not addressed in DJBIBLE - quick closes

[Delta]

howdy,

so what's the quickest close you can do? you just approached, had an exchange or two about the current surroundings... what can you say?

"gee, i find you really interesting, let me call you?"

or is there no way to close unless you've engaged them in substantial enough conversation that you've proven to her that there's something other than her looks that you're attracted to?

thanks.

delta

 

[Luke Skywalker]

The 'alpha-male' inside of you can quick-close, the beta-male cant.

The 'alpha-male' inside of you can go up to a girl because you like her, do a direct approach, and close for her number on the spot.

You have to be psyched up though for this, and may have a few c&b's, but the quickest I've contact-closed was ten seconds. Just do a direct approach, introduce yourself, no compliments or anything, just maybe a bit of a fluff 'comment', not a talk, and then close.

 

[Delta]

pfffft... beta male... i'm barely DELTA! thanking my lucky stars i'm not OMEGA!

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

what is the line (or the nature of the line) that you say to get her number?

in my head, i keep hearing "i don't know you from a hole in the ground but give me your number, i'll call you sometime."

tell me how something is said that doesn't elicit that kind of thing in my imagination.

delta

 

[Luke Skywalker]

pfffft... beta male... i'm barely DELTA! thanking my lucky stars i'm not OMEGA!

SO WHAT DO YOU SAY?

Ok, go up to a girl you like, greet her and introduce yourself, ask for her number.

eg. Hi, my name is Delta. <pause - to allow her to talk or give her name> What's your number? or Do you have email?

(or if too shy, ask her if she has email, so that takes the pressure off her 'rejecting' you, after all, if she says no, it's just to a question as to whether she has email, not to whether or not she likes you enough to give her number. IF she volunteers her email, ask her to write her number down. If she says she has no email, but is interested enough, she'll usually give you her number anyway.)

********

If you cant number close fast - go up to people and just number close them to work out the kinks of the phobia - the worst thing is they wont give you any number, or give you a fake one, or just flake out. No big deal.

 

[Delta]

this kind of specificity, was the thing that i was seeking... mmmm... yes....

thanks luke. right... so the mindset behind this is that "this is what people do", that there's nothing strange or bizarre about going up to a stranger because you find them attractive and asking them for their number.

ok. will try to adopt that mindset.

so no explanation huh?

how about a time limit compliment like, "listen, i have to get going but i found you really attractive, kind of my type y'know, and i don't find this a lot. let me call you sometime." ?

thanks much,

delta

 

[Delta]

oh, and right, i'm all about killing the phobia right now. but what i did not KNOW was WHAT I SHOULD BE DOING.

i seriously had no idea that what you should be doing is approach, name, what's your number.... but if it is as simple as that, i think i can do that till the cows come home.

thanks again.

delta

 

[FightinTiger]

Yeah, it's really not very hard. The only hard part about it is overcoming that fear of rejection. But, if you do it in a natural way, just real nonchalant-like, then you will find that it will work quite often.

if you can think of something funny to say to bust her balls, say it. Like, if she's wearing something funny or if she has green hair. if not, just say "hey, you're pretty cute. what's your number?" either one will work.

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

Luke is a self admitted 31yo virgin. Do a search on his name and you shall find more info than you would like to know.

BTW, this is stuff that he posted...

 

[Delta]

be that as it may....

hey, i was a 29 yo virgin... and haven't got a whole lot of action since.

the issue is whether the advice itself is sound.

so in your opinion 'daddy', is it bad advice?

delta

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

I think you need to work on conversation skills. Never mind what Luke says. His advice is neutral at best. Tht's my opinion.


Keep going on the path to sucess. Oh, and read the bible and Keep reading it until you get it.

Best of luck to you.

 

[rocky_mtn]

I'm not speaking for c_m_d, but Lukes advice isn't backed with experience, when someone gets cold approaches and number closes down, then give advice about how to get #s, not repeating what you have read somewhere else.

So here's my 2 cents on # closes. First you need to spend at least a little bit of time talking with her, 2-5 minutes. Saying "hi my name is rocky, whats your number?" does not build any familiarity and comfort and kinda sounds creepy. So you introduce yourself, get her, name, repeat her name back to her "its wonderful to meet you (HB8)" (don't forget her name) Then ask her some open ended questions for her to share something about herselft to you. Then at least you you will know if you want her number and she'll remember you more than the weird guy who starts off asking for numbers.

Then my trick for the number close is never to ask for their number, tell them to give you their number. Like "great talking to you (her name), let me get your number so we can talk more later" or "be sure and give me your number before you take off" or I even used "I'm leaving now, you better give me your number so we can go out later" you get the idea. This almost always works. The times that it hasn't the girls asks for my number, I take that as a blow off but give her my # for the fvck of it.

Some guys here may get the # in under 1 minute, but my thought is there needs to be a little conversation and connection first.

 

[Delta]

i see your point about luke... but for me, as long as he is transmitting ACCURATE INFORMATION and the information itself is sound, i don't really care if he's fing ten chicks a day or is a PARROT.

the only issue is if the info is good.

and considering that a great deal of "experts" here give advice so broad as to be able to cover the side of a battleship, so general as to put patton to shame, detailed, parroted advice from novices is indeed appreciated.

seriously, a lot of advice here is so vague as to simply be no less than valuable than if the person wrote nothing at all... details and specifics seem to be anathema.

thanks rocky for your detailed info though. but if you meet someone as they are heading off to someplace (likely on the street or in a mall), your ability to squeeze in a conversation seems extremely limited though.

ALSO, the conversation seems MORE AWKWARD to me in some ways because the girl is thinking in her mind, WHAT IS THIS GUY DOING? WHY IS HE TALKING TO ME WHEN I'M TRYING TO GET SOMEWHERE?

(example from today, at border's books, i approached a really nice looking brunette wearing high platforms and a very short skirt... went right up to her [first time i actually literally obeyed the 3 second rule] and said hi. she seemed utterly confused about what was happening. haltingly, she said hi back. not the best but because of 3 sec rule, i had nothing prepared, i asked her if she came here often... again, shocked silence and then... "no".... at that point, she wasn't into it or responding to me so i smiled and said, "ummm, i'm going to leave you alone..." and i walked away.)

at least in giving your name, getting hers, and then asking for number... it immediately becomes clear what your purpose is.

AND, if she is incredulous and nonplussed as she very well might be, THEN, you can have a conversation specifically relevant to what's going on. then, you can cajole her.

and thanks for ACTUAL EXAMPLES OF NUMBER CLOSE LINES!!! That's the kinda stuff i'm looking for! great.

thanks cmd but conversation per se, is not my issue. if name,name,number is not the way to go, then the issue becomes how do you accost someone who's on their way somewhere... at one point do you bail because you can see on their face that they're not into it? if it's more complicated then i need more info.

 

[everywomanshero]

I can get as many #s as I want as fast as I want. I could literally round up 100s in one day if I wanted, the problem is obtaining #s this way isn't reliable for moving on to something productive. I like to spend at least 15-20 minutes with a chick, and I only do that if I really am interested in talking to her or boning her, and then I should have very little flaking usually assuming I bother to pursue her.

Obtaining a # is completely meaningless. I actually consider it the equivilent of someone handing me a peice of junkmail. I always laugh when I see AFCs in bars, "DUDE I GOT HER # MAN!!!!". NO day 2 setup, no kissing, not even a freaking hand holding half the time!!! Come on man!

 

[Delta]

"come on man!"

well, that's one way to look at it. but for others it's a way of breaking through a considerable barrier.... to actually get the gumption up to approach and try a close. to understand that it is okay for a stranger to approach another stranger and violate their personal space and actually try a pickup - and that that's ok and it is what people do. not everyone feels this is possible.

it's all relative man... one man's trash is another man's treasure and rome wasn't built in a day.

and 15-20mins may be possible at school or in a club or bar but i doubt it's possible on a street pickup.

delta

 

[FightinTiger]

and considering that a great deal of "experts" here give advice so broad as to be able to cover the side of a battleship, so general as to put patton to shame, detailed, parroted advice from novices is indeed appreciated.

seriously, a lot of advice here is so vague as to simply be no less than valuable than if the person wrote nothing at all... details and specifics seem to be anathema.

I agree with you. I've been told, "dude, just work on your conversation skills" and "work on your personality, obviously there's something wrong with it that's not attracting girls."

well, no sh!t. that's why I'm asking the question. Many people believe canned lines don't work. I agree, in the long run. but, if you don't GIVE a noob some canned lines to work with, they won't know what does and what doesn't. us AFC's need a frame within which to work, THEN, once we practice these generic, canned lines on girls, figure out which ones work and which ones don't, then we will have a basic idea what fits our personality. "General personality improvement" is sort of an advanced level topic, because newbies to the "game" don't really know what to DO to improve.

unfortunately, I'm starting to think this is one of those things that can't be taught. "If you want to know why the horse runs fast, don't ask the horse."

 

[Delta]

hmmm... another thing i have to fight is an incredible urge to end the encounter asap.... i'm panicked and in a hurry myself to get it over with.... hmmmm... how to counter that....

delta

 

[FightinTiger]

hmmm... another thing i have to fight is an incredible urge to end the encounter asap.... i'm panicked and in a hurry myself to get it over with.... hmmmm... how to counter that....

delta

I don't really know. I think it's just mental programming and you have to de-sensitize yourself to your nervousness.

however, humor always works well to make the situation more comfortable. if you can find anything to poke fun of her at, it's a great idea to get her laughing and "break the ice."

I'm blessed with height, so I always make fun of girls for being short. You know, stuff like that.

If you can't think of anything funny, just keep the conversation going. remember to ask who, what, when, where, why, how about anything that she said or anything obvious about her, or just anything in the place where you're at.

 

[everywomanshero]

OK, I think I see where this is going....

Conversation skills: Get a job at a mall kiosk, this will vastly improve those skills within a month., much more so than sarging 4 nights a week would in my experience. You will have to make up BS to keep people engagged for 8 hours straight. If at all possible find kiosks that can hawk or greet to work at.
If all else fails, use a random word generator. Take the word and create a story (aloud) out of it. That's basically what most people do anyway, break the convo down into a series of keywords and then run a story based off one of the keywords.

Easy Sarges: Here is what I recommend. Go to a street with several clubs and bars. Sometimes workers and girls who are upset with friends will sit on benches or empty tables in these areas. Just go talk to them. Mostly they are glad to have someone to talk to. Also, sometimes you can find them on patios hiding from their friends. Inside the venues it is harder because there is more risk they will get defensive. Inside the venue you never ask whats wrong or say it doesnt look like she's having a good time, that will only provoke her defenses to not seem that way. Outside, you can get away with this although it's better to come in with something positve. If u freeze just say this " I like meeting women, and I want to get to know you" that works fine for me credit to Shark. If you can't imagine saying that to a girl, a situational opener can be used. Don't ever let anyone tell you they don't work, I've personally laid girls from bars with both of them.

The phone number really isn't part of the equation at this point, though. I mean there's no harm in getting them, but the idea is more to live in the moment for now I think.

 

[Ace of Flames]

(example from today, at border's books, i approached a really nice looking brunette wearing high platforms and a very short skirt... went right up to her [first time i actually literally obeyed the 3 second rule] and said hi. she seemed utterly confused about what was happening. haltingly, she said hi back. not the best but because of 3 sec rule, i had nothing prepared, i asked her if she came here often... again, shocked silence and then... "no".... at that point, she wasn't into it or responding to me so i smiled and said, "ummm, i'm going to leave you alone..." and i walked away.)

I just have to say that I thought this was hilarious. Like a real joke you would hear from a stand-up on Comedy Central. Classic!

Anyways, why do you want to close so fast anyway? I don't think that's the best option for you, even if you want to get out of there as soon as possible. That's not improving anything, just working around your insecurities. Instead, you should do the opposite of what you want to, and try to stick around long enough to get a nice convo in before the # close. You'll get more comfortable with the whole idea of this approach once you've done it a few times, and also, the numbers you get will return more results. Why? Well, if you just go hi, name, name, number close, the girl has nothing other than your looks to go on. You could be anyone. I'd doubt most girls would give their real number out in response to an approach like this. For all they know, a serial killer could be the guy they just gave their number to.

On the other hand, if you talk to her for a bit, trade some basic info, and basically show her your personality, she can judge her interest towards you. If she likes what you put out there, you'll most likely get a real number, and a date to follow. If she doesn't, well, no harm done. You had a nice convo with someone new, got a little more experience, and its just that much easier for the next approach. Sounds like a win-win to me.

 

[blinkwatt]

DO NOT FLAME ME FOR THIS. I beleive Krauss posted this theory,and it works,YOU HAVE TO BE HONEST AS IF THIS CHICK ALREADY MEANS SOMETHING TO YOU. For quick approaches,and I mean I'm in a hurry I say(after eye contact and the smirk),"Hey I am going to be honest with you. I thought you were attractive and I wasnt going to miss a chance to meet you". Introduce yourself,she will do the same and let her know that you have something to attend to,but would like to talk to her again,# close.

Many say it is B.S. its not. By going up to her you are showing you are confident and do what you want(alpha male).