Hey guys, you ever had any experience dating girls who uses drugs a lot? The girl I am seeing right now parties a lot and drops ecstasy every now and then. That bothers me a lot but I dont know how to tell her that without sounding controlling or like an AFC. How would you guys approach this situation?
Non AFC way of telling your girl not to do something?
- Thread starter Jababa
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playboy_supreme
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its your own fault for seeing a drug abuser in the first place, did you really think that you could start seeing her and change her, thats what woman attempt with bad boys. tell her to pack the drugs in if she doesnt, deal with it or leave.
What happens, IN HER MIND, is that she comes to see you as WORTHLESS simply because she hasn't had to INVEST anything in you in order to get you or to keep you.
You were an interesting diversion while she had nothing else to do. But now that someone a little more valuable has come along, someone who expects her to treat him very well, she'll have no problem at all dropping you or demoting you to lowly "friendship" status.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
Jababa trying to change people can work out bad.
I understand you have good intentions but drug taking is a part of culture these days, i personally despise it but i drink alcohol so who am i to judge.
As Playboy says you should never try to change someone, if the drung taking is a problem for you move on there are plenty more women in the world.
You might also find that without the drungs She changes into a diffrent person.
Ricard
I understand you have good intentions but drug taking is a part of culture these days, i personally despise it but i drink alcohol so who am i to judge.
As Playboy says you should never try to change someone, if the drung taking is a problem for you move on there are plenty more women in the world.
You might also find that without the drungs She changes into a diffrent person.
Ricard
brucevangeorge
Banned
Just tell her that you care for her health. That is why she should stop this habit.
If she doesn't, dump that ho.
If she doesn't, dump that ho.
Girls that party alot and drop ecstasty usually don't spend any money for the drinks or for the ecstasy. The reason is that they always have a drug dealer "friend/predator" nearby to supply them with it. However nothing in this world is for free and her drug dealer friend would have probably fvcked her by now after she took the drugs (either willingly or unwillignly).Jababa said:
Get rid of her, nothing good will come of this. This girl has skeletons in her closets the size of Shaquille O'neal and you don't want to find out about them when its too late.
DjDamage
Ecstacy is a very bad drug, too.
I saw a documentary of a girl who binged on it for about a year. After she quit they scanned her brain. Holes, huge holes, about 40% of her brain was simply gone from the year binge on ecstacy. I'm not sure the exact rate she took them, but I remember the documentary describing she binged.
I saw a documentary of a girl who binged on it for about a year. After she quit they scanned her brain. Holes, huge holes, about 40% of her brain was simply gone from the year binge on ecstacy. I'm not sure the exact rate she took them, but I remember the documentary describing she binged.
Well, she did say that she is going to quit for good after doing it one last time last weekend....But then again she can say a lot of things. Sigh....I dont know if I should believe her. ALso, if a person takes lots of ecstasy, doesnt it mean that they will probably have sex/touches a lot of different people a lot while they are under the influence, it is called the "love drug" afterall. I'm not sure I'd be too happy knowing she's out there doing these things with other guys...But i have to admit, I am already attached.. what should I do 
I'd probably not show that I am jealous becuase it seems like such an AFC thing to do, but deep down, I know I will be jealous...so I really don't know how to approach this situation. We have been seeing each other for about 2 and a half months now, and I think things are getting pretty serious between us. How would I make it clear to her that I would not like her to do it in the future without sounding too controlling??
I'd probably not show that I am jealous becuase it seems like such an AFC thing to do, but deep down, I know I will be jealous...so I really don't know how to approach this situation. We have been seeing each other for about 2 and a half months now, and I think things are getting pretty serious between us. How would I make it clear to her that I would not like her to do it in the future without sounding too controlling??
Socialreject
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Yah man, you're looking at all this stuff from a totally wrong angle...
You're not there to sort her fubar life out you know! You got a life of your own!! Drop the shrew and go DJ some other hotty that had her life together a bit better.
Look, if a girl does somethign you don't like you shouldn't start thinking about how you are going to 'change' her. Heck man, most therapists spend YEARS trying to change a persons habbits and most of the time it fails! What makes you so damn special?! Write her off, move along... You do realize there are loads of women right? Leave the girl your dating now for her drug dealer pimpfriend, he'll be happy enough with her!
You're not there to sort her fubar life out you know! You got a life of your own!! Drop the shrew and go DJ some other hotty that had her life together a bit better.
Look, if a girl does somethign you don't like you shouldn't start thinking about how you are going to 'change' her. Heck man, most therapists spend YEARS trying to change a persons habbits and most of the time it fails! What makes you so damn special?! Write her off, move along... You do realize there are loads of women right? Leave the girl your dating now for her drug dealer pimpfriend, he'll be happy enough with her!
Socialreject
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Jababa said:Well, she did say that she is going to quit for good after doing it one last time last weekend....But then again she can say a lot of things. Sigh....I dont know if I should believe her. ALso, if a person takes lots of ecstasy, doesnt it mean that they will probably have sex/touches a lot of different people a lot while they are under the influence, it is called the "love drug" afterall. I'm not sure I'd be too happy knowing she's out there doing these things with other guys...But i have to admit, I am already attached.. what should I do
Damn dude, you are really just starting the basics aren't you? You have about 0 inner game! But yeah, that's cool, i can see my old self in there somewhere. Did you read the bible yet? Or any other lecture to help you get going a bit? I'm only asking cause if you have to start out here from the total basics you are going to have to ask really a lot of questions and some of the guys here get annoyed fast and get a little rude if you ask a lot of newbie question ;-)
Yeah, i have to admit, I am pretty n00b, that is why I am seeking advice from you guys becuase you guys have something that I dont have, which is experience with girls. and im sorry if it annoys some of you, but I really need some advice on this
Socialreject
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yah well before you can start having experience with girls you really need to work on building up your inner game a bit, then it will come much easier. That's why i said... READ. You really need to read some of the basics, and if you already have, read them again. Then start trying some stuff. Always remember, you're not going to find any fool proof 'tactics' that will be totally inside your comfort zone. No such thing, you're always going to have to cross the line.
You can't be a good DJ if you are needy/insecure... and you are definitely needy and insecure! Try working on that.
As for the chick your dating, like everyone said.. dump her!
You can't be a good DJ if you are needy/insecure... and you are definitely needy and insecure! Try working on that.
As for the chick your dating, like everyone said.. dump her!
smoke city
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How about this? "Don't do that again."
But seriously Jababa, I'm making it a point of replying to your question because it's something I'm going through right now with my girlfriend...well,
soon-to-be ex-girlfriend!
There are two categories that unacceptable behavior from your girlfriend can fall into:
1. Isolated stupid behavior. This might include something like saying something overly harsh during a fight, or throwing her weight around, or just acting like a typical feminine b1tch from time-to-time. This stuff comes with the territory. after all...she's a woman and, by design, totally insane. The way you react to this is just to put her in her place. Tell her to keep her mouth shut instead of flapping it and losing control of herself. this stuff is the easy stuff...
2. Patterns of behavior. These are major character flaws -- including, say: weakness, instability, personality disorders, ignorance, racism, and, yes, drug addiction/alcoholism. I personally see any indicator of these patterns of behavior as a major red flag and IMMEDIATELY break up with the girl. Sure you might be wrong 1% of the time, but the other 99 cases are truly MISERABLE and will MESS UP YOUR LIFE. take it from someone who has seen it too many times. YOU CANNOT CURE HER. never wait around for a woman to correct a flaw in her character. it's basically never worth it.
But seriously Jababa, I'm making it a point of replying to your question because it's something I'm going through right now with my girlfriend...well,
soon-to-be ex-girlfriend!
There are two categories that unacceptable behavior from your girlfriend can fall into:
1. Isolated stupid behavior. This might include something like saying something overly harsh during a fight, or throwing her weight around, or just acting like a typical feminine b1tch from time-to-time. This stuff comes with the territory. after all...she's a woman and, by design, totally insane. The way you react to this is just to put her in her place. Tell her to keep her mouth shut instead of flapping it and losing control of herself. this stuff is the easy stuff...
2. Patterns of behavior. These are major character flaws -- including, say: weakness, instability, personality disorders, ignorance, racism, and, yes, drug addiction/alcoholism. I personally see any indicator of these patterns of behavior as a major red flag and IMMEDIATELY break up with the girl. Sure you might be wrong 1% of the time, but the other 99 cases are truly MISERABLE and will MESS UP YOUR LIFE. take it from someone who has seen it too many times. YOU CANNOT CURE HER. never wait around for a woman to correct a flaw in her character. it's basically never worth it.
Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
MindOverMatter
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1.) grow some chest hair
2.) wear a wifebeater
3.) develop a new yorker italian accent.
4.) slap her around a bit and tell her to get off the sauce. put herself together, and grill you a steak.
5.) if she overcooks the steak see step 4.)
2.) wear a wifebeater
3.) develop a new yorker italian accent.
4.) slap her around a bit and tell her to get off the sauce. put herself together, and grill you a steak.
5.) if she overcooks the steak see step 4.)
[S]alvatore
Master Don Juan
It does not put holes in your fu<king brain. The holes show up, due to depleted seretonin levels.grr said:
Nevertheless any mind altering drug like Ecstasy will have long term brain damage and with high usage, you cannot expect minor to no brain damage. It's just like alcohol, drink too much of it and your liver/brain pays for it. Same forth for cigarettes and fatty french fries which affects your body.[S]alvatore said:
I don't mind if someone has experimented once or twice with it, but continously doing it at least several times a month will do some moderate brain damage. I personally know of a girl who does it once a week, man o man when it comes to concentration, she can't do it! She's almost like a clinical case of ADD. When she broke up with one of her boyfriends (with whom she seems to have a long list of ex's) she was on X almost every day, and she had this empty soulless look in her eyes, man to think I almost hit that, I just chill now to see what she's doing but I think she'll just end up as one of those statistical lonely 30+ women who got probs.
PS. Don't play Captain Save a Ho for a damaged girl.