Noob needs help, FAST

[deeno]

Hey all, I've been hanigng around here and reading the articles and tips, but never posted. I also studied, but have yet to practice, the System.

Now on to my problem.

After getting my car window fixed (from vandalism) at a local dealership, I went to pay. Now the cashier/receptionist is a cute girl, and we get to talking while waiting for my credit card to go through.

Within 5 minutes, I find out she has an ex-bf, what city/borough she lives in, what state she was from originally, what car she drives, and what she did before working at this dealership.

I'm thinking a lot of these are "buy" signals, but I'm as blind as a bat when it comes to these things. The ex-bf thing really caught my attention though, because she asked me what I did, and I told her I was an engineer, and she said her "ex-bf was also an engineer for 'xyz' company".

But I failed to "close the deal", although it kept running through my head at the time to get her #.

Now I have a dilemma...do I

1) "find" a reason to return and then get her number.

2) wait for the dealership follow-up call and hope it's her calling.

3) just return and get her number without any other reason.

4) call her at the dealership and ask for her number or date.

or 5) Learn my lesson about "closing the deal" (yes...I hesitated) and call this girl a loss.

I spoke with a female friend of mine, and she suggests I just grow balls and go back without a reason except to ask her out (instead of getting her #).

According to the System, I just want to get her # for now.

 

[spanky]

Today I made a post about a similar situation. I met a chick at a Walgreens and had a similar conversation as you had. The difference is, it is easier to find a reason to go back to a Walgreens than it is to a car dealership and I didn't get it the first time because there were people in line behind me.

Anyway, after I left, I decided that I would return to the store and simply walk up to her and ask her for her number. But since I needed more cold medicine, I just got that and walked up to her cash register and asked for her number.

I say, heed your friend's advice. Return to the delearship with no other objective than to simply get her number. She held a conversation with you and will remember you. Do not let days past then it will seem too weird.

Simply tell her that you enjoyed talking with her and would like to call her up sometime. I bet you she will be impressed at the fact that you returned to do that. It will show that you were thinking about her.

 

[MetalFortress]

Originally posted by deeno
I spoke with a female friend of mine, and she suggests I just grow balls and go back without a reason except to ask her out (instead of getting her #).

I say get her number, although your friend's advice is not bad. Any girl who will actually give you DJish advice is gold.

 

[Walden]

Yeah go back and straight ask her. Not elegant but tbetter than fiddling about. But do it TODAY!

 

[Kodiac]

DO IT MAN, walk right up there with ball's in hand (not literally hehe) get the number and float out the window

Oh, and be sure to let us know how u go...

Go for it!!!!!

 

[bp1974]

I like your friend's advice. If you're going to take the trouble to go back there, then you should just plain ask her out. Even if youg et rejected, it'll be good experience. Going back there just to get her number is only a delaying tactic now. You stopped following the System when you didn't number close first time round, so it doesn't apply anymore. Besides which, once you're well into AFC recovery, the System is just a guide despite it's name.

 

[Julian]

I agree, finding a reason to go is just bogus. Thats not why your there. Why go to the grocery store to buy a gun? Ya heard me.

 

[deeno]

hey, thanks for all the advice.

I'll be going back there today and i'll let you know how it goes. I think at this point, I'll ask her out and try to keep the System in mind (specifying a day and place) and let it go from there.

I'll let you guys know how it goes.

 

[Satan Psycho]

I hope you read this before you go.

IMHO, if you are not feeling confident (and sure that confidence will show through), you should not just go straight in there and ask. If you think you might appear nervous or anything un-alpha, you should think up an alterior motive, like your window 'stopped working right' This would take the pressure off you because anxiety would not build up as you walked across the parking lot and through the door, etc.

PS. I just say this because you said you're a newby. If you think you can be bold and confident, you should do what the others suggest.

Good Luck

BTW, I'm not a newby. I just had to get a new screenname.

 

[deeno]

Confidence is not a problem for me, it's the "ice-breaking" and "deal-closing" I have problems with.

for example, if I'm at a party and see a girl I want to talk to, it'll take me sooooo much to just initiate a conversation, but if we start talking for whatever reason (by accident or by eventually "breaking" the ice), i have no confidence problems whatsoever and can have very interesting (if she's not an airhead) and productive conversations. But when it comes time to close the deal (getting the #), it runs through my head and I always find a reason to not do it.

for an analogy, I am a racecar driver that's good at going around the track and knows it, but if you ask me to start from a complete stop or to come to a complete stop after driving, I hesitate.

 

[deeno]

AND THE RESULTS ARE IN:

I went back there, and she was on the phone, so I went to the parts desk and ordered a part I needed anyway. I then stopped over at her counter and told her that they ahve my wrong address (they do). After she changed it, I leaned over and asked if she wanted to have dinner next Wednesday.

She put on this BIG smile but then whispered that she had a boyfriend. She tells me she has MY number though (which doesn't really mean anything as we all know from the System).

I actually feel really good, not because I got shot down, but because this was the first time I did something like this without expecting to get shot down (as I did in the past), and I felt VERY at ease as soon as I started talking to her.

As for getting shot down, i didn't feel it, AT ALL!

 

[Slickster]

Great job Deeno.

Keep up that attitude of not giving a sh*t and you will be way ahead of the game.

One suggestion though. Get to know "buying signals". Its tough to tell what her interest level was from your post. But even if she accepted the date or gave you her # there is still a high chance that she would flake on you if you hadn't build enough interest + attraction.

Study posts on ****y + Funny, Eye contact, Kino and Conversation.

Your confidence is great. Keep at it.

 

[bp1974]

Good on yer. Who knows, you may get a call from her sometime.