No sex yet. Do I throw her out?

[the_stig]

I dunno..

Sometimes I don't get this place. Everyone complains about what low quality cöck riding whöres women are, the good ones are so hard to find, etc, but when a guy posts about a girl that won't fück after knowing him two days the general consensus is "wasting your time, kick her out". Huh??

Every girlfriend I've had that gave it up right away has turned out to be a sloot in the long haul. They are a high risk for cheating. Just because she won't fück you on command doesn't automatically mean she dominates the frame. You don't act thirsty for sex and there's no power for her to grab.

 

[Jaylan]

I dunno..

Sometimes I don't get this place. Everyone complains about what low quality cöck riding whöres women are, the good ones are so hard to find, etc, but when a guy posts about a girl that won't fück after knowing him two days the general consensus is "wasting your, time kick her out". Huh??

Every girlfriend I've had that gave it up right away has turned out to be a sloot in the long haul. They are a high risk for cheating. Just because she won't fück you on command doesn't automatically mean she dominates the frame. You don't act thirsty for sex and there's no power for her to grab.

This.

OP, best of luck...but I still think shes calling the shots. Seems like she just gave you the sex so she could crash and also so she could keep you interested. Thats just the vibe I got. Ive never had to deal with much resistance like that from a girl after we've been alone in a bed. I definitely dont get told crap like "youre not at that level yet". I wouldnt even wanna rush to have sex with a girl who told me some crap like that. And then you also had to outright tell her she cant stay at your place without putting out? Ultimatums are a turn off. Youre both pretty good at saying unsexy things though I guess lol.

Sorry, but I think she's actually calling the shots. You seem way too thirsty and a perceptive women can pick up on that even if you think you hide it well. Like I said, good luck...but you need to stop having these awkward verbal statements made regarding sex....doesnt matter if its her or you saying them.

You wanna know how Ive played situations in the past where the girl wanted to let me know she wasnt yet ready for sex? I simply say "thats fine with me babe. Whatever's comfortable." And then I just keep kissing her. And I dont have to say that often. Most of the time what happens is Im making out with a girl, I tease her with the idea of oral, and then once Im going down she ends up pulling me up after a while to tell me she wants sex.

Again OP, dont be thirsty, and aim to truly sexually please this chick. Thats how you get them to wanna jump your bones. When youre practically begging and giving ultimatums in order to get sex, she holds the power even if she puts out (if your aim wasnt a one night stand). From now on you need to play things cool and get some control back.

 

[the_stig]

My current situation parallels what happened to the OP.

Met a girl off Tinder and hit it off. On the 2nd date she starts the sex talk pretty heavy, but jokes that there won't be any sex until the 10th date. She comes from a fairly conservative family and there were serious undertones.

I simply agree and amplify saying "well if you're lucky maybe I'll let you have it by the 15th date".

I don't bring sex up again. As the days roll past, she begins sending risque photos out of the blue, telling me how horny she is and how much I turn her on, can't wait anymore. Saw her last Friday for the 4th time and smashed within an hour. Oh, and I dominate the frame; she is in full pursuit mode initiating everything.

So.. the less needy you are for sex, and faster their legs open up.

 

[Jaylan]

My current situation parallels what happened to the OP.

Met a girl off Tinder and hit it off. On the 2nd date she starts the sex talk pretty heavy, but jokes that there won't be any sex until the 10th date. She comes from a fairly conservative family and there were serious undertones.

I simply agree and amplify saying "well if you're lucky maybe I'll let you have it by the 15th date".

I don't bring sex up again. As the days roll past, she begins sending risque photos out of the blue, telling me how horny she is and how much I turn her on, can't wait anymore. Saw her last Friday for the 4th time and smashed within an hour. Oh, and I dominate the frame; she is in full pursuit mode initiating everything.

So.. the less needy you are for sex, and faster their legs open up.

Bingo my man.

Women dig a little chase when it comes to a guy whos confident and mature about sex. The less thirsty you are, the more curious the woman becomes. Like I said in my previous post, guys should just roll with what the woman is saying as if its no big deal...because it shouldnt be a big deal if the woman says she doesnt want to rush. Live in the moment with her and things will happen naturally.

Match her sexual energy without being too eager. And also make sure she knows you want to please her, and youll have her basically chomping at the bit to jump your bones.

Lmao @ 10th date though. Who's it she think she's fooling?

 

[handle]

Whenever something like this happens I'll act the opposite of thirsty. The next time we chill I won't even try to initiate a damn thing. Then she'll be jumping my bones like 99% of the time.

I think girls don't know what to do with a guy who has a level head sometimes. All of a sudden they're intrigued. I remember telling this one girl once "hey, I'm not that easy…" When's the last time they've heard some shiet like that?

 

[The_411]

I dunno..

Sometimes I don't get this place. Everyone complains about what low quality cöck riding whöres women are, the good ones are so hard to find, etc, but when a guy posts about a girl that won't fück after knowing him two days the general consensus is "wasting your time, kick her out". Huh??

Every girlfriend I've had that gave it up right away has turned out to be a sloot in the long haul. They are a high risk for cheating. Just because she won't fück you on command doesn't automatically mean she dominates the frame. You don't act thirsty for sex and there's no power for her to grab.

There'a narrow line here and yes it cuts both ways. The problem is that the longer you go without sex increases the chance you're get the LJBF or there's no chemistry I don't feel a spark line.

Conversely if you hit it quickly then it's up to you to cut her loose if her behavior shows she's not going to be loyal.

 

[Huffman]

Sometimes I don't get this place. Everyone complains about what low quality cöck riding whöres women are, the good ones are so hard to find, etc, but when a guy posts about a girl that won't fück after knowing him two days the general consensus is "wasting your time, kick her out". Huh??

I agree man, and I have no problem if a girl doesn't want to have sex for a the fist couple of weeks.
But if we're having heavy sex talk basically on the first date (I was interested mostly because of that), she calls me all the time, comes out to town to see me and then wants to go to my place, sleeps in my bed, kissing me all the time and I can't fall asleep because my balls hurt, then she's got to understand I'm not happy after 2 such nights. It's ok the first time, but not a second one.

And Jaylan, here's where I disagree with you for once. Are you seriously saying that "if done right" no girl would have refused sex? Man I'm not the best guy in bed and improving all the time, but if I just can't get anywhere and am really losing interest, then I'm gonna stop trying at some point. You know, the first night was all nice and sweet. After some trying, I respected that she didn't want to. And I certainly didn't give her any crap. But that other night (which was like our 4th date) I actually wasn't up for another night of cuddling and blue balls. I literally can't sleep and it destroys what little free time I have. That's kinda cold, but it's the truth and I told it to her face. It certainly wasn't smooth, and I didn't expect her to come around.

I'm surprised you view the situation so badly. It's worked out better than I expected.

 

[Huffman]

Maybe you are confused about my actual iterest in her. It started out as what looked like to be a one night stand. The way she was talking and behaving seemed like she wanted the D! But she wasn't up for it, but asked for my number. Well ok. Call me, girl, and see what happens.

She calls me up the next day, I say nah. Day after, the iron is hot and I take her out. She immediately wants to go to my place, making sexual innuendos all the time. What is this if not a ONS?

So you must understand that I really expected to be f*ck buddies. I guess that's why I was so brutal in confronting her: I simply didn't care enough. And it worked. Sad, isn't it?

Anyway from the way I'm writing it sounds really cold, but I'm actually a pretty caring guy... will need to make up my mind soon because she wants to see me all the time and it seems a bit serious already.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Maybe you are confused about my actual iterest in her. It started out as what looked like to be a one night stand. The way she was talking and behaving seemed like she wanted the D! But she wasn't up for it, but asked for my number. Well ok. Call me, girl, and see what happens.

She calls me up the next day, I say nah. Day after, the iron is hot and I take her out. She immediately wants to go to my place, making sexual innuendos all the time. What is this if not a ONS?

So you must understand that I really expected to be f*ck buddies. I guess that's why I was so brutal in confronting her: I simply didn't care enough. And it worked. Sad, isn't it?

Anyway from the way I'm writing it sounds really cold, but I'm actually a pretty caring guy... will need to make up my mind soon because she wants to see me all the time and it seems a bit serious already.

Caring? The game is set up for you to succeed. Play to your needs. Your needs > her needs. Who cares what she wants? Do you want to see her all the time? If the answer is no, i suggest you just contact her when you need some entertainment. Life is a chess game. People all serve a purpose and a role. You can't treat a pawn like a rook or a horse.

 

[Jaylan]

I agree man, and I have no problem if a girl doesn't want to have sex for a the fist couple of weeks.
But if we're having heavy sex talk basically on the first date (I was interested mostly because of that), she calls me all the time, comes out to town to see me and then wants to go to my place, sleeps in my bed, kissing me all the time and I can't fall asleep because my balls hurt, then she's got to understand I'm not happy after 2 such nights. It's ok the first time, but not a second one.

And Jaylan, here's where I disagree with you for once. Are you seriously saying that "if done right" no girl would have refused sex? Man I'm not the best guy in bed and improving all the time, but if I just can't get anywhere and am really losing interest, then I'm gonna stop trying at some point. You know, the first night was all nice and sweet. After some trying, I respected that she didn't want to. And I certainly didn't give her any crap. But that other night (which was like our 4th date) I actually wasn't up for another night of cuddling and blue balls. I literally can't sleep and it destroys what little free time I have. That's kinda cold, but it's the truth and I told it to her face. It certainly wasn't smooth, and I didn't expect her to come around.

I'm surprised you view the situation so badly. It's worked out better than I expected.

Where did I say women wont refuse sex? I simply laid out a way to get a girl revved up enough that she's less worried about appearances and more concerned about enjoying herself. In other words, she would rather have good sex with you now, rather than put it off based on stupid arbitrary societal rules about how long people should wait.

If she still wants to pump the breaks, Im cool with that. But I wont deal with a consistent occurrence of a girl teasing or not letting our relationship progress naturally. I have patience to a point.

 

[Huffman]

In other words, she would rather have good sex with you now, rather than put it off based on stupid arbitrary societal rules about how long people should wait.

Fair point. In the morning we were at least dry humping (which she said we weren't going to do), and she enjoyed it. So I might have done it after 2-3 more nights of persistence. I will also be honest to admit I'm no sex god, and if you have any resources, please share.

And you other guys, will you please stop ranting about her controlling me. The original problem is gone, and I'm actually more worried whether she's girlfriend material now. Hope she doesn't start "the talk" soon.