No contact or last chance?

[Drummer93]

Hi guys, great forum.

I'm gonna try to make this simple.

Last weekend I met this girl at the bar, took her home at night and hooked up. The next morning we went for breakfast and we set a date for Monday.

Sunday: I called her on to tell her when and where, she said she was excited to see me and it was set.

Monday: We got together, hooked up, got dinner and it was great. She said she had a great time, she likes me..etc and we set a date for Friday.

Wednesday: Got my schedule to see what time I am available on Friday, I called her to let her know but NO answer. I didn't leave a voicemail.

Question: We set a date for Friday but she didn't call me back. I received a few offers to hang with others on Friday and i'm not sure if I should shoot her a text saying I got a few offers Friday night and see if were still getting together or not. OR don't say anything at all and leave it hang?


Thoughts?

 

[Lozboss]

Question 1. Why are you seeing her so often? Once a week.

Make your own plans. Let her initiate next time.

You are in danger of coming across as needy and optionless.

 

[Drummer93]

Question 1. Why are you seeing her so often? Once a week.

Make your own plans. Let her initiate next time.

You are in danger of coming across as needy and optionless.

Yep you are absolutely right, that is one thing I wish I could take back was seeing her once a week. I usually date women once a week and this one I left my feet when she indicated she wanted to see me again.

 

[pyros]

if you called her on Wednesday, relax, she got your call, like everybody does.
If she doesnt contact you that same day, you should go ahead and do plans with your buddies and forget about that suposed date for Friday.

Why you may ask...? because you already asked her out twice, you set a future date, and you called her. What has she done...? nothing. You've initiated more than enough, now it is her time to replicate interest. And if she doesnt...well then you know she's not that interested.

If she doesnt call/text you...forget about her forever. In any case go have fun with your friends next Friday, cause she's probably gonna do the same without letting you know.
If she reaches out to you...then say you made plans BECAUSE SHE DID NOT REPLY TO YOUR CALL IN TIME, but you're willing to reschedule for saturday, sunday...etc., get it?

 

[RecoveringNiceGuy]

If you have to call to confirm a date, it's not a date. A date is a specific time and place to meet, no additional planning necessary.

Stop chasing her.

Stop setting dates on dates.

Stop being so available.

Give her a chance to miss you. Women build attraction when they haven't heard from you and start thinking and wondering what you're doing and if you're thinking about them. Give it 7-10 days, and if you haven't heard from her then you can call her one more time. If she doesn't answer or call you back, then don't contact her again unless she reaches out to you. The more you contact her the more she's going to know you're thinking about her so she'll be thinking about other guys and building attraction to them.

 

[Drummer93]

Done deal. I agree and i made other plans. I check in with her in 7-10 days to see where she is at. I learned my lesson and ive decided i am going to create a bullpen. Have five girls, one date a week and not be serious.

 

[marmel75]

You came off as too needy and made it seem like you had nothing else going for you in your life and were planning on making a chick you just met the center of your universe because she gave you sex. That looks desperate and weak in the eyes of a woman, and makes it seem like you have no options.

Always remember, a woman wants you to choose her over your other options, NOT because you have no other options. Whether that is true or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is what is perceived by her based on your behavior to be true. In this case she perceived you were desperate for her, and that, my friend, is an attraction killer.

 

[Drummer93]

You came off as too needy and made it seem like you had nothing else going for you in your life and were planning on making a chick you just met the center of your universe because she gave you sex. That looks desperate and weak in the eyes of a woman, and makes it seem like you have no options.

Always remember, a woman wants you to choose her over your other options, NOT because you have no other options. Whether that is true or not is irrelevant. What is relevant is what is perceived by her based on your behavior to be true. In this case she perceived you were desperate for her, and that, my friend, is an attraction killer.

You are absolutely right and once i told her i want to see her again i knew i made a mistake. I was willing to ditch the other women in my life. I have to remind myself that i am the prize they are trying to win over and in the beginning she was trying hard to win me over and i gave her the trophy. Time to put her down the rankings, get back at gaining attraction and maintaining it. She keeps looking at my snaps but regardless i have to stay center regardless of who ever i meet.