No initiative on her part

[ScrewIt]

Maybe she's the shy type??

shy types tend to be less initiative. she probably has the old fashioned mindset of guys making all the initiative and for them to sweep them off their feet??

if she is the shy type, then this explains everything. girls who dont feel for you usually wont accept your offers or flake on you.
but she's different, she is accepting them.

 

[Dukester]

i can tell you all about the shy type ScrewIt. I dunno if you read my threads about it, but I am now dating a shy girl. She's not too shy n e more, but she still has those tendancies. So she tends not to be very outgoing and assertive.
but she's getting there. like i told skinnydart earlier, he just needs to give it some time, and let her open up.

 

[crotchrocket]

As inviting as it may be, trying to be a 'savior' of a girl we perceive to be in need of such a thing is a trap, a one way street. Intentionally or not this type of girl is the ultimate man-manipulator, she uses this shy-girl/damsel-in-distress persona to fool us into believing "she's not coercing me into chasing her no I'm choosing to do it myself". Everyone of my buddy's that married this type of girl is now majorly pu$$y-whipped, and I for one am not interested in any relationship like that.

I can bet that any of us that have ever chased a shy girl, have thought things like; "I can see some awesome potential there if I can just get her to open up". I have witnessed it myself many times, someone that I knew to be shy opened up almost immediately when she met a guy that was right for her, kinda pisses me off when I see it actually, like all along I was trying to pick the lock while someone else had the key.

I agree with the TallOne, it's not worth it! And unless your name happens to be Jesus, trying to be a savior is just a waste of your precious time because you're likely never going to see the reward you were hoping for.

But hey, each to his own!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

You guys just don't know the secret about "shy girls." I've come across several just to find out that they are animals. I'm seeing two self professed shy girls now who have both told me the same thing; "I can't believe that I'm doing this!" or "I never thought I could ever do anything like this, but I'm enjoying it because you give me permission to do it."

And that my friends is the secret about "shy women."

 

[Luveno]

Skinnydart,

From what I gather, you have a problem with this girl not calling you.

Man, a lot of guys wish that their girls would just stop calling. You don't know how good you got it man...

,...anyway, back on topic. Last time I checked, it was the man who did the initiating of meeting - who is in CONTROL!

Don't be concerned about her not calling you, especially since you've only known her for a short time. What you SHOULD be concerned about is how she acts on these dates, and if you're getting any sexual action. Tell us those things, and we will be able to give you more accurate advice on what you should do about this chick.

 

[DeathDealer]

Originally posted by Dukester
relationships, you dont want them to be 50/50.

It's kinda weird, but you want it to be 80/20. You give 80% and recieve 20%. BUT she does the same, gives 80% and receives 20%.
I know the math doesnt add up, but for a happy successful relationship it should be 80/20 on both sides.
Hope that makes sense

Do you understand math? If it's 80/20 on both sides one from me and one from her giving giving giving. Isn't that 50/50?

OKAY, there are guys out there that enjoy doing 75% of all the work while the other 25% is for her to say yes to dates, return calls, and open her legs.

THAT'S FINE. I LIKE 50/50. Other guys like to be pampered with 25/75%

I'm talking about WHAT YOU as a PERSON want. I don't care how other people have relationships where a guy does all the calling, pays for everything, picks her up all the time, and never asks the girl for anything.

I like to lead the charge to setup dates but will openly ask the girl to create a weekend date plan or whatever if she doesn't take the initiative. I do not like to pay for everything, if I do it'll be inexpensive dates cause I care about my financial future and not like other guys out there that are willing to spend 50% of their paycheck on dates. If the girl has a problem with that, she's gone.

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.

 

[skinnydart]

Man, a lot of guys wish that their girls would just stop calling.

Huh, never thought of it that way. I guess since I have never had a girlfriend anyway I've never had to worry about that.

I'll just give it some more time. Normally I would probably just say that she's not worth it, but I have the same shy/quiet personality so in a way I feel that I can relate to her more.

 

[Ricky]

This is pretty interesting because my new girl is a bit like this.

Says yes to all the dates and e-mails me alot but rarely calls.

Oh well.

I think I am overreacting because my ex called me 3 times a day and would talk my head off.

It's a big change.

 

[skinnydart]

BTW: called her and asked her to go to a play with me Friday (3rd date). She said she wanted to but had to work that night but maybe next week. She said she'll get her schedule sometime that weekend and call me. I never got a return call as of today so I called and left a vm saying "u going to be free this Friday... give me a call".

I don't know what's up, nothing has changed between us from the time she said she liked plays and wanted to go until now. She's been on aim so I know she's here but I stay hidden because I don't really want to talk to her through that since I already left a message.

Should I just forget about it now?

 

[true|hockey]

I am kind of seeing a girl who fits this catigory as well. The few outings we have had went well, and a follow up meeting was easy to make. however, it seems that she has 0 initiative. I have only been "seeing" her for about a week or so, but it feels as it I am becoming disconnected somehow.

I guess my question is should I be weary of low interest levels, or continue to pursue. the only fear of pursuit is that it will come off as desperation after some tries. Whats the point of wasting time on this if I can start scouting other prospects?