Advice from the old lady:
There is such a thing as too much alpha, aka ass hole behavior. I agree 100% with
@Atom Smasher on this. It all stems from mindset. A man with value isn’t worried about his impressions by confirming. He’s more concerned about the value of his own time.
The man I’ve been dating confirms. He always has. It’s simple. He’ll say simply “ETA 7pm” or he’ll say “See you at 6:30”. Something very simple. He assumes I plan to see him because he knows he’s sought after and unwilling to waste HIS time. Typically he picks me up at mine too, which is a bit of a drive for him, so no way he’s headed over if I’m not planning to go.
At times his confirmation is simply “Leaving now” or “On my way”. I know how long it takes for him to make the drive...and I’ll always acknowledge his text. However I typically don’t confirm with him. I assume he’s a man, he made a date and he plans to show up. It’s been that way since we met more than 18 months ago.
Some women (myself included) do not chase after men. Some women respond rather than initiate. I’m one of those. I expect a man to make a move, make a decision, make a plan and follow through. That’s what masculine men do. There is nothing beta about that. I will be warm, receptive, encouraging and responsive every step along the way. If we have text banter I’m going to respond...if he goes radio silent I’m going to let him restart the convo., and I’ll respond. I’m observing his interest level as well as his leadership through his actions. And I will positively reinforce his assertiveness through my receptiveness which creates a positive feedback loop and also retains some sexual tension or erotic energy in the interaction. All good things.
I’ve always found it a sign of insecurity in a man to expect women to initiate and chase. That isn’t the natural feminine role. The man starts the interaction cascade because that’s what the man wants. The man sends a simple confirmation because HIS time has value. The man texts between or before dates because HE wants to. It’s not from a place of uncertainty but rather from a place of certainty.
If the woman isn’t responsive she disqualifies herself. Simple. This is what Atom Smasher is saying. Too many guys here put up with low interest level because they put up with one word responses, maybe responses, mixed signals, etc.
I may expect a man to show me his leadership...but you can bet your ass I’m going to respond timely and warmly. I’m going to respond in a way that shows I am interested. He’s not going to wonder.
Confirming a date is a perfectly masculine thing to do for your own self respect. Time is the most valuable thing any of us have.
Expecting the woman to lead in this way undercuts a man’s leadership and erodes his value. Be a man. Lead. That includes initiating & confirming in my view.
