No More Mr Nice Guy

[christoff522]

Okay first: goof off means to be lazy, chill out, relax - do something fun.

No More Mr Nice Guy is a great introduction to inner game, it allows the beta/nice guy to realize his own failings and gives him limited tools to deal with them.

Its something that needs to be read and internalized. But its by no means the end of the road. The majority of growth is not in techniques or ideologies, but in working on one's self, their personality and their emotions.

Self-Control is the key, and complete belief in one's self, self-love. The way you think and feel makes you act differently. That is 'alpha'. Perceived power and status, potential, that attracts women.

Its a much recommended book.

 

[Rainman4707]

The Author is writing about guys caretaking women. Guys focusing on anothers problems, needs, or feelings in order to get one's own needs met, feel valuable or avoid dealing with one's own problems or feelings

The author tells me to identify at least one covert contract between me & a significant other. What do I give? What do I expect in return? Share this info with the other person I'm not going to ask my girlfriend those questions....it seems a little gay in my opinion. I'm not saying this because she found the book.

Sidenote :- My girlfriend came across this book in my car on Sunday night :s haha

GF :- ermm whats this? erm if you're reading this, then that means I'm bad right?

Rainman :- Haha....it's an interesting read.

GF :- yeah, but it means I'm bad

I told her I'm going to concentrate on driving unless she wants me to nearly run over an old age pensioner crossing the road AGAIN!!

Later on I told her -

Rainman :- Yeah that book is interesting, fascinating.

GF :- yeah it means I'm bad!?

Rainman :- it's just about nice guys buying chocs & flowers....manipulating women interesting book.

GF :- Yes I'm not stupid, I'm quite old & know mens tricks. It takes a while to get me in bed.

Rainman :- Interesting book.

Sidenote two:- I find learning about seduction, women, women's minds & game fun.
I've studied other subjects, but spend way more time studying subjects mentioned.
In Neil Strauss's the game he mentioned a few trainee pua's also spend a LOT of time studying these subjects instead of others....one guy had a prosperous future in banking ahead of him, but instead of focusing on that, he spent the majority of his time on game

 

[Serenity]

No, please we love nice guys! Especially guys like you... I've noticed ur the only guy who smiles here (uses smile emoticons). Please don't change

For a guy like me who has been flat out rejected and told I'm too nice, your comment is almost offensive. It's under a week ago I was rejected, and she told me straight out and honestly that I was nice. The girlfriend of a best friend of mine tells me I'm being too nice, and she sincerely wants to help me. I remember some chick a while back who I did indeed manage to fvck on the first date friendzone me within a day, because I was nice.

Why are men a$$holes? The things we love made us that way by hurting us, yeah that's right women make us into a$$holes.

Then there are those experiences I have when I didn't give a sh!t, the whole fvcking universe turned upside down. Not only did I get their attention, I couldn't fvcking shake them off me. Being as stupid as I was I slipped back into the twisted ways of the nice guy, which is how I very recently fvcked up massively. I spent $130 on this girl because she was interested, at least interested. I fvcked her, all good and well. She should have figured out by then that I give a sh!t, which is exactly what they want right? A guy to be trusted, right? A guy who will be there, right? NOOOO, fvcking wrong!!!

What's the mistake? I lied and hid my true nature under a polished nice guy. Am I a full time nice guy? No, honestly from the core of me I am not! Do I get angry? Yes. Do I hurt people? Yes. Do I make massive mistakes? Yes, I've probably broken several of the 10 commandments. Am I always relaxed and happy? No, it's fvcking impossible without being dead inside. There's more on the positive side as well that I didn't show, which would have massively helped had I not acted nice. I'm playful and spontaneous. Highly creative. An excellent problem solver. Can handle interpersonal conflict without causing world war III, because I can both bend and stand my ground. I know how to do it in bed, I've never had a complaint and usually get the opposite.

The true reason a nice guy is nice. He's a pvssy and doesn't dare to stand up against or challenge anything, and when he does it's through cowardly tactics and passive-aggressiveness. He chooses to be nice because he knows it keeps his a$$ out of trouble, trading the truth for safety. What keeps a nice guy being nice? Anxiety and fear, if not someone else is telling them what to do and how to behave there's this fvcker inside their heads telling them. That fvcker is the echo of all the people controlling you and your actions, and you believe them even though the people aren't even there.

It's not even truly nice to be a nice guy. A man needs to man the fvck up. How are women supposed to feel safe if a man can't even stand up for himself. How are women supposed to trust a man who can't even trust himself. It's not ultimately nice to give a woman a weak man, given she deserves it and isn't an a$$hole herself. Some women are out of pretty much the same reasons, while they simultaneously deceive themselves to be nice.

So yeah, fvck off you deceptive b!tch.

 

[Rainman4707]

Ha, good post Grewd. you're correct about those characteristics of nice guys. They are afraid of conflict

The latest activity instructs me to basically be selfish all week fulfilling my needs & nobody elses
:S I'm not going to do that I'm thinking this is aimed at nicer guys than me like reese who would go along with anything his boyfriend said just to keep him. That's not me...I've developed to much to be that nice.

I think I understand the "selfish" strategy so don't see the need to complete this activity.

 

[Rainman4707]

I'm feeling that this book is for nicer guys than myself.

It's a great book & I will continue reading it.

 

[Rainman4707]

So the Author is writing how nice guys should express their feelings more. How it helps them reclaim their personal power

It's more of a woman's thing to express her feelings right.

I know I am hesitant to share my feelings with girls as men aren't supposed to do that

I do share my feelings a little with my girlfriend, but not very often.

 

[Rainman4707]

Sorry, but I’m getting a little sick of all this self help bull****.

A great point from this book is that nice guys are scared of confrontations with their women. They don’t want to rock the boat.

My girlfriend has the implant in her arm & it has been making her drowsy & moody over the last couple of weeks.
I’m sat at hers thinking well I have to understand how she is feeling, but at the same time I’m thinking I don’t want her looking at me thinking im her ***** who takes her bull****

Reading the section on boundaries. Neil’s wife had an affair before their marriage. He told her he would never mention it again. Basically she dances with other men in front of him & disrespects him in front of his friends. Neil was pi**ed off one night & called her a *****. He apologised the next day.

His nice guy group told him he had to set a few boundaries. He did & she said that she wont be told what to do, so she left only to return a few days later to say she knew he was right & she now respected him for the first time.

Interesting how a woman has to be told what to do instead of just behaving in the correct manner.

 

[Rainman4707]

Been reading books on sex over the last few months so haven't been reading no more mr nice guy

Just started reading it again last night & one of the activities is instructing me to arrange to meet three guys I would like to get to know better.
I'm gonna be blunt - im not going to do this activity. I'm meeting a few male friends tomorrow & likely seeing my GF on my other two spare days so..
I realise if one is reading this thread, I may come across as negative & lazy

I have found this book helpful though, mainly it has taught me some men are *****s & are scared of confrontation.