No kiss on first date, but body language was positive

[captain55]

Met some chick I met online today. Usually Im pretty good with reading body language, after the movie I do what I always do on every date. Ill slowly start getting physical and start grabbing her ass, if she doesn't push me away Ill go for the kiss close. . I was even smacking it a couple times etc. went for the kiss and she turns away and goes "too soon" \

Normally I would never make a thread like this over some girl but this one is one that comes along every 3-4 months after hard plate spinning. First girl I felt EXTREMELY attracted to in a while Im not going to lie. .

She told me " hit me up later" but Iwe all know what that means.

not really asking for advice just ranting, wanted this one beyond badly fellas. fml

 

[yeahbuddy14]

Met some chick I met online today. Usually Im pretty good with reading body language, after the movie I do what I always do on every date. Ill slowly start getting physical and start grabbing her ass, if she doesn't push me away Ill go for the kiss close. . I was even smacking it a couple times etc. went for the kiss and she turns away and goes "too soon" \

Normally I would never make a thread like this over some girl but this one is one that comes along every 3-4 months after hard plate spinning. First girl I felt EXTREMELY attracted to in a while Im not going to lie. .

She told me " hit me up later" but we all know what that means.

not really asking for advice just ranting, wanted this one beyond badly fellas. fml

Go out with her more, don't be too available and escalate but don't be pushy, you didn't fail and you weren't rejected captain55, she sounds like it she wants to take things slow, I might be wrong but her saying "too soon" is a not a No, how did she say it, was she coy about it?, serious?

 

[LMFAO]

Kissing is not always on on the first date, depends on the chemistry and the girl. If you just want to smash and forget her she might be a bit of work, if you're looking for something more serious/willing to be patient ask her out again in a couple of days and see how it goes.

I personally don't bother with the "too soon" stuff, it's BS and delete their number unless they're really hot. I don't have time for their stupid games. That's just me though. She may or may not be interested, but a lot of the time it's just a flake and she's just being polite.

I went out with an online girl last night, we held hands within an hour, kissed her in the bar several times. Tried to go back to hers (but she had a house mate and said was uncomfortable) and kissed and fingered her before taking train home.

You should try to avoid the awkwardness of going for the kiss and her backing off. Try to sense her buying temperature. Touch her hair and see how she responds (if she asks why just say she has a hair there), possibly hold her hand as well beforehand. Some of the top guys like RSD Todd don't always kiss in a bar and wait to get a girl home, sometimes (rarely though) he doesn't kiss on the first date at all but only when he can sense that she's really being uptight and she's not responding too strongly to the push-pull.

 

[captain55]

Kissing is not always on on the first date, depends on the chemistry and the girl. If you just want to smash and forget her she might be a bit of work, if you're looking for something more serious/willing to be patient ask her out again in a couple of days and see how it goes.

I personally don't bother with the "too soon" stuff, it's BS and delete their number unless they're really hot. I don't have time for their stupid games. That's just me though. She may or may not be interested, but a lot of the time it's just a flake and she's just being polite.

I went out with an online girl last night, we held hands within an hour, kissed her in the bar several times. Tried to go back to hers (but she had a house mate and said was uncomfortable) and kissed and fingered her before taking train home.

You should try to avoid the awkwardness of going for the kiss and her backing off. Try to sense her buying temperature. Touch her hair and see how she responds (if she asks why just say she has a hair there), possibly hold her hand as well beforehand. Some of the top guys like RSD Todd don't always kiss in a bar and wait to get a girl home, sometimes (rarely though) he doesn't kiss on the first date at all but only when he can sense that she's really being uptight and she's not responding too strongly to the push-pull.

I hear you brother, like you and most guys on here Ive done this 1000 times... my style is aggressive like yourself and in order to avoid looking like a fool when this is your style you need to get real ****ing good at reading body language. Every now and then you **** up though....her body language was all positive, all over her in the parking lot playing with that booty but get the head turn at the end.

 

[captain55]

She just texted me "thanks again I had a good time. Even though we barely got to talk". Yeah ***** is probably just bring polite I doubt I'll see her again after that text

 

[saberu]

captain55 you are wrong. Not all girls kiss on a first date and it's likely she is looking for something serious and wants to take it slow. She said 'we barely got to talk' if that isn't the most obvious hint then I don't know what is.

She wants you to get to know her a little more, ask her questions make it look like you are interested. If you are serious about this girl it will be worth it.

Her behavior is natural for a girl who wants to weed out guys looking for a one night stand, were you?

Honestly man saying you won't see her again sounds very unconfident and alpha to me and calling her a b!tch is just disrespectful she seems nice to me.

 

[pyros]

another case of DJ overdose...

First, I dont get why you would grab a girl's ass in a FIRST DATE, unless you want to look like a rapist.

Second, why the heck do you go to the movies on a FIRST DATE??

Third, it seems she HAD A GOOD TIME WITH YOU (this may be cause you barely talk...), so ask her out again you dumbass.

 

[LMFAO]

Yes that message does say she's interested, i.e. she wants to see you again and talk more. You'll get a kiss on the second date most definitely you just need to make her feel comfortable. It's a girl which requires a bit more work perhaps.

Pyros is right it's best to avoid the cinema for first, second or third dates. You can't talk to her, and very little possibility of escalation there. Perhaps afterwards if you manage to bounce her somewhere else but it's unnecessarily complicated. Best is the bar scene with some alcohol and sitting next to her and flirtatious lines.

If she's hot enough take her out for some drinks on the second date and see how far you get.

An arse grab and more can easily be on on a first date if things are going right.

 

[salinechow]

Hey Captian! I am real encouraged to hear you are tuning into body launguage to help facilitate your interactions. I was hoping for you to expand on this since it seems such a useful tool for you. Also, I was wondering if after you break it down would my comments be welcomed regarding it.

Now, I am not going to get all philosofical and long winded like I always do. I am just going to remind everyone, including myself, and I am pretty sure something hinting at this in the DJ bible like 16 times;

Every girl is different and a new adventure(conquest to some).

You cannot use the same map to hike a differrent trail.

I wouldnt get frustrated(I know, only slightly) that your mastered style didnt work out in this particular case. That happens. Have to be fluidlike. Flexible.

The rising tide raises all ships, but sinks those that are anchored.

Look, you seem to have alot of this stuff down already, I am not talking at you, just reminding you.

I would definitely take this girl out again. I would obviously use the knowledge of that night to readjust. Seems like you like her and that you found a little chemistry. Just play off that if you can get her out again. I think you can.

I am with pyros here, get back in the lab and readjust the DJ levels just a hint.

Check back in with us and let us know what her morning breath smells like :yes:

 

[captain55]

Hey Captian! I am real encouraged to hear you are tuning into body launguage to help facilitate your interactions. I was hoping for you to expand on this since it seems such a useful tool for you. Also, I was wondering if after you break it down would my comments be welcomed regarding it.

Now, I am not going to get all philosofical and long winded like I always do. I am just going to remind everyone, including myself, and I am pretty sure something hinting at this in the DJ bible like 16 times;

Every girl is different and a new adventure(conquest to some).

You cannot use the same map to hike a differrent trail.

I wouldnt get frustrated(I know, only slightly) that your mastered style didnt work out in this particular case. That happens. Have to be fluidlike. Flexible.

The rising tide raises all ships, but sinks those that are anchored.

Look, you seem to have alot of this stuff down already, I am not talking at you, just reminding you.

I would definitely take this girl out again. I would obviously use the knowledge of that night to readjust. Seems like you like her and that you found a little chemistry. Just play off that if you can get her out again. I think you can.

I am with pyros here, get back in the lab and readjust the DJ levels just a hint.

Check back in with us and let us know what her morning breath smells like :yes:

Well she's been texting me all morning and asked when do I get to see you again so my gut instincts were right I guess. To answer your question there are a couple things that I have learned over the years. I make sure when I meet a girl Im never sitting down, if Im in a restaurant or coffee shop I always make sure I walk outside the place and meet her. I set the tone of the date, big and tall chest out chin up not scrunched up in some ****ing chair will I get up to give her some bull**** hug or handshake. This projects confidence and sets the tone of the date.

The second thing I do usually later on in the date when Im gauging her IL is look for her mirroring my body language. I'll scratch a part of my face, or adjust my seat,.....if she does the same she's slightly nervous which is a good sign.

Despite what many guys say lack of eye contact and her being quiet are NOT always signs of low IL. I would say the opposite, the few dates Ive had where the girl told me there was no spark or chemistry were the women who made the most eye contact and talked the most.

 

[captain55]

Yes that message does say she's interested, i.e. she wants to see you again and talk more. You'll get a kiss on the second date most definitely you just need to make her feel comfortable. It's a girl which requires a bit more work perhaps.

Pyros is right it's best to avoid the cinema for first, second or third dates. You can't talk to her, and very little possibility of escalation there. Perhaps afterwards if you manage to bounce her somewhere else but it's unnecessarily complicated. Best is the bar scene with some alcohol and sitting next to her and flirtatious lines.

If she's hot enough take her out for some drinks on the second date and see how far you get.

An arse grab and more can easily be on on a first date if things are going right.

I hope so bro this is the first girl Ive felt some kind of spark with in months and , you remember how bad I got burned by my borderline ex. This new girl I sense is a bit skittish, I actually think she might dip if I ask her out for drinks. She's pushing me to go hiking with her which Im really not a fan of for a 2nd date, especially with a chick I haven't even gotten physical with yet.

 

[LMFAO]

I hope so bro this is the first girl Ive felt some kind of spark with in months and , you remember how bad I got burned by my borderline ex. This new girl I sense is a bit skittish, I actually think she might dip if I ask her out for drinks. She's pushing me to go hiking with her which Im really not a fan of for a 2nd date, especially with a chick I haven't even gotten physical with yet.

The funny thing is Todd Valentine did the exact same thing with a girl he couldn't kiss (I'm subscribed to some of his online products the guy is excellent, he even has videos of his live dates). He went out with some Russian girl two months back and proposes hiking with her somewhere nearby as a fun activity for a second date. I've never done it myself but I don't think it's necessarily a bad idea. I'm not a fan of it only for the fact that it's a little too complicated. You can always leave it open with her to a later date and just go out with her to a normal date to either a bar or a pool place with drinks that's what I would do.

 

[Tictac]

Some women have ****amamie 'rules' that they follow. It they're not ridiculous and you like the woman, play along..... for a while.

 

[Trump]

Met some chick I met online today. Usually Im pretty good with reading body language, after the movie I do what I always do on every date. Ill slowly start getting physical and start grabbing her ass, if she doesn't push me away Ill go for the kiss close. . I was even smacking it a couple times etc. went for the kiss and she turns away and goes "too soon" \

"Too soon" is a trap statement. Who said when she is ready you'll be unattached and available? Could take her 17 dates before she's decides she is "ready".

Plus, she's OK with you touching her body, but not her lips? Something is off.

Maybe I'm too cynical, but I don't think girls online are looking for a long term deep relationship based on love and trust.

:trouble:

 

[asa_don]

get some new prospects and see if she will have another date, she's not the only girl online

Maybe I'm too cynical, but I don't think girls online are looking for a long term deep relationship based on love and trust.

:trouble:

i wouldn't go looking for online girls to have a relationship with, nearly all of them are not relationship material, eveyone i know who had a relationship from online had the worst experience.

 

[LMFAO]

get some new prospects and see if she will have another date, she's not the only girl online

i wouldn't go looking for online girls to have a relationship with, nearly all of them are not relationship material, eveyone i know who had a relationship from online had the worst experience.

Agreed for the most part.

You can usually get hotter girls for LTRs via social circle than on online, and you have much more in common with them usually, such as through friends or work. There are always exceptions of course. The problem with online is that you just don't know whether she's going to flake even after kissing or even fingering her on the first date. The flaking over there is through the roof, she just sees you as another virtual guy she happened to meet once, but she has 30 other guys to meet potentially at any one time from there.

I've had girls from online seeing me as a potential future husband as well, which means they wouldn't have sex for even 4 dates and drag it out for me to invest as much as possible - the irony is that yes I invest more time in them and have less time for other girls but it also turns you off them massively for making you go through the sh!t and think what else she'll try to get you to do in the future. Even when you play the lover and not provider role you sometimes get swept into this category in some girls' eyes.

Other girls have been up for an@l sex within an hour of meeting them. My latest one I have booked to go to a hotel on Saturday, I have made it clear to her we're going to drink at the hotel bar and maybe chill a bit in the hotel room afterwards. She seemed pretty up for it.

Overall online is a great platform for fvck buddies, and a really difficult platform to build anything more serious with. It is so good for fvck buddies that if you know how to build attraction and even with 6/10 looks you should be pretty good to go with continuous incoming plates.

 

[captain55]

"Too soon" is a trap statement. Who said when she is ready you'll be unattached and available? Could take her 17 dates before she's decides she is "ready".

Plus, she's OK with you touching her body, but not her lips? Something is off.

Maybe I'm too cynical, but I don't think girls online are looking for a long term deep relationship based on love and trust.

:trouble:

I agree with you. I was however fortunate with this one, she deleted her online date profile a day before she went out with me after being on there for a few months which puts me at a huge advantage. They've given up all hope on finding a relationship but you just happen to come along and they're so desperate to get into a relationship lol

The only successful LTR I had with a POF chick was one who deleted her profile about a week before she met up with me, for the most part I agree POF is garbage I rarely use it unless I see a rare needle in the haystack like this one might be, not sure yet though Ill keep you guys updated

 

[captain55]

"Too soon" is a trap statement. Who said when she is ready you'll be unattached and available? Could take her 17 dates before she's decides she is "ready".

Plus, she's OK with you touching her body, but not her lips? Something is off.

Maybe I'm too cynical, but I don't think girls online are looking for a long term deep relationship based on love and trust.

:trouble:

Yeah really weird. Im leaning towards possible BPD.....she told me she doesn't really have any friends, and I got a couple of " what are you doing " texts,,,,three or four actually on the day I was first meeting up with her before the first date. I Felt like she was somewhat attached to me before the date even happened, this is exactly the way my borderline ex acted prior to meeting me on the first date, felt like she already made up in her mind she was going to get in a relationship with me. Borderlines are amazing in bed though so Im kind of hoping she is one lol

 

[captain55]

Update

So guys we've gone out four or five times now and Ive already banged her twice. Now you guys KNOW how excited I was about this girl, I should be jumping out of my char right now that she's dating me.......after the second date I was so excited I couldn't stop thinking about her all day, I found her incredibly sexy.

But it seems like after the third date I just don't like her that much. I've never "lost attraction " with a girl this quick before EVER and Im starting to think my past BPD relationship is the culprit.

She has her **** together, she's sexy, she likes me a lot I should be the happiest guy around right now but Im finding it hard to even text her back. What's wrong with me?

 

[salinechow]

Its the chase. She gave it up to soon(not necessarily the p^ss but her affection and her time. If she ghosts on you for any reason you’ll be crawling your walls. Its simple psychology. Sad but true. Spend less time together. If you really like her, overcome it. It will pass. What’s goes that high up must go equally far down, then you level off and start to like her for what she is not. If you indeed find you like her.