meeting her and will say im hanging out with someone else

If i dont see her before she goes so be it her loss im not accommodating her than i already have done im not a tourist guide she has taken my kindness for weakness i prob should never have recommended her places to go while in town retrospectively

Trust me with the way you are acting, communicating with her and likely your body language and congruency you are displaying when in her presence it's definitely not "her loss".

You are acting insecure, desperate, and option less which are all very unattractive traits

 

[Learning Curve]

I didn't communicate the butt hurt over message this is how im feeling outside.

1 min she is like when can i see you again

Then she is like sorry i cant today.

I should have left it there hut my time constraint is she leaves in a week.

Also i feel disrespected i took a day off to spend time with her and she just blew me off with a sorry.

She is meeting other guys off the app that is why she was vague about her plans and non commital

I have to be to the fact she hasnt followed up since i ignored her 'let's try this weekend?' Tells me she isnt interested anymore and nor should i be.

What confuses me is if we dont bring our A+ game how much leeway do you give women like this in regards to even potential long term situation even if she just comes back into my life?

Like the rules are there needs to be high interest from the start, red flag if there isnt, likewise if she is late red flag there also esp telling you an hour before hand she is running late if she had high interest then she wouldnt want to do anything to jeopardise losing you and the question is in general how much leeway is given when it is a stranger you never met + you didn't come with your A game?

Cos i will never trust her cos if i follow the rules on here about super IL from the start no hot cold, no flaking no non commitals or I'll let you know then she will forever be downgraded and i should avoid meeting her again to not be tempted to break these rules.

I dont want to get even worse oneitis.

She leaves in a week time is not on my side im butt hurt she isnt spending her week with me as planned pre meeting but im not communicating that through message.

I wondered even if i should have said in my last message that if she isnt going to be forthcoming with me then cant expect me to either.

And if she does reach out im not meeting her and will say im hanging out with someone else

If i dont see her before she goes so be it her loss im not accommodating her than i already have done im not a tourist guide she has taken my kindness for weakness i prob should never have recommended her places to go while in town retrospectively

I get it.

That's why from the begining you start by setting the correct boundaries and level of respect. If she did trully realized that you will evacuate once she tried the first time to cancel on you on your day-off that would have never happened again.

Because a simple "Sure, let's do it some other time" text would have implied that she will either: A. Counter-offer or B. Dissapear.

See, there is always an excuse for us guys as to why a woman lost interest. Because it makes us feel better. We don't want to embrace rejection or that we f3ucked up.

And you decided to ignore her. Because you believe that this is the correct course of action, yet she told you "let's try this weekend?" and you ignored her.

You take things too personally. You could simply set up a date and move on. Yes i get it, she canceled on you when you had your day-off. Well in that case, when you set the date, you decide the place, time, and day. Let her make it up for you.

But again life happens, people cancel, and people have other things to do. Even if she went out with another guy, or not, or if she decided she is bored, you should not care, or get emotional about it. Because she is not your GF. She is a ch1ck you are trying to establish a connection.

You take this way too far for no reason.

You have to undesrtand, Abundance is the number one key to success. That's it.

She cancels, you move on, she texts you for a new date you decide if you want to go or not. If she cancels multiple times, you set a boundary of respect and you exit.

 

[pete101]

I get it.

That's why from the begining you start by setting the correct boundaries and level of respect. If she did trully realized that you will evacuate once she tried the first time to cancel on you on your day-off that would have never happened again.

Because a simple "Sure, let's do it some other time" text would have implied that she will either: A. Counter-offer or B. Dissapear.

See, there is always an excuse for us guys as to why a woman lost interest. Because it makes us feel better. We don't want to embrace rejection or that we f3ucked up.

And you decided to ignore her. Because you believe that this is the correct course of action, yet she told you "let's try this weekend?" and you ignored her.

You take things too personally. You could simply set up a date and move on. Yes i get it, she canceled on you when you had your day-off. Well in that case, when you set the date, you decide the place, time, and day. Let her make it up for you.

But again life happens, people cancel, and people have other things to do. Even if she went out with another guy, or not, or if she decided she is bored, you should not care, or get emotional about it. Because she is not your GF. She is a ch1ck you are trying to establish a connection.

You take this way too far for no reason.

You have to undesrtand, Abundance is the number one key to success. That's it.

She cancels, you move on, she texts you for a new date you decide if you want to go or not. If she cancels multiple times, you set a boundary of respect and you exit.

From her telling me when can i see you again to the next day

I told her to pack a bag as i was getting us a hotel that night (sunday)

She said sorry i cant later in the evening

That is when i should have broke contact

But naively out of being butt hurt i countered with ok let's get together tomorrow then (my day off she knew this) she says i cant I'll let you know when im available

That is abundatantly clear ahe isnt interestes anymore for whatever reason

So me saying I'll prob be working then i took monday off specifically to spend time with you

I cant drop everytjing to accommdate you last minute

She is then im sorry

I said to her i appreciate you have plans with friends while here and cant spend all your time wth me even though you are here for a short while (this is BS she is just meeting other guys from the dating app she has pre set up and doesnt want to commit to any time)

I wanted to follow on by saying 'if you arent forthcoming with me then you cant expect the same from myself'

But shs responded with 'let's try this weekend?'

Before i had a chance to say it (whether i should or not is a diff matter)

So i left it, her let's try this weekend? After 2 rejections of meeting up back to back days it isnt on me to respond to a fake counter offer, if i did she would be like I'll let you know

She takes an eternity to get back to me so i have to accept she is treating me as an option and i vacate the situation even though i really want to tell her if she isnt forthcoming then she cant expect the same from me

 

[TheGambino]

I have been in similar situations, one happened some months back and what I did is I left her unread for since April. She acting cold and stuffs. One time she sent a text randomly after ignoring my message for months: "hey". I took my time and responded the following day she also her took responded whenever she wanted and I just deleted the chat and moved on.

It is best to walk away now than you get your emotions all invested. As you rightly stated she has low IL so why bother? If a girl truly wants you she will make things easier for you to get her and then probably along the line after she gets you she will put out some tests on you to find out if she made the choice.

Either ways don't worry so much because relationship that begins like this always end in drama that you don't want to deal with. As I said if she truly likes she will make things easier because she doesn't want do act in a way that will piss you off. They know what do so don't take a woman's actions lightly they are very much aware of them.

Also you might come of as a guy she wouldn't wanna date. Most times we blame women for not acting right whilst we forget it is our actions that makes them behave the way they do and sometimes it is better to cut your losses and understand that you f**ked up at the beginning and move on. If she comes back then you act right if she doesn't come back who cares. Just keep working on your game, life, and understanding the famine psyche and welcome more women into your life because that's how you get to understand why they behave the way do. If you are just meeting few women a year you will always end up in this situations.

Women always want the best thing hence if you are not her 10/10 she won't take you serious because she believes she can do better and she is just holding onto you for now. Since you met on dating app I am pretty sure other guys are making moves on her in her city and you are miles away. When it comes to relationships growth and security women can be very calculative, for us men once loyal always loyal no distance and circumstances will break our loyalty and women know this that's why the play the games that they do. All what you can do is to be indifferent: if you calls or text fine you will give her your attention and time if she doesn't you are living your life. If she doesn't take you serious don't take her serious. If you want something serious get someone who will take you serious; this doesn't mean you are getting back at her it means you know what you want and won't settle for something less than that and women like that assertiveness.

@alvinkels this is the most quality post I read in a long time. Nothing but the truth. Pin this

 

[alvinkels]

@alvinkels this is the most quality post I read in a long time. Nothing but the truth. Pin this

I have learned my lessons painfully