Seeing this woman for a few months now who has been straight up with me since the get go. No mind games, no guessing or assuming. Just straight to the point with no BS. Now we're seriously dating and I'm literally finding no real red flags. Successful in her career, family oriented, pays for dates, always willing to do stuff together, consistently DTF. Sure her and I don't always see eye to eye and when we don't we'll have a grown up discussion about it and get over it. I'm starting to think something is up. We recently took a roadtrip to Nashville and had an awesome time. Just pure fun with no real issues. I'm in foreign territory here fellas lol.
No Red Flags a red flag?
- Thread starter jaymbrs
- Start date
backseatjuan
Banned
How old is her kid?
There's always red flags, always. It all really depends on whether or not her particular red flags are deal breakers for you. One huge piece of advice I wish someone had given me, wait until the fog of lust lifts before you make any serious, life altering decisions. If you're still this high on her about 2, 2+ years from now, then you're probably on to something.
If she's still this DTF 2, 2+ years from now, you've got a real shot. The other biggest thing, which I'm sure all of us on here know, once the sex dries up, the relationship isn't far behind. And I don't know too many guys that would willingly choose not to f*ck their significant other as often as they could, so that drying up is usually centered around her unwillingness to f*ck. Oh, she'll blame it on you but we know that's a straw man argument. Oh, you work late. I didn't like your behavior. I want this. All excuses to hide the truth that she's't the one who doesn't want to get down.
She recently moved from another city. She's been dating but hasn't gotten serious with anyone.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
It could be you found one of the 2% that are worthwhile. Enjoy but keep your eyes open.
They do exist, but it takes 1 year minimum to know with any real degree of certainty. I always have joked with my girlfriends that precisely at the one year mark, both parties realize how bat sh!t crazy the other is. I say it jokingly, but it’s true.
I’m on two years with mine. Zero sh!t tests. As even-tempered as can be.
They do exist, but it takes 1 year minimum to know with any real degree of certainty. I always have joked with my girlfriends that precisely at the one year mark, both parties realize how bat sh!t crazy the other is. I say it jokingly, but it’s true.
I’m on two years with mine. Zero sh!t tests. As even-tempered as can be.
Red Flag.
She's single for a reason. Probably the type of woman that end things abruptly and for no reason at all even though everything is going great. Usually these women have underlying commitment/insecurity issues stemming from childhood. Their parents raised them to believe they are inadequate and don't deserve to be loved.
Keep your emotions in check and don't reveal any feelings for her. Once these chicks know they have won you over they usually bounce.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Unless she's an actual quality woman, in which case she is holding out for a decent guy. The odds are against, statistically speaking, but the possibility is there.
lizardking82
Master Don Juan
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I have one question for you:
Is the overall mood of the relationship "let's have fun, have a good time and that's it" most of the time, or is she now starting to act girlfriend-ish? Cause if a woman really likes you overall as a man, after a couple of months, there are usually good signs she is trying to push things towards a relationship (that's what every woman wants when she finds what she considers to be a good man for her all-round).
R
Ranger
Guest
Just enjoy her. Stop thinking and observe. The art of observation. Who says she’s not legit or who says she is legit.
I was in you're same situation. Just enjoy yourself and the time you spend with her. And remember to hold frame and be the same guy that got her in the first place. And only time will tell if she has any red flags. Just don't turn into a beta and get comfortable now that you got her because that's when the problems will start.
Leaning very much in the direction of relationship. She already offers to cook for me and has started leaving little things at my place (which I jokingly call her out on). But the biggest thing is the cooking. She tells me how much she enjoys doing that for me.
R
Ranger
Guest
Just don’t get fat and lazy. Lol
Like grandmothers all over the world, the rare excellent cook loves to fatten people up.
She is offering you a fair exchange. Her intimacy and taking care of you. This is traditional.
The time for real observation comes when you start that “relationship”. She will most likely not show you red flags.
You will need another skill now. A much much more important skill. Introspection. People concentrate on the woman here way too much. They really aren’t that important. They are very simplistic and do not harness exceptional calculative reasoning and powers.
“Men are not important enough to purposely sabotage or damage intentionally. They (women) fail to consider that men are fellow human beings. These things only happen in the movies.”
Introspection is your self evaluation. Keep a journal that concentrates only on you. You will notice sooner than later that you are thinking differently and feeling differently. This is what you want to see. Learning to understand your own biology and what happens to a man in a LTR or exclusive relationship. Forget the woman.
Concentrating on her is exactly what she wants. Good or bad. All of your attention has to be on her or the feminine imperative isn’t taking hold.
You MUST keep your attention on you to learn and see what happens to you. Only then can you find and alter or correct your thinking and conduct.
Stop looking for red flags!!! This is a method to secure her survival. You are being distracted. The deal was already struck. Her authentic intimacy in exchange for your protection and real or potential resources.
Don’t be a patsy. Stop concentrating on the silly girl. She is fully capable of every red flag known to man. Concentrate on what’s happening to you!!!
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Good advice and will keep this in mind.
RickTheToad
Moderator
They all have red flags. You just need to look clearer at the situation to see them.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
"Perfection" is a huge red flag.