ipeefreely said:
Just a little update:
It's been almost 2 weeks but anyways lately I find out that her friend (the one who came along to the club with us) thinks that I'm a total sleeze bag for what I did with her friend that night and has been deliberately **** blocking me (to the point where she would get mad at the girl for speaking to me).
I know that I'm not the type of guy to play women or even do grimey things in public.. not to mention finger ****ing a girl in the car while her friend drives us home =P I also know I'm not the type of guy to give into people who I believe have done me wrong BUT i had to admit... what I did was a bit inappropriate, especially when her friend stayed sober to drive us home.
So i apologized. There wasn't any flowers involved or tears... just a quick message on facebook. A few factors went into this decision:
1. What I did was inappropriate, especially in the presence of friends. (Reversing the situation, I wouldn't like to witness my buddy getting a blow job while I drove his drunk ass home. I would high five him for getting one but I wouldn't want to be around WHILE he is getting one)
2. She has been COMPLETELY **** blocking me... to the point where she is putting her friendship on the line.
3. I know I'm not that type of guy and I figured an apology would present an opporunity for me to reveal my sincere intentions and to vindicate my name (I just got cheated on recently so i hate the fact that these girls think I'm a cheater)
4. If she was **** blocking me, this thing is dead in the water. While it's a long shot, my apology would cast doubt in her mind or maybe even get her to back off the situation... give it a chance. Whatever.
On the same day, I also sent a very brief message to the girl telling her that her clothes were are my place and that if there was somewhere I could drop them off at, that'd be great.
Ah the c0ck block from her jealous female friend. If guys only knew how much the c0ck block from a girl's friends, social circle and sometimes other random people in in the vicinity can be a factor in losing a girl they'd be shocked.
I don't think you did anything wrong on that night. The onus was on the girl to move your hand away, and the onus was on the friend to not be a busy body and to give her friend some privacy. I think you shouldn't have apologized. I think you played right into the c0ck block and let her jealous friend browbeat and beta you into acting like a nice guy. This is the aim of the c0ck block to beta a guy.
It's a tough situation because the girl is going to side with the friend, so how you should've responded is a little tricky, but I think apologizing and admiting you were wrong was not the way to go. I would've said something along the lines to girl, "We got caught up in the moment and were drinking, but your friend sure is being uptight and nosy..". Basically don't accept any blame and make the friend to look in the wrong in a sly subtle way. Heck I would probably reversed the frame and acted like it is preposterous that you did anything wrong and that you are slightly offended, but you can't trash the friend too much.
But the truth is when you have a girl who has a b!tch friend and she is willing to listen to her without giving you a chance, maybe you are ahead to just next this girl. This is my opinion and maybe being the nice guy will work for you.
