I really wonder. Im getting tired of not having a significant other so to speak. actually the last time I had a sort of steady girlfriend was 3 years ago, the summer I was about to pass to 10th grade in a new school. I was 16. Now I am 19.
now Im out of 12th. finished high school and I am going to take a year off before college. now college in my counrty isnt like on the states. we dont go off somplace far away from home. we stay at home with our families and go to colleges located on our cities.
I have been thinking about that summer 3 years ago and how good it all was. the thing I had with that girl was pretty cool.
we hung out, we talked, we wanted to **** each other (though I never did even though she literally begged me - didnt feel right at the moment and I trusted my gut but at times regret that) and we basically had a nice time.
she cared about me and gave me special attention and enjoyed my company and was good to me. those were great days.
my life now a days just seems so methodical. go to the gym, play the guitar, go to your singing lessons, write, eat right, practice french, read more, try to get dates and numbers, etc.
dont get me wrong, I enjoy all of those activities but by doing them I barely have time for anything else.
back then it seemed like I had no cares. days seemed to last forever, now hours go by faster than I can breath.
my summer does not feel like a summer at all.
the thing I had with this girl, I need to find something like that.
a healthy relationship. I think my mental health depends on this.
being "single" for such a long time made me forgot what its like to have a girl care about you and be proud about dating you.
lately I have noticed that I am starting to get short tempered for small periods of time more and more often. agressive and angry.
I do a lot of excersise but apparently not enough to release all this internal energy that has started to manifest itself.
I think it has to do something with:
- lack of sex and sexual activity. the last time I felt what it was like having a girls completely naked body pressed against mine was 3 summers ago. since her I have kissed about 20 girls but have not gotten past making out or taking the tops off a few of them.
- lack of company. sure I have buddies and people I hang out with and know a lot of people since Im very social, but I dont have girl that cares about my well being or how I am doing, or people that actually care wether I hang out with them or not.
- lack of success when it comes to dating. Im getting tired of getting all this numbers with girls who dont want to date me. from the ones that actually go out on dates with me none so far have had enough interest level to build up something cool with me. the last one, we went out on 3 dates, we even kissed a couple of times. said shed call me a week ago and havent heard from her. not enough interest level I presume. most of all Im tired of all the rejection involved, not because I fear it (at least not significantly as I did in the past) but because I do not understand why such a great catch as myself is having such a hard time finding one nice girl that is intereted in dating me and who is LTR potential. I am not overly picky either. Im pretty down to earth myself.
I miss that feeling I had 3 summers ago. not the chick if anyone is thinking that. the feeling. that feeling where you know someone other than your family actually cares and thinks about you.
that feeling where you know that a girl you find attractive finds you so attractive and appealing she actually wants to have sex with you. that feeling when everything is at peace within and you can do anything, even the dullest thing, and have a nice time doing it because you share the company of a cute girl to whom you are special.
I miss that so much. such good days back then. everything seemed so spontaneaus. so new as well.
after 3 years of not having this and seeing other people obtain it so easily, you really start to wonder how much longer can you take before you go crazy. I need to remember what its like.
but its very hard to find a girl with high interest level. especially one that I like.
what am I to do? each day that passes it seems harder to accept the notion that there are no prospects for this.
that all the girls I have approached so far have just played me.
who could believe that a guy like me, good looking, fit, intelligent, pleasent, talented, interesting, fun and with all the knowledge and tools sosuave, doc loves system, and other respources have given me would have such a hard time finding a girl that is interested enough in him to actaully wanting to spend time with him? I still cant believe it.
the thing that is killing me is how much I think about the past lately. it gets me quite melancolic.
now Im apparently much more in track concerning my goals and my self improvment (which I work on everyday) but still I can t help but feel nostalgic. I dont think I can be without that for much longer. I crave it. the time when once again a girl just hangs out to enjoy the pleasure of my company, and finds me attractive enough to want to have sex with me, and cares and thinks about me and my life and is proud to be seen with you walking on the street because she knows she has a great catch.
she appreciates you for the unique human being that you are and isnt afraid to show it.
what can I do? how can I obtain this once again? where can I start? whats the best way to go about the lack of this without going crazy after 3 years of nothing?
now Im out of 12th. finished high school and I am going to take a year off before college. now college in my counrty isnt like on the states. we dont go off somplace far away from home. we stay at home with our families and go to colleges located on our cities.
I have been thinking about that summer 3 years ago and how good it all was. the thing I had with that girl was pretty cool.
we hung out, we talked, we wanted to **** each other (though I never did even though she literally begged me - didnt feel right at the moment and I trusted my gut but at times regret that) and we basically had a nice time.
she cared about me and gave me special attention and enjoyed my company and was good to me. those were great days.
my life now a days just seems so methodical. go to the gym, play the guitar, go to your singing lessons, write, eat right, practice french, read more, try to get dates and numbers, etc.
dont get me wrong, I enjoy all of those activities but by doing them I barely have time for anything else.
back then it seemed like I had no cares. days seemed to last forever, now hours go by faster than I can breath.
my summer does not feel like a summer at all.
the thing I had with this girl, I need to find something like that.
a healthy relationship. I think my mental health depends on this.
being "single" for such a long time made me forgot what its like to have a girl care about you and be proud about dating you.
lately I have noticed that I am starting to get short tempered for small periods of time more and more often. agressive and angry.
I do a lot of excersise but apparently not enough to release all this internal energy that has started to manifest itself.
I think it has to do something with:
- lack of sex and sexual activity. the last time I felt what it was like having a girls completely naked body pressed against mine was 3 summers ago. since her I have kissed about 20 girls but have not gotten past making out or taking the tops off a few of them.
- lack of company. sure I have buddies and people I hang out with and know a lot of people since Im very social, but I dont have girl that cares about my well being or how I am doing, or people that actually care wether I hang out with them or not.
- lack of success when it comes to dating. Im getting tired of getting all this numbers with girls who dont want to date me. from the ones that actually go out on dates with me none so far have had enough interest level to build up something cool with me. the last one, we went out on 3 dates, we even kissed a couple of times. said shed call me a week ago and havent heard from her. not enough interest level I presume. most of all Im tired of all the rejection involved, not because I fear it (at least not significantly as I did in the past) but because I do not understand why such a great catch as myself is having such a hard time finding one nice girl that is intereted in dating me and who is LTR potential. I am not overly picky either. Im pretty down to earth myself.
I miss that feeling I had 3 summers ago. not the chick if anyone is thinking that. the feeling. that feeling where you know someone other than your family actually cares and thinks about you.
that feeling where you know that a girl you find attractive finds you so attractive and appealing she actually wants to have sex with you. that feeling when everything is at peace within and you can do anything, even the dullest thing, and have a nice time doing it because you share the company of a cute girl to whom you are special.
I miss that so much. such good days back then. everything seemed so spontaneaus. so new as well.
after 3 years of not having this and seeing other people obtain it so easily, you really start to wonder how much longer can you take before you go crazy. I need to remember what its like.
but its very hard to find a girl with high interest level. especially one that I like.
what am I to do? each day that passes it seems harder to accept the notion that there are no prospects for this.
that all the girls I have approached so far have just played me.
who could believe that a guy like me, good looking, fit, intelligent, pleasent, talented, interesting, fun and with all the knowledge and tools sosuave, doc loves system, and other respources have given me would have such a hard time finding a girl that is interested enough in him to actaully wanting to spend time with him? I still cant believe it.
the thing that is killing me is how much I think about the past lately. it gets me quite melancolic.
now Im apparently much more in track concerning my goals and my self improvment (which I work on everyday) but still I can t help but feel nostalgic. I dont think I can be without that for much longer. I crave it. the time when once again a girl just hangs out to enjoy the pleasure of my company, and finds me attractive enough to want to have sex with me, and cares and thinks about me and my life and is proud to be seen with you walking on the street because she knows she has a great catch.
she appreciates you for the unique human being that you are and isnt afraid to show it.
what can I do? how can I obtain this once again? where can I start? whats the best way to go about the lack of this without going crazy after 3 years of nothing?