No friends at all, but want women in my life! Does Pickup work?

[eldominante]

I'm 28 (since yesterday ), have totally no friends although I have been trying all my life to get some, but I have social skills. Although the topics I'd like to talk about are not what others wanna talk about. So I don't have social intuition. But I only talk if it is needed. Newly I'm trying to even approach strangers, but it doesn't always go well.
I can talk about anything but can't connect with anyone. I'm introverted. Maybe I should go with Don Juan Bootcamp. But how far would I come without friends? There are 1-2 guys with whom I can talk here and there but only on phone. Yeah, I'm a bit fat, but it shouldn't be a problem for people I think. I thought it is about personality not about physical appearance.
Although my humor is only funny for me. One or 2 people force themselves to smile about my jokes. However, I'm happy with myself and with my humor. The question is: Where to start now? No friends, don't go to night clubs. Where and how to approach women else?

I can approach some people, can interest me for them, but they aren't interested in me. Whenever they talk to me, it goes so long, til they needed for me. In uni, people didn't have contact with me after they have used me for some exams.

I am totally confident, but I don't kiss anyone's ass. Others kiss the ass of other so they can learn together. But I'm not alike.

Whenever I ask or propose others meeting outside in free time, they come with excuses. Funny, I can look in the future, even before they answered my question!

All in all, I can live alone as well. But if it is about women, I have heard that women just go for group leader as Mystery Method tells. In city malls, guys are there with their friends and approach women and so on. I'd be the only one approaching. Can I do it alone as well?

I mean, I see some other guys how they act cool and girls laugh with them. I couldn't make girls laugh with me and wanna share their time with me. I don't know how to make it.

It seems that I wouldn't be cool enough for people to enjoy time with me. There is only one person who says he would like my persona how I am and so on. Although I don't joke around with him, but we talk about anything.
Else, girls tend to go with cool guys and I seem not to be such a cool guy. Once, a guy asked me, what I would think why nobody wouldn't be interested in passing time with me. He was aiming telling me that I would do anything wrong but didn't tell me what.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

I would imagine it is possible

 

[eldominante]

What is possible and how realizeable? Your response was too short.

With which roadmap should I do the step by step program to get it done?

 

[MOTU]

OP, I highly recommend you reading "The Rational Male". You can find it at the website by the same name.

One of the central themes is that personality is maleable and that "just be yourself" is a poor strategy.

That being said, you might consider taking up a group hobby: play a team sport (softball, bowling, whatever) or join a hobby club for whatever interests you (bird watching, motorcycles, whatever). You could also attend a church that has a singles group. These things will broaden your social circle and build your social skills.

 

[eldominante]

I found the website The Rational Male, but not the book.
So, it is not enough to be myself and being happy with myself. Therefore I'm reading "The Popular Club".

Doing group sports? Can do it. Bird watching is here not available. But I was going to sign up for ju jiutsu. Group sports could be racket ball or baseball or even football. I live in Europe (don't know why americans like Europe)

No, I could talk with other guys there, but there I would fail at connecting as well. What about the part with women? Should I go with mystery method? Venusian Arts member praise for it. Some others praise for Mark Manson. But therefore you need the right kind of conversational topics.

 

[zekko]

I don't personally think that any particular method is flawless or the real answer. I think that what is important is that you pick one, or take elements of several, or whatever it is that you can convince yourself to believe in, and get out there and put it into practice. Ultimately, it will be putting yourself out there, your experiences, and what you learn in real interactions that will make you a success or not.

You ask does pickup work? Well, not really. Well, yes, sort of. Parts of it. It's more like you have to make it work, or you make it fail. IMO.

 

[eldominante]

@zekko: You wanna tell me that the first thing I should do is to get into field and start getting social with women. You are right. But in your opinion, the several methods don't work for the long run?
The same did Mark Manson say and told to use your inner game.

So, I should ditch the Don Juan BootCamp or Book of Pook?

 

[Albatross953]

I'd say be social with EVERYONE. If you can't do that, you can't do daygame.

 

[sodbuster]

start with the tellers in the grocery store.... Talk to everyone for a minute or so. Broaden your interests.... You can still like the stuff no one else does. BUT you need to be able to talk to the "sheeple" about Tv, sports, etc.

 

[zekko]

So, I should ditch the Don Juan BootCamp or Book of Pook?

No, by all means read it. And you actually sound like a fellow who could benefit from going through the bootcamp.

What I meant was don't get so absorbed with theory and reading pickup material that you don't get out in the field and practice, because that's where the real progress is made. In other words, don't be a keyboard jockey.

When checking out a pickup method, there are certain general principles that are important. While a lot of the rest of it is merely window dressing. And what works for one fellow may not work for another. You have to find what works for you. Nobody has a magic pill that will make women attracted to you. You have to go out and make it happen, that's what I'm saying.

If you're interested in inner game, RSD has a lot of interesting material.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

"The Flow" by Dan Bacon is a great book, haven't finished it yet though

 

[evan12]

You have kind of same my personality and If you dont have friends then the only way to reach women is cold approach . women later will ask you if you have any friends , if you dont have your value will go lower , but it is not a dealer breaker if you have other qualifications .

 

[evan12]

"The Flow" by Dan Bacon is a great book, haven't finished it yet though

Do you know where I can download it ?

 

[latinnova]

Just do it, seriously. Go out and talk to ladies. Easiest was is to this Is it a bar that is not crowded with a female bartender (chilies, ocharleys, etc..) and the bartender will usually talk to u, no problem. Now they are doing this to get a nice tip from you, but at least you get actual field time and are able to simply speak. Do not hit on them, just simply talk to them and find out about them. Once they get going they don't shut up.

 

[eldominante]

My Main Problem is that I was used to approach ladies in daytime cause I feel very tired in night games. But now women have already a mate and are talking consequently with them. So I have no possibility to approach women in daytime. I am forced to get active in night Clubs. Otherwise I have no other opportunity. I don't fear of night game but I Fell asleep there. It has happened several times that I was getting physically weak. Once I was dancing with a HB10 and I was falling asleep AS well.

Years ago I had all everywhere the possibility to approach. Now I haven't. But now I can at least ask opinion openers to a group of women.

 

[Demonpenz]

I tried everything. There is no simple fix. Keep working 1% each day to make yourself better and you will attract awesome people.

 

[JaegerPilot217]

Do you know where I can download it ?

Go to the site called "The Modern Man", its run by a guy named Dan Bacon

 

[FieldDay]

Having something in common can really help to build a friendship

Find some new interests, think about what you might have in common with people, then finding friendships might become easier

 

[JaegerPilot217]

An inspiring success story OP I heard of, is a guy with Asperger's and epilepsy and he was able to get a girlfriend, he is in a 4 year relationship, need to ask him more details about it

 

[eldominante]

I wanna apply the Don Juan Bootcamp to acquire social skills. Afterwards I wanna do simply the Mystery Method with the help of Love Systems. There I will have to use opinion openers as well. Again: Currently I prefer doing Day Game. The circumstances are the same: Too many girls and women are on their smartphones and writing anything on Whatsapp or Facebook or already have a partner. They are very fashionable and care so much on their looks. As if guys had used Pickup Artists and they had used Pickup Cats.
Soooooo much has changed for me in the last 4 years. I was approaching regularly. Then I worked on my self-esteem. Now I have come back and it is like I'd be someone who travels in the future or someone who awoke after some years from coma.

So my call is: H E L P.