Not loving myself

[lonelyeditor]

Hello all,

Like the title of this thread says, I'm not in love with myself right now. I know the old cliche' How can you love others when you don't love yourself?
I'm 25 and I havent loved myself for 13 years now. That was the first time I saw a porno. Now I know that porn is something that everyone wil scoff at and say every guy has seen one and stuff like that, but I feel that with me, it gave me the idea that if any woman showed a little interest in me, then I can get laid like those guys. Just show up in te right place at right time and a blonde, bruntte and redhead would triple-team me.
Through the years though, I have been wrong as reality hit me hard because women actally wanted relationships and the guy had to actually go up and ask her for her number.
I know -- I'm a whiny wimp -- But I was misled.
I read the stories and tips on this site, but I cant do these things. I'm not a player and I don't have the confidence that everyone in the world (or everyone that posts here) has.
I tried to trace this and I can only think that I don't love myself. I'm a mess, but the weird part is that I like being this antisocial, non-laid, porno watching mess. And it must be because I don't even like myself.
I have to say that I do appreciate what you guys do, but in my world, even the most true Don Juan would suffer.
So I guess all in all, I'm just a loser tat only gets satisfaction watching winners screw women on film and just be a friend instead of telling a woman how I feel about them.
I mean it's gotten me through 25 good years, how about another good 25 more!!

 

[ApocalypseCow]

I think you need to set some realistic goals and then achieve them. Approaching women IS hard (I got shot down twice yesterday). But the rewards are immense.

Have you tried online dating? That's a good way to practice your game.

You "like being this antisocial, non-laid, porno watching mess" because feeling like a loser gives you an emotional response. And having an emotional response is better than not feeling anything at all. For once, try happiness. It's better.

 

[Digital Mastermind1]

lonelyeditor you really need to change your mentality about yourself . i think it no good for you because you are missing out on the best years of your life man.


once i also got to that point were i felt that i wouldnt be able to attract HB ( due to my weight problem) . anyway ive come to the conclusion thanks to this web site that some day i would have to make a change and that day is everyday of my life believe me i am know getting numbers from 7.5s and talking to 8s and 9s ( im working on them) . dude once you have one success youll want them more .



as to not loving yourself man dont put yourself down that is your problem right there . but it seems to me that you probably had a bad childhood or something or your parents were too religious , you are a grown man now leave those feelings in the dumpster and start fresh.


LATEZ!!! F LOVE, LOVE TO F...

 

[carbani]

I just don't get it. So please - tell me: what the fvck do you want? In one, short sentence. Why did you write this post?

Do you want help? Do you want pity? Do you want attention?

For me - it looks like you're one of those male attention wh0res. And yeah - I feel sad for you.

 

[lonelyeditor]

Carbani,

You wanted to know,so here I go ...
Since I have no true friends and no girlfriend or even a hooker or f---buddy to talk to, I try to air my loser problems to guys who have either been there before or winners like you, who have obiviously never failed with women since you hit puberty.
If I right about you, then I feel sorry for you because you have no idea of what true deep failure with women is like.

I hope that answers your question a little

 

[Ubermensch]

Biochemical issues?

Man, it looks like you have big-time biochemical imbalances going on in your head.

I used to be like that before I started to straighten out my biochemistry by improving my nutrition, avoiding allergic foods, etc. Turned me around almost 180 degrees.

My suggestion is to find a doctor in your area who has a "holistic" approach, and emphasizes nutrition. If you can find a "clinical ecologist" or one who deals with "environmental illness," you've hit the jackpot.

If your brain biochemistry is out of whack, no amount of good advice is likely to overcome it. Moods are driven by brain chemicals. Take care of first things first. Then come back here with a new handle!

 

[lonelyeditor]

Biochemistry?? That's pretty interesting!!
Along with that, maybe I need something else ... Maybe some P-ssy!!!!??? Yes, I said it
P-ssy, P-ssy, p-ssy!!!! Nothing more an nothing less.
I'm not saying that you're wrong but if can bang a broad, then maybe the frustrat can come out

 

[Digital Mastermind1]

you need ***** get a hooker man and get laid!!! . for gods sake stop being deppressed your getting me like that too!!


LATEZ!!! F LOVE , LOVE TO F...

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by lonelyeditor
Biochemistry?? That's pretty interesting!!
Along with that, maybe I need something else ... Maybe some P-ssy!!!!??? Yes, I said it
P-ssy, P-ssy, p-ssy!!!! Nothing more an nothing less.
I'm not saying that you're wrong but if can bang a broad, then maybe the frustrat can come out

I remember one time my friends and I were coming back from a bar when we were in college, and I was lamenting about how I couldn't get any chicks, and I said out loud to myself, "If only I was driving an expensive sports car like a Corvette...then I'd..." and my roommate cut me off and said, "then you'd WHAT?! What would you do?" Shut me up real quick.

So tell me, suppose tomorrow God just dropped a girl in your lap and you could bang her any time you wanted. What would you do? Would you feel so much better? Or would you still be stuck with the same fears, the same doubts, the same anger and frustration that you always have had?

So I guess all in all, I'm just a loser tat only gets satisfaction watching winners screw women on film and just be a friend instead of telling a woman how I feel about them.

As you think, so shall you become. Those rules that you laid down are all in your head...you can change them. Or you can lie there watching porno and refuse to improve yourself. It's up to you. You want the advice of someone who's been there? Wake the f*ck up.

As much as you want to believe it, this isn't about women or society, this is about YOU. You let the media and society tell you who you are. Why the heck are you listening to them? What can they tell you about you? Society and its rules and laments only exist because you will it.

Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead only try to realize the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Spoon boy: There is no spoon.
Neo: There is no spoon?
Spoon boy: Then you'll see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.

 

[lonelyeditor]

First off, there is a line and hookers are the line I draw on. And I'm sorry my depresion is contagious, digital, but I thoght you were above that with the biochemistry and all
Second, if a girl dropped into my lap, then I wouldn't be here moping around. I would be here bragging that I just found this girl who is willing all day and all night
Society and media didn't do anything for me. It's just the loneliness for me, but since you have friends, you'll never understand See, I'm just too much of a paradox. A man who mants sex and not the relationship. A man who wants companionship, yet is always alone. A man who welcomes advice from those who are 'sane' and calls it insane. No person, let alone women, have the time and patience to understand it. That's why I think I'm a loser, because paradoxes are hard to solve and no one has time to understand

 

[Halo]

You're only a loser if you continue in that mentality. Right now you are using it as an excuse to not take the risks required. I am your same age and was like that until not long ago. I finally decided I had not taken advantage of my late teens and early twenties in the way I could have done. At that time my mentality was such that I could never even visualize myself being smooth with women, so frankly I never even bothered making bold overtures. I was content to wait around for those girls bold enough to come onto me, and I think we all know how frequently that happens. I am still a recovering AFC, but already it is much better. The biggest change I have made? Attitude. I no longer think of myself as a loser guy who will never score with girls, because I know I have at least as much qualification as these toolboxes you see walking around with cute girlfriends. I now think of myself as someone any sane chick would want to date if she would only be lucky enough to get the chance. I'm telling you, adopting this attitude will manifest itself everywhere in your life, and they can sense it without you ever even opening your mouth. So for now, do some things that give you a sense of accomplishment. Working out, learning to play an instrument, etc. It's cliche but it's true - when you have a sense of accomplishment elsewhere in life it makes it much easier to adopt the attitude I mentioned above.