not addressed in DJBIBLE - quick closes

[blinkwatt]

(example from today, at border's books, i approached a really nice looking brunette wearing high platforms and a very short skirt... went right up to her [first time i actually literally obeyed the 3 second rule] and said hi. she seemed utterly confused about what was happening. haltingly, she said hi back. not the best but because of 3 sec rule, i had nothing prepared, i asked her if she came here often... again, shocked silence and then... "no".... at that point, she wasn't into it or responding to me so i smiled and said, "ummm, i'm going to leave you alone..." and i walked away.)

Oh well live and learn,her loss. You have a set on you for approaching like that. I would suggest that you wait for eye contact and then do the 3 second rule.

 

[Delta]

hey guys,

thanks for the advice and tips! seriously appreciated.

FightinTiger,

sorry, didn't mean to ignore the content of your first post and just go on with my own thoughts... oddly, i actually didn't see it at all until after i posted with my follow up message. weird - but the refresh on this forum seems to be somewhat slow.

anyhoo, EXACTLY - i want canned lines not so much for the sake of knowing and using them but so i can BREAK IT DOWN to see what a working close looks like! the racehorse analogy is damn apt... that's why i think that a lot of the teachers are not the "naturals"... they're reformed geeks who came by their expertise with blood, sweat, tears and THOUGHT.... the naturals first probably have no sympathy to begin with and as you said, they haven't actually thought about it... they've just done it!

and they're probably so marinated in what the right stuff looks and sounds like that they can't even conceive of the notion that there are those out there who have absolutely no idea what these things are supposed to look and sound like.

nice - height is indeed a great asset. at 5'8", any girl that i could make fun of her height is probably extremely self conscious about it... i would be the only pua in sight that leaves their mark in tears in two minutes or less.... ha... i think i just may have invented the weeping close. or i guess i could pick on the taller girls and volunteer to climb them like a tree.

EWH,

"live in the moment and the now" - actually, that was the part i was initially practicing. my theory was: eyecontact - get redlight/greenlight, if greenlight go to initiating "any incidental interaction (tm) " and i think i can negotiate that pretty well but i felt maybe i wasn't being agressive enough in going for a close. i guess my eagerness to get a quick close is that the conversation is like TORTURE when i know that there is a close to perform further down the line... i "JUST WANT TO GET IT OVER WITH" ( hahaha... i know, not a good thing for her to be vibing off me huh?). but the PINGING (incidental interaction), i'm beginning to think i can handle pretty well.

EXAMPLE: i actually had to get some BURTS BEES LIP BALM and border's books has a little display counter for that. there was an attractive brunette there too and she tried on some lotion from the sample bottle. i approached, grabbed a tube of lip balm and read. i asked her if she was familiar with the product line. she said she wasn't but "it looks good doesn't it?". i noticed she had an accent and asked if it was british. she said no, australia. i said, oh, so have you moved here or are you visiting? she said visiting but she was born here. i said, oh, that's interesting. her little sister (or something) came bounding up. so i parted with, hope you have a nice visit.... no worse for wear and with my tube of lip balm. didn't try a number close cuz the kid and the fact that she was visiting threw me off....

AOF,

i guess my deep down belief is that THEY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE... they don't appreciate that i'm violating their personal space and whatever conversation i have begun, they are wishing that it be over as soon as possible.

i guess that this CERTAINLY CAN HAPPEN.... heck, i'm not convinced yet that this isn't what happens MOST OF THE TIME in non-bar/club situations... but it's not necessarily so and i can find out if i pay attention to her responses....

i think that's the most important thing that i and many find difficult to do while we're drowning under our calculations/thoughts/fears/rehearsed behaviors - ACTUALLY OBSERVING HER REACTION!

big principle: look out - not in. pay attention.

bw,

hmmmm... i think this was something i hoped was legitimate. it allows me to get in/get out while accosting passing strangers. i've read a few of krassus(?) posts and it does seem to be refreshing in its openness and honesty. in any case, where circumstance necessitates a <1min close, stuff like this might be the only option.

thanks for the encouragement too. as for eye contact, either it's ME or it's los angeles but girls really try not to make eye contact! haha, also another thought that ran through me head when i read your advice was - but if they don't give me good eye contact or look at me disapprovingly, then i won't get to approach... hahaha... this is the thing that i've advised against many times - we don't go in "hellorhighwater"... always pay attention to how she's responding and whether you are in eyecontact phase or conversation, you don't always escalate to next level. you don't always get to go to convo and you don't always get to execute a close. at an IODisinterest, you bail.

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also noticed that the thing that keeps me from opening sometimes is not necessarily FEAR but the fact that i didn't get to check her out thoroughly enough with brief glimpses to get a good idea of whether i even want to approach....

although maybe i'm too picky now and should swing at everything?

also noticed with a girl that i wasn't too keen on that she might have been interested in an approach and maybe she was "hovering"... does that happen?

thanks again guys.

delta

 

[rocky_mtn]

i guess my deep down belief is that THEY WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE... they don't appreciate that i'm violating their personal space and whatever conversation i have begun, they are wishing that it be over as soon as possible.

I used to be shy and think this, but it's wrong.

People, especially women, are social creatures and like to talk, meet new people and share their feelings, have guys smile at them and make them feel good.

 

[Ace of Flames]

Most people on this earth are sitting at home, wishing they had someone to talk to or hang out with. EVERYONE wants to know people and have friends. I don't know where you got this belief or why you stick with it when it doesn't help you, but its wrong. In actuality, it would make a woman's day for a great guy to walk up to her and introduce himself.

It works the same for us. Wouldn't you love it if you were just minding your own business, and an attractive girl came up to you and introduced herself? Even better if she expressed interest in you and asked for your number, or a date right then and there. Think about it, and get rid of that crappy belief of yours.

 

[everywomanshero]

hey, something else that might be worth trying is to get a MIC and go into group voice chats.

For me they are always too slow and confusing, but if someone knows a good one that might be one way guys can practice convo skills late at night, when their gf runs to walmart, etc. The only reservation I have is if this got in the way of face-to-face interactions which should be the goal.

Even better when you're really really tired and in the ****tiest possible state call a date line or voice chat and practice coming out of it. The date lines near me charge guys, anyone know a free one? It's pretty funny actually. As of late, I've been testing theories almost always on campus since I am there 3x a week anyway.

Convos skills are one of the most important thing, even once you PU a girl and she becomes your gf, you will still need to be a good conversationalist at friend's parties, weddings, social events...... or she will see she made a poor choice at some point. I've seen quite a few guys who are descent enough PU artist that go to these types of events in poor state and lose face over it. I've even been guilty of it myself after having seen other guys go through it. Especially because you become known as a cool social guy chicks get really confused. They think you just don't want to make them look good infront of their friends.

 

[rocky_mtn]

Fvck online chat or dial-a-date lines, there are hundreds if not thousands of single women who go out every day and wish that a guy would come up and talk to them. You don't have to pay for sh!t, and when you meet them you know they are real.

If anything, go to your bookstore to the self improvement section and get a book on converstion skills.


Then grab your nuts and go out and talk to women. :rock:

 

[Luke Skywalker]

I'm not speaking for c_m_d, but Lukes advice isn't backed with experience, when someone gets cold approaches and number closes down, then give advice about how to get #s, not repeating what you have read somewhere else.

Yes it is. Read my thread here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=105440

Desinova challenged me another thread - which I'll show here later, to do contact-closes with anyone to overcome fear of rejection. You can read the account of how I got my contact-closes there.

What I am saying is backed by experience. I went up to a girl, and said, my name is xyz, what's your name. She told me, asked her where she was from, I told her where I was from. And ASKED FOR HER NUMBER and wrote it on the back of a business card, which I have here.


SHE GAVE ME THE RIGHT NUMBER. WE TALKED YESTERDAY.

QUICK-CLOSED IN LESS THAN 10 SECOND FOR CONTACT-INFO.

I went up to an attractive girl, who was beside a female friend -- an obsticle, and I didn't care, I just did it -- because I was so frustrated by a week of prior failure of nerve to contact-close that I just psyched myself up and said, I dont care, I'm just going to do it today.

Delta - when you come to that position, that you are frustrated, and you dont care, you say who cares if she rejects my number, or rejects going out with me, you just do what you have to do. You are sincere, you are to the point, and you are not BSing -- that's direct approach.

Going straight for a contact-close puts focus, if you talk to her, and it goes boring or feels pressure she can always excuse herself and you end up with nothing. You can always talk to her after the contact-close. So, you want a QUICK-CLOSE and skip the fluff BS - then do it.

I tell you Delta, it is a rush to go up to an attractive girl and number close her, and just do it and dont worry about it - just psych yourself up. Say, today, I'm going to wake up, and I dont care, I'm going to get a contact-close from some hb, I dont know who, but darn it, I'm going to get it, who cares what she thinks, who cares what she says. Carry paper and a pen with you all the time.

Two things that will do it fast --- you are firm that you like the girl - you waver pass it.
THAT'S THE ONLY TIME YOU NEED TO TALK WITH HER. YOU DONT KNOW HER WELL ENOUGH TO FEEL COMFORTABLE TO ASK FOR HER NUMBER.

WHAT QUALIFIES HER TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU? So, that's where the convo somes in. You are not to impress her, you are to answer that question with the convo, let her qualify herself to you. But, if you think she's attractive and dont care, or know enough about her to feel connected - by all means CLOSE HER.

Personally, I would not contact-close a witch, so at least I'd like to know what the girl would believe in spiritually before dating her. But the best thing about offline sarging, is YOU know when you have chemistry, YOU know if there is a genuine connection - and you just close as soon as you know that.

You have a psyched up mind that you are going to do it somewhere today. And just do it.

Let us know about your quick-closes. You are inspiring me man, or I'm inspiring myself, whatever. I may start re-doing quick contact closes again. Next time I see a cashier that I LIKE, I'm going to give her a pen, and my business card, and tell her to write her contact-down because I like her. Worst thing, she writes nothing, I get the stuff back, but hey, it's like bungee jumping psychologically, what a rush.

Let me explain -- you know a ROLLER-COASTER RIDE's WORST PART -- is that PART JUST BEFORE IT GOES DOWN. When it goes down, it's only for 30 seconds but it's over. That's like the contact-close. When you take a rejection-risk, or when you approach someone, you are on the top of the roller-coaster --- just let it fall. I'm KJing here to suggest going to an Amusement Park or go on some rides to get this stuff etched in your mind - but just to illustrate an analogy. Whether you get the number or not - you'll have fun, I guarantee it, because you are beating a fear.

 

[Dayum itz jee]

I'm usually wid my boys and yea im a real busy person.. i walk ****y and all that **** ... so the quickest close i have is:

Me: Hey whats your name?
Her: <insert name>
Me: I'm <insert name>, I'm in a hurry right now but i would like to talk to you again gimme a number i could reach you at.
Her: <insert number>
Me: <Insert CF comment>, Bye *Leaves

 

[rocky_mtn]

Yes it is. Read my thread here:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=105440

Desinova challenged me another thread - which I'll show here later, to do contact-closes with anyone to overcome fear of rejection. You can read the account of how I got my contact-closes there.

What I am saying is backed by experience.

My bad Luke, I was referring to experience with success. Your link is a self described Fvck Up Report.
Nothing you read will tell you what works with women compared to seeing what really works with women. And finding what doesn't work is only good once you find out what does works.

my FR: I just got back from a movie with a woman I met at the outdoor salsa bar. this afternoon :rock:

 

[Luke Skywalker]

My bad Luke, I was referring to experience with success. Your link is a self described Fvck Up Report.
Nothing you read will tell you what works with women compared to seeing what really works with women. And finding what doesn't work is only good once you find out what does works.

my FR: I just got back from a movie with a woman I met at the outdoor salsa bar. this afternoon :rock:

That FUR thread is dead because I got a contact-close. The last post was a success. Success comes after many failures. Failure is not a bad thing, it means it's success is around the corner. If Delta is afraid of rejection or failure to risk his ego on a contact-close, then this will be good for him to just practise direct-approaches on girls he likes and contact-close them.

The real problem of the FUR was getting the nerve to ask for the number or email. Once you can ask then you can receive. If you dont ask, you dont receive.

The quickest way to contact close is a direct approach followed by a contact close. I never said a contact-close = a g close, and do not even claim that here.