Not going hard enough?

[Von_S]

Went on a second date with a chick; cute, smart, interesting job (can't stand biimbos) things been pretty casual, not really much touching or heavy flirting. I'm kinda geeky, she's kinda geeky, not sure if she's shy or guarded. I feel I'm being pretty confident and DJ, but I'm not being too agressive with the kino and sexy talk. Part of me think's she's DTF but might be a bit of a puzzle I have to figure out. At the end of the date tonight we walked back to her place and I started kinda chatting about when we'd hang out again, her door is right there she could have asked me in, or I guess I could have asked. We hugged and I went home. Am I not being forceful enough for this one? Usually I throw around a few innuendoes and see if they bite, but she plays it pretty straight. I don't want to "next" her too fast, I like quality in my women, enjoy them on multiple levels; so a smart, stable one who's a freak when the lights go out is worth the extra effort for me.

 

[TheTraveller]

Get a drink or two in, start the sexy talk and see where it goes. If she's game, then green light and proceed without any second guessing yourself. Be the first one to cut through the tension. I've struggled with this but, given the right girl, I have no problems after a drink.

So, my point is, start well before ending up back at her/your place and then it's a very natural transition to continuing inside. If you don't start beforehand, it'll be a bigger challenge and greater likelihood of not getting what you want.

BTW, I like quality as well, but during the first few dates all I'm thinking about are the following:
- is she hot?
- is she DFT?

The rest is not nearly as important. File it away esp. if it's a flag, but try not to think too much right away.

 

[Warrior74]

"the extra effort?" How about its always the same effort. The extra effort is when you try, she shuts you down and you keep trying. that's the meaning of extra. Pedestalization creep. Watch it. I already see you building her up in your head as more than any other chic just because she has qualities you like. This is how it starts.

 

[Tazman]

I would have went in for a kiss at the end of date 2. You don't have to wait for any "perfect" moment, just do it and see how she reacts. Don't be afraid to flirt or be sexual, it's expected of you. The longer you wait the less desirable you become.

Like Warrior said, if you idealize her you're going to flounder and overanalyze like it seems you're doing already.

 

[Aaron B]

you need a pretense with which to enter her apartment

she has to be able to tell a believable story to her friends later about how she's not slutty because the sex "just happened"

 

[jtlancer]

Ask to use the bathroom

This is why the 'ask to use the bathroom' question exists.

 

[gaspipe]

you need a pretense with which to enter her apartment

she has to be able to tell a believable story to her friends later about how she's not slutty because the sex "just happened"

Yes, a pretext is always important as not to make her feel slutty. Even the sluttiest chicks will find an excuse for you to come in or vice versa.

I remember one time I was coming out of a club with a really hot chick and she asked if she could come to my house to get a drink of water. As stupid as it sounded, I played along and within 5 seconds of entering we were screwing like pornstars. Yea she probably told her friends the "sex just happened" and that she had no control.

 

[Von_S]

Ancient history

You guys revived this old thread, I NEXT'd this chick like 2 weeks ago. Don't worry though, I replaced her with 2 others that are DTF. :rockon:

 

[window]

You should have kissed her at the door. All you questions would have been answered...It sounded like you liked her ? So what happened after the second date ?

 

[Jitterbug]

Here's a tip for future dealings with geeky girls: they secretly love to be treated like bimbos.