Not having success in bars and clubs? You're in good company

[GreatHornedOwl]

So it's a Friday night and you and your buddies decide to go out to the local hotspot and chase some skirts. I mean, the odds are in your favor right? Sexy women dressed provocatively, alcohol flowing, everyone's having a good time. So why do most guys go home to their hand? Regardless of what your connotations are, when you enter these establishments, you're on the women's turf. They skip lines, drink for free, and have hordes of well-dressed men salivating at the chance of getting in their knickers. An attractive woman's ego is already so high when she walks in it's going to be difficult to establish any kind of value to her. Unfortunately, that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Another obstacle you're going to inevitably be dealing with before the end of the night (if not right off the bat), are her girl and guy friends. Gone are the days when single attractive chicks went out by themselves. They're now out in full force with half of their Friends List from Facebook. Most of which, are guys trying to get into their pants as well. It's a microcosm of her social circle, and you have no value. You're the random horny guy hoping to get lucky, and she knows it. No amount of "negs" is going to fool her. Good luck on trying to bring her home when she's going to be heading to a different bar and meeting up with more guy friends.

Think I'm wrong? Think again. Look around in these bars and clubs. You'll notice all the girls are texting away with their phones. What do you think they're doing? They're not inquiring about how many minutes they have left, they're telling everybody they know where they are, and where they're going to be. Most already know from her Facebook page, which she uses for attention. In my experience, girls that go clubbing having upwards of 800+ on their list. So in addition to the other random guys you're competing with, you're going to be dealing with her guy friends that are already there, and the other ones that will be showing up shortly.

I've seen it from the other perspective too. Many times I've went out with a group of friends that included hot females that I knew from college, work, etc. Not once did they go home with some random dude who tried to pick them up. I mean, in my 4 years of clubbing I can't think of one single exception to this.

The only thing the majority of these girls care about is attention. A productive night for a girl is going home without paying for a drink and having some tool full of liquid courage ask for her number. They'll give him the right one too, just to see if he calls. Of course she won't answer, she just wanted the validation.

Going out during the weekend to these places hoping to bring a girl home is a recipe for failure.

Don't even get me started on "Ladies' Night".

 

[xdreamz]

True, picking up a girl at a club is not that easy but you don't have to make it seem like it's impossible and every girl is the same. You're trying too hard that's why. You don't have to open everybody you see and get dumped a billion times, that is a recipe for failure & disaster as well. It should be you open 1 and from there many opportunities will arise. As a matter of fact i remember i just went to the club stood at the same spot for a very long time and soon enough a girl comes by makes strong eye contact and smiles so I open her. Another time I'm just walking around minding my own business and next thing you know a girl opens me. And i'm not some super buff guy with a hollywood wardrobe either. Don't underestimate yourself and that girls are looking for guys too.

 

[Ease]

So true.

It's depressing to blend in as a commoner amonst horny guys.

Girls that are clearly fat ugly ****s can act supermodels.

 

[nismo-4]

If you're average/ ugly and only have trendy clothes, game, and personality and go in a bar/ club to meet a chick, it's not going to a casino and betting 10-30 bucks on a single number on a Roulette table. But it might as well be because there are so many other guys there just like your normal ass trying to do the same. They pay to get in and their buddies if applicable, they pay for drinks for themselves and sometimes other women, and sometimes food! The only thing you can really do is have fun, try to open a girl and see if she's receptive to your advances, and go from there. Most men in clubs are not model type, nor are they pulling up in Lamborghinis. Most men can just rely on luck for the most part, hence the casino reference.

Even women in their 50's and 60's are good at being attention wh0res! Yeah, they wanna have fun, by d**kteasing you better than the younger girls! They have a lot of facebook and twitter friends too! Sometimes they use these sites as an ego boost!

Women can have sex whenever they want to, and they know it, no matter how old they are. If a woman gets rejected, she has hundreds of men who want a shot at her, and she knows it. Most men don't have that luxury of hundreds of women waiting for them. Most men aren't rich, famous, or handsome, so they gotta just take what they can get and try a lot harder, as they are at a disadvantage.

@ xdreamz; Women are looking for guys, but for what reasons? Attention, drinks, free stuff is all that comes to mind.

Women in clubs are after attention mostly.

 

[Lexington]

The very fact that you are thinking about who she's texting, who she's with and how many friends she's got on Facebook means that you've already got the wrong attitude.

You're right, there are a lot of dudes to compete with. Girls have options. Yes, she is probably out with her male friends who really badly want to get into her pants. Yes, she's got an army of female friends with her too. But there is as a solution to all of this: the 3 second rule and the numbers game.

Your odds with each individual girl might not be great. But you just have to do a lot more approaches until you hit it off with one. You have to be relentless. The less you think the better. See a piece of ass you might want to tap? Walk right up to her and start talking to her. If it's obvious she's not biting, move on. For the night to be successful, you only have to click with ONE.

There are VERY few people on this planet who are that rich and/or famous. Ferrari sells 8,000 cars worldwide in a good year. Lamborghini sells even less. There are simply not enough very wealthy, super good looking guys to go around for all the girls. They're not all banging rock stars, models or business tycoons. Do you honestly believe that only the richest, best looking and most famous men get laid?

Swallow your pride. Do approaches. Make peace with getting rejected. Keep at it. Be relentless. Keep on working away until you succeed. There is no reason you can't do 20 approaches in a night. Statistically speaking, if you have any sort of decent game, you should be able to hit it off with at least one.

 

[kingsam]

So true.

It's depressing to blend in as a commoner amonst horny guys.

Girls that are clearly fat ugly ****s can act supermodels.

ease as a birt (or any other brits who read this), have you ever been to an Oceana club's - they are a chain of big clubs 2000+ capacity (except the southhampton one which is randomly tiny)

its now £10 just to get in (thats $15 US!)
a small bottle of stella beer is £4.30 ($6.4)
i orderd a double vodka dn redbull = £18.5 (the the red bull was "kick" which cozt 25pence from tesco) (nearly fVcking £30 US)

the music is awful, mostly RnB or Cheese - i hate cheese
most the girls are ****ing ugly a fVck and fat too - last time over half were "large"
and they are all stuck up!!!

-------------
my buddies ALWAYs go there - all you do it get drunk and waste lots of money and go home!!!
saying that most of those guys have been on 6 years worth of "lads" holidays - and NEVER got laid...! thats terribly bad

 

[Miles28]

Really good post by the OP. So very true in a majority of cases and yet..... I have to agree with Lexington too. If you play the numbers game then you're probably going to get some success.

It does piss me off a lot how women get massively preferential treatment in clubs, for example not having to pay to get in, having free drinks on certain nights or, the thing I'm starting to see a lot now, having 'Ladies seats' - i.e seats where some ***** can sit her fat ass down whereas the guys who are the ones spending all the money have to stand all night!! It's pathetic. The last time I went to a club with these seats some group of girls that were already sitting down complained to one of the club staff that my friend was sitting in a 'ladies seat' and so my friend got asked to move. You should have then seen these ****s flirting with the bar monkey that had done their evil bidding, it was disgusting.

I'm kind of ranting but the point I wanted to make is that generally clubs are full of skanks, ****s and attention *****s. But if you persist you'll still develop 1 or 2 promising leads each time you go, or maybe every other time.

Why the hell did we give women all this power?!!!

Miles

 

[Perfect]

No, it's possible. Bringing a girl home 1 on 1 is very difficult (I've done this once in my life, one of the most DJ things I've done lol), but her friends + your friends is very possible. Yall might not get the buns that night (depends on how well you game them and if they drink), but you'll have some set up for another day.

 

[HeyPachuco!]

ease as a birt (or any other brits who read this), have you ever been to an Oceana club's - they are a chain of big clubs 2000+ capacity (except the southhampton one which is randomly tiny)

its now £10 just to get in (thats $15 US!)
a small bottle of stella beer is £4.30 ($6.4)
i orderd a double vodka dn redbull = £18.5 (the the red bull was "kick" which cozt 25pence from tesco) (nearly fVcking £30 US)

the music is awful, mostly RnB or Cheese - i hate cheese
most the girls are ****ing ugly a fVck and fat too - last time over half were "large"
and they are all stuck up!!!

-------------
my buddies ALWAYs go there - all you do it get drunk and waste lots of money and go home!!!
saying that most of those guys have been on 6 years worth of "lads" holidays - and NEVER got laid...! thats terribly bad

I've been to Oceana, Faces, Buddha-type clubs (Kingston & Birmingham) usually on average every weekend. This thread fits well into what the scenario would be. First aof all the club policy stinks of shyt, Collared shirts (WHISKEY-TANGO-FOX!) to get in. When you do get in, most of the girls are validating themselfs by the hordes of desperate good looking guys.

Sam, thats why I go to lounges and bars in and around London to "Pick Up". There alot less ego draining and I have had SNL's from them, never from a club. Plus if I were to go to Oceana type clubs, would only be for the purpose of "Raving" or having a good time with the boys.

This thread speaks volumes. I will highlight the first part though:

So it's a Friday night and you and your buddies decide to go out to the local hotspot and chase some skirts.

Maybe here lies a small problem, if in 4 years you have not had success in clubs, doing the same thing, that could be considered INSANITY. Try having an abundance of "women" when you go out. AFC Adam advocates his friends to bring out a minimum of 10 girls for every mate he invites out with him, so he invites 10 friends or friends of friends, thats 50 different girls as orbiters for you're own liking (value)

To be honest, I'm intimidated by large groups of women and male friends, maybe I should apply this myself, to see what the results are.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Pedro1234NA#p/u/40/EEOFztpi5JY - Typical night, do you hear that Cheese? Lol
http://www.youtube.com/user/Pedro1234NA#p/u/39/vufPllR5UZ8 - I prefer stealth bombing "AFTER" the night, always a quick redeeming remedy.

 

[The Greek]

There's a lot of barriers to night club game, but you can definitely get dates and other things from it. Individual approach success% is probably lower than other forms of game, but like others stated above, numbers game.

 

[The Greek]

Also here's a tip. A lot of the posters here are UK based -- If you want to save money, go in around 8.30 to 9pm. MOST clubs are free entry then and the place will be a lot less crowded - good atmosphere to warm up in and make a few approaches before it gets frantic.

 

[JdelaSilviera]

Do what women do, go to clubs to enjoy yourself. I notice that when I´m laughing I suddenly get more stares. Try to laugh to your friends, show people you are happy and not some zombie trying to get laid.
I remember when me and a group of five friends, with no girls in our group, were dancing doing stuff like moonwalking and other weird dance moves. The group of the hot girls came to us. Club game is for mystery, and I don´t know if he is as good as he says.

You need a wide social circle, meet girls during the day,college, gym etc.. go to clubs with them where you´ll meet more girls, and things will become much easier. Almost every guy I know, now matter his game or looks, if he has a good social circle he gets pvssy... that simple..
No amount of game compensates the handicap of not having friends...

 

[kingsam]

I've been to Oceana, Faces, Buddha-type clubs (Kingston & Birmingham) i was infact talking about the the kingston one! funy that - there is another large club in kingston that is A LOT LOT better for girls - its got a bit of a rougth clientele thousually on average every weekend. This thread fits well into what the scenario would be. First aof all the club policy stinks of shyt, Collared shirts CHAVY (WHISKEY-TANGO-FOX!) to get in. When you do get in, most of the girls are validating themselfs by the hordes of desperate good looking guys.

Sam, thats why I go to lounges and bars in and around London to "Pick Up". There alot less ego draining and I have had SNL's from them, never from a club. Plus if I were to go to Oceana type clubs, would only be for the purpose of "Raving" you can't "rave" in oceana! only can grind some randon A W or having a good time with the boys.

i dont go much now as its a waste of time and money

 

[nismo-4]

Lexington, here's my input since I respect your posts.

The very fact that you are thinking about who she's texting, who she's with and how many friends she's got on Facebook means that you've already got the wrong attitude.

Bad boys don't give a f**k who she's texting or any of this other stuff. But most men know that they love doing this.

You're right, there are a lot of dudes to compete with. Girls have options. Yes, she is probably out with her male friends who really badly want to get into her pants. Yes, she's got an army of female friends with her too. But there is as a solution to all of this: the 3 second rule and the numbers game.

Truthful paragraph. Girls always have options, even if they're old, fat, or ugly. If a man is any of those, he probably doesn't have that many options.

Your odds with each individual girl might not be great. But you just have to do a lot more approaches until you hit it off with one. You have to be relentless. The less you think the better. See a piece of ass you might want to tap? Walk right up to her and start talking to her. If it's obvious she's not biting, move on. For the night to be successful, you only have to click with ONE.

The crazy thing is is that if one rejects you, she might go tell a lot of other women and you'll be f**ked for the remainder of the night. Seen it happen at parties and some clubs in Atlanta. This is why some men will bring a wingwoman as opposed to a wingman because some wingmen can do so bad and clip you out of the sky or do so good you're left hanging.

There are VERY few people on this planet who are that rich and/or famous. Ferrari sells 8,000 cars worldwide in a good year. Lamborghini sells even less. There are simply not enough very wealthy, super good looking guys to go around for all the girls. They're not all banging rock stars, models or business tycoons. Do you honestly believe that only the richest, best looking and most famous men get laid?

Lambo and Rolls-Royce does on average 1200 a year. Bugatti does under 500 in a year! But the richest, best looking and most famous men get laid the most. To say that they are the only men who get laid is incorrect.

Swallow your pride. Do approaches. Make peace with getting rejected. Keep at it. Be relentless. Keep on working away until you succeed. There is no reason you can't do 20 approaches in a night. Statistically speaking, if you have any sort of decent game, you should be able to hit it off with at least one.

Back to my casino reference, if you don't place a bet, you have no chance of winning or scoring big.

Read bet- You know what to do.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

You seem like a smart guy and good job at expressing yourself thoughtfully.

BUT, don't act like a whiny b*tch.

YES clubs/bars are female-centered, YES most of these broads are attention wh*res that rejoice in getting attention and shutting down guys, YES lots of these broads are surrounded by douchebag guy friends (which BTW I am happy to call them out to their face those p*ssies), YES most of these broads will reject you or ignore you while trying to talk to them.

BUT that's the fun in it! There are obstacles you need to overcome but a real man goes out there and gets the job done.

It's called developing GAME and that's why you're here. Don't act like a smartass making cute comments about neg hits not working. Of course no tactic is just going to make a girl fall to her knees for you! You need to step it up and start applying different methods, approaches, strategies, etc!

Just the other night I was out at a bar/club and got three numbers for this week (already set up the dates), made out with TWO different hotties one asian and one brunette. Step it up!

You need to accept the fact that yes you might be a smart dude but noone really gives a f*ck. You're not entitled to any of these girls giving you the time of day. Who gives a f*ck what they're texting or how many friends they have on facebook?!?! I couldn't care less! And that's how YOU need to think!

Who cares if they have friends around them? BLAST through their friends and learn how to ENGAGE the group using game! Get rid of the ****block guys (they're P*SSIES anyway!).

Rather than spending time contemplating all the various reasons that bars/clubs are no good, spend time working on your game. Just because you aren't going out to bars/clubs and scoring doesn't mean noone else is. You're right, MOST guys have no game and go to bed along but not everyone! The forbidden fruit is the sweetest! Begin telling yourself that you are the BEST. IF someone else is able to go out and get broads at bars/clubs and have a great time, then YOU can too! But you HAVE to have the right attitude or you're going to be constructing roadblocks that will continue to hold you back and make you frustrated!



Learn how to be the exception, and you will begin to see that all of those obstacles you mentioned are GOOD because they weed out MOST guys who don't have game!

 

[synergy1]

The crazy thing is is that if one rejects you, she might go tell a lot of other women and you'll be f**ked for the remainder of the night. Seen it happen at parties and some clubs in Atlanta. This is why some men will bring a wingwoman as opposed to a wingman because some wingmen can do so bad and clip you out of the sky or do so good you're left hanging.

this is one way to look at it, but playing the numbers game never really hurt me. I wasn't a complete drunken chode during my approaches, so If I wasn't feeling things, I would simply say 'it was nice meeting all of you' and leave. In cities, there are so many separate groups of girls, its not like they are all going to conspire to mingle and talk about the one dude who went up to all of them. I have never seen anything like it and on some nights approached 20+.

(sad to say I don't do that anymore.)

 

[Lexington]

Bad boys don't give a f**k who she's texting or any of this other stuff. But most men know that they love doing this.

You shouldn't give a fvck either. Girls just love to waste minutes talking on the phone. A lot of them feel the need to update their friends of every single mundane detail of their day to day lives.

The crazy thing is is that if one rejects you, she might go tell a lot of other women and you'll be f**ked for the remainder of the night. Seen it happen at parties and some clubs in Atlanta. This is why some men will bring a wingwoman as opposed to a wingman because some wingmen can do so bad and clip you out of the sky or do so good you're left hanging.

Nismo, I respect most of what you say, but this sounds like an AFC's worst case scenario here. If you're in a bar and you get shot down by a girl, it's highly unlikely that she's going to tell every single chick there. Now she might tell her friends, but so what? There's a whole bunch of other chicks to mack on. Hell, even if she goes and tells the whole bar (very unlikely), just walk over to the next one.

Girls are used to getting hit on. It's not like they don't like it. As long as you're not creepy in your approach, it's unlikely that they're going to try and sabotage you. Usually a girl "rejects" you by walking away and talking to someone else. Unless you've done something to seriously offend them, it's doubtful that you've ruined your chances with other girls who are not her friends.

Also, I'm not a big fan of the whole wingman thing. Now, I go out with my buds, but I don't expect their help in running my game on women and they don't expect mine. In fact it's always good fun to rip on each other after one of us bombs an approach real bad. It reminds you not to take this sh*t so seriously.

Lambo and Rolls-Royce does on average 1200 a year. Bugatti does under 500 in a year!

The bottom line is that there is only a tiny percentage of people in the world that can actually afford these kinds of cars.

But the richest, best looking and most famous men get laid the most. To say that they are the only men who get laid is incorrect.

This is true. These guys will get more than their fair share of pvssy. But you also have to take into account that there is a certain percentage of butt ugly/flat broke/socially inept men who get no women. That means there are still plenty of good looking women to go around for those of us who are not on either extreme.

Back to my casino reference, if you don't place a bet, you have no chance of winning or scoring big.

Agreed. But one big difference is that you have nothing to lose by doing an approach. What else are you going to do? Sit there and nurse your beer? Gawk at all the hotties? Hang out in the corner and bullsh*t with your buddies? If you want to do that, you can just stay home and get yourselves a few 24 packs.

 

[GreatHornedOwl]

Nowhere in my post did I say I've never pulled in clubs. I said I've been with female friends and they never obliged to the random guy trying to bring them home. I've certainly had my fair share of hookups. You just don't have homefield advantage when you step into these places. Many times I've seen a guy walk up to the bar -- who was there first -- only to be put on the backburner as the bar keep serves 5, sometimes 10 women while the guy stands there indignantly before getting his drink. I'm not a fan of catering to this feminine agenda. That's why most of the time I take my patronage elsewhere, unless I know the staff. Nonetheless, interesting feedback.

It should also be noted I'm an advocate of day game. Another thing I don't think most guys realize is how expensive bar/club hopping is. Overpriced drinks, often times a cover fee, awkwardness from women expecting a drink, tipping the bartender, etc. I actually kept track for a while on how much I was spending, and it was ridiculous. $6 for vodka tonics, $4.25 for beers. At the time you don't even think about it, but it adds up quickly as the night progresses. Especially if you're with buddies and everyone's tanked up. Keep in mind you can get almost a half gallon bottle of vodka for $12 in a liquor store. Most guys spend that in a bar before they've even had a chance to scope the place out. These places take advantage of guys who depend on alcohol to lower their inhibitions, while ruining it for guys who are out looking for a good time. All of this hoopla is an unnecessary risk to my wallet, and watch.

That being said, I've basically taken night game and modified it into a form of night game with a twist through trial and error.

I avoid weekends at all costs. Ladies Night is probably the worst of all. Monday through Wednesday is ideal. Much less competition, while a decent amount of hotties with nothing to do at the beginning of the week come out and are more receptive to my advances. I don't buy the girl, or myself drinks. I chat up a casual conversation that lasts for a minute or so, get the number, and jet off to a different bar in close proximity. I'll throw a text out 30 minutes later saying "Hey, I'm next door at so-and-so, come on over sexy." This is where I call her bluff. If she doesn't respond or show up, I delete the number immediately and repeat the process at the bar I'm currently at with a different girl. If a girl leaves the bar you met her at to meet up with you at a different one, that says a lot about her interest level, and you're well on your way to taking her home. The key here is to keep the conversation short. Many guys think they need to sit there and ramble on. You're only going to hurt your chances. Small talk -- when done effectively -- is a player's best friend. Keep your intrigue up, and get her over to the bar you're at.

I know I have a little more leeway with a girl after this because a few things have happened here:

1.) I got her number
2.) She responded to my provocative text
3.) She met me at a different location

These are the 3 ingredients I'm looking for. By doing this, I'm siphoning out most of the flakes from the girls who want to bang. At this point most of the hard work is behind me. I quickly turn the conversation sexual and tell her there's drinks at my place. This is part of the reason I don't drink when I'm at the bars looking for women. When I'm driving her back to my place the last thing I need is a DUI. This eliminates that possibility. I'm certainly not wasting my money unnecessarily on a cab when I can stay sober and drive myself. We get back to my place, that's when I bring the booze out.

I go out early on these nights. 7 p.m. at the latest so I have plenty of time to work my hustle.

It's an aggressive, no-nonsense angle. My success rate is around 30%

Like I said, I usually run day game... but if I'm bored it's an effective alternative.

 

[WORKEROUTER]

Yeah it depends what your scene is I personally can't stand clubs largely because I just don't like dancing. My places are bars that are crowded enough to have attracted women but not too loud that you can't even sit down somewhere.

All you gota do is find a couple attractive women, suggest they join you, develop the conversation, and proceed forward. You can do this with a wingman or solo.

 

[rakishness]

Your going to the wrong clubs. You need to go the clubs with the out of town chicks or just sleezy ones in general. Everyone knows girls on vacation are easier to take home that night.