Nosey ex smh

[vanballmoos]

Man I was so in love with this girl. First person I ever thought about marriage with, kids, wanted to live together, all that good stuff.

Ex broke up with a month ago because she was tired of the arguing. Tried to get back with me 2 weeks later. Turned her away and said I was happy and moved on. I’ll admit I told kind of blew up her phone still venting about the breakup. 3 weeks ago I messaged her saying this was hard for me. Anyways had this really hot date set up last night. Took her to this Argentinian restaurant, the exact same one I took my ex to on our first date. I snapped a video of my plate of food with the caption ‘Argentinian food’ and then you could see the hot date in the video.

A few hours later I get a message from the ex saying it hurts to see that I’ve moved on but if that’s what I want then she loves me enough to be happy for me. Sent her a ?. She said I’m referring to your new date. Told her I’m sorry. Loved you her very much but we just couldn’t stop arguing and weren’t working. Then sent her another text saying as a precedent it isn’t wise for me to say what is or isn’t going on in my dating life.

Feels good man.

 

[Glassguy]

I would have just not responded to her at all

 

[bizzym]

OP, you’re funny and this post is comical.

Your ex isn’t stupid and neither are we. 9.9/10 you posted that on purpose hoping she’d look at it to hurt her feelings and or illicit a response. Who says a few before it’s hard for me and blows up their ex after they say they’re “happy and moved on” (lies) then post another chick while on a date only a few weeks after all that stuff you said. If you wanted to snap your food fine, but you purposely put that girl in your snap. People who are moving on don’t flaunt it. People tend not to put another person on their social media until they’re officially together.

Don’t be so immature OP.

Then the girl wishes you well and you think she’s trying to get info out of your dating life...uhhh what? She didn’t ask for that chit. Sounds like you were mad she wasn’t devasted liked you hope. Instead it backfired with her wishing you well. Then you responded to her. Someone who is really done/moved on would’ve ignored her message or said thanks you too to her well wishes.

You haven’t moved on. You’re trying to hurt her. All this pointing to you still want her. Grow some balls. Stop being immature and work it out because it’s clear that’s what you want.

 

[Glassguy]

now imagine if you had no prospects and your ex was the only thing going for you in your life.

your post would be very similar to the guy who gave his ex validation before she disappeared again.

you'd probably be emotional wreck and suicidal.

thats why we keep telling guys, as soon as you break up with your ex you MOVE ON. dont think about it dont talk about and find a NEW GIRL ASAP.

The best way to get over one is always to get on top of a new one!

 

[bizzym]

now imagine if you had no prospects and your ex was the only thing going for you in your life.

your post would be very similar to the guy who gave his ex validation before she disappeared again.

you'd probably be emotional wreck and suicidal.

thats why we keep telling guys, as soon as you break up with your ex you MOVE ON. dont think about it dont talk about and find a NEW GIRL ASAP.

I agree but there’s a way to go about it and OP did all wrong. He posted that snap on purpose. Someone who genuinely is trying to move on isn’t going to flaunt. Moving in silence is always best.

 

[bizzym]

in his case it doesnt matter. he found a better looking girl (whether he stays with her or not is irrelevant) he has the upper hand right now, as long as he doesnt go crawling back to the ex he can get away with anything.

moving on completely or "in silence" is for guys who need to do it for themselves. the ones that invested too much into the ex and need to remove her from all aspects of their lives to be able to get over them properly

Who said she’s hotter than the ex? OP never said that.

If he’s posting stuff on purpose to hurt her, which he did- that’s not moving on. You don’t move on with your ex in mind. Then OP responded to her and proceeded to send another message. Two messages too many. He isn’t moving on, furthering my suspicion that he posted the snap for his ex. And he still has her on social media, again not moving on. I bet all my money OP even after that last message he sent to her he’s still looking at her social media. If he’s still looking at her stuff on top of all this you have to agree he’s isn’t moving on.

 

[bizzym]

who cares if he did? why are you so concerned with that? hes in the power position

why are you white-knighting for his ex?

It’s not about power. It’s about taking care of yourself and moving on. If you’re worried about having the upper hand and playing games you’re still too invested.

When I’m moving I couldn’t care less what she does or how she feels because I’m focusing on myself. I don’t put any thought into my next move or trying to get an upper hand/putting myself in a power position.

 

[vanballmoos]

Who said she’s hotter than the ex? OP never said that.

If he’s posting stuff on purpose to hurt her, which he did- that’s not moving on. You don’t move on with your ex in mind. Then OP responded to her and proceeded to send another message. Two messages too many. He isn’t moving on, furthering my suspicion that he posted the snap for his ex. And he still has her on social media, again not moving on. I bet all my money OP even after that last message he sent to her he’s still looking at her social media. If he’s still looking at her stuff on top of all this you have to agree he’s isn’t moving on.

My ex is gorgeous. The new girl is hot, but my ex is the type when she walks in the room people stare type beautiful unfortunately.

Yea I do still have her on social media. I looked at all her Snapchats last night.

 

[bizzym]

then you are ignoring the realities of the world and how relationships work.

whether you are conciously aware of the dynamics at play or not is irrelevant. it doesnt change the nature of how relationships work.

indifference isnt something that comes naturally right after a break up. it comes with time. removing an ex from your life completely works if youre too invested in her and have no other options or prospects.

as it is, he has a huge margin for error than guys who arent in his potistion. shes the one messaging him with desperate hail mary texts. not the other way around

simple psychology and relationships dynamics at play

Her? He was blowing up her phone and then tells her this is hard for him. Then after she messaged him saying she’s happy for him instead of ignoring her he responded then sends not one, but two messages to her. As glassguy said, I would have ignored her. He didn’t, and that’s because he was still trying to have some conversation.

He’s still way too invested. Telling her weekend ago this is hard for me is still too invested. Posting a snap to hurt your ex is way too invested. Still looking at her Snapchat even early as last night (as OP pointed out) is still way too invested. Moving on is hard but doing things that let her know you still care is still investing too much.

 

[lizardking82]

Maybe you could care to explain why you two argued so much?

 

[soulforge]

I agree but there’s a way to go about it and OP did all wrong. He posted that snap on purpose. Someone who genuinely is trying to move on isn’t going to flaunt. Moving in silence is always best.

Dude how are you so 100% sure that op posted that snap on purpose??

Maybe he did do it on purpose.. but you do NOT no this for a fact..

Your making this claim, as if you know the op, and you know for a fact what his motive was..


People deal with breakups in different ways.. Now that I am older and wiser I generally go no contact and simply cut contact and walk away for good..

However in the past I have on occasion stayed in touch with exe's and replied back to there messages, even used the whole making her jealous card once or twice..

So what? It's a learning process, we make better decisions with time and experience..

Why not give some advice to the op, rather than berating the guy.

 

[bizzym]

Dude how are you so 100% sure that op posted that snap on purpose??

Maybe he did do it on purpose.. but you do NOT no this for a fact..

Your making this claim, as if you know the op, and you know for a fact what his motive was..


People deal with breakups in different ways.. Now that I am older and wiser I generally go no contact and simply cut contact and walk away for good..

However in the past I have on occasion stayed in touch with exe's and replied back to there messages, even used the whole making her jealous card once or twice..

So what? It's a learning process, we make better decisions with time and experience..

Why not give some advice to the op, rather than berating the guy.

Why am I so sure? 1. He took her to the exact same spot as his first date. Just a few weeks prior he was saying he was struggling after blowing up her phone and now he's on a date and putting on social media a few weeks later? So either he didn't care at all or he did it on purpose. If he had moved on with this new chick and it wasn't on purpose there would be no reason to still engage, which he did by still messaging her and looking at her social media right after that. Plus, it's a crappy thing to use someone else to make your ex jealous. I'm speaking from experience from being used and using someone else-it's just not the right thing to do. Yea you stayed in touch with ex's here and there but he said he was happy and moved on which is completely contradictory to his actions.

I agree, everyone handles breakups different ways but if you're going to look for advice you have to be honest with yourself first. Don't say she's nosey when you still have her on social media and she can still access it. When you're honest with yourself it makes the process of getting over or moving on rather it be with her or someone else a much easier process.

So here's my advice to OP-be honest with yourself. Don't play games. If you want to work it, work it out. If you don't enjoy being single and focus only on yourself.

By the way, how old are you?

 

[vanballmoos]

Why am I so sure? 1. He took her to the exact same spot as his first date. Just a few weeks prior he was saying he was struggling after blowing up her phone and now he's on a date and putting on social media a few weeks later? So either he didn't care at all or he did it on purpose. If he had moved on with this new chick and it wasn't on purpose there would be no reason to still engage, which he did by still messaging her and looking at her social media right after that. Plus, it's a crappy thing to use someone else to make your ex jealous. I'm speaking from experience from being used and using someone else-it's just not the right thing to do. Yea you stayed in touch with ex's here and there but he said he was happy and moved on which is completely contradictory to his actions.

I agree, everyone handles breakups different ways but if you're going to look for advice you have to be honest with yourself first. Don't say she's nosey when you still have her on social media and she can still access it. When you're honest with yourself it makes the process of getting over or moving on rather it be with her or someone else a much easier process.

So here's my advice to OP-be honest with yourself. Don't play games. If you want to work it, work it out. If you don't enjoy being single and focus only on yourself.

By the way, how old are you?

26