No response from a girl.....

[harkkam08]

I met this girl in my college and we had good rapport and I got her number after the talk.

Turns out she works not to far from where I live, and we chatted about things and laughed etc. I find out she is a manager at a tanning salon

So a couple of days later I sent her text message

Me: "hey its (harkkam08) we met at (college), has anyone ever told you that you look like snooki?"

Her: Thats quite mean

Me: "Lol I know did u ever try getting bright orange?"

Her: "No why are you saying this?"

Me: "Just because I like teasing people and Im bored. How was your birthday celebration"

No response after that.

So Im not sure what to do after this. I was thinking I would just call her in a few days and talk to her and ask her out.

What do you guys say?

 

[Tiguere]

praise god. you just dodge a no sense of humor.. low self esteem ...materialistic.. superficial b1tch.

 

[harkkam08]

So wait are you saying I messed up?

 

[floydb25]

Not sure what Tig is going on about... But, it sounds like you started teasing her way too soon, without making it known that you were, and she took it as you were insulting her. Which is understandable. If a girl I just met said "What's up loser?" - I'd probably tell her to get bent. Not a good way to begin a conversation with someone you just met. They'll just think you're a jerk. Unless she is one herself - then she probably won't care.

Generally, you do this as the conversation flows naturally, and you become more comfortable with each other. Unless she's a *****, of course.

 

[harkkam08]

So what should I do?

Should I wait a few days and just call her and pretend the text never happened?

 

[floydb25]

You could do that. It sounds like you already messed up, and she wasn't impressed by your insultful demeanor. I wouldn't hold out hope for her, but it won't hurt to try again. I'd recommend not apologizing or pleading. Just see what happens, and take it either way.

 

[harkkam08]

You could do that. It sounds like you already messed up, and she wasn't impressed by your insultful demeanor. I wouldn't hold out hope for her, but it won't hurt to try again. I'd recommend not apologizing or pleading. Just see what happens, and take it either way.

Yeah in fact I was going to say I was sorry for being a jerk. I was thinking that since I had already messed it up that saying sorry would be the only way I could get on her good graces

 

[floydb25]

Most people do. It's too early to care too much about what she thinks, or trying to win her over. Its just another female. One you just met, and haven't even dated.

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Ugh. You guys and your negs...

Know what I would have said? "Hey it's (me). How's life at the tanning salon?"

If she liked me, and the rapport we established in-person, then she'd respond. If not, then she won't. But I damn sure wouldn't f**k up the situation in advance by negging her just for the hell of it.

Yeah in fact I was going to say I was sorry for being a jerk. I was thinking that since I had already messed it up that saying sorry would be the only way I could get on her good graces

Saying sorry wouldn't change anything. In fact it would just weaken your position with her.

Because at least right now you can blame her by saying that she doesnt have a sense of humor. But really, I dont think you have much of a position with her in the first place.

 

[Demonpenz]

make sure there is report before you go on blast. Great time to learn to calibrate though. write back on how it goes.

 

[WorkingDJ]

That was absolutely terrible. Honestly.

Just didn't start out great nor ended well.

 

[harkkam08]

Well this friend that I know I asked her for some advice and she told me to say this via text

"Hey. i enjoyed meeting you and Im sorry for the Snooki comment the other day. It was my poor attempt at humor. I can't say it was my finest moment. How's your week been going?"

All my guy friends have said not to apologize and just send her text and ask her whats up later during the week, or bet yet just call.

My gut is saying to just call her and cut all this BS text back and forth.

I did make the mistake of negging without calibrating and building enough rapport, I just threw in a neg even though my gut was telling me not to.


So....

1. Do I apologize?..... Im thinking no
2. Do I text or call..... Im thinking call

 

[Trump]

Well this friend that I know I asked her for some advice and she told me to say this via text

"Hey. i enjoyed meeting you and Im sorry for the Snooki comment the other day. It was my poor attempt at humor. I can't say it was my finest moment. How's your week been going?"

All my guy friends have said not to apologize and just send her text and ask her whats up later during the week, or bet yet just call.

My gut is saying to just call her and cut all this BS text back and forth.

I did make the mistake of negging without calibrating and building enough rapport, I just threw in a neg even though my gut was telling me not to.


So....

1. Do I apologize?..... Im thinking no
2. Do I text or call..... Im thinking call

Your mindset seems off. She doesn't care about how you feel or your finest moment, she only cares how she feels.

I've never understood the concept of negging, what girl likes to be put down? You can tease her slightly, but only after you have built enough rapport with the girl.

Instead of this "How is your week going...etc." Teach her something about tanning salons, the college you go to, or the VIP club you can get into. Generally girls, or any people for that matter, want to be associated with guys who command power and respect.

 

[Vice]

People misuse negs ALL THE TIME.

The neg was developed for an environment where women had an overinflated sense of their sexual value (a 5 thinking she's an 8 because the girl to guy ratio is 6:1 and she's getting attention from so many guys). It's a way of bringing them back down to earth while also differentiating you from the rest of the guys that were doing and saying the same things.

That being said, she seems insecure. Another example of why you should text as little as possible: it decreases your chances of saying something stupid.

 

[harkkam08]

Okay what do I do then?

Call or text?

I should have just called it would have been easier

 

[Tovansky]

no call. no text. just meet her up. what? are u afraid of actually meeting her up in person.

no apologizing or sh1t, it's not gonna change anything. sounds like you kinda messed up with the timing and the joke. but if you like her, just meet her up. you know where she works anyway.

and if the response isn't good, then she is not the right woman for you. move on.

 

[floydb25]

Don't listen to what your female friend said. They never fail to give bad advice.

I don't know if going to her workplace is the best idea. She might be pissed at you, and not want to see you. Plus, it might give off creepy, needy vibes. If someone's not interested, you don't go pester them at work. That will just make them dislike you more, and probably think you're a stalker. It will also place you in a chasing position.

I don't know why you're so worried about this. You messed up, and its not looking good. Take it as a learning experience, so you know what not to do next time. You should always have enough options that you're not too worried about one person thinks, or becoming concerned when they lose interest.

Remember: its a number's game. Just because you GET a number, doesn't mean you're in. Interest can still be lost afterwards. That's why you get lots of numbers, and sort through the options.

 

[Iceberg]

Don't listen to what your female friend said. They never fail to give bad advice.

I don't know if going to her workplace is the best idea. She might be pissed at you, and not want to see you. Plus, it might give off creepy, needy vibes. If someone's not interested, you don't go pester them at work. That will just make them dislike you more, and probably think you're a stalker. It will also place you in a chasing position.

I don't know why you're so worried about this. You messed up, and its not looking good. Take it as a learning experience, so you know what not to do next time. You should always have enough options that you're not too worried about one person thinks, or becoming concerned when they lose interest.

Remember: its a number's game. Just because you GET a number, doesn't mean you're in. Interest can still be lost afterwards. That's why you get lots of numbers, and sort through the options.

Listen to everything Floyd said.

Definitely DON'T listen to that other guy's advice about showing up to her workplace. She's just some girl you like. It's not like you have a history together. No point in putting all this work into ONE girl who you're not even sure likes you.

And again...as Floyd said....why worry about this? This is a numbers game, and she's one girl. I could understand it if SOMETHING happened (sex, make-out, etc)....but all you have is a phone number. You could go out on a weekend, get 10 numbers, and still end up with 10 flakes. Numbers mean nothing.

As to your question of text or call...do what you want. Neither option is going to make her hate you more, or make her more attracted to you. It's irrelevant.

But I'd probably just leave this girl alone for a while. She doesn't sound very interested in the first place.

 

[pdx1138]

Don't say sorry.

don't text or call her.

And Dont' EVER tell a woman you were just "BORED."

 

[Desdinova]

There is a proper place and time for neg-hits. You use them before or just after the approach. NEVER use them on a woman you've already built rapport with. You will turn your progress into an unrecoverable mess.

I'm going to go against the grain on this one and tell you to apologize to this woman for the rude comments. I don't believe in burning bridges, and having positive contact with people can be very useful at times. However, you CANNOT turn your relationship with this woman into a romantic nor sexual one. The best you can aim for is to be friends, and apologizing to her can give you that.

Afterwards, you need to forget about turning her into a date and persue other women.