No Moaning

[TheWayOfAllFlesh]

Most of the time I come on here moaning about how insecure I feel being a virgin or how I don't feel attractive or how I can't approach girls. Here's a positive story from me for a change.

This year has been completely life changing for me in so many ways. It started September '07 at the age of 16 when I cut my long hair off and started to dress properly instead of dressing like a metalhead.

Things were silent til February this year when I bought a phone of a mate and he gave me the number of a hot girl. We were texting and met up once but she decided to go out with someone else. I was bothered slightly at first but thought ahh well get on with it.

Two weeks later these two hot girls in the year below added me on myspace and I knew one of them liked me. I got chatting to here and accidentally got drunk and texted her saying I liked her. I got 'LJBFd' and didnt speak to he again. Turns out she didn't like me and was trying to wing for her friend but she 'warned' her about me'

I was so ****ing crushed by this it got me down for weeks and weeks and my mates we're starting to avoid me because I would get upset quite frequently. I became a ****ing emotional hotbed and would get upset at every given opportunity thinking 'why does nobody love me'.

It was around march time I started asking questions on Yahoo Answers. The typical stuff like 'why dont girls like me' with typical responses from everyone saying 'youll find someone eventually'. This started a downward spial which led to me quitting work (before they fired me).

I eventually came across this website and started to lurk and downloaded the DJ bible. It boosted my confidence at home but I would still feel upset and depressed at school. Some sort of regression thing probably.

Then in June I went away for a weekend to the Download Festival and my life changed. All of a sudden I felt super confident like I had been born again. I was talking to strangers (male and female) all the time and even managed to get with one girl by the end of the weekend



I went back to school on the Tuesday brimming with confidence but fell to pieces by the Friday again. To top it all off I had started to get depressed again because I was double guessing whether I made the right move staying at a school which I hated and felt constantly judged by everyone.

I went away on holiday in the summer on a cruise ship and thought right nows the time to start from scratch and try to socialize. I went to the teenagers club first night and got chatting to a group of lads but ended up a recluse for the rest of the week.

Halfway through the cruise a new bunch of people arrived and a bunch of people left so I thought this time i'll do it proper. I did and made a great group of mates (guys and girls) who I am proud to say I still keep in contact with. I was easily the AMOG of the group (wasn't hard) and was shocked when people would come out with stuff like 'your the coolest person i've ever met'. And one of the girls when she go back left a comment on her friends myspace saying 'OMG i met this aidan lad and he was a rite sex bomb!!'

This confidence continued all through my summer and then I had a thought. I thought this is gonna run out when I go back to school and I hate it there. It was a tough decision but I pulled myself out of school to start fresh at my local college. I had pretty much wasted a year but this was what I had wanted to do.

I took the course in Media Production and on the first day I was already seemingly the leader of the pack because everybody seemed to be hanging on to my every word when I spoke.

I hung around with one kid more and more and i'm proud to say I have now found a new group of friends which I felt comfortable around for a long time. However on the way back from the chippy they were talking about sex and I didn't say anything as I was a virgin and did not want to sound silly. They asked me if I was and I said yes. They then started joking around with me (I took it well at the time) about how theres nothing wrong with being a virgin until you turn 18. They didnt know that first I was 18 in a month and that what they said pure hurt me because i've always been insecure about it.

Then a new girl started on the course who was best mates with a guy on the course who I hung round with occasionally. One day he wasn't in so she hung round with us and we got a good rapport going. Cutting through this part I ended up making out with her after a night out and now my confidence was Sky High. She said she wasn't interested in a relationship and i said thats cool so made no move...then she got a boyfriend two weeks later. I was more confused then crushed...bloody women haha

And i've gotta say I am having the time of my life at the moment. Great college mates. Stillmeet up with my best mates from my old school and now i've got the looks to get people's attention. I've been shaken a bit when people say I am top dog in the class which i will never believe haha cos it seems a mile away from who I use to be. It's great how all I did was get what I wanted out of life and now i'm super happy where I am and other people notice this.

I still have my flaws admittedly. I still feel a sense of insecurity about still being a virgin which if people do discover can seem to make me regress to my state of mind from my old school. Hurts even more when they think I looko like a guy whos been laid a few times. And even more when they say theyll let me shag their mates sister cos id like to lose it a girlfriend at least. And theres a cute girl who ive managed to perk up interest in and receive IOIs from but yet I still feel afraid to approach. However this is one of my new years resolutions along with getting a job again haha.

But still i'm having the time of my life and urge anyone on here who feels uncomfortable where they are working or feels that they don't fit in to try and simply pick up and move on (no looking back) or try to join a new social circle and find similar people who share your passions. It was my blind luck at college that I found another trendy cool metalhead who like me had long hair back in the day and I feel great knowing I can be more passionate than usual about my interests.

I still maintain my interest in finding a nice girl and doing the deed but I am more focused on my passions now and always look for ways to improve myself knowing that a girl shoudln't come first. Would still like to approach/meet one though. Approach anxiety will be worked on in 2009.

It's nice to leave a positive message on here for once haha. Thanks for reading all the way through if you did. If you take anything positive away from this message good luck and follow your passions.

My xbox motto is now 'Put Yourself First & The Rest Will Sort Itself Out'

 

[Perry]

I like the change that has happened to you. Just make sure you don't lose that self confidence anytime soon and keep trying to build your social circle. If you come across someone who doesn't like you, DO NOT go back to being a beta male. Your confidence will only go up and up if you do not lose your current state of mind. Take it from a guy who has been in the same situation as you are now.

 

[CapedCrusader08]

See,this is the change I have been seemingly waiting my whole life for, yet it hasn't happened. the years go on, and it keeps slipping by. It's either shyness,insecrutiy/anxiety,or maybe really not being able to connect with people, or not finding someone(s) to share passions with. Or I don't even realize it when it happens perhaps. It feels instead of being secure/a leader, I am still struggling to fit in somewhere,like I am still on the outside, like this feeling of just sort of desperatley wanting to belong.

thing is,when I was 18,hell 16,and a virgin,it bothered me immensley. I felt like something was seriously wrong with me and I Was seriously missing out. This took over me and made it seemingly even more harder and harder to improve like I just gave up on myself.

I also realized something else,and it has something to do with anger and how I see the world, and how much of it is me with where I fit in and where I don't. Recently,someone told me, "You're you, you're not a group of people", to which I was rather flattered. And it made me realize, well re-realize something I had known before, I think I hate people and don't care about what to me is the stupid,superficial trends everyone seems to follow, or it's my own perception of they're bad taste,whatever. Maybe it's this feeling of being out of place of the current generation. I mean,such an example: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=67220262

 

[Clarky]

To the OP great thread.

This is all it takes, confidence to take a chance and maybe make mistakes.
Yeah you've been turned down, and yes it sure as hell doesnt feel good but you have the balls and the courage to keep fighting for what you want.

Do you think Michael Jordan always had the skill to play top level basketball?
Do you think Tiger Woods was born with his golfing ability?

Sure to hell they wern't!

It takes hard work to get to the top, and if you keep up your attitute your will get alot of success
It just goes to show though, your considered top dog at your new college, people will treat you in a the way you portray yourself, and by finding a new group of friends and acting a certain way your viewed as a high status individual.

 

[Warrior74]

See,this is the change I have been seemingly waiting my whole life for, yet it hasn't happened. the years go on, and it keeps slipping by. It's either shyness,insecrutiy/anxiety,or maybe really not being able to connect with people, or not finding someone(s) to share passions with. Or I don't even realize it when it happens perhaps. It feels instead of being secure/a leader, I am still struggling to fit in somewhere,like I am still on the outside, like this feeling of just sort of desperatley wanting to belong.

thing is,when I was 18,hell 16,and a virgin,it bothered me immensley. I felt like something was seriously wrong with me and I Was seriously missing out. This took over me and made it seemingly even more harder and harder to improve like I just gave up on myself.

I also realized something else,and it has something to do with anger and how I see the world, and how much of it is me with where I fit in and where I don't. Recently,someone told me, "You're you, you're not a group of people", to which I was rather flattered. And it made me realize, well re-realize something I had known before, I think I hate people and don't care about what to me is the stupid,superficial trends everyone seems to follow, or it's my own perception of they're bad taste,whatever. Maybe it's this feeling of being out of place of the current generation. I mean,such an example: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewProfile&friendID=67220262

Shut up. Go do something about it.

 

[theunflushables]

CC08, fvck all is going to happen to you if you wait for it to happen. The OP went out there and made his life the way he wanted it to be. Do the same.

 

[TheWayOfAllFlesh]

CC08, fvck all is going to happen to you if you wait for it to happen. The OP went out there and made his life the way he wanted it to be. Do the same.

THIS!!!

Whilst I still need to work on my AA I can at least say I am more comfortable with where I am now than I ever have been.

I'll be fine by the end of 2009 I believe

New Years Resolution was to overcome AA and get a girlfriend

 

[horaholic]

You're fine now. Life is 90% attitude, and you have it now. DONT LET IT SLIP AWAY! I go through phases. Im chronic depressive, but it doesnt take much to get the momentum going. I've been very pvssy starved all last year, yet this week alone, I have have had three different girls in my bed, with possibilities of threesomes in the future. When it rains it pours. Watch 'The Secret.' Whether its the universe, or just your own mind, what you think, will manifest itself, good or bad. Take CC08. He has a miserable mindset, so miserable things happen in his life. Not that its easy to break the cycle, cuz I've been there, and still go there sometimes, but I know whining about it only makes it worse, so I fake it till I make it.

 

[intrextrovert]

Can hardly wait for college. Though I also kinda really can wait for it, i've got it alright here and will really miss everyone. I've got it pretty good here, so i feel all sentimental when i think of leaving, but at the same time i know that i can do better, and this small town is not for me. I dunno.

 

[TheWayOfAllFlesh]

You're fine now. Life is 90% attitude, and you have it now. DONT LET IT SLIP AWAY! I go through phases. Im chronic depressive, but it doesnt take much to get the momentum going. I've been very pvssy starved all last year, yet this week alone, I have have had three different girls in my bed, with possibilities of threesomes in the future. When it rains it pours. Watch 'The Secret.' Whether its the universe, or just your own mind, what you think, will manifest itself, good or bad. Take CC08. He has a miserable mindset, so miserable things happen in his life. Not that its easy to break the cycle, cuz I've been there, and still go there sometimes, but I know whining about it only makes it worse, so I fake it till I make it.

What's 'The Secret'?