no luck with women on net within the 4 years-any guys experience this

[joe45]

any of you guys here met a lot of girls off plentyoffish-dating website or okcupid and found that none of them really wanted to meet up with you the 2nd time. we go for coffee at starbucks and chat for 1 hr or sometimes 1hr half depending on the girl, but after that first date none of them want to meet up with me agian to hang out-be it tennis, go for walk on beach...etc just to get to now one another better.
for me i been on pof for like approx 3 -4 years now off and on and met approx total of 25-30 girls off pof. some i liked and was hot and others was more of a bigger girl, either way i still met up with them. why i guess to make friends and see what happens
the thing is none of them i talk to anymore and afgter the first date meeting , they don;t want to hang out with me anymore -so no 2nd date.
any guys experience this similar to me. do you find that meeting girls off the net is a good thing or just a waste now. b/c i am thinking now its a waste of time-since with my outcome.
i think the reason could be b/c i also don't have a lot of friends, and i don't go out much, i jsut work and go home or just hang out with these 2 other guy friends who are also lacking in the girl and dating department.
my hobbies are like watching movies off the net, walking, listening to music off the net and before just doing homework and surfing net.

 

[Warrior74]

are you serious?

Time to get off the net and into the real world.

I hope you are already doing the following:

Dressing like a player (DJ) every single day.
Practicing good hygine.
Having a good hair cut.
Exercising 2 to 3 times a week.
Cutting back on Porn.
Focusing on your goals and dreams.

Post a picture of how you dress going out. You may be presenting yourself in a bad light. Also what sort of conversations are you having with these women online and when you meet them. How does your convo go?

 

[joe45]

Time to get off the net and into the real world.

I hope you are already doing the following:

Dressing like a player (DJ) every single day.
Practicing good hygine.
Having a good hair cut.
Exercising 2 to 3 times a week.
Cutting back on Porn.
Focusing on your goals and dreams.

Post a picture of how you dress going out. You may be presenting yourself in a bad light. Also what sort of conversations are you having with these women online and when you meet them. How does your convo go?

well my typical convesation when meeting them face to face for coffee. is generally
hey how are you doing
hows her job and does she likle it and i tell her about my job and how long i been doing it
travelling where we been and want to go and i ask her how europe was like and different from canada(i live in canada).
hobbies-
prettyu much like asking questions about herself and getting to now her.

 

[Duffdog]

I personally have found that online chics in general are not very exciting. That is why they are online--they are the female equivalent of losers. Hot girls with lots of friends are always invited to social events and go do things, they do not sit at home and hope that someone talks to them.

I have found this to be true over and over. If you took my percentage of hookups from real life and from online, it would be something like 30 times as many real life girls followed through with the fvck close versus online girls. I posted an ad or 2 on craigslist and met some cute girls, but they still were not as attractive as real life females that I picked out. Bottom line is, real life females are where its at. I think I would hate my life if I had to do online stuff only to find a mate.

 

[AAAgent]

if you are the joe that posted his pic in your own thread a while go i would suggest this.

First a clean shave. don't have that Fob look or little mole hairs showing. So shave it all off.

If you have the money for it, revamp your wardrobe. I'm a college student and i can still afford to dress nice. Banana, express, armani, diesel, etc. You can do this slowly if u want and that works best. I used to buy 1-4 items of clothing per paycheck and sooner or later my whole wardrobe was changed.

growing up i went through many phases. normal not name brand clothes, skater/punk clothes, enynce/azzure/akademiks/ghetto clothes, to now casual/dress casual clothes.

i'm not saying you have to go buy all the brands listed above but just buy more classier clothes. It's hard to find good looking jeans but if u find good ones stick with them. Dress clothes, you can get nice looking ones at macy's or go to outlet stores.

Smile more, you look like you came out of a zombie movie.

Change your glasses those make you look like you haven't slept in days.

POSTURE, it looks like your slouching in your pictures. stand up straight, if your shoulders cave in, straighten them back out.

I remember you said you were having hair trouble. I have ok hair except for the fact once it get's too long it turns into a fro cuz its really thick. I like to have longer hair so i just grow it out a little bit and take it to the shop and let the lady either cut it back to normal so i can spike it, or she tells me wuts in these days. If i'm up for something new, i'll let her know she can go change it up.

Grow your hair out first so its long. The longer it is, the more options u have. go somewhere nice and when ur ready for your cut and she ask's you how you want it tell her this. I like my hair long/short but i don't know what to do with it. Any suggestions on what i can do/whats popular.

Don't go to hair cuttery or those chain ones/really cheap ones. Your hair is important and should be considered part of your wardrobe...don't be cheap unless u can get it the way you want for cheap.

Also brush up on some of the bible and AD's post on how to be a mystery. Maybe your giving them too much information instead of letting them find out themselves about who you are.

if you aren't the joe that i thought you were, i apologize for a meaningless post.

 

[Warrior74]

well my typical convesation when meeting them face to face for coffee. is generally
hey how are you doing
hows her job and does she likle it and i tell her about my job and how long i been doing it
travelling where we been and want to go and i ask her how europe was like and different from canada(i live in canada).
hobbies-
prettyu much like asking questions about herself and getting to now her.

Do you look like your pictures? Are they up to date? Showing you in a variety of settings and angles so they can get a good idea of what you really look like? They might see one thing on the photo and another in real life.

How is your vocal tone, is it strong or timid? Your body language? Do you tell your stories with energy? Are you just waiting for your turn to talk or do you really listen? Do you give good eye contact and smile well? Are you giving a boring interview and just asking questions or is there genuine interest behind your eyes? Do you give off a sexual vibe? Are you afraid to joke on her or with her? Do you seem like a fun, positive person? Do you lead the interaction? These are questions only you can anwser. It won't matter where you meet a woman, if you are having these sorts of problems the results are going to be the same.

 

[Colossus]

Ive had mixed results with okcupid---but I will echo what Duffdog said: they tend to be boring, or unattractive.

I have never gone beyond 2 or 3 dates with these girls because I am either not attracted to them or I just dont see it going anywhere. I'm a little surprised you arent hooking up though--I've had NO problem laying any of these girls. I've been considering this recently. Here's what I think:

-The girls I meet up with are 6-7's, sort of a ladder disparity. Most of them seem to be very attracted to me physically. Google ladder theory if you arent familiar.

-At face value, they tend to be rather lonely for a man. Social, but guys arent beating down their door.

-Alcohol is usually involved (moderately).

I've found these girls rather easy to bed (very little effort on my part), but generally uninteresting to me. Personality-wise they are nice enough, not b!tches. In fact if a couple of them were hotter I may have pursued them further.

But, it should be no surprise that the bulk of women online arent very compelling. If the were they would have no use for a dating site. That's life. My advice to you would be to get some mates who arent AFC's, stop spending so much time online, and take up an after-work hobby.

 

[horaholic]

It sounds to me like you're setting up 'job interview' dates. Boring. Coffee dates are horrible. Go get a real drink, if your gonna go that route. Do something fun together, and give her a reason to want to see you again. Online chicks have a hundred guys responding, and probably every guy she meets does the 'dinner and movie' angle. I understand the 'cheapness' factor of the coffee date, but the setting, sucks, and coffee tightens people up, not loosens them, like a stiff drink would. Or, like was discussed in a previous thread on here, if you dont drink, you can still take her to a classy lounge, and order something NA. The atmosphere itself will make her loosen up.

Why not take her for mini golf, or bowling, or go-carts, or something fun, that she will remember? Those arent expensive, and the focus is having fun, and you get to know each other while having it.

 

[COD]

WELL FIRST THINGS FIRST -YOU ARE CLEARLY DOING SOMETHING WRONG.........heres your first HUGE clue so PAY ATTENTION YOU WROTE.........."think the reason could be b/c i also don't have a lot of friends, and i don't go out much, i jsut work and go home or just hang out with these 2 other guy friends who are also lacking in the girl and dating department.
my hobbies are like watching movies off the net, walking, listening to music off the net and before just doing homework and surfing net"

SO we can see that the activities U chose to engage in are in fact COUNTER PRODUCTIVE TO meeting QUALITY WOMEN.

NEXT-I hate to say this but............POF is for bottom feeders. As much people rant and rave about free dating sites, the fact remains that certain paid for dating sites are more successful. Now there are those reading this right now saying they found quality women on POF and other sites suck. I have found that both paid for and free have pros and cons. So I advise U to try another site........DUDE THERES 15OO DATING SITES.

NET DATING IN GENERAL-you are not an online expert thats quite apparent. Net dating should be used as a LAST RESORT as it is a lazy mans way to get dates. If you refuse to day game, WORK ON INNER GAME, goto clubs, social events and want to rely on NET DATING exclusively...........then BECOME AN EXPERT.

Forget all the B.S. people tell you that a good picture rocks, that a cool profile = success. NONE OF THAT MATTERS.,............YA YOU HEARD ME NONE OF THAT MATTERS.........

Making first contact is where its at.............do that EFFECTIVELY, YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO DESIGN KILLER EMAILS THAT MAKE 'EM WANT TO MEET YOU. Whats that mean exactly........well I am talking literally having 3-5 different women OR MORE ready for dates. Think about that for a moment.........5 women a week for a month, thats 20 new chics .........OR MORE. Thats a POSSIBLE REALITY for you if you FINE tune your VIRTUAL APPROACHES.

sounds great but how do I do this: ah looking for the cheat codes.........sorry dude not here, U gotta invest in a LIFE CHANGE to get what U deserve. Are U willing to do what it takes to get what U desire.........it will require a bit of work and FOR THOSE THAT GIVE U A ONE SENTENCE SOLUTION WITH AN EXAMPLE LIKE "JUST SAY THIS"................so UNREALISTIC and generic bandaid solution.

U gotta follow a plan and stick with it and develop your own success story and then U can even help your friends out. TIME FACTOR---I say IF YOU ARE SERIOUS...........30 days to start, 6 months to truly master.

Ask yourself this what are you specifically seeking...........sex, friends with benefits, girlfriend, one night stand with variety of women, IMPROVING YOUR LIFE, seriously write it down as short term goals and long term.

There is so much info overload about becoming a NET PICKUP ARTIST it seems all to easy..........few ever reach master level.

How much is success worth to you, are U willing to spend a little to reap UN-FRICKEN BELIEVABLE RESULTS.

I TRIED many so called net dating programs, made countless mistakes, and have learned a ton of what matters and whats just sounds good but rarely amounts to anything. I am still learning after 6 years.

Net dating is just a tiny spec of seducing women, inner game, phone game, speed dating, verbal skills, body language, confidence boosters, negotiating and persuasion, avatar, and soooooooooo much more.

Your choice.........keep on doing it by yourself, trial and error or enlist someone that actually has done it before, knows all the time wasters. U can try to sort thru all the contradicting posts on here..........I think theres like 1000 posts or more on online dating..........most of which is non sense.

NEXT QUESTION-are U even ready for a life change and can U handle it?

 

[Mr. Me]

Joe, I've got nothing to sell you.

But skimming through several of your past posts, I'm getting the sense that you simply don't have any game. That and your appearance may need improving some. But it's not because of your car, your job or your height, or because you're Chinese, as you've considered it may be those in your other posts. I say it's game.

I say it's game because going up to girls in libraries is fine but opening them by asking where the comic books are... you're telling them you're a nerd!

I say it's game because asking what their job is, telling them about yours... that's mundane and boring.

I say it's game because you'd consider going out "as friends" and that's not the vibe to give.

I say it's game because you'd ask an uninterested woman to become "official" with you.

Etcetera. You need to work on yourself. Find some guys where you are that are good with women, hang with them and absorb. See if they're a PUA meetup group near you, perhaps.

 

[Warrior74]

Joe, I've got nothing to sell you.

But skimming through several of your past posts, I'm getting the sense that you simply don't have any game. That and your appearance may need improving some. But it's not because of your car, your job or your height, or because you're Chinese, as you've considered it may be those in your other posts. I say it's game.

I say it's game because going up to girls in libraries is fine but opening them by asking where the comic books are... you're telling them you're a nerd!

I say it's game because asking what their job is, telling them about yours... that's mundane and boring.

I say it's game because you'd consider going out "as friends" and that's not the vibe to give.

I say it's game because you'd ask an uninterested woman to become "official" with you.

Etcetera. You need to work on yourself. Find some guys where you are that are good with women, hang with them and absorb. See if they're a PUA meetup group near you, perhaps.

Yah. That's pretty much it in a nutshell. The posts about getting lifts in shoes, his receeding hairline....he just needs to do basic self improvement 101.