Not getting anywhere

[TheMachoMan]

Same problem as usual. I don't get anywhere.
I went clubbing again the other day. I was approached by 5 girls in one night, I think that's a new record for me. Anyway I couldn't get them anywhere. Their IL seemed so high, asking me a lot of questions, giving me the hungry eyes and so. I just can't take it to the next level.

I guess I must be doing something right, because I actually feel that many girls are interested initially. I don't have much experience, so I don't know how to take it further. Most of the time I give up because I feel that I'm so bad at talking to / dancing with them. Usually they give me a disappointed look and then ignore me for the rest of the night. Could you point me to some good posts or give me some good advice on how to improve? I've read the bible over and over again already...

How do handle people that "by accident" pour their beer all over you? I managed to resist getting into a fight, but I was shaking afterwards because of adrenaline.

 

[Mizer]

Macho, If you initially hold their interest, that is a good sign! You have read the DJ Bible over and over. That is a good sign!

Nothing else but two things may be able to help you advance from this point on.

1.Practice, Practice, Practice. Repitition is the key. The more women you approach, the better your conversation, style, and game becomes. If you only approach women in the club setting, you are not being repetitive enough unless you are clubbing it every single night and that would be worse than never getting out at all.

2. Body Build/weight train. If you are not already doing this, start ASAP. Do not put it off for your New Year's resolution. Start now!

Many people wonder how to develop confidence or how to fake it to they have it....with working out, you don't have to fake it; it seems to come natural. You feel a hell of lot better about yourself and you think a lot better of yourself. Don't just work your biceps and shoulders. Get into a full body work-out . Good Luck, man!


Mizer

 

[davelmn2003]

I'm a skinny guy. Would working-out help me? I need to gain some pounds first, not to cut them...

Eating doesn't seem to help that much either.... My skinny physique really affects my confidence... I mean I don't even like to wear short-sleeves because they make me look even more skinny!

 

[Monkey]

Originally posted by davelmn2003
I'm a skinny guy. Would working-out help me? I need to gain some pounds first, not to cut them...

Eating doesn't seem to help that much either.... My skinny physique really affects my confidence... I mean I don't even like to wear short-sleeves because they make me look even more skinny!

Yes working out will help you a great deal. You'll feel better about yourself and ultimately women want to feel 'protected' by a strong guy. Its all in the genes and goes back to the first time men and women walked about on this earth.

I'm the type of guy that can eat and eat and not put on much weight so the only solution is to eat even more. Lately I've been realising that I need to be eating another 30%+ more food a day to get the gains I want, its not easy!

Check out the health forum for some good info.

 

[stormwriter]

Hey MachoMan,

Can you pinpoint how and when and why you are are turning them off? Is it the things you are saying? The way you are saying it? That's good news if you feel that initially they are interested in you, but the bad news is that their interest dwindles after talking to you.
If i were you, i would be REALLY analytical of yourself afterwards and trying and figure out what went wrong. Cause if it keeps happening over and over again, then its probably a problem. Maybe you can nip it in the bud just by forcing yourself to stop doing whatever you are doing.

Wait a sec: "I was approached by 5 girls in one night, I think that's a new record for me. "

They approached you? Hell, if that's the case, that is GREAT news! Chicks don't usually approach guys. I think if you can be a better conversationalist you will go far, cause you seem to have some physical things going for you already.

Keep improving your game, dude!

 

[TheMachoMan]

Thank you for all the encouraging answers, this forum is great!

Can you pinpoint how and when and why you are are turning them off? Is it the things you are saying? The way you are saying it? That's good news if you feel that initially they are interested in you, but the bad news is that their interest dwindles after talking to you.

I was first going to write that I think it's both what I say and how I say it. But when I thought about it a little more I came up with something else. When I don't have a girl around I probably seem relaxed and interesting (I do get approached). But I think that I make a nervous and unattractive impression after the opening lines. I think my problem is mainly body language and the way I say things. I think they can see that I'm not as confident as I first may seem. I don't know how to change this, because I really do get a lot of practice, but I keep blowing it!

They approached you? Hell, if that's the case, that is GREAT news! Chicks don't usually approach guys.

Hehe, well I had some pretty hot girl friends with me as social proof, I think that helped a little!

2. Body Build/weight train. If you are not already doing this, start ASAP. Do not put it off for your New Year's resolution. Start now!

I'm skinny but I started working out by myself two months ago. I've noticed a big difference and so have my friends. Is it enough or should I go to a gym?

 

[vectorz]

Originally posted by TheMachoMan
Same problem as usual. I don't get anywhere...

Do you feel sometimes that you're possibly imposing on the situation if you take the lead and assume that she likes you? Do you have thoughts such as "What if I take the lead and become aggressive and she doesn't like it?" or "she probably just wants to be friendly or just talk" or "she's probably been hit on all night blah blah". Basically do you feel bad or guilty about possibly taking the lead and being more aggressive? I've had the same issue as you before, and so I wonder if you relate to these questions I'm asking, before I open up w/ a possible solution.

 

[TheMachoMan]

Originally posted by vectorz
Do you have thoughts such as "What if I take the lead and become aggressive and she doesn't like it?" or "she probably just wants to be friendly or just talk" or "she's probably been hit on all night blah blah". Basically do you feel bad or guilty about possibly taking the lead and being more aggressive?

Hmmm I used to. But then I realized that I wouldn't get anywhere if I didn't become aggressive. Now I get thoughts like "she seems to think that I just want to be friendly or just talk". Maybe my mind is just creating another problem for me to stop feeling guilty about not being more aggressive, if you know what I mean. I'd be very interested in a solution!

 

[vectorz]

Originally posted by TheMachoMan
Now I get thoughts like "she seems to think that I just want to be friendly or just talk". Maybe my mind is just creating another problem for me to stop feeling guilty about not being more aggressive, if you know what I mean. I'd be very interested in a solution!

Ya, I believe you've answered your own problem. It's all those damned 'voices' in your head that inhibit you from being 'yourself' and acting the way you WANT to act. INHIBITIONS suck.