Normalizing disrespect/ yelling

[Pandora]

I was talking to an ex gf who is a therapist. She told me that some guys just take their gf yelling at them. They let the gf vent and then in a few minutes or so its back to normal.

She said that guys like me have a low tolerance for shouting and disrespect. She added that no one approach is better than the other. They are both valid.

I listened to her theory. I found it interesting but deep down I dont agree. I consider yelling an unhealthy communication style. It should be used sparingly and on very rare occassion. I believe that conflict should be avoided and rare.

The problem is that most women think conflict and yelling is normal. Most men they have dated since their teenage years have accepted this behavior.

For some reason I cant accept it. My mother rarely yelled at my father ( even though he was a cluster B nutjob). I grew up in a household where the women respected the man. I have a hard time allowing a gf to yell at me.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Psychologist women are crazy. Just ask @Pierce.Manhammer

So its a valid option to accept disrepect from your gf/wife? Nah, no way. Chances are, things are not gonna end well if you do that.

I went to a terapy for a while. Was some of it good? Yes. But this person would say the most blue pill beta things I´ve heard in my life. Take everything they say with a grain of salt and decide on your own.

 

[Pandora]

Psychologist women are crazy. Just ask @Pierce.Manhammer

So its a valid option to accept disrepect from your gf/wife? Nah, no way. Chances are, things are not gonna end well if you do that.

I went to a terapy for a while. Was some of it good? Yes. But this person would say the most blue pill beta things I´ve hear in my life. Take everything they say with a grain of salt and decide on your own.

Yeh I agree. This therapist chick goes to therapy herself lol.

I also told her that women who yell at their boyfriends end up losing respect for them. Then they end up cheating or getting physical with their boyfriends. Yeh bro it does not end well.

How often do you think yelling should happen within a healthy relationship?

 

[Dr.Suave]

How often do you think yelling should happen within a healthy relationship?

From the girl's end? Never. The second she is not treating you like a King you better put your house in order or show her the door.

 

[Kotaix]

Therapists usually end up in that occupation because they have massive problems of their own that they THINK they can fix. I saw this with my ex who was learning to become a therapist, her and her classmates were mostly pretty screwed up.

Also, yelling is a clear sign that a woman is trash. Guys who put up with this either come from a trash background where it was normal, or they have no balls. If a woman is going to make a habit of yelling then she's going to find herself yelling around someone else.

 

[Barrister]

I was talking to an ex gf who is a therapist. She told me that some guys just take their gf yelling at them. They let the gf vent and then in a few minutes or so its back to normal.

She said that guys like me have a low tolerance for shouting and disrespect. She added that no one approach is better than the other. They are both valid.

I listened to her theory. I found it interesting but deep down I dont agree. I consider yelling an unhealthy communication style. It should be used sparingly and on very rare occassion. I believe that conflict should be avoided and rare.

The problem is that most women think conflict and yelling is normal. Most men they have dated since their teenage years have accepted this behavior.

For some reason I cant accept it. My mother rarely yelled at my father ( even though he was a cluster B nutjob). I grew up in a household where the women respected the man. I have a hard time allowing a gf to yell at me.

I think a man raising his voice should almost never be done. It shows a lack of emotional control and it is never a good look. I have found in both business and family, that if I am angry a cold, focused, quiet energy normally gets my point across and intimidates the other party much more so than yelling. Yelling generally escalates the situation into a shouting match with almost anyone you get into it with, man or woman, unless it is a child. And this does nothing but drive your blood pressure up. It isn't constructive.

Whenever a woman has raised her voice at me in the relationship context, I do my absolute best to remain calm and insulated from the emotions she is showing. If you partake and dish it back, it just escalates and it begins to sound like the Jerry Springer show. This is where you must treat women as children. You let her know you aren't going to tolerate the way she is speaking and if she continues, the conversation/argument is over and you will wait until she can control her emotions. If she persists, you exit and employ silence and distance.

Long winded way of saying that I agree with you - a man should never accept this kind of behavior. But how he responds to it and how he employs the punishment for it is key.

 

[DreamAgain]

Yelling should never be tolerated unless in extreme cases. I can't even think of any of the top of my head, I suppose emergencies, major unexpected occurrences, things of that nature.

Yelling is something that was common in my house due to the poor education of my parents. I make sure in my own relationships to not repeat many of the bad things I saw growing up.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

So a therapist believes that yelling is an acceptable form of communication? Man, someone is getting their money robbed. Also, what kind of future are we setting ourselves up with "therapists" like that?

Screaming at someone is a sign of disrespect. And I will never get tired of saying this but NEVER allow disrespect.

 

[HaleyBaron]

When someone screaming, I usually turn around and walk away, woman and man. Not worth the energy. If it's my own kid, then I have to teach them that they cannot scream to get what they want. It's okay to be assertive then. You can do this with grown women, too, but only if you care to mold her into someone you want her to be. And if you want to be her father, which is often a waste of time.

 

[Stanley]

She yells, spazzes out, gets angry, hit em with a "are you done" in a calm manner. Either gets them livid or hits them that they're having a tantrum like a kid. Followed by the "you should go" or something in that vein then silence and distance. They either come back apologizing for their behavior or they don't and you dodged a disrespectful woman.

Example.
Former oneitis recently popped back into my life over the holidays and immediately tried to place blame and start a fight over the phone. I let her have her moment and didn't escalate. Remained calm and stoic, hit her with the "are you done" and she got more angry used some ad hominem then hung up. Didn't communicate with her at all and new she would be back apologizing, she likely expected an apology from me, but I did nothing wrong. Low and behold she came back apologizing deeply and wanted to see me. I told her it takes guts to genuinely apologize, but we're not 'compatible'. She can live with the regret of her actions.

Current FWB was complaining about some new laws in our state. I made the mistake of speaking my opinion on the matter and she erupted into a feminist furry and lashed out at me and men at large. Was called a bigot and misogynist among others. I could've sat there and 'defended' myself and attack her talking points, but instead I just looked at her disappointingly. After a few minutes she realized she was yelling at a wall and looked foolish. Once she calmed down I defused her and took on a socratic approach in regards to the topic, turns out she actually agrees with me... Following that I applied silence and distance, she came back sorry as ever and wanted to 'make it up to me'.

Growing up surrounded by a family full of whack ass women and dating bpd's I've learned how to defuse them without being disrespectful or dropping to their level. Disrespect should not be tolerated period, with a woman I never aim to escalate or raise my voice more than necessary. With dudes it depends, I typically just walk away and don't care.

 

[bmp2cpm]

It is simply an issue of frame. Maintain frame always.

Despite how all the “-isms” have infected women’s brains, women are still biological creatures and they respond well to a strong man who leads.

The media does everything to get men to forget this.

Destroy strong men and you destroy the family unit and what a coincidence….it is a perfect situation to push a global government that everyone is dependent on.

Not maintaining frame literally has major destructive impacts on the world.

Be the strong man you were meant to be. Ignore all the “-isms”.

 

[RazorRambo24]

If a woman respects you, she's not likely to yell at you. Yelling at someone is a sign you either dont respect them or you got anger issues. Most men need to wake up and smell the coffee.. Its not hard to tell if a woman respects you or not.. some men are just dense.

and theres tons of wackjob men out there who yell at women all the time.. insecure dudes, anger issues, etc.. lets not even talk domestic violence..

Men these days need to stop acting like women are the problem or that women are crazy.. Nah, in society, its men who are responsible for the way women become. Men lead, women follow. The fact that so many men these days are weak causes women to get away with so many behaviors unaccounted for ... thus leading to a rise in feminism and other bad sht

 

[typical]

The last girl that yelled at me I didn’t respond and instead just grabbed my jacket wallet and keys and left the apartment. It was my apartment ..... but I wasn’t about to stick around and get yelled at by a child that wasn’t able to look after herself. Not worth the effort.

She never yelled at me again and even though she fell off as a plate she still messages me once in a while to say happy birthday and Christmas New Years and the odd occasional text to “see how I am”

She still wants to marry me

 

[Bokanovsky]

I was talking to an ex gf who is a therapist. She told me that some guys just take their gf yelling at them. They let the gf vent and then in a few minutes or so its back to normal.

She said that guys like me have a low tolerance for shouting and disrespect. She added that no one approach is better than the other. They are both valid.

That's kind of like a male therapist saying that some women have a low tolerance for being beaten.

A woman yelling at a man is verbal abuse. The goal is to control and humiliate the man. It's really no different than a man utilizing his belt to keep the wife in check.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Psychologist women are crazy. Just ask @Pierce.Manhammer

So its a valid option to accept disrepect from your gf/wife? Nah, no way. Chances are, things are not gonna end well if you do that.

I went to a terapy for a while. Was some of it good? Yes. But this person would say the most blue pill beta things I´ve heard in my life. Take everything they say with a grain of salt and decide on your own.

In general, both women and men who are in that occupation have one of the highest suicide rates for any occupation there is.

 

[sangheilios]

Therapists usually end up in that occupation because they have massive problems of their own that they THINK they can fix. I saw this with my ex who was learning to become a therapist, her and her classmates were mostly pretty screwed up.

Also, yelling is a clear sign that a woman is trash. Guys who put up with this either come from a trash background where it was normal, or they have no balls. If a woman is going to make a habit of yelling then she's going to find herself yelling around someone else.

I've heard many men talk about women that are attracted into psychology as a major in university. One trend I've noticed is that they seem to have issues and what I believe is that they may feel learning about psychology may provide them a better understanding of themselves as individuals and how to address the problems they have internally as well as with others, namely men/relationships.

 

[SW15]

I've heard many men talk about women that are attracted into psychology as a major in university.

Psychologist women are crazy. Just ask @Pierce.Manhammer

There's a difference between an undergrad majoring in Psychology and a psychologist.

Those who major in Psychology in undergrad without pursuing graduate work in Psychology or getting an MBA/JD will likely end up as sales reps. Post-college, these BA in Psychology sales reps can be very dateable women.

Psychologists have PhDs and are not very dateable.

 

[TheKid]

Only neurodivergent women yell and scream at you.

 

[manfrombelow]

Except for children, my ONLY response to an adult yelling at me (be it, anyone, from a HB9 to a dude) is WALKING AWAY.

Yelling is one form of disrespect, and when it comes to disrespect, you do not tolerate it.

It's as simply as that.

And about female "therapists" telling her male customers to tolerate disrespect, well that's the future of the Western society.

 

[manfrombelow]

And when you dig deep enough: If you tolerate disrespect towards yourself, you are disrespecting yourself.