No social life effecting DJ potential

[Scott92]

My problem isn't with fear of girls, it's the lack of a social life that's holding me back. I'm a good-looking, outgoing person, and that's what makes it harder. I was popular in highschool, but I skipped so much I never had any real close friends, and to this day (I'm 20) I haven't talked to one person from HS. That and the fact I'm not in college (I graduated HS by the skin of my teeth), makes it harder. I did have a few close friends from my job, but when I quit we kind of lost touch and stopped hanging out. So now I have zero people to hang out with on the weekends, and I don't go to malls or the movies because I have nobody to go with, lol. Now I know you guys probably think this doesn't effect DJ'ing girls, but it does. I have nobody to go with me anywhere, and I also don't have a cell phone, because I have no one to call. So how am I supposed to pick up girls? They're gonna know something's wrong right off the bat when I don't have a cell. Another thing, every time there's a get-together with relatives, they ask me if I have a girlfriend - I always have to say no. They probably think I'm gay, it wouldn't surprise me.

Do you guys have some ideas of how I can get my head out of my ass and manage some kind of social life? I might be getting a new job in the coming months, but I have no idea the age of the people who work there. So I can't really bank on that.

This situation is kind of a bummer.

 

[Lompa]

First of all you should get to collage and get better grades.
After that, focus on getting freinds-its easy.

 

[SamRi72]

Well, I'm no social expert, but one thing I can say is "Wow, you ****ed up bad dude". What hell were you doing when you weren't in school? High School and College are supposed to be the best years of your life so I hope you threw it all away for something good.

Here is my best set of solutions:
1. "If you're a scared motha ****a go to church" (Prophets 7:24)
Church is a great place if you want to be religious, find direction, and meet homies/ women. All major religions have a meeting place of some sort so do some soul-searching.

2. Community College: It's cheap schooling and you can get into nearly any college if you excel in it. Worst comes to worst, it's a cheap way to meet people who might have very similar situations to you who probably considered the same thing you're doing now.

These places will be your starting ground. Make friends, build confidence, and find yourself here.

Once you have built yourself up:
1. Clubbing: Ladies, also a great place for you to challenge your newfound homies.

2. Parties: Crash tons of them. Worst comes to worst it's free food and spiked drinks. What do you have to lose?

You came to the right place to start. DJing should also help you in your quest for self-actualization (the psychology word for what everyone is essentially working on but especially you)

Maslow's Pyramid of Self-Actualization

Self-Actualization (Big word meaning your full potential as a human being)
Respect/ Self-Esteem
Love and Belongingness
Security
Safety

Right now, you are at security as you probably have a secure job and food to eat. What you lack is love and belongingness which is why you need one of these groups. Once you gain this group you can excel and get on with your life better. Otherwise, you will lack in your ability to move up the pyramid and find your true potential.

 

[KarmaSutra]

First of all you should get to collage and get better grades.
After that, focus on getting freinds-its easy.

Dear God, you're going to advise someone to go to "collage" and then make "freinds"?

First you need a dictionary. Pronto. Second, read the fvcking thing front to back twice.

Once I've gone over your work, and I find it satisfactory, you will be allowed to post your spin on things. Until then please go play hide and go fvck yourself.

Now, to answer the young brother in need, The easiest thing for you is also the hardest and most obvious. Get out an meet people. Go to clubs, bookstores, coffeeshops, the usual suspects. You'll have to break down every wall and stumbling block you have by sheer will. Once you do it, you'll be better for it.

 

[rrrrr]

you have to be damn good to make friends at random places like bookstores and coffee shops. I use these places to just practice convo, not making friends, especially same sex friends.

a good place to make friends is a place you see the same people on a regular basis, ie work, school, a club of some sort. if you like tennis, join some tenis club. for me, the racetrack and fellow racers is a huge place to meet people because we have the same interest.

 

[Chemistry]

And remember when back in High School some of the not so smart popular kids laughed at the kids with good grades... funny how things change completely in the real world when you're a little older...

What you need to do now is sit down and think what it is YOU want to accomplish in life and I'm not talking in terms of chicks... draw yourself a plan and set a time to do those things... the real issue is that your life seems to lack direction... once you have that direction clear in your head and you're going somewhere, then friends, interests and chicks will come

Honestly, there's no quick fix...

 

[SamRi72]

Dear God, you're going to advise someone to go to "collage" and then make "freinds"?

First you need a dictionary. Pronto. Second, read the fvcking thing front to back twice.

Once I've gone over your work, and I find it satisfactory, you will be allowed to post your spin on things. Until then please go play hide and go fvck yourself.

Now, to answer the young brother in need, The easiest thing for you is also the hardest and most obvious. Get out an meet people. Go to clubs, bookstores, coffeeshops, the usual suspects. You'll have to break down every wall and stumbling block you have by sheer will. Once you do it, you'll be better for it.

First off, Karma Sutra, you are a nutcase with a hard-on for proper grammar. This is a DJ forum, not an English major forum. Don't get so down on people for not having perfect typing/spelling. We're just here to help each other, not call everyone stupid for misspelling one word and blowing them off. College isn't necessary for success but it does help so don't just blow him off because he spelled it wrong. Next time I catch you misspelling, you're gonna know about it.

Secondly, great idea about coffee places. I meet a lot of people at the Panera Bread (Which has awesome coffee) by my bus stop. Women check me out there all the time but I've never done any DJing there, and I really should.

 

[Wanderer*]

Go join some clubs man....chess clubs....marbles clubs...other random various geek clubs...

Lol j/k but all you really have to do is play lots of sports...for example i made heaps of friends once simply by joining my local gym's basketball group.

 

[MrS]

SamRi72, what are you, the dude's lawyer?

They are terrible, basic spelling mistakes he made, and the dude said open a dictionary and learn how to spell.

 

[callmemister]

Get out an meet people

easier said then done

you have to be damn good to make friends at random places like bookstores and coffee shops

yes

draw yourself a plan and set a time to do those things

any book to reccomand?


alex

 

[mexican_player2]

man, just focus on making big money, and everything else will follow....

 

[mexican_player2]

easier said then done



yes



any book to reccomand?


alex

the mack within by King Flex

http://www.amazon.com/o/ASIN/B000FKPA7I/ref=s9_asin_image_1/002-0395281-2524800


it will change your life , just like it did mine

 

[Kerpal]

I have the exact same problem, I'm 20 also and skipped classes all the time, barely graduated high school, did nothing for a year, then went to college in a different state. I have no friends here and only a couple of friends in my old town. I'm just going to try to be more social at college and make more friends.

 

[md3sign]

1) buy a cell phone. nowadays not having one is worse than not having a car.

2) get into some sort of college and meet some people in your class

3) going to clubs/bars/random parties all of a sudden might be too much of a stretch .. figure out what interests you (like some co-ed sports or a hobby), look up something in your city that offers it, and sign up. it's easy to meet and befriend people who share your interests

IMO the first step to picking up chicks is being able to just hold normal conversations with strangers and make friends

edit - also some good recommendations for reading here: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=115626

knowledge is power my friend